perspective – Grow Mindfulness

The Three A’s of Personal Freedom – Agency, Acceptance and Appreciation

Ben Crowe in his book, Where the Light Gets In: Simple, playful and profound perspective shifts to change your life, identifies the Three A’s as the source of living with confidence and happiness. He describes agency, acceptance and appreciation as the “Triple-A mindset muscles” that are foundational to “being human with freedom, clarity and enjoyment”. In this post, I will discuss agency and highlight it’s relationship to dealing with expectations and pressure.

Agency – power and control

Agency is the capacity to exercise control, choice or decision-making in a particular context. In a previous discussion, I highlighted the role of action learning in facilitating agency in the workplace both for employees and managers. While agency has a key role in our professional lives, it also impacts our personal life, whether we are talking about our relationships and/or sporting/recreational activities. It can also be very relevant to our longevity as we age.

Agency enables us to shape our lives and our environment and facilitates the release of creativity. We become “masters of our own destiny” in the sense that we take control of the controllables in our life, including how we respond to difficult circumstances such as chronic illness. We can control how we respond to our circumstances or adopt a victim mentality. Controlling our response leads to freedom, victimhood leads to a sense of powerlessness and inertia (“there is nothing I can do about my situation!”). When we see ourselves as a “victim” we “abdicate our responsibility for living”.

Ben draws inspiration about agency from the example of Viktor Frankl who survived Auschwitz and became a globally acknowledged author and psychiatrist when he wrote his landmark book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Ben specifically quotes a significant statement by Viktor Frankl where he maintains that, in the face of being stripped of everything (dignity, choice, decision-making, control), the last human freedom still remains – “to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”. Ben points out that both Nelson Mandala and Viktor Frankl exercised internal freedom despite the loss of their external freedom through imprisonment.

Matt Mauser, who lost his wife Christina in the same helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant, epitomises agency in “choosing one’s attitude”. In subsequently singing on AGT, he stated that he wanted to perform to teach his three young children that “grief is not going to define who we are as a family” and that “you have to find joy in life and just continue”.

Projection – reducing agency

Ben Crowe points out that “choosing our own path” entails risk and opens us up to the prospect of “failure”, criticism, and even ridicule. We can recall, for example, the personal cost for singers and artists who chose in their early years to defy their parents’ wishes for their career and instead pursued, at considerable emotional cost, what they considered to be their own “life purpose”.

Ben maintains that parents often project onto their children their desire to satisfy their own unfulfilled dreams. This projection can conflict with the child’s own career goals and aspirations. Ben cites the example of Andre Agassi whose father insisted that he play tennis against Andre’s own desires at the time.

Projection reduces agency. Encouraging independence in children builds their capacity to make choices in line with their natural talents – it builds the child’s decision-making muscle. This freedom to choose and pursue their own path gives them “personal agency”.

Intuition and agency

Intuition is wisdom born of experience, reflection and subconscious processing, and insights gained through writing. Agency, then, is the willingness and capacity to act on “intuitive judgments”. Sometimes, agency can also involve the decision to not act on our intuition when it’s the result of bias, fear, or inadequate information about the context or the people involved. However, when we can truly rely on our intuition and bring it into alignment with agency, we can move forward and “trust our gut”.

The reflective capacity of introverts, and their ability to slow down and be still, builds their insights, intuition and agency. David Lynch (famous filmmaker, artist, Director, photographer and musician) maintained that creative ideas come from within and are stimulated by stillness and silence and the act of reflection which enables access to the “infinite dynamism” within us.

Susan Cain, in her book, Quiet, lauds the intuition of introverts who strive to exercise agency in a world dominated by extroverts. She points out that social constraints and external validation of extroverts negatively impacts the freedom of introverts to share their insights, thus limiting their agency in a world that desperately needs their incisive thinking and decision-making. She argues for empowering introverts, helping them to exercise agency “in a world that can’t stop talking”.

Reflection

I’m older than the great majority of pickleball players and opponents express surprise when I retrieve balls or play shots that much younger players are not able to do (especially spins). Ageism is rife and sometimes I feel the need to prove that age does not define competence. As a result I occasionally up the ante to prove my competence as I did recently playing a person who had played more than 1,000 pickleball games ( I have only played 250 games). I noticed that the right-handed player had a weak backhand (they would stand in the very corner of the backhand court so that they could take the ball on their forehand). So I served very deep into the backhand corner of their court so that they were forced to play a backhand (actually they used their left hand to retrieve the ball and play an ineffectual shot).

When I reflect on my competitive response, I wonder whether I am being trapped by my own projection of the other player’s expectations of me. Am I giving up my freedom, my agency to play more socially than competitively, driven by the felt pressure to rectify an assumed expectation? I have nothing to prove but do I need to show that I can play better, when we are actually playing recreational (non-competitive), intermediate-level pickleball? It seems that our own expectations of personal competence, as well as our assumptions re other’s expectations, can limit our decision-making and choices, thus reducing our agency in the situation.

As we grow in mindfulness through the stillness and silence of reflection, we can enhance our self-awareness and unearth our assumptions and projections. In the process, we can develop our intuition and facilitate our agency in our personal and professional lives.

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Image by Ahmet Yüksek from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Play to Drive Out Fear

Ben Crowe, author of Where the Light Gets In: Simple, playful and profound perspective shifts to change your life, suggests that our modern world is driven by pressure and fear. Pressure comes from multiple sources including expectations (our own and other’s), relentless marketing, unhealthy comparisons (e.g. body image, financial position, status), the speed of life and the pervasiveness of social media. Fear arising from these numerous pressures can induce a sense of helplessness, inertia and a loss of creativity. Hugh van Cuylenburg points out that “fear of failure” can lead to all kinds of emotional and physical symptoms, including panic attacks.

Ben, like many other authors, contends that freedom is the opposite of pressure and expectation, while the real antidote to both pressure and fear is play. He acknowledges that “play” means different things to different people but there is a common element which he describes as “finding time and space for curiosity, creativity and experimentation to be here now”. He argues that there are three readily identified forms of play: (1) curiosity play, (2) spontaneous play and (3) nonsense play.

Curiosity Play

Ben explains that the essence of curiosity play is to ask the question, “What if? He gives several illustrations of this in action. The first relates to the arrangement between Michael Jordon and Nike to have a coloured basketball shoe in defiance of the NBA’s rules about uniform uniformity (wearing only predominantly white shoes). The colourful Nike’s Air Jordon 1 went on to be a fashion trend worldwide, worn by people of all walks of life (even priests and doctors). This “curiosity play” generated a huge sales boost for Nike and Michael Jordon got to wear his coloured basketball shoes.

Another example of “What if?” defiance of rules was that of Cathy Freeman wearing the Indigenous flag embroidered on the heel of her running shoes for the Atlanta Olympics (in defiance of IOC’s rule about “political statements” by Olympic athletes). Four years later at the Sydney Olympics she had both the Indigenous flag and Australian flag draped over her shoulders when she won the 400 metres Gold Medal. The IOC did not take action despite threats to do so in the event of a “political statement”.

Spontaneous Play

Spontaneous play is about possibilities – accessed by asking, “Why not?” It is very much about openness and curiosity in the present moment – exploring without judgment while noticing what is happening. This is akin to Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness. Ben describes spontaneous play as “being open to the universe, suspending judgment, entertaining possibilities, noticing more, and connecting the dots”.

Ben provides a number of interesting examples of spontaneous play including Nike’s founder, Bill Bowerman, designing the company’s first shoe based on noticing the waffle iron in the kitchen – a design that addressed the existing deficiency in running footwear, namely “the lack of traction”. Paul McCartney in his book, The Lyrics, stated that “one of the things about the Beatles is that we noticed accidents”. He maintained that even a vinyl record playing backwards could stimulate creative ideas that they acted on. According to Paul, the Beatles “always loved being sidetracked by these ideas”.

Nonsense Play

Nonsense play involves frivolity, fun and games. It often leads to raucous laughter. Ben suggests that nonsense play can release creativity as it is often used to “replace expectation with experimentation”. He cites the example of the Beatles and their Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album. At the height of their career, the Beatles were finding that the pressure of expectation was getting to them – they felt that they were continually expected to produce a new album that was better than their previous one (a constant drain on their enjoyment and creative energy). The Beatles developed the Sergeant Pepper’s Band album by treating the band name as an “alter ego” – an example of experimentation to reduce the pressure of expectation that resulted from their outstanding and rapid success. The album became one of their greatest achievements – all because of “nonsense play”. One song alone, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, has generated over 274 Million plays on Spotify at the time of writing this post.

Getting Into the Play State

Ben suggests that the easiest way to get into the play state is to recall one of our “earliest play memories”. When I thought about this, I remembered vividly playing with model trains with one of my older brothers. We would save our pocket money and progressively buy track, carriages, bridges, and engines. Then together we would set about building a model railway track weaving through trees, houses and shops. Through our joint purchases we were able to expand our track and our railway gear.

Ben takes this “play state” one step further when he maintains that hidden in play are a “quintet of emotions” that are only readily accessible through a “stream of consciousness” that comes from memory and imagination. When I tried to recall the emotions I experienced in model train play with my brother, I came up with emotions that resonated with Ben’s quintet – joyful, excited, lost in the moment, connected and loved. He argues that this playfulness is when we are authentic and truly human – “before fear, comparison with others, and wanting to fit in”.

I also recall going on extended push bike rides (around 40 kms) on weekends with a school friend. We would ride together along busy roads (often nearly blown off the road by passing semi-trailers). We were carefree, connected, playful and exhilarated. The play state releases uninhibited behaviour, a sense of freedom, empowerment and creativity.

Other early play memories that come to mind, as I write, relate to going to tennis coaching with my two brothers and fishing trips with my brothers and sister. Tennis coaching occurred each Saturday and Sunday morning and we would have an hilarious ride in my eldest brother’s car as we anticipated the joy of learning and playing tennis. Like Ash Barty, we had an arrangement with our tennis coach that, if we assisted with coaching younger players on the Saturday, we would have free coaching on the Sunday. In between, we were able to play tennis fixtures (competitions), so we effectively played tennis all weekend. Our coach had been previously selected as a member of the Australian Davis Cup team but had been unable to compete at that level after a motorbike accident (he taught himself to play double-handed for his forehand and backhand to offset weaknesses in his wrists after the accident).

The fishing trips with my brothers and sister were also an enormous source of fun, not only from the joy of fishing itself (at Pinkenba, Breakfast Creek, Brisbane River and Tewantin), but also the adventure of the ride to these favoured fishing spots. Invariably, my sister and I would ride pillion passenger on one of the Vespa motor scooters owned by our brothers. We would race trains and enjoy the freedom and freshness of the breeze as we travelled to and from our fishing spots.

Reflection

When I play pickleball I am able to draw on skills and strategies I developed playing tennis, squash and table tennis for many years. This prior experience and attendant body memory often enable me to play shots as a senior player (over 80 years old) that surprises my younger partners and opponents. The downside of this achievement is that it automatically produces a new set of expectations which were recently voiced by a pickleball partner who said, “Slay them Ron, like you usually do!” I can very easily fall into the trap of this new set of expectations which will work against my goals in playing recreational pickleball. The challenge is not to succumb to others’ expectations or to unconsciously create new expectations of myself. Expectations of others and our own expectations are anathema to freedom and play.

As I have stated before, because of my physical limitations, I don’t try to win every game but try to enjoy the process, experiment with new shots and learn through playing different people on different courts. One of the things that has attracted me to playing pickleball is the playfulness and fun experienced at the Intermediate Recreational Level. When I was an academic, Emeritus Professor David Limerick, who taught organisational learning and change, was very supportive of “play” and had even considered setting up a research centre on play. Apparently, Dr. Stuart Brown established the National Institute for Play to achieve similar goals to what David envisaged.

As we grow in mindfulness through practices such as mindful breathing, reflection, curiosity and natural awareness, we can become more aware of the influence of expectations on our behaviour and resolve to restore our natural, playful freedom. I was taken with Ben’s statement that play is when we are truly human. This statement inspired my Haiku poem below:

At Home

Natural at play,

joyful and spontaneous,

connected to self.

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Image by Fabio from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Perspective Shifts: From Darkness to Illumination

Ben Crowe, world leading mindset coach, has published his philosophy and perspective changing concepts in his book, Where The Light Gets In: Simple, playful and profound perspective shifts to change your life. Ben has worked with elite athletes such as Ash Barty and Andre Agassi as well as large corporations. While the principles espoused in his book are not new, what he does uniquely is to interlink the underlying concepts, highlight their interplay and illustrate them with stories of his experiences in working with clients to put them into practice. His book is illuminating – he even has a final chapter on “illumination” to summarise his principles.

Overcoming the pressure of expectations

Ben’s book is replete with wisdom and engaging stories that readers can readily relate to. He places special emphasis on the pressure generated by expectations – both our own and those of others (which we often assume to exist without any evidence). He counsels us to detach from expectations if we are to achieve freedom in our life. Besides recommending removal of the word “expectations” from our vocabulary, he offers three core strategies to achieve this detachment – replace expectations with (1) appreciation, (2) experimentation and (3) dedication.

Ben argues that appreciation reflected in gratitude is a “potent perspective shifter”. Gratitude creates awareness about what we do have and what is possible – it opens up insight into possible creative, alternative solutions and is a powerful antidote to the corrosive influence of expectations. I have often expressed gratitude when playing sport, instead of focusing on the chronic illnesses that negatively impact my quality of life and impede the realisation of my full sporting capabilities.
Ben encourages experimentation because when you experiment, “you are in the play state not the fear state”. We can build up expertise as we go. The process of experimentation enables us to fearlessly draw on prior knowledge and experience, even accessing experiences acquired in an entirely different arena. When I switched from playing tennis to pickleball, I made a conscious choice to experiment with new shots, drawing on knowledge and skills acquired through other racquet sports. So now I can use skills I have acquired over many years through playing tennis, squash, table tennis and badminton. I worked out recently that I can play more than 650 different shots (using any of my 7 spins across 6 basic strokes; using either forehand or backhand; left hand or right hand; and playing the ball down the backhand side, the forehand side, the middle of the court or cross-court). Recently I expressed my appreciation for this aspect of playing pickleball – “experimenting with new shots and ways to improve each time I play – a great source of learning!”
Ben strongly encourages employing dedication as a way to replace expectations, especially our own expectations. He suggests that this approach works because when you dedicate your performance to a person who has contributed to your knowledge and skill, “you let go of ego and fear because it’s no longer about you”. I have been avoiding the writing a book on action learning but now that I have decided to dedicate an e-book on the topic to my seriously ill co-author, Julie Cork, I have experienced a release of the fear that “it will not be good enough” and feel motivated to resume writing the book (currently in draft form).

The role of mindfulness in managing expectations

In his discussion of the pressure of expectations, Ben mentioned that the Richmond AFL club had engaged Emma Murray to conduct a mindfulness program for the club. He maintained that mindfulness can be a powerful tool to release the pressure of expectations, particularly if we can combine “accepting and letting go of the uncontrollable and focusing all our attention on controllables”.

Ben argued that what we can control is “intention, effort and mindset”. He suggests that the two major distractions we experience to draw us away from our focus on the controllables are The Double O’s – outcome expectations and others’ expectations. If we tie our self-worth to outcomes, we will be caught up in a sea of emotional disturbance and lose focus. Ben points out that we cannot control outcomes as there are too many variables impacting outcomes over which we have no control. He recommends adopting the mindset of one coach – “I don’t mind what happens”. I found this approach very freeing and energising in a recent game of pickleball (Intermediate Recreational level). Ben also points to some wise advice about outcomes expectations – “let go of winning or losing and let the game be your teacher”.

Phillip Moffitt argues that we can be enslaved by our expectations that can force a degree of rigidity in our life. We cannot control others’ expectations and often have limited control over outcomes. Yet expectations play heavily on our mind – expectations about parenting, managing, performing in sport, punctuality, and every aspect of our daily life. Phillip suggests that ways to free ourselves from the “tyranny of expectations”, and release our creativity, include “look for possibilities” rather than a predetermined result, “expect to stumble” and “live in the now”. Ben argues that it is about “human-being” not “human-doing” – a key mindset change developed through mindfulness.

Reflection

I found Ben Crowe’s book, Where The Light Gets In, highly relatable in multiple ways. So much of his philosophy and concepts resonate with me and many aspects of these have been the subject of my writing in this blog. The ups and downs of Richmond AFL football club and its key figures are central to a lot of Ben’s discussion and examples – I was born in East Melbourne, lived in Richmond until I was five years old and followed Richmond as a fan for many years.

Ben states that his understanding of the power of words and their impact on people’s lives was first achieved through his schooling at the Carmelite’s Whitefriars College in Donvale Victoria – I was a member of the Carmelite Order for five years and lived and studied for four years at the Whitefriars seminary located on the same property as the school.

Ben draws heavily on mindfulness and its power to shift our “inner landscape” – he places considerable emphasis on being present with “non-judgmental awareness of thoughts and emotions”. He explicitly alludes to the definition of mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn and references the work of George Mumford in bringing mindfulness to mainstream sport. Ben points out that as we grow in mindfulness through mindfulness practices such as mindful breathing, meditation and visualisation, we can achieve authenticity, focus, calmness, and confidence, and realise “the best version of ourself” no matter what our arena of activity is.

I had previously read Ash Barty’s memoir, My Dream Time: A Memoir of Tennis & Teamwork – A Grand Slam Champion’s Journey from Anxiety to World #1 and Joy. Through Ash’s story I had been exposed to Ben Crowe’s influence on her mindset and career. Throughout her book, Ash reiterates his fundamental philosophy and identifies how he helped her achieve her outstanding results. Ash’s story, in turn, has been a source of inspiration for me and my own sporting journey while experiencing multiple chronic illnesses.

In the epigraph to his book, Ben quotes the chorus from Leonard Cohen’s song, Anthem, which incorporates “ring the bells” and “how the light gets in”. Ben’s book resonates with me so strongly – it’s as if bells are ringing in my head like church bells ringing in the New Year. Ben argues that Illumination occurs when we come to understand that the things that we can control are our processes, our own expectations, our anchoring in the present, our intrinsic motivations and our response to our past and its impacts on our life. His “perspective shifts” reflect this focus on the “controllables” versus the “uncontrollables” – a strong underlying theme in this blog.

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Image by Tom from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

A Reflection on Writing the Grow Mindfulness Blog

This reflection was stimulated by Haruki Murakami’s book, Novelist As A Vocation, in which he shares his origins as a writer, his approach to writing and some of the challenges he has had to deal with along the way. The ideas he shares resonate strongly with my own experience of writing this blog, even though this is not a novel but a very different writing genre. The fact that the blog involves creativity and the art of writing provides the common ground to explore Murakami’s experience and ideas.

The creative stimulus

Murakami begins a novel with a basic story that evolves as he introduces his characters – he explains, “In most cases, the characters who appear in my novels naturally emerge from the flow of my story”. The stimulus for his story is something he has observed happening, specific behaviours of an individual or an incident in his own life. Like Charles Dickens, he is a keen observer of behaviour – he maintains that the stimulus for a story comes from glancing at a person’s appearance, “how they talk and act, their special characteristics”. He notes, too, that it is not enough just to notice people that you like – you also need to notice those you dislike and try to understand why you feel this way about them.

Like Murakami, my stimulus for a blog post is typically an interaction that I have had, a behaviour I have observed in my organisational consulting/manager development work, a current experience that I am having or something I have read or heard. I often draw inspiration for a blog post from listening to a podcast, reading an article, or participating in a Summit or Conference. I typically focus on current issues such as Long Covid, trauma, mental health and working from home – all the time exploring the linkages with mindfulness and mindfulness practices.

The role of characters/ stimulators

Interestingly, Murakami maintains that he does not start out with a highly developed character or group of characters. He contends that characters emerge as he begins to write and becomes captured by the creative process that he enjoys immensely. He goes so far as to say that “characters take on a life of their own”, even leading the novelist to an “unexpected destination”.

I can relate to these comments about characters by substituting the concept of the “stimulator” – the author, podcaster, interviewee or presenter who stimulates my creative endeavour to write a blog post about their ideas, actions or perspectives. As the blog post emerges through my writing, the line of discussion or argument can take an unexpected turn as I often start out without a firm idea of where a blog post will end up. For example, in my latest blog post I wrote about nurture by nature and stewardship of nature in our immediate environment and ended up where I least expected.

When I started out writing, these two aspects (nurture and stewardship) were discrete elements in my mind and that of the “stimulator”. However, as I progressed with writing the post, I decided to add the ideas of Costa Georgiadis from his book, Costa’s World, as a way of reinforcing the message of the reciprocal relationship with nature – nurture and stewardship. However, through Costa’s influence, I ended up changing my perspective and began to understand that by stewarding nature we are simultaneously opening ourselves up to nurturing by nature (e.g. restoration of peace and calm, stimulation of wonder and awe). I came to understand that nurture and stewardship are not necessarily discrete activities (although they may be in certain circumstances). Costa’s World is the bible for my current composting and gardening activities.

Drawing on stored memories

Murakami states that the characters he employs in his novel are not real people (and definitely not himself) but represent an amalgam of characters drawn from stored memories of people, experiences and places. He weaves elements of different people into any one character to give them life and meaning in the context of what he is writing about. He may draw directly on his own experience relevant to the topic but it is often well disguised.

When I write a blog post, I draw on my stored memory of what I have written previously (not just my current blog) and books/novels/memoirs I have read that reinforce some aspect of what I am writing about (or, alternatively that put forward a contrary view). The blog post then tends to take on a life of its own and can arrive at a different place to what I intended at the outset. Sometimes I will even incorporate poetry or songs (especially mantra meditations) if they add to, or reinforce, the overall message – there are many occasions, synchronistically, where a song I am listening to reinforces where I am up to in writing a blog post (I typically listen to mantra meditations as I write). Examples of this are Alexa Chellun’s Healing Song and Metamorphosis by Lulu & Mischka.

Criticism and compliments

Murakami discusses one lesson that he has learnt as a professional writer – no matter what he writes or how long it is, someone will criticise his work. He concluded that it was best to ignore these adverse comments and just “write what I want to write, in the way I want to write it”. I can concur in this view because there is no way that you can please everyone. This approach creates a unique sense of freedom (unlike the constrictions of academic writing!).

Murakami also noted that “people of different age groups” seem to be reading his novels – e.g. parents encourage children to read his books (or vice versa). Compliments from people acknowledge the difference that his writing has made in their lives and hearing these comments “really cheers him up”. I too really appreciate the compliment when people comment positively on my blog posts and/or seek a link to what they are working on that is relevant to the topic of my post.

Gestation and the creative process

Murakami adopts the discipline of daily writing because this enables creativity to flow. He also employs a daily fitness routine which includes running (and sometimes marathons) – he maintains that you have to be fit to write for extended periods and physical activity stimulates the brain.

Gestation for my blog posts begins with reading (e.g. Tina Turner’s book), listening to a podcast (e.g. Life Through Transitions by Jon DeWaal) or watching a video (e.g. the video interview with Susan Bolt). I usually take notes and record any connections with something else I have written or remember – this enables me to expand my thinking beyond the original stimulus (and the stimulator’s perspective). Typically, I will let my subconscious mind work on the topic overnight and begin afresh the next morning (being a “morning person”, I write best in the early mornings). I find that this gestation process usually leads to the emergence of a structure for my blog post and unearthing of connections that I had not previously thought of – these connections become “top-of-mind” rather than staying submerged. I also try to keep fit through walking, Tai Chi and physical exercises designed to redress my spinal degeneration.

Reflection

Murakami maintains that each person has to find their own style of writing, whether they are writing a novel, an essay or a short story. The same is true of writing a blog – the writer’s life experience and perspectives, as well as the focus of the blog, influence the nature and structure of the writing process.

As I reflect on my life and my reading/listening/viewing, I am able to grow in mindfulness. Like Murakami, I can attain a deeper level of self-awareness and new perspectives while enhancing my capacity to think and write. Examples of my growing sense of self-awareness include my discussion of resentment and blind spots.

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Image by Cindy Lever from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Guided Mindful Movement Meditation

Tom Heah, a highly accredited mindfulness teacher, provides a guided meditation podcast on mindful movement, his particular area of expertise. Tom was an Occupational Therapist in Vancouver Canada until 2021 when he switched to offering mindfulness training to the Vancouver Center which focused on mental health and substance abuse. Tom has conducted many mindfulness training courses, including Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Mindful Awareness Practices (MAPs). He offers free access to guided audio versions of mindfulness practices incorporated in these courses – they are available for streaming and/or download. His recent mindful movement meditation was offered as the last of the 2022 weekly, UCLA online meditations. From 12 January 2023, the weekly meditations will resume as in-person, face-to-face sessions at the Hammer Museum with live streaming. The guided meditations will continue to be available in audio podcast form after the resumption.

Tom discusses the nature of mindfulness in terms of focusing on the internal and external sensations of the present moment. He suggests that this involves openness, interest and curiosity about our current reality, both internal and external. By focusing on the present moment, we resist the natural urge to ruminate about the past (experiences, mistakes, losses) or to worry about the future. Tom maintains that cultivated present moment awareness enables us to show up in the various arenas of our lives.

Tom highlights the fact that despite the festivities of the Christmas season, many people will be experiencing sadness through loss, isolation, loneliness, illness or conflict with relatives. He observes that people often cannot sit still when they are stressed – so he focuses on mindful movement in his guided meditation.

Guided mindful movement meditation

From the outset of the mindful movement meditation, Tom stresses the need to stay within our own physical limits, engaging in the suggested movements only to the extent that they do not cause pain. The fundamental idea of mindful movement is to move parts of our body while breathing in a controlled way. The aim then is to focus on the bodily sensations experienced with each form of movement. Guided movements can be undertaken either standing or sitting, allowing for variations for the chosen posture.

In the guided movement meditation, Tom skilfully directs our movements while guiding our breathing – all the time reminding us not to stop breathing. Some of the movements involve raising both arms, moving our arms sideways and slowly moving the neck in a number of directions. It is important to follow the guidance provided so that we can remain focused on our bodily sensations, without thinking about the next step.

After completing the movement meditation, Tom guides us on a silent, still meditation where we can focus on an anchor of our choice to enable us to return to our focus when we become distracted by thinking or planning. The anchor could be our breathing, sounds that surround us or some form of bodily sensation such as our fingers touching.

Reflection

The guided meditation provided by Tom is one of the many meditations that involve mindful movement. Others include Tai Chi and Yoga. As we grow in mindfulness through mindful movement meditations, we can develop new perspectives on old problems, respond to triggers in a more skilful way and experience greater ease and restfulness. Our increased bodily awareness can help us to better access the wisdom of the body and develop openness to our intuition.

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Image by Moondance from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

On the Frontline During COVID – Self Caring for the Carers

Professor Cynda Hylton Rushton and Rheanna Hoffmann recently engaged in a moving video podcast conversation that highlighted the scars and distress of what it means to be a frontline nurse during the COVID pandemic. They covered not only the impact on nurses physical and mental health but also explored strategies that could be adopted by nurses to manage their distress. Cynda will be a key presenter at the free, online Healing Healthcare Summit in early February 2022.

Cynda is incredibly well-informed about nurses experiences during the pandemic, being a nurse herself and working with nurses to develop what she calls “moral resilience” – the ability of an individual to “restore or sustain” integrity in the face of the onslaught of challenges to their inner harmony and capacity to align their words and actions with their values and deep commitments.

Cynda, whose focus includes clinical ethics and contemplative practice, brings to the conversation penetrating insight and deep caring and compassion – characteristics that are manifested in her faculty work with the clinicians training program, Being with Dying. Cynda is the author of Moral Resilience: Transforming Moral Suffering in Healthcare.

Rheanna is an emergency nurse who is also a meditation practitioner and teacher with extensive experience in mindfulness and its benefits. During the worst of the pandemic in the US, she volunteered to work in New York City. Her personal recollections of this experience can be found in an interview where she shares an intimate insight into what happened for herself and others during the overwhelming crisis. Her presentation is part of the Mindful Healthcare Speaker Series which is readily available as a “resource for challenging times”.

In her discussion with Cynda, Rheanna provided an expose of her emergency nursing experience during COVID that is raw and vulnerable but manifests her openness and courage. I have previously reported on Rheanna’s interview about death and the dying process with Frank Ostaseski, Founder of the Zen Hospice Project. Rheanna herself is the Founder of The Whole Practitioner designed to help nurses “to rediscover health, balance and their core values” after experiencing burnout, exhaustion and deeply personal frustration.

The distress of frontline COVID nurses

Rheanna recounted in telling detail the nature and extent of distress experienced by COVID nurses, especially those who were engaged in emergency wards. She spoke emotively about the following experiences and sensations:

Reaching the limit of effectiveness of personal resources – whether that be yoga, friends or colleagues
Experiencing isolation and loneliness – tendency to withdraw physically and mentally to deal with the overwhelm
Feeling incredibly bare and vulnerable – the challenge of people dying and grief (that of relatives/friends and your own grief)
Physical exhaustion – tired beyond belief and suffering from lack of sleep, resulting from replaying adverse incidences
Feeling chronic hopelessness and helplessness – the challenges were beyond the capacity of individuals and the health system itself; exposure to personal limitations in the face of so much death and suffering. Associated with this sense of helplessness are nightmares, flashbacks, randomly crying and insomnia.
Separation from self – the natural consequence of traumatic experiences.
Loss of a sense of balance – impacting how time, health and relationships are valued or devalued (because of lack of time allocated to them)
Burnout – on physical, psychological and moral levels. Rheanna described this as “acute burnout” reducing the energy for self-care and potentially leading to thoughts of suicide.

Rheanna pointed out that nurses, including herself, were normally able to “compartmentalise” their adverse experiences and do so in a way that was healthy, However, the adverse experiences from the pandemic were “unrelenting”, leading to chronic distress. Part of the frustration was the inability of frontline nurses to help others at times when they were feeling so “fragile”.

Self-caring strategies for frontline COVID nurses

Cynda offered several self-care strategies for COVID nurses during her conversation with Rheanna. Some covered ways of addressing negative self-talk while others focused on adopting a changed perspective and mindset or instituting a mindfulness practice:

Mindfulness practice: Cynda offered a mindfulness practice that could be used by COVID nurses experiencing distress and burnout. This focused initially on the breath with the out-breath being viewed as a release of stress. In the exercise, the exhale stage was lengthened to accentuate and support release. Participants were encouraged to rest in the gap between the in-breath and out-breath and, where possible, extend this gap between breaths. A slow body scan was the next step with emphasis on identifying and releasing points of tension. Participants were encouraged to focus on an anchor of choice to stop their minds addressing their extended to-do list or diverting into worrying. Cynda suggested that nurse participants become conscious of how many miles their feet have travelled in pursuit of their daily caring and the level of support that their feet have provided. Lastly, she encouraged the nurses to employ statements such as:
- May I trust the wisdom of this moment consciously and fully.
- May I have the courage, honesty and openness to see things clearly and without judgment.
- May I be willing to let go of what impedes me rather than helps me.
- May I encounter a wise mentor to assist me to deal with these challenges.
Confronting your own limitations: Rheanna pointed out the sense of guilt and shame that she experienced that were driven , in part, by her self-talk – “you could have done more”, “if only you had acted faster”, “if you had paid attention more fully you could have saved more people”, “if only you had been able to convince people to make different decisions”, etc. Our minds are very creative when it comes to self-denigration and negative self-evaluations. It is important to acknowledge that no one could have handled the challenges for nursing presented by the pandemic and not experience their debilitating effects. Cynda suggests that nurses need to “turn towards their limitations” and do so “with as much compassion “ as they extend to others. There is scope here for loving-kindness meditation for oneself.
Changing your perspective: Cynda stated that the tendency in these crisis situations is to think that you are carrying the load by yourself because there is a natural tendency to turn inwards to cope with what is happening. She argues that what is required is a change in perspective. For example, she asked Rheanna to think about “Who else is carrying the load of the pandemic? “Who has your back? (e.g. friends, family, colleagues local and abroad & mentors).
Separate effort from outcomes: Cynda maintained that a form of self-care is to acknowledge that the health outcomes are often beyond the control of a nurse. She stated that In her own work she does the best she can in the circumstances to meet an identified need but recognises that the specific outcomes are not in her control – there are too many intervening aspects impacting the final outcome. Cynda maintains that freeing yourself from expectations and outcomes is crucial for a nurses’ welfare. In the pandemic, COVID nurses such as Rheanna attempted to “fix unsolvable problems”. Nurses’ health outcomes were not the result of lack of effort or smarts but because the pandemic situation exceeded the capacity of individuals and the health system itself.
Savour achievements – Cynda reinforces the view that the brain has a natural negative bias and is more likely to “mull over” what did not go well rather than “honour what we are able to do in the moment”, given the circumstances thrust upon us. She stated that nurses need to focus on how they made a difference in people’s lives, e.g., holding someone’s hands as they were dying, gasping for breath or having a tube inserted to enable them to breathe. This thought expressed kindly by Cynda precipitated a chain reaction from Rheanna who began to identify numerous moments when she “deeply showed up with people” and , in the process, rediscovered “what it means to be a nurse” and gained insight into the very core of her being and who she was. The other aspect that Rheanna savoured was her deep connection with people who were suffering – in spite of what was happening around her independently of her best efforts.

Reflection

Much of what Cynda proposed as strategies to help nurses deal with the extraordinary level of stress of frontline work during the pandemic can be incredibly useful for all of us to manage stress and resultant distress in our daily lives. As we grow in mindfulness through meditation, reflection and other mindfulness practices we can reshape our perspective and expectations, savour the positive in our lives (including being alive), confront our grief and limitations and achieve the freedom of separating outcomes from effort in our chosen endeavours.

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Ways to Engage with Nature

In a previous post I explored the benefits of solitude and silence in nature. Cultivating the practice of being alone in nature can help us to develop self-awareness, patience and self-regulation. It can be useful for gaining insight into the limitations of our perspective on issues such as personal conflict and can provide clarity and insight by enabling us to access our “inner voice”. With increased engagement with nature, we can better understand our life purpose and find creative ways to employ our skills and experience for the benefit of others. But how do you engage effectively with nature to access these benefits?

Ways to engage with nature mindfully

Ruth Allen, in her book How Connection with Nature Can Improve our Mental and Physical Wellbeing, offers multiple suggestions on what we can do to increase the frequency and intensity of our engagement such as:

Mindful photography – this had immediate appeal for me because I love taking photos of sunrises and sunsets, rainforests, beaches, and birds that inhabit waterways, such as ducks, pelicans and water wrens. Adopting a purposeful approach to photographing nature enables us to be fully in the present moment, to notice the detail and attractiveness of what we are trying to capture and to clear the noise and clutter in our head. Ruth suggests too that we can employ the photographic images as a way to represent our emotions and, in the process, increase our self-awareness. Ruth’s book is full of illustrations of mindful photography as well as her wisdom about nature and its connectedness that she has developed through personal practice, experience as an adventurer and her professional endeavours as a geologist and eco-psychotherapist.
Gardening – whether you are pottering around in a garden or cultivating plants in pots, you can gain the experience of the smell of the earth, the sight of the different plant species and the touch and texture of both soil and plants. Developing a herb garden gives an even wider range of aromas, textures and taste. Gardening gives us access to intense sensual experience covering not only sight, taste, touch, and smell but also the potentiality of listening to birds as they traverse our space or reside in our bird-attracting trees and plants. Consciously cultivating plants, shrubs and trees that attract birds, bees and butterflies increases our sensory experience of nature in our own yard. Often nature is literally at our doorstep and we fail to engage effectively with it, just taking it for granted as a backdrop to our busy, noisy lives.
Notice the small things in nature – often the large aspects of nature such as clouds, mountains, sky and oceans capture our focus at the expense of observing the small things in nature. While the macro aspects of nature are indeed awe-inspiring and give us a sense of expansiveness, the micro level provides its own fascination through its diversity, intricacy and connectedness. We can observe at the micro level by close observation or by what Ruth calls, “soft fascination”. Close observation entails focused attention on something micro like a leaf, insect or stone and closely observing its features and marvelling at its distinctiveness whether that be its colours, patterns,, textures, shape or some other feature. Soft fascination, on the other hand, involves letting our eyes “float” across a section of landscape while allowing our mind “to drift into a state of reflection and introspection”.

Reflection

Engagement with nature brings countless benefits and Ruth draws on the scientific evidence of these in her book, including the work of Stephen and Rachel Kaplan. There are many ways we can practice this engagement extending from close physical observation to mindful photography. We just need to form the intention to maximise our engagement with nature to harness these benefits. We can meditate on nature and as we grow in mindfulness, we can enhance the benefits that accrue. Through mindfulness cultivated by mindful observation of nature and nature meditation, we can develop stillness and silence, attention and concentration, awareness and insight and a deep sense of connectedness and interconnection.

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Image by Hai Nguyen from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Equanimity and Fragility of the Human Condition

Martin Brensilver, meditation teacher at UCLA, provides a guided meditation podcast on Equanimity as a Facet of Mindfulness. In the process he explores the nature of equanimity and argues that it is not the same as passivity – it is not inaction or indifference in the face of human suffering in the world. For Martin, equanimity involves “having a relationship with one’s deep sensory experience right now” – engaging with our deepest thoughts and feelings in the moment. It involves being open to the full poignancy of the human condition – not deadening our experience of life but drawing out the sadness and melodrama of the human condition. Mindfulness enables us to meet this intensity with “patience, love and tolerance” and a “soft heart”.

Martin stresses that equanimity is a fine balance between suppression of what we are feeling and thinking and becoming totally caught up in those thoughts and feelings. Equanimity involves being fully present to our bodily sensations and open to fully experiencing our challenging emotions. What equanimity brings to our lives is the capacity to overcome the “compulsion to act out our preferences” – the temptation to succumb to our habituated responses in the face of challenging thoughts and emotions.

Martin observes that there are times when meditation is “not fun at all”. To be silent and still, in whatever posture we adopt, can unearth strong emotions and racing thoughts. It can be a catalyst for uncomfortable bodily sensations. What it does, however, is “open our hearts to ourselves” and what we are experiencing.

The fragility of the human condition

Martin gave a talk in May 2020 as part of a retreat for Buddhist practitioners. The podcast of the talk is titled, Vulnerability, Porousness, Equanimity, and Love. The talk is fairly conceptual and focuses on the difference between classical Buddhist thinking on vulnerability versus modern-day Buddhist thinking. However, Martin makes a number of points relevant to our discussion about the human condition by drawing on the work of several authors.

One of these writers is Adam Phillips, author of Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life. Adam suggests that we long for a different life from what we are experiencing. We can become focused on “needs unmet”, “desires unfulfilled” and “roads not taken” – effectively “falling short” of our potential. These are the “lives unlived” that we imagine could have been possible and this can lead to a sense of unrest and even “rage”.

Martin compares the human condition to that of the fragility of a plant and contrasts it to the solidity of a jewel. He refers to Susan David’s comment that “life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility”. In her book, Emotional Agility, Susan asserts that life involves sadness, fragility and anxiety and we need to acknowledge this, but to live our life more fully requires the courage to go beyond our comfort zone and manage our fear about uncertainty and ambiguity.

Martin asserts that the pandemic has highlighted the downside of interdependence as well as the upside. He suggests that we have been experiencing the “porousness of the boundary between self and world” – the pandemic has injected itself into millions of lives in numerous countries so that we are conscious that we are “living in precariousness”, we cannot ignore the fragility of the human condition. Martin reaffirms Susan’s contention that failure to accept this vulnerability is a “major source of inhumanity” – the harmful withholding of care, concern and compassion. He maintains that, in contrast, embracing vulnerability fully, (and with It, the possibility of rejection) leads to softening the heart and opening to patience, tolerance and care.

Developing equanimity

Martin draws on the work of Sara Lazar, a scientist researching meditation and yoga. Sara and her colleagues in a joint research paper define equanimity as “an even-minded state” or an even disposition towards all experiences no matter their source or how they are experienced (e.g., pleasant or unpleasant).

Martin summarises Sara’s thoughts about developing the key aspects of equanimity as follows:

Widen our perspective – when we are in pain or feel vulnerable (e.g. because of the pandemic), our focus narrows and we can easily lose perspective. Martin suggests that one way to widen our perspective is to envisage the vastness of space or the time the light from stars take to journey to us. We could also envisage the earth in space and billions of people living in diverse countries, timeframes and cultures.
More readily engage in sensory experience – as suggested earlier, this means not denying experience or associated emotions but embracing them fully. If we can accept not suppress what we are experiencing then we are better able to ride out the “the winds of feelings”, rather than tightly bracing against them. This principle is captured in a very practical way by Jon Kabat-Zinn in his book, Full Catastrophe Living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using Mindfulness Meditation.
Disengage from evaluative (judgemental) thinking and reactive behaviour – we have to overcome the unevenness of our response to challenging emotions and events conditioned by our habituated behaviour. This takes a quiet confidence that is born of courage and self-awareness. Despite our best efforts, our equanimity can ebb and flow but as we work with our deepest emotions we can widen our window of tolerance so that we are “not afraid to be overrun by experience”.

Reflection

Martin reinforces the fact that equanimity is not a steady state – it can have its ups and downs. As we grow in mindfulness through meditation and reflection, we can develop this “even-minded state” and ready disposition towards the challenging experiences and emotions of our life. We can become increasingly self-aware and learn to overcome our reactivity and learned responses to stressors.

Increasingly, we can build what Martin describes as “courageous confidence” – a healthy confidence not born of conceit but deeply embedded in consciousness of the fragility of the human condition. We can progressively move away from acquisitiveness and self-absorption to care and compassionate action for others who together with us are experiencing life’s frailties, uncertainties and challenges.

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Image by Anant Sharma from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

The Courage of Simone Biles

Simone Biles, considered one of the greatest female gymnasts of all time, had a rocky road at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics (23 July to 8 August 2021) that had been delayed because of the pandemic. Simone, who has won 32 Olympic and World Championship medals, experienced mental health issues at the Olympics and opted to withdraw from the US team event after completing only one of the four components in the artistic gymnastics competition. She also withdrew from individual events including the all-round gymnastic competition.

However, Simone returned for one event, the balanced beam, to win a bronze medal in a tight finish. Her courage and resilience in the face of her mental health issues is a source of inspiration for many others, including elite athletes who suffer from the burden of expectations. Her courage is immortalised in the Binge© movie about her life – the 2018 movie, The Simone Biles Story – Courage to Soar, which among other things depicts her adverse childhood experiences which included foster care.

Mental health issue – the Twisties

During the final of her first event, the vault, as part of the US Gymnastic team, Simone experienced the “twisties” which can be very dangerous because it involves disorientation through loss of spatial awareness while twisting and turning in the air and attempting to land. It can cause serious injury such as that experienced by British gymnast, Claudia Fragapane, during the 2016 Olympics. Claudia explained that Simone would have experienced the “twisties” as a mental block resulting from too much pressure – unrealistic expectations that fail to acknowledge that world-class gymnasts, while being able to perform “superhuman” feats, are in fact human and vulnerable.

As Simone herself commented, “At the end of the day, we’re not just entertainment, we’re human” and gymnasts not only have to manage the intricacies and demands of the sport but also “things behind the scenes”. In her case, one of the sad and disturbing things that happened during the Olympics was the unexpected death of her aunt, which occurred two days before her return to compete on the balance beam.

The courage to return

Simone returned to the Olympic competition to compete in the individual balance beam final where she won a bronze medal. She displayed incredible courage to return and risk injury but had clearly developed a balanced perspective through her mental health crisis. She said of her Olympic Bronze Medal, that it “means more than all the golds” because of the courage and resilience she had to draw on over the previous five years and the week of the Olympics. She also indicated that she valued her “physical and mental health” above all the medals.

During her break from the pressure of the 2020 Olympic competition, Simone spent time utilising the training facilities of Juntendo University which is located just outside Tokyo. There she was able to regain her balance and confidence to enable her to return for the individual balanced beam event. She publicly expressed her deep gratitude for their support and technical assistance. To acknowledge their support publicly when she herself was in the limelight demonstrated her humility, appreciation and healthy confidence.

Simone is globally acknowledged for achieving “gravity-defying” feats that no one else has been able to achieve. After this Olympics, her personal achievement in dealing with her mental health issue will rank up there with her physical achievements and inspire many others to seek help and grow through their challenges.

Reflection

When we are confronted with unrealistic expectations we can become both disturbed and distracted and lose perspective. Sometimes, it requires “time out” (as in basketball and beach volleyball) to assess what is going on and to regain our perspective. Simone showed us that she had the courage to declare her difficult mental state and to take time out to find her balance (physically and emotionally) and restore her perspective.

It took even more courage to return to the Olympic competition despite the sometimes vitriolic media commentary that saw her as “deserting her teammates”. She had to face not only her inner demons but also the external, unthinking critics who lacked understanding and compassion. Simone also demonstrated courage in bringing “the topic of conversation on mental health to light” which she stated “meant the world” to her.

Simone was willing to disclose what action she had taken to be able to return to the competition and she did so to express her gratitude to people who helped her in the intervening period. As I discussed previously, gratitude is one thing that Naomi Osaka uses to help her become grounded in challenging situations. Ash Barty, too, has gratitude as a foundational value.

We can develop our own resilience and courage by using meditation, reflection and other practices to grow in mindfulness. This will help us to explore our inner landscape and our habituated responses and enable us to develop healthy confidence and a balanced perspective.

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Playing Canasta: An Analogy for Mindfulness

I was recently playing Canasta with my wife during a trip to Stradbroke Island to attend the Stradbroke Chamber Music Festival (SCMF). It occurred to me that playing Canasta was an analogy for mindfulness – there were significant aspects of playing Canasta well that reminded me of being mindful. I don’t want to trivialise mindfulness or overextend the analogy, but there are times when the ordinary seems to assume extraordinary dimensions. Rachel Joyce captures this phenomenon in her book, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry – where a walking trip from the south of England to the north becomes a journey into Harold’s “inner landscape”. It seems to me that to play Canasta well you have to pay attention in the moment and, above all, “play the best game you can with the cards you’re dealt”.

Paying Attention

Paying attention on purpose is fundamental to the development of mindfulness. It builds concentration, self-awareness, awareness of the other and creative solutions to challenging problems. In Canasta, you need to pay attention to what is happening in the game, notice the micro-behaviour of the other player(s), observe the choices they make about “taking up” or “putting down”, notice what cards they ignore and what they table. You also have to be aware of what is going on in your own hand, test out your own assumptions and hypotheses about the other player’s strategy, correct any mistakes you make and “go with the flow” of the game.

Play with the cards you are dealt

According to the Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), acceptance is integral to mindfulness – “accepting what is”. Diana Winston, mindfulness educator with MARC, reminds us that this acceptance entails self-acceptance, breaking the complaining cycle, overcoming disappointments, being in touch with our feelings and keeping things in perspective.

In Canasta, there is no point in complaining about the cards you have been dealt or wishing that your mix of cards were better (e.g., more wild cards and jokers or multiple cards of the same number/rank). You have to play with the cards you’re dealt and develop strategies to make the most of those cards and the cards you are offered/acquire as the game progresses. You have to continue to pay attention as the game unfolds because you will begin to see opportunities that were not available or obvious at the start of the game. And so it is with mindful living.

Reflection

There are many things in life that can be enriched by being mindful – whether it is being in nature, playing tennis, driving your car, listening to music, developing inclusive leadership or just waiting for something to happen. For example, “killing time” while waiting can become an opportunity to tune your awareness, playing tennis and making mistakes can develop your self-awareness, self-regulation and resilience when played mindfully (and accepting what is!).

As we grow in mindfulness, we can enrich every aspect of our life because mindfulness is a portable state – it is not just grounded in a meditative practice or stance. It shapes who you are and how you respond to life and its many challenges. It impacts what you see and how you perceive it. It helps you to develop deep listening in relationships. Mindfulness can go with you wherever you go but it requires a concerted effort, a commitment to practice and activities that enable you to transition from meditation to living life fully and with purpose.

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Image by jacqueline macou from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.