Tag: The Unfolding

Poetry – Blending Opposites and Breaking Frames

Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is the author of a poem-a-day as well as a dozen books of poetry.  Her daily poems can be accessed through her blog, A Hundred Falling Veils.  Her latest books of poetry – All the Honey and The Unfolding – were written after the death of her son and that of her father three months later.   Her son took his own life and Rosemerry’s grief expressed in her poems is palpable.   Rosemerry describes writing poetry as a mindfulness practice that has helped her manage her grief and an abiding sadness

Poetry – “a dance of opposites”

What is particularly distinctive about her poetry is the blending of opposites – pain and joy, sadness and wonder. Rosemerry considers poetry as “a dance of opposites”.  She maintains that poetry gives expression to opposites. This process enables her to hold two conflicting feelings at the same time.  Writing poetry helps her to rise above her sorrow – to be able to admire beauty and peace amidst pain and loss.

Her focus on what is good in her life enables her to manage the personal devastations that she has experienced.  While she gives full voice to her grief, her poetry expresses her gratitude and appreciation for the beauty and goodness that surrounds her daily.  She is able, through her poetry, to be fully present to what is  – the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Rosemerry asks the question, “How do we show up for these oppositional feelings?” such as grief and joy.  Her discussions cover not only feelings but also perceptions and mindsets.  In an interview about her book, The Unfolding, she tells the story of how she used to make assumptions about Ford car owners and their likely voting preferences.  To challenge this perception and mindset, she purchased a Ford car herself and found that by reaching across the mental divide she was able to perceive some commonality with other such owners. 

As I was listening, I recalled that I had developed a mindset about Mercedes owners, assuming they were thoughtless, constantly obsessed with “time is money” and caring little for other people’s needs.  Then two things happened – my wife and I were looking at buying a Mercedes ourselves (it was the best option available at the time to meet our needs) and a thoughtful Mercedes driver let me into a busy line of traffic.  These experiences challenged my perception and mindset.  Rosemerry asserts that poetry can also do this by helping us to take an alternative view and look at oppositional perceptions and mindsets.

Poetry: changing metaphors and breaking frames

In a TEDx Talk, Rosemerry spoke of the need to change metaphors if we are to accommodate oppositional thinking.  In her presentation, she quotes linguist George Lakoff who writes in his book, Don’t Think of an Elephant!: Know Your Values and Frame the Debate, that “one of the fundamental findings of the cognitive sciences is that we think in terms of frames and metaphors”.  Neuroscience has identified the physical manifestation of this phenomenon in the form of neurocircuitry.

Rosemerry asserts that the use of metaphors is universal, employed in every language throughout the world, to enable us “to understand our world, our ideas and our emotions”.  She suggests that we just listen to, and carefully observe, everyday language, which is replete with metaphors, e.g. “the time is ripe”, “fell like a dead tree”, “he has a heart of gold”.   

She explains that behind each metaphor we use is a “conceptual frame” that shapes our perception of the world and our situation in it.  The frame allows a particular perception and interpretation and excludes other explanations – it constrains our freedom to explore alternative ideas.  Rosemerry gives the example of a constraining metaphor that occurred for her following the rejection of one her manuscripts and the acceptance of someone else’s.  She describes how the “envy metaphor” took over her thinking – she engaged in an endless comparison with the other person, inflating their positives and exaggerating her own negativities.  After a while, she began to realize that the envy metaphor did not serve her well but limited her perception of options.  Her comparisons with the other person were grossly distorted.

Rosemerry found that she had to find another metaphor to frame her situation to enable her to move forward, rather than wallow in her disappointment and resentment.  What helped her on this occasion was her tendency to push her metaphoric story to absurd limits – a form of reductio ad absurdum (Latin for “reduction to absurdity’}, e.g. she began to think that the other writer was a “better gardener” who had “greener fingers” – an analogy way beyond the writing competence of her perceived competitor.

How to change metaphors and break mental frames

In her TEDx Talk, Rosemerry offered a number of suggestions of how we might change our metaphor that is not working for us in a particular situation.  Her first offering might prove to be “too far-fetched” for some people but she offered it nonetheless. In this approach she suggests that you choose an object (any object} and you ask the object a number of questions, e.g. “What can you teach me today?”, “What is your purpose?”  This imagined interaction can lead to the identification of an alternative metaphor that may work in your new situation. 

Rosemerry also offers a second approach to metaphor change and frame breaking.  For this approach, she draws on the work of a friend who suggested that you take a line of poetry and change the words and ideas expressed in that poem.  By way of example she quoted a line from an Emily Dickinson’s poem, Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.  Rosemerry suggested that you use this line (or any other line of poetry} as a jumping off point to explore a new metaphor or frame of reference.  She offers some possible changes to the line such as persistence is the bindweed that pushes through the pavement.

Putting forth alternative lines opens up the possibility of identifying new metaphors or frames of reference that can create the freedom to think differently, to break through the constraints of an existing frame of reference. Rosemerry maintains that the changed metaphor can enable you “to see the world in ways that you have never seen the world before”  – this can be truly freeing and provide the opportunity to develop new perspectives and identify different options to address your situation.  She asks, “How might it [the new metaphor] change the way you approach your day?”

Reflection

I took a line about hope from Anne Frank’s book,  The Diary of a Young Girl, and changed it to read, Where there is hope there is exploration and openness, not closure.   At the time I was dealing with another psychotic episode suffered by my adult son.  This helped me to replace a “despair metaphor” with a “hope metaphor” – it helped me to see alternative outcomes and the possibility of healing. The process of reframing led me to develop the following poem where “he” became “we” and opened up a new understanding, as well as allowed space for hope:

Hope is Opening

He has been elevated again.
Why does he consume things that are harmful to himself and others?

Turning the mirror on myself,
why do I consume foods that are harmful to myself and others?

What are we seeking?
Is it an escape from boredom and the sense of exclusion?
Is it a search for companionship and connection?

Where there is hope, there is exploration of new pathways,
there resides openness and the end of closure.

If we grow in mindfulness through mindfulness practises such as spending time in nature, conscious breathing and reflection, we can become more aware of own constraining metaphors and find creative ways to change our metaphors and break our imprisoning frames.

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Image by Loi Tran from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

A Letter in Response to Chronic Illness

Each month I participate in an online Meetup of a group of writers-with-chronic-illness sponsored by the Health Story Collaborative (HSC).  In our February Creative Meetup, we were introduced by our facilitator, Jennifer Crystal, to the concept of writing a letter to our chronic illness.  Jennifer who has Lyme Disease herself, read out a poem by Bonny van Geffen, titled One Lyme Warrior’s  Letter to Herself. 

In the letter to herself, Bonny exhorts herself to admire her own strength in dealing with her illness and to avoid guilt, shame, self-hate and self-accusations.  She compassionately encourages herself to forgive others for their lack of understanding of her illness and its debilitating effects.  In her final paragraph, she suggests to herself that she blame the tick and it’s bite, not herself, for her chronic illness.

Writing prompts

Following the reading of Bonny’s letter, Jennifer invited us to spend 20 minutes writing prose or poetry in response to one of the following writing prompts:

  • Write a love letter to your illness or yourself
  • Write a letter to someone involved in your story (such as a doctor, family member, or friend). What do you need them to know?

Participants in the group shared their insightful letters to their illness or self, some with humour that they explained was a coping mechanism for them.  One participant wrote A letter to My Father expressing appreciation and love for his tolerance and support during his mental illness.  Synchronistically, I wrote A Letter to My Son who recently suffered a mental health episode that resulted in his hospitalisation.

The context of my letter- its connection to my chronic illnesses

I have MCAS and histamine intolerance along with hypertension.  So the stress generated by my son’s behaviour over a week, affected me not only emotionally and mentally but also physically.  It resulted in increased blood pressure along with elevated histamine levels leading to rashes and hives, that alternated between being excessively itchy and generating very dry skin with a burning sensation.

Writing poetry as a mindfulness practice

I found that writing poetry during this time helped me to deal with the stress and enabled me to achieve some degree of emotional regulation and capacity to assist my son and other affected family members – a result of poetry as a mindfulness practice (as recommended by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer).

My mixed emotions and hopeful thoughts were expressed in my poem, A Family Crisis:

Disturbing distress,
disrupted sleep,
distracted concentration,
confused feelings.

Concentric circles of disorientation,
extending to family and friends,
putting life on hold,
family’s peace and privacy punctured.

As I experienced a deepening divide between my son and myself during his mental health episode, I wrote a poem with the title, The Great Divide:

Anger and aggression rear their ugly head,
an unbridgeable chasm,
a physical, mental and emotional divide,
Therein lies grief – separation and loss.
Lives in disarray.

Stretching out across the void,
seeking connection,
unable to reach the other side,
into the tunnel, no light at the end,
dislocation, disturbance and dismay.

As I began to empathise with my son’s mental health condition, I came to realise that we were living in Parallel Worlds:

Parallel worlds of exhaustion,
of mind, body and spirit,
loss of control, freedom and choice,
shared experience of anxiety, uncertainty and deep distress.

As his condition began to improve through medication, I was able to experience some relief (together with mixed emotions) – expressed in the poem, Light at the End of the Tunnel:

Grateful for the care,
concern for the future,
admiring resilience,
trusting intention.

Relief floods in as aggression abates,
freedom, control and choice partially restored,
regret and shame emerge,
revisiting trust and faith.

New insight into “elevated”,
shedding psychosis,
re-emergence of sensitivity,
growing self-awareness.

Mixed emotions –
trust, patience and tolerance restored,
pain and hurt linger beneath,
still unease remains.

A way forward emerges,
light appears at the end of the tunnel,
faith and hope abide,
welcoming home what was lost.

My response to Jennfer’s writing prompts

I chose to write to the second of the writing prompts provided by Jennifer (listed above), so I wrote A Letter to My Son:

You are in pain and lost in your world.
I see you emerging out of the darkness of a deep tunnel.
We have been in parallel worlds.
Hurt and distrust lie within.

I look for the thoughtfulness and sensitivity that is the real you.
I treasure the times when you showed me love and concern.
I savour your presence, personality and power,
your insight, kindness and intelligence.

Reflection

At the end of the Meetup session, after we had shared our writing with other members of the group, Jennifer suggested that we write a short process journal entry.  The aim here is to identify what the session brought up for us in terms of insight and feelings.  It surfaced for me, my love for my son despite the hurt, pain and resentment.  It helped me to deal with my nervousness by focusing on what I truly value and savour in my son who is very likeable and loving.

I felt especially grateful to Jennifer for introducing us to the poetry of Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer.  Writing poetry during this family crisis was an important anchor for me as everything around me was in freefall.  I had read the introduction to Rosemerry’s book, Exploring Poetry of Presence 11: Prompts to Deepen Your Writing Practice, and started writing poems frequently, rather than as a one-off exercise.

In a previous Meetup, Jennifer reinforced the added value of sharing our writing by reading our poem/prose to others in the group.  Jo, a participant, reinforced this idea by commenting to me, “I felt calm just listening to you”.  I have subsequently listened to a number of interviews with Rosemerry about her anthologies of poems.  In an interview about her new anthology, The Unfolding, she states that she really loves doing poetry reading around the world and conducting classes where “we read poems and talk about them”.  Rosemerry maintains that she finds this process “ecstatic”, “Juicy“ and yummy” because “we all translate it [the poem] through the lens of our own experience”. There are times that Rosemerry is “shocked” or experiences “utter admiration” for the different translations of a poem that people bring to the conversation.

Writing poetry can help us to grow in mindfulness because it makes us more present to what is, develops insight into our inner world and encourages us to value and appreciate our outer world, its beauty and awe-inspiring nature.

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Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Poetry as Mindfulness

In the previous blog post, I discussed the mindfulness practices that Mary Fowler, international soccer star, uses to grow her resilience, support her mental health and develop calm and happiness. What I did not include in these discussions is the poetry that Mary writes and incorporates in the chapters of her memoir, Bloom: Creating a life I love.

Poetry can be a rich source of mindfulness, both when reading poems or writing them.  Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, author of Exploring Poetry of Presence 11: Prompts to Deepen Your Writing Practice, explains how writing poetry can be a mindfulness practice.  Her book provides not only a guide to reading Poetry of Presence 11- More Mindfulness Poems, but also a stimulus to our own poetry writing.  To achieve guidance for reading the focal book, Rosemerry draws on every poem in the book and uses them and other poems to stimulate our own writing of poetry.

Rosemerry co-hosts the podcast Emerging Form that discusses how to develop the creative process and provides examples.  Her poetry is published widely and her anthologies include Hush (a winner of the Halcyon Prize), Naked for Tea, and All the Honey.  She has written a poem daily since 2006 and these can be accessed by subscribing to her mailing list and/or by reading her blog, A Hundred Falling Veils.  Rosemerry also produces an audio daily, The Poetic Path, which she describes as “an immersive daily experience of poetry and reflection”. 

Writing poems as a mindfulness practice

Writing poems develops our capacity to be in the present moment, to be open to the richness of our daily experience and to engage more consciously with others and the world at large. Writing cultivates curiosity and acceptance of what is.  It enables us “to show up in the moment”, if we arrive daily with a pen in our hand or a digital device for capturing our thoughts, observations and reflections in-the-moment.

Writing poems changes the way we engage with others, ourselves and our daily environment. It makes us more aware of, and open to, both our external and internal worlds and helps us to achieve an integration between them.  When we are seeking to write poetry, we are on the lookout for inspiration and are more conscious of what is going on in our life, in our body and in our mind – it makes us so much more grounded in the reality of our everyday life.

Rosemerry maintains that we should not seek to write “good” poetry according to external standards or those of other people. She argues that this only taps into our negative self-thoughts and cultivates a mindset of criticism and can lead us to get stuck or frustrated.  For her, this self-criticism is the opposite of being mindful – it is not accepting what is and how our writing reflects the vicissitudes of our daily life and our natural responses to how we experience our reality.  She encourages us to write from our own truth – what is true for us in this moment of writing.

The outcomes of writing poems as a mindfulness practice

Rosemerry draws on her own poem-writing experience to provide a “caveat” for the readers of her book.  She counsels us to be aware that not only will our writing change but a lot of other things in our life will change too in unpredictable ways.  She explains that using writing as a mindfulness practice has made her more open to life, softened her perspective on many things and enabled her to be “more willing to be vulnerable”.

She found that through her poetry writing she became more honest and trusting.  A key outcome of this mindfulness practice was her ability to meet “great loss”, in particular, when her son took his own life.  Rosemerry contends that the mindfulness practice of writing poetry really matters when we are faced with “trauma, loss, fear and woundedness”.  In her anthology of poems titled The Unfolding, written after the deaths of her son and father, she shares her aching heart while savouring beauty and wonder.  Her poems in this collection convey contrasting states such as playful and sombre. They express a life lived fully, consciously and openly.

Despite her grief over her son’s death, Rosemerry experienced an ever-increasing capacity and desire to be open to the richness of life. In the process, she was able to love and connect even amidst “the tough stuff”.   She attributes the mindfulness practice of writing poetry to her ability to avoid “shutting down” in the face of extraordinary pain.  Having established a “practice of presence”, she was able to show up each day.  Her daily stimulus for writing was a set of questions such as, (1) “What is here?” and (2) “What is true right now?”.  We could add for our own writing practice the question, “How do I want to show up today?”.

Rosemerry contends that gaining these mindfulness outcomes does not depend on our talent, wisdom or skill level – all that is required is to “show up with a blank piece of paper and a pen”.  She maintains that using other people’s poems as a guide can help us to write as well as drawing on the writing prompts she provides in her book or other books such as Exploring Poetry of Presence: A Companion Guide by Gloria Heffernan.

Writing prompts for poems

Throughout her book, Rosemerry provides a series of writing prompts to enable us to write our own poems if we need an external stimulus.  Sometimes poems just come to us, catalyzed by significant events in our lives. The writing prompts she offers are an invitation to write our own poems and are an excellent stimulus for self-expression.  An example of the prompts she provides includes the following prompt:

Paying attention – the challenge to be in the present moment, noticing the world around us and within us.  We can view the world (and our writing) through our senses – sight, sound, smell, touch and taste.  Consciously noticing our outer world can lead to cognisance of our inner world – our thoughts, our feelings, our sense of wonder and awe.  Rosemerry claims that writing poems mindfully can “build a bridge between these two worlds” – our outer and inner reality.

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, meditation teacher and practitioner, paying attention is central to mindfulness and enables openness, curiosity and self-awareness (particularly of our negative self-talk).  Rosemerry suggests that an easy way to start to pay attention and write is to create a list, e.g. of “what could be”, “what I sense in the moment” or “what I find interesting about the world”.  She maintains that by “naming things outside the body” we are led to a “revelation inside the body”. 

Reflection

I have found that writing a reflective poem has helped me to manage my frustration and pain associated with chronic illnesses.   Writing poetry enables me to take a different perspective, explore the consequences of my own actions and often acts as a “bridge to action” when I am faced with inertia.

Writing poems has been particularly helpful for me to stay grounded during a recent family crisis where violence and injury, destruction and dissolution, were very real.  Mindfulness heightened by poetry writing enabled me to reflect on what was occurring, explore alternatives and be conscious of my whole-body stress.

As we grow in mindfulness by poetry writing, we can tap into the power of being present, enhance our creativity and build our resilience in the face of “the tough stuff”.  We can also develop self-care strategies that enable us to withstand the ever-occurring forces of overwhelm.

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Image by Janusz Walczak from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.