Uncategorized – Page 36 – Grow Mindfulness

What Sets You Off? – Managing Negative Triggers

There are many things in life that can trigger a negative reaction in us. What triggers you, may have no effect on me. A part of mindfulness practice is getting to know our triggers and working out ways to manage our negative responses.

As we learn about our triggers and better understand them, we are able to manage our reponses more effectively. So one way to grow in mindfulness is to identify your triggers and use a process to help you deal with them mindfully.

The Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (SIYLI) teaches a way to manage triggers, called SBNRR, as part of their mindful leadership program. The steps in this process are as follows:

STOP – stop yourself from reacting automatically

BREATHE – take a deep breath to relax yourself and help you to manage your reaction

NOTICE – notice your bodily sensations, see what is going on in your body (e.g. becoming red faced, tightening of your muscles, strong sense of unease and agitation)

REFLECT – think about what is going on for you, what is triggering this reaction in you. Go beyond the words and think about what you are perceiving (e.g. are you interpreting the words as criticism and do you have a sensitivity to criticism?).

RESPOND – now that you are more aware of what is going on for you, choose an appropriate response that does not aggravate you, your friend/colleague or the situation.

The SBNRR processs is a great way to improve your self-management, a key element in emotional intelligence. When you first start to use this technique, you might have to rely on reflection after the event – “What could I have done differently?”

However, as you grow in mindfulness, you will be able to reflect-in-action and stop youself from the outset. In this way, you can better manage your response to the triggers that would normally set off a negative reaction in you.

Image Source: Courtesy of Robin Higgins on Pixabay

Somatic Meditation: A Pathway to Mindfulness and Trauma Healing

Somatic meditation involves grounding your meditation in your body and not in your mind. We spend so much time in our minds, thinking about the past and the future.

This form of meditation enables us to take advantage of the “natural wakefulness” of our own bodies and to really connect with the present moment.

Conscious breathing is central to somatic meditation and this can take many forms such as:

lower belly breathing
whole body breathing

Somatic meditation also incorporates awareness about sensations in your body that you can develop through practices such as posture alignment, massage, mindful walking and progressive relaxation.

Dr. Catherine Kerr, through her neuroscience research, has shown that mindfulness-based body awareness (developed through conscious breathing and awareness of body sensations) can actually change your mind.

She demonstrates how somatic meditation can overcome negative thoughts and reduce depression, stress and distress from chronic pain.

Sandra Hotz, through her Body Centred Psychotherapy, uses somatic meditation for healing trauma. Your many life experiences are not only stored in your mind but also in your body. Somatic meditation can help to release deep and painful memories that are locked up within your body.

Sandra offers personal counselling as well as a range of meditation classes and courses, including courses in somatic meditation.

Somatic meditation takes so little time and effort but its benefits are far-reaching. It will help you to achieve stillness and calm and to reduce the hectic pace of your life – it is one sure way to grow mindfulness.

Image Source: Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Some Environments are Conducive to Mindfulness

Some environments are conducive to mindfulness because of their natural beauty. Stradbroke Island is one of these locations as the above image illustrates.

Stradbroke Island just off Cleveland in Moreton Bay has natural beauty, abundant bird life, large tracts of native trees and endless beaches. Whale viewing from Point Lookout is absorbing and causes you to marvel at the power and grace of these magnificent mammals.

Where else can you see Kangaroos grazing contentedly in the backyard or a Koala greeting you from a tree near the ferry terminal?

Dr. Bjarte Stubhaug, in an interview with Hanne Suorza, had this to say about nature and mindfulness:

Nature is always here and now. Your breath, your senses, anything around you. When you are being aware of the life within you and around you, you are being mindful of this present moment, and it will always calm you down. You can not do nature, you can just be there. Being is calming.

Whether we are on Stradbroke Island or somewhere else in nature, we can readily experience mindfulness, calm the mind and release negative emotions. Open awareness when in nature can lead to inner awareness.

Image source: Copyright R. Passfield

Singing: A Pathway to Mindfulness

Chris James, internationally acclaimed singer, musician and voice teacher, believes that we all have a natural, beautiful voice. Having been a Buddhist monk, he is also very aware of the power of mindfulness and is firmly convinced that singing is a pathway to mindfulness. He teaches singing around the world at events large and small, as well as provides one-on-one coaching.

Chris reminds us that our bodies are a natural resonator and all we have to do is to relax and breathe naturally and we can learn to find our natural voice. Expression is so much a part of our daily lives – we talk to our family and friends, attend meetings, present information and interact with our colleagues at work.

Through singing we can learn to express ourselves truthfully – to get in touch with our real selves, our natural expression. In this way, we “find our voice” and open our hearts to beauty, nature and connectedness.

Unfortunately, we all have to manage the “chatter” in our heads – the negative thoughts that we tell ourselves about our ability to sing. Some of these originate within ourselves, others from our pareants, siblings or our friends who remind us that we cannot sing. We have to let go of this chatter and the “narrative” that constrains our thinking, our lives and our true potential.

Chris James believes, like Jon Kabat-Zinn, that we have to learn to get out of our heads, our endless cycle of thoughts, and learn to “inhabit our bodies”. When we become grounded in our bodies through voice, we are able to realise more of our potential and experience calm, clarity and creativity.

Over the past fifteen years, I have attended many singing workshops conducted by Chris James – ranging from half-day workshops to a two week residential in Lismore. I am continually amazed at what happens when people learn to be still, to “let go of what they are not” and to relax into their voice – what happens to the quality of their voice and the way they express themselves with new confidence and excitement is truly amazing.

You can see from the following YouTube video of Chris James leading a “Big Sing” in Byron Bay, that people start off singing very tentatively and as they relax, they begin to open their mouths and sing freely. The result is a beautiful natural choir of people, many of whom had never met each other before this event.

Chris James has developed a community choir in Lismore that anyone can join, singers and non-singers alike. There are no auditions and no set vocal parts. Choir members are encouraged to harmonise spontaneously at different times. The opportunity is there to find your own beautiful voice, to become grounded in your voice and grow in mindfulness in your expression.

Image source: www.chrisjames.net

Reflection and the Art of Solving Jigsaw Puzzles

Our family has had a long-standing tradition of solving a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle whenever we go away on holidays for more than a week.

The collaborative endeavour of solving the jigsaw puzzle has a relaxing effect, builds relationships and facilitates conversation.

Recently, my wife and I went on a holiday and in line with our family tradition purchased a 1,000 word WASJIG? jigsaw puzzle. These puzzles are particularly difficult because the image on the box depicts the present scenario – the jigsaw puzzle itself reflects the same scenario at some future time. So the image you are provided with is just a guide – and sometimes intentionally misleading.

When solving the jigsaw puzzle, it was particularly important to challenge your own assumptions – to change your assumptions about shape, colour or location of a puzzle piece (or sometimes, all three aspects). Often when you got stuck, the way forward was to challenge one or more of your assumptions. This challenge to assumptions was particularly aided by the reflections of the other person, e.g.”Could that piece go at the top, rather than the bottom”; “This looks like becoming a car, not a shop”; “There seems to be a crowd outside the train, have you thought of that to explain the missing pieces?; “Could those two connected pieces be placed vertically rather than horizontally?; “I think that we should sort the last 100 pieces by shape rather than by colour as we have them now.”

The reality is that we have limited perception – we often see what we want to see and often fail to see what is in front of us. We also experience perceptual bias based on our own life experiences. So it is important to reflect with others, to be open to perceptions and perspectives of other people, if we are going to move forward in whatever endeavour we are undertaking.

How often have you worked on a jigsaw puzzle and been unable to find a particular piece and someone walks past and says “this piece looks like it should fill the gap” (and they may have had no prior involvement in the puzzle solving process). They are able to see the puzzle with fresh eyes and have no preconceived ideas or assumptions.

I was reflecting on our processes for solving this jigsaw puzzle and was reminded of the words of Reg Revans, the father of action learning, who suggested that really effective reflection requires challenging our own assumptions. He also maintained that this challenge to our assumptions was achieved more often by reflecting with one or more others. He suggests that when we reflect alone we can often reinforce our existing assumptions – when we reflect with others our assumptions can be open to the challenge of others.

The process of reflection has a strong relationship to mindfulness. As we build our ability to reflect, we become more aware of the need to be mindful in the situation as an aid to reflection (e.g. “If only I had really noticed her reaction at the time, I could have done something about it!”). It is difficult to reflect on what you have said or done, if you lack awareness at the time. In a similar way, when we become more mindful through mindfulness practices, we are better able to reflect-in-action, to reflect on our own words and actions while we are in the process of saying and doing. So, in the final analysis, reflection and mindfulness are mutually reinforcing.

Image Source: Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Coming to Our Senses

Mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn, in his book, Coming to Our Senses, observes about our sense of sight:

We see habitually, which means we see in very limited ways, or we don’t see at all, even sometimes what is right under our noses and in front of our very eyes. We see on automatic pilot, taking the miracle of seeing for granted, until it is merely part of the unacknowledged background within which we go about our business. (p. 43)

He suggests that we are badly “out of shape” when it comes to understanding and using our senses, not only our sight. He argues that we need to practice to develop our awareness through our senses.

As we work to develop mindfulness, we become more aware of each of our senses. We hear more consciously and see more purposefully, we become more aware of our sense of smell and more refined in our sense of taste, and overall more attuned to our sense of touch.

Isabel Allende illustrates this heightened awareness of senses exquisitely when she describes how a view of a particular landscape reminded her of her childhood experience of Chile:

The landscape, green, and rather somber, reminds me of the south of Chile: the same centuries-old trees, the sharp scent of eucalyptus and wild mint, the stream that turned to cascades in winter, the cries of birds and shrill of crickets. (Paula, p.238)

We can develop mindfulness through being consciously aware of our individual senses whether through mindful eating, active listening, mindful walking or some other conscious mindful practice.

One way to start simply is to observe something within our own backyard. For instance, the image for this post is a bird I noticed in a tree in my backyard when I was consciously listening to and observing birds from my back deck. Initially, I could not see the bird as it was camouflaged in a leafless tree. It was only when I moved my position that I saw my backyard bird against the background of the green leaves of another tree.

As Kabat-Zinn observed we so often do not see or hear what is in front of us unless we make a conscious effort to be mindful and focus our attention.