Jon Kabat-Zinn, in discussing sensory awareness as an aspect of mindfulness, asks the question, “Who is in the Shower With You?”
He makes the point that our minds are always wandering – even when we are in the shower. We could be thinking of a conflict with someone at work, a criticism from the boss or poor performance by a colleague. In consequence, we are not attending to the physical sensation of the water on our skin – we are someplace else, basically at work.
Jon Kabat-Zinn suggests that sometimes our whole work team is in the shower with us as we reflect on a meeting while showering – who said what about what issue, what conflicts arose, what we are committed to do in the future, what changes are coming up.
He argues that we cannot access the healing power of mindfulness, if we are not present and fail to be aware of our sensory perceptions – the major theme of his book, Coming to Our Senses.
In the following video, Kabat-Zinn discusses other ways that we can become aware of our surrounds and our senses. He maintains that to grow in mindfulness and access the healing power it generates, we need to come to our senses, both literally and metaphorically.
When we arrive at a meeting, our thoughts are often elsewhere rather than in the room – with the unfinished task we have just left, the things that we have to do, the work that will not get done as a result of the meeting.
So we do not have a meeting of minds, because the minds of people “present” are elsewhere – we have a physical collection of people. People are not present in the sense that their attention is not fully on the meeting, its purpose and goals.
What exacerbates this situation is that many people “at” the meeting are checking their phones for their latest emails or social media updates, doing their to-do lists or planning another activity. This multitasking in itself is both personally injurious (can cause inflammation of the brain) and contaminates the meeting (inattention spreads).
What some organisations are starting to do now is to begin their meetings with a short reflection time (5-10 minutes) so that people can become grounded and really present. Besides helping people to become focused on the meeting and its purpose, this reflection time reminds people why they are at the meeting and the need to attend to (pay attention to) what is going on.
At a recent mindfulness conference, a group of digital designers from a bank decided then and there that they would start their meetings with a ten minute reflection time. They realised the power of reflection to develop focus and release creativity.
If you do build in time for reflection at the start of a meeting you will experience a heightened level of focused energy and strengthening of team spirit. You will also be more productive as a team. Residual resentments about missed opportunities will be less likely to contaminate the meeting process.
Starting your meetings with time for reflection also helps your team to grow in mindfulness and focused attention so that the benefits flow beyond the meeting.
To grow in mindfulness, it is important to monitor the negative criticisms we direct to, or about, others. Negativity can become a mindset where we only look for, and consequently see, inadequacies in others. Before you realise it, your whole stance towards a person, or a group of people, can become negative – you become blind to their positive characteristics.
Negative criticisms can become contagious as you influence the mindset of the people you are speaking to. People love to hear negative comments about others – it helps to build their own self-image. This is particularly true of people who have low self-esteem.
There is some merit in the saying, “If you can’t say something positive about a person, don’t say anything.” If our communication is positive we can help build up others and create a constructive environment.
Clearly, there are times when you have to exercise discernment and identify a person’s strengths and weaknesses, and in some situations, communicate weaknesses. However, it is important to monitor our negative criticisms to see whether the communication of this “assessment” is desirable or necessary.
As the image for this post indicates, continuous negative criticism of other people sets up a vicious circle that is destructive and difficult to extricate yourself from without awareness of what is happening.
Monitoring our negative comments about others helps us to grow in awareness and mindfulness and gain a better insight into how our communications impact others.
Lower-belly breathing or deep belly breathing is a form of somatic meditation as it entails not only mindful breathing but also awareness of bodily sensations.
It involves conscious breathing through your lower-belly, being aware of both the in-breath (through the nose) and the out-breath through the mouth. You can place one hand on your lower-belly (below the navel) and the other on your diaphragm.
Now breathe into your lower-belly to a count of four, and exhale to a count of four, feeling the expulsion of breath through your diaphragm. You can complete a number of sets of this exercise and also combine it with holding your in-breath for a count of four and your exhalation for the same count.
This breathiing exercise can be done lying down or sitting up. It is often recommended that you start with lying down and progress to sitting up.
In the following video, Christina Macias discusses the benefits of deep belly breathing – a foundational breathing exercise, and takes you through the basic steps involved (beginning at 6.45 minutes).
Christina Macias stresses the importance of balancing deep belly breathing with other forms of breathing, including conscious expansion of your rib cage. Her instructional videos on her Facebook channel take you through the benefits and steps involved in each form of breathing exercise.
Lower-belly breathing is an easy way to grow mindfulness and increase your awareness – to take your awareness out of the stress-producing chatter in your head and grounding it in your body.
Linda Graham, in her book, Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being, defines resilience as:
the capacity to respond to pressures and tragedies quickly, adaptively and effectively.
Shawn Anchor and Michelle Gielan in a HBR article suggest that resilience is about “how you recharge, not how you endure”. They argue that the misconception about resilience and endurance has led to the exponential rise in the “workaholic” with devastating effects on health, productivity and family relationships.
I have worked in many organisations where management has stated that staff needs to become “more resilient” when the staff were not coping with excessive workloads and unrealistic time pressures. This perspective incorrectly equates resilience with endurance and potentially leads to burnout.
As Linda Graham notes, resilience is more about our capacity to “bounce back” from setbacks and this requires us to recharge our batteries on an ongoing basis. It also requires re-wiring our brains so that we overcome negative self perceptions and fear-inducing perceptions of daily occurences.
Neuroscience research has demonstrated that when we grow mindfulness and develop the capacity to be fully in the present moment, we can alter our brains and reshape our perecptions. In the process, we can build our resilience.
Andy Puddicombe argues that the present moment is so underrated and yet it shapes our life.
Jon Kabat-Zinn exhorts us to live as if our moments really mattered. He suggests that instead of worrying about the future which we can rarely influence, we should shape our future through the healing and creative power of the present moment.
Our lives are made up of moments. It is difficult to comprehend that our future is shaped by what we do in the present moment – our choices today shape our future tomorrow.
Jon Kabat-Zinn maintains that we grow mindfulness through paying attention in the present moment:
Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, but non-judgmentally.
In the following video, he talks extensively about the power of the present moment:
There are so many ways to BE in the present moment – somatic meditation is one of the more readily accessible mindfulness practices.
There are many things in life that can trigger a negative reaction in us. What triggers you, may have no effect on me. A part of mindfulness practice is getting to know our triggers and working out ways to manage our negative responses.
As we learn about our triggers and better understand them, we are able to manage our reponses more effectively. So one way to grow in mindfulness is to identify your triggers and use a process to help you deal with them mindfully.
The Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (SIYLI) teaches a way to manage triggers, called SBNRR, as part of their mindful leadership program. The steps in this process are as follows:
STOP – stop yourself from reacting automatically
BREATHE – take a deep breath to relax yourself and help you to manage your reaction
NOTICE – notice your bodily sensations, see what is going on in your body (e.g. becoming red faced, tightening of your muscles, strong sense of unease and agitation)
REFLECT – think about what is going on for you, what is triggering this reaction in you. Go beyond the words and think about what you are perceiving (e.g. are you interpreting the words as criticism and do you have a sensitivity to criticism?).
RESPOND – now that you are more aware of what is going on for you, choose an appropriate response that does not aggravate you, your friend/colleague or the situation.
The SBNRR processs is a great way to improve your self-management, a key element in emotional intelligence. When you first start to use this technique, you might have to rely on reflection after the event – “What could I have done differently?”
However, as you grow in mindfulness, you will be able to reflect-in-action and stop youself from the outset. In this way, you can better manage your response to the triggers that would normally set off a negative reaction in you.
Image Source: Courtesy of Robin Higgins on Pixabay
Somatic meditation involves grounding your meditation in your body and not in your mind. We spend so much time in our minds, thinking about the past and the future.
This form of meditation enables us to take advantage of the “natural wakefulness” of our own bodies and to really connect with the present moment.
Conscious breathing is central to somatic meditation and this can take many forms such as:
lower belly breathing
whole body breathing
Somatic meditation also incorporates awareness about sensations in your body that you can develop through practices such as posture alignment, massage, mindful walking and progressive relaxation.
Dr. Catherine Kerr, through her neuroscience research, has shown that mindfulness-based body awareness (developed through conscious breathing and awareness of body sensations) can actually change your mind.
She demonstrates how somatic meditation can overcome negative thoughts and reduce depression, stress and distress from chronic pain.
Sandra Hotz, through her Body Centred Psychotherapy, uses somatic meditation for healing trauma. Your many life experiences are not only stored in your mind but also in your body. Somatic meditation can help to release deep and painful memories that are locked up within your body.
Sandra offers personal counselling as well as a range of meditation classes and courses, including courses in somatic meditation.
Somatic meditation takes so little time and effort but its benefits are far-reaching. It will help you to achieve stillness and calm and to reduce the hectic pace of your life – it is one sure way to grow mindfulness.
Some environments are conducive to mindfulness because of their natural beauty. Stradbroke Island is one of these locations as the above image illustrates.
Stradbroke Island just off Cleveland in Moreton Bay has natural beauty, abundant bird life, large tracts of native trees and endless beaches. Whale viewing from Point Lookout is absorbing and causes you to marvel at the power and grace of these magnificent mammals.
Where else can you see Kangaroos grazing contentedly in the backyard or a Koala greeting you from a tree near the ferry terminal?
Nature is always here and now. Your breath, your senses, anything around you. When you are being aware of the life within you and around you, you are being mindful of this present moment, and it will always calm you down. You can not do nature, you can just be there. Being is calming.
Whether we are on Stradbroke Island or somewhere else in nature, we can readily experience mindfulness, calm the mind and release negative emotions. Open awareness when in nature can lead to inner awareness.
Chris James, internationally acclaimed singer, musician and voice teacher, believes that we all have a natural, beautiful voice. Having been a Buddhist monk, he is also very aware of the power of mindfulness and is firmly convinced that singing is a pathway to mindfulness. He teaches singing around the world at events large and small, as well as provides one-on-one coaching.
Chris reminds us that our bodies are a natural resonator and all we have to do is to relax and breathe naturally and we can learn to find our natural voice. Expression is so much a part of our daily lives – we talk to our family and friends, attend meetings, present information and interact with our colleagues at work.
Through singing we can learn to express ourselves truthfully – to get in touch with our real selves, our natural expression. In this way, we “find our voice” and open our hearts to beauty, nature and connectedness.
Unfortunately, we all have to manage the “chatter” in our heads – the negative thoughts that we tell ourselves about our ability to sing. Some of these originate within ourselves, others from our pareants, siblings or our friends who remind us that we cannot sing. We have to let go of this chatter and the “narrative” that constrains our thinking, our lives and our true potential.
Chris James believes, like Jon Kabat-Zinn, that we have to learn to get out of our heads, our endless cycle of thoughts, and learn to “inhabit our bodies”. When we become grounded in our bodies through voice, we are able to realise more of our potential and experience calm, clarity and creativity.
Over the past fifteen years, I have attended many singing workshops conducted by Chris James – ranging from half-day workshops to a two week residential in Lismore. I am continually amazed at what happens when people learn to be still, to “let go of what they are not” and to relax into their voice – what happens to the quality of their voice and the way they express themselves with new confidence and excitement is truly amazing.
You can see from the following YouTube video of Chris James leading a “Big Sing” in Byron Bay, that people start off singing very tentatively and as they relax, they begin to open their mouths and sing freely. The result is a beautiful natural choir of people, many of whom had never met each other before this event.
Chris James has developed a community choir in Lismore that anyone can join, singers and non-singers alike. There are no auditions and no set vocal parts. Choir members are encouraged to harmonise spontaneously at different times. The opportunity is there to find your own beautiful voice, to become grounded in your voice and grow in mindfulness in your expression.
