Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is the author of a poem-a-day as well as a dozen books of poetry. Her daily poems can be accessed through her blog, A Hundred Falling Veils. Her latest books of poetry – All the Honey and The Unfolding – were written after the death of her son and that of her father three months later. Her son took his own life and Rosemerry’s grief expressed in her poems is palpable. Rosemerry describes writing poetry as a mindfulness practice that has helped her manage her grief and an abiding sadness
Poetry – “a dance of opposites”
What is particularly distinctive about her poetry is the blending of opposites – pain and joy, sadness and wonder. Rosemerry considers poetry as “a dance of opposites”. She maintains that poetry gives expression to opposites. This process enables her to hold two conflicting feelings at the same time. Writing poetry helps her to rise above her sorrow – to be able to admire beauty and peace amidst pain and loss.
Her focus on what is good in her life enables her to manage the personal devastations that she has experienced. While she gives full voice to her grief, her poetry expresses her gratitude and appreciation for the beauty and goodness that surrounds her daily. She is able, through her poetry, to be fully present to what is – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Rosemerry asks the question, “How do we show up for these oppositional feelings?” such as grief and joy. Her discussions cover not only feelings but also perceptions and mindsets. In an interview about her book, The Unfolding, she tells the story of how she used to make assumptions about Ford car owners and their likely voting preferences. To challenge this perception and mindset, she purchased a Ford car herself and found that by reaching across the mental divide she was able to perceive some commonality with other such owners.
As I was listening, I recalled that I had developed a mindset about Mercedes owners, assuming they were thoughtless, constantly obsessed with “time is money” and caring little for other people’s needs. Then two things happened – my wife and I were looking at buying a Mercedes ourselves (it was the best option available at the time to meet our needs) and a thoughtful Mercedes driver let me into a busy line of traffic. These experiences challenged my perception and mindset. Rosemerry asserts that poetry can also do this by helping us to take an alternative view and look at oppositional perceptions and mindsets.
Poetry: changing metaphors and breaking frames
In a TEDx Talk, Rosemerry spoke of the need to change metaphors if we are to accommodate oppositional thinking. In her presentation, she quotes linguist George Lakoff who writes in his book, Don’t Think of an Elephant!: Know Your Values and Frame the Debate, that “one of the fundamental findings of the cognitive sciences is that we think in terms of frames and metaphors”. Neuroscience has identified the physical manifestation of this phenomenon in the form of neurocircuitry.
Rosemerry asserts that the use of metaphors is universal, employed in every language throughout the world, to enable us “to understand our world, our ideas and our emotions”. She suggests that we just listen to, and carefully observe, everyday language, which is replete with metaphors, e.g. “the time is ripe”, “fell like a dead tree”, “he has a heart of gold”.
She explains that behind each metaphor we use is a “conceptual frame” that shapes our perception of the world and our situation in it. The frame allows a particular perception and interpretation and excludes other explanations – it constrains our freedom to explore alternative ideas. Rosemerry gives the example of a constraining metaphor that occurred for her following the rejection of one her manuscripts and the acceptance of someone else’s. She describes how the “envy metaphor” took over her thinking – she engaged in an endless comparison with the other person, inflating their positives and exaggerating her own negativities. After a while, she began to realize that the envy metaphor did not serve her well but limited her perception of options. Her comparisons with the other person were grossly distorted.
Rosemerry found that she had to find another metaphor to frame her situation to enable her to move forward, rather than wallow in her disappointment and resentment. What helped her on this occasion was her tendency to push her metaphoric story to absurd limits – a form of reductio ad absurdum (Latin for “reduction to absurdity’}, e.g. she began to think that the other writer was a “better gardener” who had “greener fingers” – an analogy way beyond the writing competence of her perceived competitor.
How to change metaphors and break mental frames
In her TEDx Talk, Rosemerry offered a number of suggestions of how we might change our metaphor that is not working for us in a particular situation. Her first offering might prove to be “too far-fetched” for some people but she offered it nonetheless. In this approach she suggests that you choose an object (any object} and you ask the object a number of questions, e.g. “What can you teach me today?”, “What is your purpose?” This imagined interaction can lead to the identification of an alternative metaphor that may work in your new situation.
Rosemerry also offers a second approach to metaphor change and frame breaking. For this approach, she draws on the work of a friend who suggested that you take a line of poetry and change the words and ideas expressed in that poem. By way of example she quoted a line from an Emily Dickinson’s poem, Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul. Rosemerry suggested that you use this line (or any other line of poetry} as a jumping off point to explore a new metaphor or frame of reference. She offers some possible changes to the line such as persistence is the bindweed that pushes through the pavement.
Putting forth alternative lines opens up the possibility of identifying new metaphors or frames of reference that can create the freedom to think differently, to break through the constraints of an existing frame of reference. Rosemerry maintains that the changed metaphor can enable you “to see the world in ways that you have never seen the world before” – this can be truly freeing and provide the opportunity to develop new perspectives and identify different options to address your situation. She asks, “How might it [the new metaphor] change the way you approach your day?”
Reflection
I took a line about hope from Anne Frank’s book, The Diary of a Young Girl, and changed it to read, Where there is hope there is exploration and openness, not closure. At the time I was dealing with another psychotic episode suffered by my adult son. This helped me to replace a “despair metaphor” with a “hope metaphor” – it helped me to see alternative outcomes and the possibility of healing. The process of reframing led me to develop the following poem where “he” became “we” and opened up a new understanding, as well as allowed space for hope:
Hope is Opening
He has been elevated again.
Why does he consume things that are harmful to himself and others?
Turning the mirror on myself,
why do I consume foods that are harmful to myself and others?
What are we seeking?
Is it an escape from boredom and the sense of exclusion?
Is it a search for companionship and connection?
Where there is hope, there is exploration of new pathways,
there resides openness and the end of closure.
If we grow in mindfulness through mindfulness practises such as spending time in nature, conscious breathing and reflection, we can become more aware of own constraining metaphors and find creative ways to change our metaphors and break our imprisoning frames.
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Image by Loi Tran from Pixabay
By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)
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