Memoir-Writing for Healing

Janelle Hardy, writer and somatic healer, recently produced and hosted the Healing Through Writing Festival with multiple facilitators who themselves are writers and healers.   Janelle is the creator of the course, The Art of Personal Mythmaking: Write Your Memoir While Healing Yourself, which is designed as a self-directed approach to healing while writing the first draft of a memoir. 

The 13-module course includes writing prompts, somatic visualisations and other techniques, and a process for outlining your storytelling.   In developing the course, Janelle drew on her training and consulting experience in bodywork and somatic approaches to trauma healing.  Her techniques and tools enable course participants to gain “clarity, focus and structure” as they write to heal.

Janelle also offers a 9-module, self-directed course, Write Your Life Stories, Heal Your Past, which is also designed to help us heal from our difficult experiences while working on a memoir.  This self-paced memoir-writing course incorporates somatic healing techniques as well as guidance for choosing forms of storytelling, assistance in outlining a memoir, ways to overcome writer’s block and tips about the writing and editing process.  The course is designed to help us deal with our difficult life experiences through writing without becoming overwhelmed.

Writing prompts and the road to healing

Throughout her Festival presentation, Janelle offered several writing prompts designed to elicit recall and identify elements of our life story.   The prompts covered both challenging and rewarding experiences, bodily sensations and personal insight.  I found the prompts particularly fruitful for “loosening the cobwebs”. 

By way of illustration, Janelle shared her own story of chronic fatigue and her acute shyness. She would often experience a “frozen state”  and become “stuck”, with her creativity blocked. After a relationship breakup, she had to deal with her role of a single parent and, at the same time, cope with her negative self-stories.  She sought healing through multiple modalities including somatic experiencing, dance, writing and research and experience of different cultures.

Janelle highlighted the fact that we store and release stories in our bodies.  This is in line with the research and writing of Bessel Van Der Kolk who published the book, The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma.  Janelle introduced a basic somatic exercise during her presentation that involved listening to sounds, touching, stretching and feeling bodily sensations.  She incorporates somatic practices in her courses because she firmly believes that we can reclaim ourselves through our “bodies, stories and desires”.   Janelle described dance as an “embodied language” and found that it helped to reduce her stiffness, tightness, stress and related feelings.

Janelle explained too that we understand the world through cultures.  To really appreciate this idea, she became an exchange student and undertook home stays in Japan, Russia and Canada.  Given the pervasive nature of cultural influences, a useful writing prompt could be, “What influence has your cultural upbringing had on your own life story and how you perceive yourself?” 

I recently gained an insight into the influence of cultural experiences on our self-stories and how we perceive ourselves by reading the novel Runaways, a memoir by Shelley Davidow and Shaimaa Khalil.  The joint memoir tells the story of their 20-year friendship across cultures after meeting at the University of Qatar where Shaimaa was one of Shelley’s students. 

Not only were they “strangers in a strange land”, but also they brought to their relationship and self-stories the influence of their different cultural upbringings – Shelley was an Ashkenazi Jew from South Africa (with its entrenched racial tensions) and Shaimaa was an Arab Muslim from Egypt (with its class tensions).  Their memoir shows the intertwining of different cultures on the stories they shared and how their story was influenced by their life in Qatar. 

Shelley and Shaimaa explain what shaped them, broke them and the ways they returned to “wholeness”.  At different times in their shared storytelling they communicated their individual experiences and reactions in the form of a reflective poem

Janelle offers a series of writing prompts which are available from her website by subscribing to her newsletter: 10 Memoir-Writing Prompts for Healing and Transformation.  Her blog, which contains interviews with creative writers, essays on writing and reviews of websites, is a potentially fertile ground for other prompts.

Creating a theme for a memoir

The process of writing to story prompts enables us to discern various themes, common threads, in our life story.  We can then choose a theme to shape our memoir – exploring which stories in our life serve the theme.  Janelle explained that the selected theme then becomes a “tool for discernment” – assisting us to decide what stories to include and what to exclude.   We can potentially use the discarded stories as the basis for another memoir. 

This process of choosing a theme reminds me of my process in writing my doctoral thesis – the data collected could have been the basis for several different theses but I had to decide what was my central “claim to knowledge” and what data I could include to warrant that claim.  This involved then deciding what elements supported the core thesis and should be included and what should be left out.  I created a folder to store the other ideas and concepts for perusing at a later date.  When I submitted my thesis, I revisited my folder and produced a number of articles including one on the art of thesis writing as a movement through the Seven Chakras, from the Base Chakra to the Crown Chakra – a reflection on my thesis writing journey.  The thesis also incorporated my reflections on my role as a change manager within the Taxation Office – a potential theme for a memoir.

Janelle noted that memoir writers often write more than one memoir as they have several themes running through their lives.  The Australian author Shelley Davidow, for example, wrote  4 memoirs – Runaways (2022), Shadow Sisters (2018), Fail Brilliantly (2017) and Whisperings in the Blood (2016).

Janelle explained that a memoir becomes a meaning-making force that enhances agency and autonomy.  She shared her story of heartbreak and challenge that left her feeling abandoned and hurt.  Through writing, social support and somatic healing she was able to reframe her story from that of victim to someone with skills, choice-points and the opportunity for further personal development through self-employment.  She rewrote her story by “piecing together somatic healing and memoir-writing as an act of service” that enables people to avoid the disempowerment of a victim mentality and experience agency through creating a new self-story in the form of a memoir.

In her podcast, Janelle talks to storytellers and memoir writers along with healers.  The transformative conversations cover not only memoir-writing but also healing, narrative therapy and embodiment.  Through the podcast, storytellers share how they have moved from victimhood to personal freedom and agency. 

Reflection

Janelle has used her blog as a source of “personal mythmaking” by reflecting on her own life experiences as she shared insights on topics related to writing and healing.  Her essay and audio on “How to Shift Resistance” is a good example. 

I have found that in writing this current blog, I have been able to share my personal reflections on the topics I was writing about.  In the process I have been sharing my life story.  In reviewing the 775 posts I have published to date, I have been able to identify several core themes that would serve as the focus of separate memoirs.  I have now chosen one focal theme and begun writing my first memoir using the Kindle Create program as my writing and formatting process.

As we grow in mindfulness through somatic practices, reflection, blogging and memoir-writing, we can increase our self-awareness and sense of agency and reframe our life stories.

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Image by Firmbee from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)      

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Accessing the Genius of Anxiety for Improved Mental Health

Karla McLaren discussed embracing anxiety in a podcast interview with Tami Simon of Sounds True when having a conversation about Making Friends with Anxiety … And All Your Other Emotions.   Karla was able to draw on her own life experience and her recent book, Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion.   She has spent a lifetime researching and writing about emotions.

In a previous post, I explored Karla’s concept of emotions as storing energy and providing a message and wisdom.  I also discussed effective ways to draw on the energy and wisdom of emotions.  Karla emphasised the importance of not attributing the characteristics of “good” or “bad” to emotions, including difficult emotions.  In her view there are real lessons and ways to move forward hidden in each emotion, even anxiety.

Trauma and anxiety

Karla herself experienced childhood trauma and many of her insights are drawn from her experience in overcoming the associated anxiety and depression.  Like other people who have been traumatised, Karla has had to deal with anxiety and depression throughout her life.  She found that she was ignorant about these emotions and tended to repress or suppress them.   However, through reading and research she has been able to develop practical approaches to addressing anxiety and depression.  She has learned to befriend these emotions and now views depression as enforced slowing down and redirection and has developed the ability to draw on the “genius of anxiety”.

The genius of anxiety

In her interview with Elizabeth Markle on embracing anxiety, Karla emphasised that anxiety is “an essential source of foresight, intuition, and energy for completing your tasks and projects”.  As with any emotion we have a choice – we can suppress, repress or “over-express” anxiety or, alternatively, listen to the message and wisdom that lies within this emotion.  We need to understand that emotion is a process – trigger, experience, response – we have a choice in how we respond to what triggers us and the feelings we experience as a result.

Karla suggests that the appropriate response to situational anxiety is to channel the energy of the emotion towards completing a task or project – much as a canal channels water.  Repression or suppression of anxiety blocks the energy flow, while over-expressing anxiety through panicked or frantic activity can dissipate the energy rather than direct it.  A starting point for channelling the energy of anxiety is “conscious questioning” – e.g. “What brought on this feeling?” and “What truly needs to get done?”   This approach enables you to work with, rather than against, the energy of anxiety and to simultaneously care for yourself by downregulating the impact of the emotion on your thoughts and feelings. 

Karla continued her discussion of “conscious questioning” for anxiety by referring to a sample of other questions featured in her book, Embracing Anxiety (p.85):

  • what are your strengths and resources?
  • are there any upcoming deadlines?
  • have you achieved or completed something similar in the past?
  • can you delegate any tasks or ask for help?
  • what is one small task you can complete tonight or today?

Karla argues that this approach involves “leaning into anxiety”, not artificially calming yourself.  She also alludes to the research that demonstrates that accurate naming of our emotions and identifying the level of intensity of them is another effective form of downregulating emotions.  To this end she encourages us to develop our emotion vocabulary and offers her blog as a starting point for emotion identification.  In her book she offers ways of describing different levels of emotional intensity, for example, low anxiety is described as apprehensive, mild anxiety as edgy or nervous and intense anxiety as overwrought or super-energised.

Karla suggests too that yoga and mindfulness are effective ways of downregulating that can assist the process of conscious questioning.  She offered very brief meditation to illustrate this calming effect.  The meditation basically involved focusing on the quietest sound in the room.  Karla provides a range of practices for each emotion in her book,

Different anxiety orientations: planner vs procrastinator

Karla drew on the work of Mary Lamia, author of What Motivates Getting Things Done: Procrastination, Emotions, and Success, to differentiate between two main manifestations of anxiety – planning anxiety and procrastination anxiety.  The planner maintains a low level of anxiety continuously and has a task “to-do” list(s) to manage their anxiety about getting things done.  The procrastinator, on the other hand, does not make lists but works to deadlines and has an immense burst of anxiety and energy the night before a deadline is due (and often achieves the task in the early or late hours of the morning).  The procrastinator can “chill out” while waiting for the deadline, the task person has difficulty “chilling”.

Mary points out that what is different in the two approaches to task achievement has to do with “when their emotions are activated and what activates them”.  The procrastinator, for example, is motivated by the imminent deadline and experiences “deadline energy”; the planner is motivated by the need to keep task commitments under control.   Understanding the difference between these two sources of motivating anxiety and your personal preference in how to get things done, can reduce conflict in a relationship and support success where partners have a different orientation.   Maria discusses the potential clash in orientation between procrastinators and non-procrastinators in her Psychology Today blog.

Reflection

Mindfulness practices along with conscious questioning and reflection can help us to focus the emotional energy of anxiety.  As we grow in mindfulness, we can better identify our emotions, understand what motivates others and increase our response ability

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Image by Lars Eriksson from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

How to Maintain Your Blogging Momentum

Darren Rowse recently published a blog post titled, How to Rekindle Your Blogging Enthusiasm, in which he provided several ways to reenergise your blogging and regain your momentum.  Darren is eminently equipped to offer advice to bloggers having started a personal blog in 2002, a professional blog for bloggers called Problogger in 2004 and a very profitable blog on digital photography in 2006.  Darren also provides an extensive podcast archive on blogging, a book titled Problogger (for those who want a career in blogging or to earn extra income from their blogging efforts), and a course on how to develop a profitable blogging business titled 31 Days to Build a Better Blog.

Maintaining your blogging momentum

Darren’s suggestions on how to rekindle your blog when your enthusiasm and/or energy wanes are very practical and relatively easy to implement.  However, they will often involve changing habits (including avoidance) that have grown up over time (in some cases, over many years).  Here are his suggestions:

  • Take time off from writing your blog – sometimes we go stale and lose enthusiasm.  A break can rekindle enthusiasm, develop insight into new ways to approach your blog and provide the opportunity to regain momentum.  The break from blogging could involve taking a vacation in a different environment; doing research for your blog content; undertaking a course on blogging or attending a conference on your content area; developing a blogging calendar; or doing some speed writing/brain dump around several topic areas.  Ash Barty, current World Number 1 tennis player, took a year off from tennis and played cricket instead – this enabled her to regain her enthusiasm and accelerated her tennis career to the top.
  • Revisit why you are writing your blog – to tap into your motivation and energy source.  Over time, we can easily lose sight of what motivated us to write our blog in the first place.  I found this strategy of reconnecting with my purpose a very useful and sustaining approach. To this end, I recently revisited the benefits of writing my blog on mindfulness in a blog post. In that post, I also explained the benefits of changing my blogging frequency from daily to three or four times a week – something that I did on the advice of my mentor (and another strategy that Darren recommends).
  • Check the alignment of your blogging focus and approach with your overall goals – this includes ensuring that you are in the right content area (in terms of personal interest, potential audience and growth potential) and that your language, target audience and topic choice align with your fundamental purpose in writing.  I have found that mindfulness as a topic choice for my blog assists my personal and professional development, enables me to keep abreast of the latest neuroscience findings, stimulates my thinking and engages me in a growth area (with endless articles and video resources and applications in multiple arenas such as mental health, education, leadership, workplaces and community development).
  • Overcome pride and seek help – there are numerous resources available such as Problogger and Yaro Starak’s blog and his engaging podcast interviews as well as related social media groups.  Darren also offers ways to find writers to assist with the challenge of writing your blog on a regular basis.

Reflection

Sometimes we do things that naturally rekindle our enthusiasm for blogging (such as participating in webinars or online conferences).  At other times, the drain on our momentum is too much because of other commitments that consume our energy and creative capacity – these are times when we could seek and heed the advice of professional bloggers such as Darren and Yaro.  As we grow in mindfulness, we can become more aware of our thoughts and feelings that may be impeding our progress in writing, identify creative solutions and regain our alignment, enthusiasm and momentum.

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Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Sustaining the Momentum of Writing Your Blog

When I set out to write my blog on mindfulness, I intended to publish daily. I was able to maintain this for 3 months.  However, the cost in terms of the impact on my other work and family life was increasingly high.  When I explained to my friend and mentor, Bob Dick, that daily publishing was becoming onerous, he suggested that I aim to publish only three or four times a week.  He indicated that this would not affect my Google search results – and this has proven correct.

Publishing three or four times a week has freed me up to do other things, including my workshops, and enabled me to develop a pattern of research and writing that seems to work for me.  So, on the alternate days when I am not publishing, I identify a topic to write about and do the requisite research.  I am often able to create a first draft from this research so that when the publishing day arrives, I have a topic and some ideas recorded as an early draft.  I have also established the practice of doing my research and writing at a set time, usually early in the morning before I become embroiled in other commitments.

This process has enabled me to sustain my blog writing, freed up time for other things, and facilitated my own meditation practice.  For example, I am often able to undertake a meditation practice before I write it up or explain its nature and effectiveness.  The downside of my current schedule is that the regularity of the blog writing has impacted my practice of Tai Chi which I used to do daily.  The solution may be to undertake the Tai Chi on alternate days also.

What I find that really helps me to sustain my motivation and effort in writing the blog, is to spell out what the benefits of my writing are for my readers and myself.

Being clear about the benefits of writing your blog

My intention in writing the blog is to provide the following benefits to readers of my blog and acknowledged mindfulness practitioners:

  • Raise awareness of the resources on mindfulness (free and paid) that are available
  • Provide inspiration and hope through the stories of those who have successfully overcome life challenges and difficulties
  • Offer mindfulness practices that can help to ease the pain and suffering of depression, anxiety, chronic pain and other challenging life situations
  • Provide resources to help people deal with difficult emotions such as resentment and anger
  • Help more people to become aware of the benefits of mindfulness
  • Assist in the promotion and development of mindful leadership
  • Promote the writing, work and practice of genuine mindfulness practitioners
  • Share the relevant findings from the latest neuroscience research.

The benefits for me in writing this blog on mindfulness are:

  • Enables me to access and practice different meditations and mindfulness techniques
  • Keeps mindfulness at the forefront of my mind and thus facilitates my ability to integrate mindfulness into my daily life and work
  • Provides me with the desire and energy to do the research to identify resources, key people and the latest neuroscience developments
  • Keeps my mind active now that I no longer undertake my academic work and associated activities such as examining doctoral theses
  • Provides some structure to my life in a period of semi-retirement when I have lost the structure of daily work
  • Realises the advice of Jeri Sedlar and Rick Miners, “Don’t Retire, Rewire” – which is designed to maintain mental health and facilitate longevity
  • Provides content and mindfulness practices for my manager development workshops which now include a session on mindfulness
  • Provides the knowledge and motivation to develop other activities associated with helping people to develop mindfulness, such as podcasts and online conferences
  • Provides me with the opportunity to engage in meaningful work (rather than consuming all my time in front of the television)
  • Develops “deep focus” – the capacity to stay on task for lengthy periods without being diverted by enticements such as social media, email or desktop clutter
  • Enables me to tap into the benefits of mindfulness practice itself – e.g. clarity, calm, managing difficult emotions, self-awareness, self-regulation and creativity.

When you are clear about the benefits of your blog writing for yourself and others, the writing task becomes more enjoyable, achievable and rewarding.  In many ways, the more you write, the easier it becomes (although writer’s block can still occur on your off days).

We can grow in mindfulness if we bring clarity of intention and purpose to our writing through articulating the benefits of our writing for others and ourselves.  Establishing a sustainable schedule builds self-awareness (re procrastination and  avoidance behaviours) and develops the self-regulation that comes from a disciplined approach.  If we can employ mindfulness practices to support our writing, we can gain focus, clarity, insight and creativity.

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Image by meminsito from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.