writing prompts

Time as Metaphor

George Lakoff and Mark Turner point out in their book, More Than Cool Reason: A Field Guide to Poetic Metaphor, that we “deal with time metaphorically”, just as we do with other abstract concepts such as life and death. In a previous post, I discussed how a metaphor itself shapes our perceptions and world view and how poetry can enable us to change metaphors and break frames. Time metaphors are pervasive in our everyday language and expose how we view time.

Time metaphors

In this current post, I discuss several time metaphors and explore ways to break free of the constraints in thinking and feeling that they elicit:

If only I had more time

The desire for “more time” is fraught with difficulty because “time” is finite in the sense that we only live one lifetime (normally, up to 100 years). The saying suggests that we could do “more of the same, without reflecting on how we use our time”. We need to review how we spend our time, e.g. in watching TV, sleeping, going to the movies, talking, spreading rumours, playing video games, engaging with social media, feasting on the news. We can treat time as an endless commodity to be drawn on at will or view it as something that is finite and valuable. We can waste time or fritter it away because we have not learned to value what time represents – our chance to learn, grow, contribute and support. There is more to time than meets the eye.

Killing time

This is a way of saying: I need to use time up because I have too much time. It suggests that we are bored, have nothing positive or productive to do. This is an opportunity to savour the freedom of boredom. We are consumed by the need to be doing things all the time, to fill in time with activity. The emphasis on “doing” instead of “being” creates its own stresses. Boredom can be freeing in that it motivates us to be more creative in how we spend our time – the work that we do, our leisure choices, our creative pursuits, developing relationships, our mindfulness practices. Arlie Russell Hochschild suggests that our need to be busy creates a Time Bind that means we are caught up in an obsessive need to fill in time with activity. In the workplace, we have to be seen to be busy – what Christine Jackman describes as “performative busyness”.

Running out of time

This expression often refers to an impending deadline, one that is externally imposed or self-created. We can review the external deadlines in terms of importance and necessity and, where possible, negotiate a change in timeline. Self-imposed timelines are time- traps of our own creation. We can review them and question why we have created them – are they the product of limiting self-beliefs, a need to please, or a need to achieve? In reviewing our self-imposed deadlines, we can ask ourselves, “How necessary are they?” “How could they be changed/adjusted?” By way of example, when I started out writing this blog, I set myself the goal of daily blog posts. This became unsustainable when I started co-facilitating manager-development programs across the State. On the advice of my mentor, I changed my goal to two or three posts a week. I have subsequently adjusted my timeline again to reflect my desire to write a series of e-books based on this blog. I now aim to write two 1,000 word posts per month, along with updating my archive page. Adjusting our self-imposed deadlines for changed circumstances becomes essential if we are to avoid creating unnecessary stress.

Wasting time

We often hear the expression, “That’s a waste of time” or “Stop wasting time”. The emphasis on waste is a recognition that time is a finite resource for our life here on earth. Unfortunately, we spend so much time either thinking about the past or worrying about the future – catalysts for depression and anxiety. Jake Bailey reminds us too that we can spend so much time on looking forward to tomorrow (and live in expectation of what it has to offer) that we lose sight of the present. Elisha Goldstein in his book, The Now Effect, reminds us that being mindful of the present moment can change our life. Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey reinforce this message in their book, Slowing Down to the Speed of Life. They maintain that we speed up our lives when we live in the past, engage in self-judging or become overly-analytical of our daily life and its related problems. They argue that the benefits of slowing down to the present moment (rather than racing ahead) include improving our health and relationships, enjoying more peace and equanimity, reducing our stress and strengthening our focus and capacity to be productive.

Time metaphors and chronic illness

Jennifer Crystal – writer, educator and author of One Tick Stopped the Clock – has written about the different perceptions of time and mindsets by people experiencing chronic illness and those close to people suffering from chronic illness. In a blog post, The Time-Warp of Tick-Borne Illness, she discusses time metaphors in the context of her own experience of tick-borne chronic Lyme Disease.

Jennifer points out that we typically have a different relationship to time (and different time metaphors) at the various stages of our life. As children, time does not move fast enough; as we become aged, we want time to slow down. When people experience chronic illness, different time metaphors come into play.

Jennifer notes that she lost so much time through illness which delayed her degree graduation, her relationships and job/life plans. For her during this period of chronic illness and a subsequent relapse, time moved too fast. She felt an urgency to catch up with time. However, her recovery depended on her slowing down and spending time on self-care. Despite the feeling of having a lot of catching up to do, Jennifer has had to move at her own pace to achieve her goals in her own time and to avoid further major relapses.

Jennifer noted that perceptions of time can be so very different for the well in comparison to the chronically ill. The former often wish for the free time that they see as the province of the chronically ill (time to lie around and read or watch TV). What they don’t realise is that the chronically ill person often does not have the energy or pain-free experience to enjoy these envied activities. Jennifer maintains that each side (the healthy and the chronically ill) need to develop an understanding of the perspective and experience of the other. Even the healthy person experiences stressors and pain in this fast-paced world.

Reflection

In this post, I have concentrated on several time metaphors that can constrain our perception and mindset. However, there are time metaphors that have positive connotations or that promote proactivity, such as a stitch in time saves nine.

In the March Creative Meetup, an online support group for writers-with-chronic-illness, Jennifer shared her blog post and offered two time-related writing prompts:

How has your relationship to time changed with your illness?
Imagine yourself springing forward or backward to a future or past moment in your life. Write a letter to your future or former self from your current self.

As we grow in mindfulness through reflection and other mindfulness practices, we can gain self-awareness about our own time metaphors and find creative ways to break the frames that constrain our thinking and mindset.

I developed the following poem while reflecting on time metaphors:

Time Metaphors

Time doesn’t wait,
it marches on.

We waste time when
killing time,
living for tomorrow,
buying our time,
waiting for the right time.

We express time regrets when we say
if only I had more time,
I have too much time on my hands,
time is going too fast,
if only I had my time over again.

We express frustration with time when we say
where has all the time gone?
I can’t wait till tomorrow comes,
I’ve run out of time,
I’m caught in the trap of time.

Time is restless, relentless, resilient, resourceful.

Time is opportunity
to learn, grow and create,
to care for self and others,
to be in the present moment,
to experience wonder and awe.

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

A Letter in Response to Chronic Illness

Each month I participate in an online Meetup of a group of writers-with-chronic-illness sponsored by the Health Story Collaborative (HSC). In our February Creative Meetup, we were introduced by our facilitator, Jennifer Crystal, to the concept of writing a letter to our chronic illness. Jennifer who has Lyme Disease herself, read out a poem by Bonny van Geffen, titled One Lyme Warrior’s Letter to Herself.

In the letter to herself, Bonny exhorts herself to admire her own strength in dealing with her illness and to avoid guilt, shame, self-hate and self-accusations. She compassionately encourages herself to forgive others for their lack of understanding of her illness and its debilitating effects. In her final paragraph, she suggests to herself that she blame the tick and it’s bite, not herself, for her chronic illness.

Following the reading of Bonny’s letter, Jennifer invited us to spend 20 minutes writing prose or poetry in response to one of the following writing prompts:

Write a love letter to your illness or yourself
Write a letter to someone involved in your story (such as a doctor, family member, or friend). What do you need them to know?

Participants in the group shared their insightful letters to their illness or self, some with humour that they explained was a coping mechanism for them. One participant wrote A letter to My Father expressing appreciation and love for his tolerance and support during his mental illness. Synchronistically, I wrote A Letter to My Son who recently suffered a mental health episode that resulted in his hospitalisation.

The context of my letter- its connection to my chronic illnesses

I have MCAS and histamine intolerance along with hypertension. So the stress generated by my son’s behaviour over a week, affected me not only emotionally and mentally but also physically. It resulted in increased blood pressure along with elevated histamine levels leading to rashes and hives, that alternated between being excessively itchy and generating very dry skin with a burning sensation.

Writing poetry as a mindfulness practice

I found that writing poetry during this time helped me to deal with the stress and enabled me to achieve some degree of emotional regulation and capacity to assist my son and other affected family members – a result of poetry as a mindfulness practice (as recommended by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer).

My mixed emotions and hopeful thoughts were expressed in my poem, A Family Crisis:

Disturbing distress,
disrupted sleep,
distracted concentration,
confused feelings.

Concentric circles of disorientation,
extending to family and friends,
putting life on hold,
family’s peace and privacy punctured.

As I experienced a deepening divide between my son and myself during his mental health episode, I wrote a poem with the title, The Great Divide:

Anger and aggression rear their ugly head,
an unbridgeable chasm,
a physical, mental and emotional divide,
Therein lies grief – separation and loss.
Lives in disarray.

Stretching out across the void,
seeking connection,
unable to reach the other side,
into the tunnel, no light at the end,
dislocation, disturbance and dismay.

As I began to empathise with my son’s mental health condition, I came to realise that we were living in Parallel Worlds:

Parallel worlds of exhaustion,
of mind, body and spirit,
loss of control, freedom and choice,
shared experience of anxiety, uncertainty and deep distress.

As his condition began to improve through medication, I was able to experience some relief (together with mixed emotions) – expressed in the poem, Light at the End of the Tunnel:

Grateful for the care,
concern for the future,
admiring resilience,
trusting intention.

Relief floods in as aggression abates,
freedom, control and choice partially restored,
regret and shame emerge,
revisiting trust and faith.

New insight into “elevated”,
shedding psychosis,
re-emergence of sensitivity,
growing self-awareness.

Mixed emotions –
trust, patience and tolerance restored,
pain and hurt linger beneath,
still unease remains.

A way forward emerges,
light appears at the end of the tunnel,
faith and hope abide,
welcoming home what was lost.

My response to Jennfer’s writing prompts

I chose to write to the second of the writing prompts provided by Jennifer (listed above), so I wrote A Letter to My Son:

You are in pain and lost in your world.
I see you emerging out of the darkness of a deep tunnel.
We have been in parallel worlds.
Hurt and distrust lie within.

I look for the thoughtfulness and sensitivity that is the real you.
I treasure the times when you showed me love and concern.
I savour your presence, personality and power,
your insight, kindness and intelligence.

Reflection

At the end of the Meetup session, after we had shared our writing with other members of the group, Jennifer suggested that we write a short process journal entry. The aim here is to identify what the session brought up for us in terms of insight and feelings. It surfaced for me, my love for my son despite the hurt, pain and resentment. It helped me to deal with my nervousness by focusing on what I truly value and savour in my son who is very likeable and loving.

I felt especially grateful to Jennifer for introducing us to the poetry of Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. Writing poetry during this family crisis was an important anchor for me as everything around me was in freefall. I had read the introduction to Rosemerry’s book, Exploring Poetry of Presence 11: Prompts to Deepen Your Writing Practice, and started writing poems frequently, rather than as a one-off exercise.

In a previous Meetup, Jennifer reinforced the added value of sharing our writing by reading our poem/prose to others in the group. Jo, a participant, reinforced this idea by commenting to me, “I felt calm just listening to you”. I have subsequently listened to a number of interviews with Rosemerry about her anthologies of poems. In an interview about her new anthology, The Unfolding, she states that she really loves doing poetry reading around the world and conducting classes where “we read poems and talk about them”. Rosemerry maintains that she finds this process “ecstatic”, “Juicy“ and yummy” because “we all translate it [the poem] through the lens of our own experience”. There are times that Rosemerry is “shocked” or experiences “utter admiration” for the different translations of a poem that people bring to the conversation.

Writing poetry can help us to grow in mindfulness because it makes us more present to what is, develops insight into our inner world and encourages us to value and appreciate our outer world, its beauty and awe-inspiring nature.

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Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Poetry as Mindfulness

In the previous blog post, I discussed the mindfulness practices that Mary Fowler, international soccer star, uses to grow her resilience, support her mental health and develop calm and happiness. What I did not include in these discussions is the poetry that Mary writes and incorporates in the chapters of her memoir, Bloom: Creating a life I love.

Poetry can be a rich source of mindfulness, both when reading poems or writing them. Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, author of Exploring Poetry of Presence 11: Prompts to Deepen Your Writing Practice, explains how writing poetry can be a mindfulness practice. Her book provides not only a guide to reading Poetry of Presence 11- More Mindfulness Poems, but also a stimulus to our own poetry writing. To achieve guidance for reading the focal book, Rosemerry draws on every poem in the book and uses them and other poems to stimulate our own writing of poetry.

Rosemerry co-hosts the podcast Emerging Form that discusses how to develop the creative process and provides examples. Her poetry is published widely and her anthologies include Hush (a winner of the Halcyon Prize), Naked for Tea, and All the Honey. She has written a poem daily since 2006 and these can be accessed by subscribing to her mailing list and/or by reading her blog, A Hundred Falling Veils. Rosemerry also produces an audio daily, The Poetic Path, which she describes as “an immersive daily experience of poetry and reflection”.

Writing poems as a mindfulness practice

Writing poems develops our capacity to be in the present moment, to be open to the richness of our daily experience and to engage more consciously with others and the world at large. Writing cultivates curiosity and acceptance of what is. It enables us “to show up in the moment”, if we arrive daily with a pen in our hand or a digital device for capturing our thoughts, observations and reflections in-the-moment.

Writing poems changes the way we engage with others, ourselves and our daily environment. It makes us more aware of, and open to, both our external and internal worlds and helps us to achieve an integration between them. When we are seeking to write poetry, we are on the lookout for inspiration and are more conscious of what is going on in our life, in our body and in our mind – it makes us so much more grounded in the reality of our everyday life.

Rosemerry maintains that we should not seek to write “good” poetry according to external standards or those of other people. She argues that this only taps into our negative self-thoughts and cultivates a mindset of criticism and can lead us to get stuck or frustrated. For her, this self-criticism is the opposite of being mindful – it is not accepting what is and how our writing reflects the vicissitudes of our daily life and our natural responses to how we experience our reality. She encourages us to write from our own truth – what is true for us in this moment of writing.

The outcomes of writing poems as a mindfulness practice

Rosemerry draws on her own poem-writing experience to provide a “caveat” for the readers of her book. She counsels us to be aware that not only will our writing change but a lot of other things in our life will change too in unpredictable ways. She explains that using writing as a mindfulness practice has made her more open to life, softened her perspective on many things and enabled her to be “more willing to be vulnerable”.

She found that through her poetry writing she became more honest and trusting. A key outcome of this mindfulness practice was her ability to meet “great loss”, in particular, when her son took his own life. Rosemerry contends that the mindfulness practice of writing poetry really matters when we are faced with “trauma, loss, fear and woundedness”. In her anthology of poems titled The Unfolding, written after the deaths of her son and father, she shares her aching heart while savouring beauty and wonder. Her poems in this collection convey contrasting states such as playful and sombre. They express a life lived fully, consciously and openly.

Despite her grief over her son’s death, Rosemerry experienced an ever-increasing capacity and desire to be open to the richness of life. In the process, she was able to love and connect even amidst “the tough stuff”. She attributes the mindfulness practice of writing poetry to her ability to avoid “shutting down” in the face of extraordinary pain. Having established a “practice of presence”, she was able to show up each day. Her daily stimulus for writing was a set of questions such as, (1) “What is here?” and (2) “What is true right now?”. We could add for our own writing practice the question, “How do I want to show up today?”.

Rosemerry contends that gaining these mindfulness outcomes does not depend on our talent, wisdom or skill level – all that is required is to “show up with a blank piece of paper and a pen”. She maintains that using other people’s poems as a guide can help us to write as well as drawing on the writing prompts she provides in her book or other books such as Exploring Poetry of Presence: A Companion Guide by Gloria Heffernan.

Writing prompts for poems

Throughout her book, Rosemerry provides a series of writing prompts to enable us to write our own poems if we need an external stimulus. Sometimes poems just come to us, catalyzed by significant events in our lives. The writing prompts she offers are an invitation to write our own poems and are an excellent stimulus for self-expression. An example of the prompts she provides includes the following prompt:

Paying attention – the challenge to be in the present moment, noticing the world around us and within us. We can view the world (and our writing) through our senses – sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. Consciously noticing our outer world can lead to cognisance of our inner world – our thoughts, our feelings, our sense of wonder and awe. Rosemerry claims that writing poems mindfully can “build a bridge between these two worlds” – our outer and inner reality.

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, meditation teacher and practitioner, paying attention is central to mindfulness and enables openness, curiosity and self-awareness (particularly of our negative self-talk). Rosemerry suggests that an easy way to start to pay attention and write is to create a list, e.g. of “what could be”, “what I sense in the moment” or “what I find interesting about the world”. She maintains that by “naming things outside the body” we are led to a “revelation inside the body”.

Reflection

I have found that writing a reflective poem has helped me to manage my frustration and pain associated with chronic illnesses. Writing poetry enables me to take a different perspective, explore the consequences of my own actions and often acts as a “bridge to action” when I am faced with inertia.

Writing poems has been particularly helpful for me to stay grounded during a recent family crisis where violence and injury, destruction and dissolution, were very real. Mindfulness heightened by poetry writing enabled me to reflect on what was occurring, explore alternatives and be conscious of my whole-body stress.

As we grow in mindfulness by poetry writing, we can tap into the power of being present, enhance our creativity and build our resilience in the face of “the tough stuff”. We can also develop self-care strategies that enable us to withstand the ever-occurring forces of overwhelm.

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Image by Janusz Walczak from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.