poem – Grow Mindfulness

Respecting Our Bodies

During our July Creative Meetup, we were introduced to the theme “Honoring Your Body” by our facilitator, Jennifer Crystal. Jennifer provided two poems by different poets as a way to stimulate the creativity of our group of writers-with-chronic-illness.

Our first stimulus poem was “Primary Care” by Dr. Rafael Campo that graphically addresses the body of the ill person, not only the symmetrical perfection but also the smell and blood. He also exclaims, “beneath your fragile skin, I see the soul that you shield”. He acknowledges that “you, body, weep, you think, you scar as if to show us our own history”. The poem is included in Rafael’s sixth collection of poems, Alternative Medicine, that reveals his deep understanding of the relationships amongst “language, empathy and healing”.

Our second stimulus poem was by Lucille Clifton, former Poet Laurette for Maryland. The poem, “Homage to My Hips”, focused on a single body part, the hips. In the poem Lucille expresses gratitude for her femininity and respect for her “body parts”. She describes her body with pride and humour. In a discussion of “What Poetry Is”, Lucille suggested that “poetry is a way of living in the world”. “ a way of trying to express something that is very difficult to express” and “a way of trying to come to peace with the world”. In her view, poetry comes from questions, not answers, and a sense of wonder about the world, ourselves and those around us.

Writing Prompts provided during the Creative Meetup

Jennifer provided the following writing prompts on the theme of the Meetup, “Honoring Your Body”:

Write a piece of prose or a poem beginning with, “Oh, body…”
Write a poem or a piece of prose about one part of your body.

I chose to respond to the first prompt and decided to write a poem titled, “A Letter to My Body”. The poem reflects the emotional ups and downs that I experience as a result of having the chronic condition, Mass Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). The condition means that I have to severely limit what I eat and drink, otherwise I suffer from hives, rash, swelling of the legs and ankles, arthritic pain, indigestion and headaches.

Despite this condition, I am able to do many things, including think and write, read and play sport. I feel endlessly grateful for what I can do and savour my residual capabilities. I will be 80 years old in three weeks’ time and I value my overall good health.

A Letter to My Body

Oh Body – you test me at times,
react to the smallest thing,
create pain, itch and scars.
What are you protesting?

Where did this reactivity come from?
Why now in later life?
Pleasures from food and drink
turned to irritation and frustration.

You have served me well,
provided joy, pleasure and contentment.
Your agility and resilience amaze me,
even now, a source of astonishment.

I value that I can still walk and run,
the many times that you have been competent,
your flexibility and keenness to learn and adapt.
enabling me to play five racquet sports and two football codes.

Physical discomfort is partly in my control,
I choose to eat what I enjoy,
there are consequence that I know,
you have been forgiving of my abuse.

I’m grateful for my genetic inheritance,
a gift that keeps on giving.
Despite my ups and downs,
you stand by me – a constant companion.

Every day I see people whose bodies will not let them walk unaided,
whose movement is restricted or uncontrolled.
Some have to rely on others for their mobility,
always dependent on someone else for basic tasks.

I’ve taken my independence for granted,
not tethered to others to move around,
doing many things with ease,
the recipient of competency’s benefits.

You’ve stuck by me through thick and thin,
through the aftermath of a serious car accident,
through melanomas and skin cancers,
through the daily MCAS assaults and arthritic pain.

You’ve kept me mobile and mentally alert,
physically capable beyond my years,
despite my lack of respect for you,
my abuse of your good intentions.

There is grief here,
about the foods I cannot eat,
the drinks I cannot drink,
the meals I cannot share.

You have sweated and swelled to protect me from perceived invaders.
I appreciate your diligence in caring for me.
in helping me to maintain my immunity,
in providing the good health to enable my physical pursuits.

You enable me to enjoy my mobility when travelling interstate,
to achieve my 3,500 steps daily,
to play recreational pickleball weekly at intermediate level,
to do my regular exercise routine that keeps me agile, strong and resilient.

I’m surprised by your sense and sensibility.
Your intelligence is not just in my brain,
but also in my gut and heart.
You rein in my unfettered emotions with deep breathing.

I marvel at your body memory,
your capacity to play racquet shots instinctively,
without any conscious intervention,
reading the play and responding intuitively.

I have savoured your competence,
bringing me endless joy in the “now” and in “replay”.
I feel challenged to show you more respect,
to curtail what I eat and drink that is harmful to me.

Oh body, you are like a tree firmly rooted in the ground.
swaying with the winds of change.
inexorably displaying my life history,
in the texture of your bark and the shedding of your leaves.

You are my grounding,
my earthly residence,
my link to nature and others,
my sole comfort in times of darkness.

Reflection

In writing the poem, “A Letter to My Body”, I was very conscious of what I had discussed in an earlier post when I wrote about poetry “blending opposites and breaking frames”. I wrote the first five stanzas during our Meetup writing exercise. As I reflected further and processed my mixed emotions around the Meetup theme, I became more conscious of the need to blend opposite emotions and achieve a breaking of my “victim” frame. In the poem, I was able to bring together sadness and joy, grief and gratitude, disdain and respect, frustration and elation, disorientation and groundedness. The poem helped me to change my inner landscape from “victim” to privileged.

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Image by wal_172619 from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

The Need for Mindful Listening by Doctors

After completing my last blog post about Dr. Rafael Campo’s view that poetry expresses the rhythm of the body, I began to reflect further on my recent medical experience. Rafael contends that doctors can access the “interior story” of a patient by listening to the poetry of the patient. The patient’s medical story encapsulated in their poem provides the “context” for the evolution of the patient’s illness.

Uncovering strong emotions

On writing about Rafael’s perspective on what makes a “good doctor”, I began to realise that my “interior story” was really one of resentment and frustration with my recent treatment by doctors and specialist consultants. It has been difficult for me to own this part of my medical story because of my inherent respect for doctors and their calling to help people in need of medical assistance.

In the past, I had focused on the “data” about my medical story . For example, when I wrote the poem The Sounds of My Medical Story, I was very focused on eliciting the sounds and not on exploring the meaning and feelings behind them. Through a process reflection, I became more aware of the disruptive nature of my chronic illnesses and my frustration about the lack of support from the medical profession.

It was left to me to find a way to tone down the sounds/noise of my body by exploring “periods of silence and solitude” so that my body could emit a “soft pattern of soothing sounds”. I have found these soothing sounds disturbed on a number of occasions recently when my body reacted to specific foods and elevated my heart rate to twice its normal level (from 50 beats per minute to 110 beats per minute) for a period of hours.

Lack of knowledge and understanding of many doctors

Part of the problem is that there is a lack of knowledge and understanding amongst doctors and specialist consultants in relation to my core dermatitis and digestive illness, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). In consequence, there is a tendency to deny its existence or to ignore it as a part of my medical story.

It is interesting that one of the new questions added to the survey for the joint Influenza/COVID vaccination asks, “Do you have MCAS and do you suffer anaphylaxis from it?’. This new question for the Federally-funded, free vaccinations gives an indication that the existence of MCAS and its potentially serious impacts are recognised by some medical professionals in positions of authority.

In contrast, last year I had asked my gastroenterologist to undertake a biopsy during my routine colonoscopy to diagnose officially whether or not I had MCAS (apparently, a biopsy is the only reliable way to test the presence of MCAS as a blood test alone does not provide the necessary information). My gastroenterologist refused on the grounds that “MCAS is a controversial area” and not accepted by all medical professionals. At the same time, he gave me the name of a specialist consultant in another area who recognises MCAS and works with patients on this illness.

Disinterest and disdain of some doctors

I subsequently obtained a referral to a specialist allergist who refused to read my medical history (that I spent hours preparing) but undertook a number of skin prick tests that showed that I was allergic to soy, wheat and dairy products among other things. He lost interest in my case when he established that I do not suffer from anaphylaxis. It was left to me to ascertain what foods, in what quantities, are harmful to my body and mind.

I then turned to my General Practitioner (GP) who has a Doctorate in Immunology and again I received no insight into MCAS and how to manage it. However, my GP referred me to a specialist dermatology clinic at a hospital because they were of the view that I would be “a good candidate for biologic treatment” as my MCAS was not under control and I was restricted to 10 foods (that were not harmful to me). No explanation of biologics or its potentially harmful effects were given to me (I had to research this treatment myself). From my own research, I have established that biologics are complex and expensive, can cause an allergic reaction and expose the body to more serious infection. They are often given by injection and can require regular visits to a hospital (e.g. fortnightly).

During my initial visit and a follow-up to the dermatology clinic, I saw two different registrars. The first took my medical history record “for the file” but did not discuss my MCAS or subsequent events such as a tick bite, Mammalian Meat Allergy or Ciguatera fish poisoning. The registrar was totally data-focused on assessing my suitability for biologics. I was given a request form for a battery of blood tests (20+) to check whether I had one of the conditions that would eliminate me from further consideration for biologics.

Apparently my blood tests results were “good” which I ascertained to mean that they did not invalidate me as a biologic candidate. On the follow-up visit to another registrar, I was not given the test results but told, after a physical examination, that I did not qualify for biologic treatment as my dermatitis “did not cover my whole body”. From the outset, I had explained that I was not interested in biologics but this was ignored.

Since my visits to the hospital dermatology clinic involved more than three hours (including travel time), I cancelled a further follow-up meeting. I received no useful help with my dermatitis (no one was interested in my symptoms or triggers) – the registrars were only interested in pursuing their biological model which, in this case, entailed biologics.

In a recent Q & A session with MCAS 360 practitioners I asked whether they supported using biologics for MCAS, the response was that they did not support this approach because it was very much trial and error as it was very difficult to determine the appropriate level of intervention and because it had potentially damaging side effects.

Reflection

Interestingly, during a live presentation by Dr. Neil Nathan, author of The Sensitive Patient’s Healing Guide, a participant from Chicago described her experience with the medical profession when she attempted to discuss her MCAS triggers and symptoms. She visited an allergist (who claimed expertise in MCAS) and “ was belittled” and told to go to a dermatologist. However, the allergist ordered a serious of tests despite saying it “was a waste of time”. The participant then visited a dermatologist who “put his hand up” and told her “to shut up”. He prescribed steroids which proved to be “useless”. The original allergist’s office rang the participant back after the test results and told her she had MCAS and needed to return. The participant chose not to return and over time progressively researched her own condition and improved her health by herself. Dr. Nathan himself, during his presentation, commented that “if you can find someone who will listen to what you are saying about how sensitive you are, that’s a godsend”.

Rafael highlights the fact that doctors are taught “detached concern and distancing”. They are “immersed in the biological model” and think only in terms of diagnosis and the “treatment algorithm”. Poetry, in contrast, expresses emotion fully and thus “abets empathy”. The cadence of poetry demands mindful listening, attention and attunement to emotive expression and the human sounds within. It challenges doctors who are caught up in endless checklists, “overwhelmed with diagnosis codes” and disabled by “distancing”.

The Health Story Collaborative is designed to close the listening and empathy gap. It creates multiple platforms for health storytelling and provides an empathetic audience of people-with-chronic-illness, as well as doctors. A supportive community is a key element in the healing journey of people with chronic illness. I have participated in HSC’s Creative Meetups for the past two years. This group of writers-with-chronic-illness meets online once a month and provides an opportunity to write about our “interior story” and to share the outcomes in this supportive community.

I have written a poem to reflect my experience with medical professionals and my feelings about their lack of listening and empathy:

The Inner Story Laid Bare

Frustration and resentment abound,
each professional with deaf ears,
not listening to my subjective medical story,
intent on objective data exploration,
missing the “interior story”.

Failing to understand the context of my chronic illness,
blind to its origins, effects and impact on quality of life,
always grasping for what is scientifically known,
shared patient experience ignored,
in the interests of a deemed correct diagnosis and treatment.

Lack of knowledge and understanding,
desensitized by a biological model,
closed to our “interior story”,
unable to listen mindfully,
unwilling to summon empathy.

A peer support community,
ready to share their health story,
prompts for prose and poetry,
collaborating to close the empathy gap,
willing to be vulnerable for each other.

If medical professionals practised some form of mindfulness they can develop the art of mindful listening to patients. Rafael Campo has used poetry as his way into mindfulness. Research demonstrates that mindfulness practices are highly effective for the medical professionals.

As they grow in mindfulness, medical professionals can enhance their physical wellbeing, reduce the risk of burnout, improve their care of patients and develop emotional regulation. Training in mindfulness, undertaken by hospitals and medical institutions, is designed “to train doctors to actively listen and engage with patients mindfully” thus increasing empathy amongst doctors and improving the accuracy of diagnosis.

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Image by Alexa from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Listening to Our Interior Story

Dr. Rafael Campo, in an interview for the Boston Globe, spoke of the ability of poetry to reveal the “interior story” of the creator. He highlighted the rhythm of poetry and how it mirrored the rhythm of the body.

Dr. Rafael Campo, a Harvard trained doctor, is a highly acclaimed poet, essayist and medical specialist at Harvard Medical School. He is an untiring advocate and health professional for HIV infected patients. Rafael is the author of nine books of poetry and other publications. He is also the poetry editor for the Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA). He teaches primary health care at several medical institutions, including Harvard Medical School.

Rafael has received many awards and honours for his poetry and prides himself in using a “palette of poetry” by adopting a diversity of poetic forms, thus reflecting his “hybrid” experience. Rafael uses his poetry to express his feelings for his cancer and AIDS patients as well as emergency room patients who have encountered the brutality of racism and homophobia in America. He also teaches poetry to patients and medical professionals alike.

Listening to the rhythm of poetry

Rafael considers poetry to be “the opposite of silence” because it expresses the stories of patients and medical professionals. He maintains that patients are often silenced by the biomedical focus of doctors who are trained to be “relentless in the pursuit of facts”. He argues that doctors are taught to suppress their own feelings and adopt a “detached” stance. In the process, doctors don’t listen to the life stories of patients and lose valuable insight into the “context” of the patient’s illness.

Rafael contends that just like listening to a heartbeat with a stethoscope, doctors can listen to “the physical rhythms of the body” expressed through the language of poetry. In his own words, “poetry is full of the music of the body”. He highlights the corporeal nature of poetry because, in his view, it fundamentally expresses “in a visceral way what it is to be human”.

Rafael argues that listening to patients’ poems and writing poetry makes him a better doctor because he is more attuned to the “context” of an individual’s illness and their “interior story”.

Writing prompts for our Creative Meetup Group inspired by Rafael Campo

I participated in the June, online Creative Meetup sponsored by the Health Story Collaborative for writers-with-chronic-illness. Our facilitator, Jennifer Crystal, read an extract from Boston Globe’s interview with Rafael. When Jennifer introduced Rafael’s perspective on the human rhythm of poetry, it immediately struck a chord with me.

The interview extract served as the stimulus for our writing during the Meetup. We were invited to write poetry or prose around the theme of the stimulus piece and the related writing prompts offered by Jennifer. I chose to write a free-form poem about my experience of chronic illness while addressing both the writing prompts.

Writing prompts:

What are the sounds and/or rhythms of your medical story?
If you could hold a stethoscope up to your interior story, what would you want us to hear?

After we had completed 20 minutes of writing, Meetup participants shared their writing which was rich with metaphors to describe the sounds of their medical story and the nature of their “interior story”. The metaphors employed by the participants focused on both disruptive/disturbing sounds and soothing sounds:

Metaphors of disruptive/disturbing sounds:

like war sounds
the storm that couldn’t kill
church bells ringing
loud chaotic concert
waves crashing
noisy, electronic hospital environment
like trumpet blasts.

Metaphors of soothing sounds:

sweet melody of harp
whispers of nature and beauty
soft pattern of soothing sounds
silence and solitude.

Poetry affords the opportunity to blend opposites (e.g. noise and silence) and change metaphors to break frames and create a new mindset. Poetry has the power to transform our perspective.

My response to the writing prompts is reflected in the following poem:

The Sounds of My Medical Story

A story that lacks rhythm,
a staccato effect.
Flare-ups like trumpet blasts,
Disrupting and interrupting.
Periods of silence and solitude,
A soft pattern of soothing sounds.
Poetry as alchemy.

Reflection

I have been inspired by The Book of Alchemy authored by Suleika Jaouad in which she explores the art of journalling with 100 very accomplished contributors. As Suleika was writing the final chapter of her book she received word that her aggressive leukemia had returned. While preparing herself and her house for another extended hospital stay (for chemo and a third bone marrow transplant), she recalled the alchemy of writing a journal. This led her to write a poem about how journalling alchemizes isolation and suffering and leads to new insights and a newly envisioned future.

In her poem, Suleika draws on multiple analogies to express how she has experienced the alchemy of journalling:

a companion to untangle the knots in her life
a source of memory and reverie
a teacher of mindfulness (through paying attention to the simple things in life)
a mirror for her past, present and future self
a refuge and hiding place and “finding place”
a means “to write her way through”
a co-creator of a future self.

On reading her poem about the alchemy of writing and journalling, I was inspired to produce an “erased poem”(in Haiku format) from her words:

An Ode to Poetry

Friend for company,
finding place for future self.
Create my way through.

As we grow in mindfulness through writing poetry, blogging or journalling, we can access our “interior story”, develop creative approaches to challenging situations (such as illness) and build a new level of acceptance of “what is”. We can also draw inspiration from others by writing in community – accessing the power of storytelling and sharing.

Rafael reminds us that a poem is “crafted” around a theme and structural elements such as rhyme. rhythm, alliteration, metaphor, length, format, and language. I found that I had to craft this blog post when I became overwhelmed by the volume of information about Rafael and his poetry. In crafting the post, I needed to reduce the focus to one key area, find ways to integrate disparate sources and explore avenues for integrating the material. The content and structure evolved through multiple edits and rewrites.

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Image by Olle August from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Journalling for Creativity

In the Book of Alchemy, Suleika Jaouad provides ten themes for journalling, with each thematic chapter prefaced by her own essay on the focal topic. Each chapter, in turn, has ten authors who contribute to the chapter theme by providing a short essay and related writing prompts. The book thus provides an excellent source of inspiration for journalling for creativity as well as practical hints on how to overcome writer’s block when attempting creative writing. The sub-title of the book, A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life, highlights the intent of the book to stimulate creativity and provide inspiration.

One of the many contributions that had a profound impact on me is that of Natalie Warther who wrote about “Poetry by Erasure”. Natalie was awarded a Master of Fine Arts in poetry from the Bennington Writing Seminars. Her essay in the Book of Alchemy, in the chapter “On Seeing”, explains the process of writing poetry by erasure and states that she started this practice in the early months of quarantine during the pandemic. Natalie found that the erasure practice helped her to overcome overwhelm as it provided a way to be creative without having “to start from scratch”.

The process involves starting with a piece of text – a poem, newspaper article, book you have read or a novel you are reading – and progressively whittling away at it until it is transformed into “the thing that needs to be said through you”. Words are lifted from their context and studied as discrete entities with a disembodied meaning. Your “creation through elimination” results in the original text being unrecognisable – the context, sequence and meaning of the employed words have changed. You can give your created poem a new title to communicate the change in focus and meaning. Natalie cites the famous poet Mary Ruefle as saying of her own erasure poetry process that she doesn’t read the page of the original text but rather just the words.

Erasure poetry

I found that starting with an existing poem made it easier for me to come up with an erasure poem. My initial attempts were basically a restating of the theme of the original text while using some of the words employed by the original author. This involved elimination but little in the way of creativity. Here are two examples of my early attempts:

Acts of Kindness

The simple act
sending love
when I was terribly low.

I trust acts of kindness
live in my body.
I am made of them.

(Erasure poem drawn from The Making – a poem by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer)

The Gift of Solitude

Suddenly a solitude,
an enormity, an empire.
It’s gigantically different!
Thank God.

(Erasure poem drawn from It is Difficult to Speak of the Night– a poem by Jack Gilbert)

As I made further attempts with erasure poetry I started to move away from the theme of the original creator and establish a new focus and meaning. Here are two examples of these transformations:

The Pursuit of Science

Commitment and wonder,
passionate and precise,
no detail too small,
noticing the smallest of things.

(Erasure poem drawn from No Detail Too Small – a poem by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer)

The Wonder of Stories

Listen to stories
I carry everywhere
for sharing.

Break open the vast ache
that all of us carries
for wonder.

(Erasure poem drawn from The Elephant in the Room – a poem by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer)

Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer provides a poem-a-day so her poetry is a good source of inspiration for erasure poetry. What I found in reading her daily poems is that the lack of structure seemed to get in the road of my appreciating the full meaning of her poems (I’m used to reading other people’s poems that are more structured although I write “free form poetry” myself). However, by taking out individual words and examining them closely and then putting them back into the context of Rosemerry’s poem, enabled me to really appreciate the meaning of her original poem (I saw her poem in a new way as if the light of understanding illuminated the meaning of the original poem).

The benefits of erasure poetry

Besides helping the reader to see the original poem in a new light, erasure poetry can be (in Natalie’s words) “freeing” and “playful”, even “meditative”. It can free us from writer’s block and get the “creative juices” going. It can be inventive and creative, opening up new insights, perspectives and different ways of looking at things and situations. Natalie suggests that erasure poetry creates a space where we can be a writer without using an original word – thus taking the pressure off to start from scratch, particularly when we are exhausted or overwhelmed through the challenges of daily life and the human condition.

Reflection

Several of the contributors to Suleika’s Book of Alchemy are experiencing (or have experienced) chronic illness, including Suleika herself who has leukemia (diagnosed at age 22). The contributors discuss writing for healing and explain how journalling has helped them through the highs and lows of chronic illness.

Suleika turned to journalling during her periods of treatment including chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants. In her words, “journaling went from a favorite pastime to a lifeline”. Initially she started with the 100-day project, developed by Michael Bierut, which basically involved undertaking a creative act (of your choice) each day for 100 days. Both her parents were supportive and led by example (her mother being creative with ceramics while her father “wrote a daily memory from his childhood”).

Suleika chose journalling for her 100-day project and indicated that instead of giving in to a sense of hopelessness, she was able to “trace the contours of what she was thinking and feeling and gain a sense of agency over it”. However, after “four harrowing years of treatment” she gave up journalling. She was “lost in translation” for a year – having to process her new reality that had negatively impacted her heart and body.

Suleika became fear-driven and stale. So, to break with this downward spiral, she undertook a 15,000 mile solo road trip across country and visited people on-route, capturing their stories in the process. A key journal entry at the time stated, “It is possible to alter the course of my becoming”.

On returning to New York Suleika moved “to a log cabin in Vermont”. There she faced the challenge of writing her memoir – with self-doubts abounding. Her way through was to “set a daily word count” for her memoir writing. However, her inner-critic about writing a memoir overtook her. Suleika then returned to journalling and used the “morning pages” method made popular by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way.

When this new method of journalling failed to stimulate her creativity, Suleika turned to the writings of inspirational authors such as the Journals of Sylvia Plath. She also drew on the creative works of women who shared their stories about chronic illness and its effects on mind, heart and body. Suleika concluded that reading, just like journalling, can “alchemize isolation into creative solitude”.

Reading, too, can help us grow in mindfulness and increase our self-awareness, awareness of the world around us and of the people in our inner and outer circles. Suleika’s book not only provides her own story of resilience through the pursuit of creativity, but also gives snippets of the lives, challenges and successes of the 100 contributors through their short essays and writing prompts. The Book of Alchemy offers endless stimulation for our own daily journalling. The benefits that accrue as a result include enriched creativity, heightened gratitude and enhanced equanimity.
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Image by Warren Griffiths from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Mindfulness for Writing

In a previous post I discussed writing poems as a mindfulness practice. It appears that the benefits of writing and mindfulness practices are bi-directional – writing develops mindfulness and mindfulness practices (such as meditation) can facilitate writing. This latter concept was a sub-theme of the recent Healing Through Writing Festival hosted by Janelle Hardy.

Mindfulness for writing

During the Healing Through Writing Festival, April Davila offered a pre-recorded session on ways to use mindfulness practices to make writing flow more easily. April made the point that there are many obstacles that can impede us as a writer, including perfectionism, distractions, negative self-stories, imposter syndrome and fear about outcomes. Even writers as famous and accomplished as Simone de Beauvoir were beset by self-doubts and fears of not being good enough.

April explained that writing becomes more difficult and more painful as you become more accomplished because your own expectations and those of others increase – it is harder to please yourself and others about the quality of your writing. You can become a constant self-critic, finding fault with every aspect of your writing. Simone, for example, started a new novel in 1933 but abandoned it because she thought “characters in her first novel lacked depth”.

After completing her Graduate Certificate in Writing in 2010, April found that writing her first novel was very difficult. While undertaking a marketing job, she would get up at 5am to begin work on her novel – a practice she employed for years without achieving her desired outcomes. Her short stories were being rejected and her novel was not progressing. However, in 2016, everything changed for her with acceptance of her short stories and publication of her award-winning novel, 142 Ostriches, in 2020.

April explained in her session that what changed in terms of her writing approach was the integration of mindfulness into her writing routine. She spoke of “habit stacking” – using existing habits as a lever to develop new habits. Her existing daily habit began with coffee followed by journal writing and then writing her novel/short story. By interposing a 10-minute meditation between journalling and beginning her creative writing, April found that she increased her focus, overcame writer’s block, became more creative in character development and more resilient in dealing with rejections by publishers.

April contends that “writing demands attention, clarity and emotional presence” – all of which are difficult to achieve in a world full of “noise”, but which are identified benefits of mindfulness meditation. She offers a “10-Minute Reset for Your Writing Brain” in her blog post, Mindfulness and the Writing Life: How Meditation Supports Creativity. In another blog post, How Mindfulness Can Make Writing Easier, April advocates for starting small with mindfulness practices and applying the same small principle to writing sessions.

April offers a 6-weeks course, Write More, Suffer Less, covering topics such as mindfulness practices, finding focus, managing resistance and fear, and developing calm and equanimity, The online classes incorporate writing exercises, guided meditation and brief lessons. Writers are waiting expectantly for April’s new book, Sit. Write. Here: 6 Mindfulness Practices to Help You Write More and Suffer Less.

How does mindfulness help the writing process?

There are many benefits that accrue through regular mindfulness practices, especially through daily meditation. Some of the benefits relevant to the writing process are discussed below:

Developing positive habits – Leo Babauta, a world leader in habit development, contends that “mindfulness is the key to habit change”. This relates to whether we are developing a writing habit and/or other habits related to writing, e.g. reading, reflecting or making notes. Sometimes this will involve overcoming bad habits which Leo found in his own life because of his addictions. Leo maintains from his own experience that mindfulness can help to overcome obstacles that impede forming a new habit. He is the author of The Habit Guide: Zen Habits’ Effective Habit Methods + Solutions and creator of the Zen Habits blog. Like April, Leo argues for starting small both in terms of developing a mindfulness habit and creating any other habit change.
Cultivating flow – engaging in a mindful practice before writing creates the preconditions for achieving “flow”. These include preparation, focus and attention. Adopting a mindfulness practice, however brief, before commencing writing serves as a preparation ritual and facilitates what April describes as “dropping into a state of flow”. Mindfulness develops both focus and attention – the other preconditions for ”being-in-the-zone”. In his book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, Daniel Goleman maintains (from his research) that mindfulness meditation can cultivate excellence through developing focus and concentration. Janice Marturano argues that we can develop focus and clarity in our endeavours (such as writing) by undertaking a mindful pause through one of the many mindfulness practices available today.
Identifying blind spots – our blind spots can impact many facets of our life besides writing. Blind spots can operate cognitively and/or behaviourally. They can negatively impact our writing by making us blind to what is going on within us and outside of ourselves. Mindfulness trainer Kelly Boys, author of The Blind Spot Effect: How to Stop Missing What’s Right in Front of You, offers a meditative exercise to help us to identify our core blindspot.
Developing self-awareness and emotional regulation – Daniel Goleman, co-author of Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain and Body, describes emotional self-awareness as the capacity “to recognize our own emotional reactions” and considers it foundational to developing emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence, in turn, enables us to better manage our emotions and achieve what is often termed “emotional regulation” – the capacity to handle emotions such as resentment, envy, frustration, disappointment and anger. In his book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, Daniel contends that mindfulness meditation helps us to manage our emotions as well as our focus and attention.

Reflection

I wrote the following poem after reflecting on what I have written in this post and drawing on my own experience of the impacts of mindfulness on my writing:

Mindfulness for Writing

A small start to a long journey:
exploring within and without,
a journey into the inner landscape,
knowing and understanding triggers,
identifying feelings and initating thoughts,
throwing light on blind spots,
making space for creative solutions,
opening to the needs of others,
seeing the world in a new light.

_______________________________________

Image by Thomas G. from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Managing A Flare-Up from Fish Poisoning

Flare-ups are a common occurrence with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) – triggers (such as food or chemical intolerance) can exacerbate existing symptoms of immune hyperactivity or be a catalyst for new symptoms to occur. Managing these flare-ups is a constant challenge for someone like me who has MCAS, as their occurrence is often unpredictable and, sometimes, confounding.

Creating a story from a single object or event

At our October Creative Meetup, an online group for writers-with-chronic-illness, we were introduced to the idea of writing a story from an object. Our facilitator, Jennifer Crystal, showed a video of Billy Collins reading his poem, Lanyard, as an example of how this is done.

The idea of focusing on an event or object is also illustrated by Melissa Febos in her book, The Dry Season, a memoir about her conscious choice of twelve months of celibacy after a tempestuous time of cyclical relationships that proved to be harmful to her health and self-esteem. In particular, she focused on her “maelstrom”, a two-year toxic relationship with another woman that proved to be controlling and destructive and was the catalyst for her chosen period of celibacy.

Throughout her memoir, Melissa revisits this event (story object) to highlight its impact and to serve as a benchmark against which to evaluate other potential relationships. Her period of celibacy was designed to provide sufficient distance from the maelstrom to facilitate self-insight, overcome her fear, find herself again (having suffered from “the-need-to-please”) and to achieve peace with her experience of the maelstrom.

Creating my story of a recent flare-up

At our Creative Meetup, we were encouraged to write our own story using one or both of the following prompts:

Make a list of five prompts you associate with your story. Pick one and write about it (poetry or prose) OR
Write something (poetry or prose) that includes all five objects.

I chose to address the second prompt and drafted a poem around the five objects I identified that were associated with my recent flare-up:

fish, hives, rash, poisoning, pain

The poem that I have included at the end of this post is the outcome of my writing and reflection as well as the group sharing and discussion that occurred during the Meetup session. Participants shared their writing and their vulnerability in stunning prose and poetry (given they had only 20 minutes to write their story).

A flare-up from fish poisoning

My story began with having Red Emperor, a wild-caught fish, for dinner. I am allergic to soy so I avoid farmed fish that are typically fed on soy products. I thought it would be safe to eat the Red Emperor as it is not farmed but wild caught in deep waters such as those off the coast in Northern Australia.

What I experienced, however, is an immediate reaction to the Red Emperor (unlike previously where I had eaten it without negative consequences). My body reacted strongly this time – resulting in a bright red rash on both upper arms, accompanied by itchy hives and a burning sensation on my affected skin as well as night sweating and headache.

This led me to do personal research on “fish allergy”. What I established is that there are two major forms of fish poisoning:

ciguatera poisoning
scombroid, also known as histamine poisoning.

My first thought was that I had experienced histamine poisoning given histamine intolerance stemming from my MCAS chronic illness. However, on further research, I established that the reaction is more likely to be caused by ciguatera poisoning. The symptoms of each form of fish poisoning are similar but the causes differ substantially; a distinctive symptom of ciguatera poisoning is “extreme itchiness” which was my experience.

Histamine poisoning is caused by bacteria developing on dead fish that have been stored ineffectively (e.g. not deep frozen or stored on ice). Ciguatera poisoning, in contrast, results from the food chain which commences with small fish eating marine toxin produced by algae in reefs and being consumed by larger reef fish which are then consumed by humans.

Ciguatera poisoning is more common in fish that live in warm waters and “spend some or most of their time in reefs”. Red Emperor is explicitly implicated in carrying this form of fish poisoning. Freezing, cooking or cleaning do not destroy the ciguatera toxins. The presence of ciguatera toxins are not visually detectable, nor can allergy to the toxin be detected by allergy testing.

Recovery from ciguatera poisoning

A disturbing fact is that ciguatera poisoning symptoms can recur without further exposure to a poisoning source. The likelihood of symptom recurrence is increased by drinking alcohol. Recommendations for recovery include avoiding fish for at least 6 months and abstaining from alcohol for 3 months after eating the toxic fish.

A detailed article on ciguatera poisoning in the National Library of Medicine maintains that relapses in symptoms “may be triggered by consuming alcohol, nuts, seeds, fish, chicken, and eggs”. The authors advise that “patients should be counselled to avoid fish, caffeine, alcohol, and nuts within 6 months of poisoning”.

The itch and burning sensation from ciguatera poisoning made it difficult to sleep despite the use of Dexeryl – “an emollient cream that reduces irritation, itching and scratching”. Eventually, I had to resort to using Eleuphrat, a type of Cortisone cream, to reduce the itch and pain and enable me to sleep.

I have had a series of flare-ups since the initial contamination after eating Red Emperor. The first was following a glass of wine; the second after eating a salmon and avocado sushi roll. Others involve accidental consumption of egg or chicken. Research has shown that farmed salmon, typically used in sushi, can lead to ciguatera poisoning because of toxins in the fish food.

One of the problems associated with fish poisoning is that you can tolerate a particular type of fish at one point and yet at a later time react severely to eating it, sometimes with fatal consequences. For example, a newspaper report recounted the case of a father-to-be who collapsed after eating barramundi at a restaurant and died five days later in hospital. He had experienced tingling in his mouth a few years before when eating barramundi. A Victorian health website identifies barramundi as one of the more common causes of fish allergy.

Reflection

It is easy to jump to a conclusion re the cause of symptoms without undertaking the necessary research and/or seeking medical advice. The problem of accurate diagnosis of symptoms is compounded by cross-contamination and the commonality of symptoms (e.g. hives and rash) among various food allergies.

For example, consumption of coffee can cause a rash and itchy hives resulting from histamine poisoning caused by impurities in coffee such as “molds, mycotoxins, pesticide residues, yeasts, and other biogenic amines”. Purity Coffee seeks to provide quality coffee beans and a coffee process to avoid these issues and enable people with MCAS and histamine intolerance to have their regular coffee.

We can be more mindful of the factors influencing our symptoms if we take time to research and reflect on our findings and related experiences. As we grow in mindfulness, we can become more self-aware and conscious of what is impacting our body and develop creative ways of achieving recovery from ill-health.

I developed the following poem In reflecting on my experience with ciguatera poisoning:

The Flare-Up

Flaring up like a campfire flame,
fighting feverishly a toxic invader.

Redness spreading across swollen ridges,
a painful path of itch and burning sensations.

Awash in a sea of marine toxins,
overwhelmed by a challenged immune system.

Elimination diet a testing time,
complex interactions of food and drink.

Seeking answers through research and inquiry,
wild caught fish traced as the trigger.

Unanswered questions,
uncertain future,
unpredictable outcomes.

Where is my anchor?

__________________________________________

This post is provided for information purposes only and is not intended to replace personal medical advice provided by a trained medical practitioner. Please seek advice from a qualified professional before deciding on treatments for yourself or other members of your family. This article reflects my personal patient experience – MCAS and related diseases affect each individual differently. I frequently share my research findings with my medical practitioner and this informs my treatment.

____________________________________________

Image by Thomas from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Finding Inspiration When Living with Chronic Illness

I have previously written about the inspiration provided by Joni Mitchell and her remarkable life as a singer/songwriter despite experiencing multiple chronic illnesses. Joni’s song Both Sides Now epitomizes her approach to chronic illness – accepting both the dark and the light in her life. Like many inspiring people she made the most of the light (the good things) in her life. Joni was rewarded with multiple Grammy Awards and induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

During the recent online Creative Meetup (for writers-with-chronic-illness), our facilitator, Jennifer Crystal introduced a book by Jean-Dominique Bauby, titled The Diving-Bell & the Butterfly. This book is incredibly inspiring as it shows Jean-Dominique’s ability to make the most of what was a totally debilitating situation. His book composed under extremely difficult conditions is replete with humour and a commitment to make the most of his devastating chronic illness.

At the time of experiencing his illness he was Editor-in-Chief of the famous Elle France – Elle being the “the world’s largest fashion and lifestyle magazine”. While in his early forties, when he was married with two children, he suffered a massive stroke, resulting in a condition known as “locked-in syndrome (LiS)” – “total paralysis but still have consciousness and their normal cognitive functions”. All he could do physically was turn his head and wink with his left eye. Though he frequently experienced pain, he could not breathe, eat or swallow without assistance.

Jean-Dominque described his bodily condition as being “imprisoned in an invisible diving-bell”, while his mind was free to roam “like a butterfly”. He used his very limited capabilities to revisit his memories and undertake virtual exploration of the world at large. Though he often described his body as a “cocoon”, he was not mentally constrained by its disabling limitations.

He used his imagination., for example, to picture his colleagues from 28 countries, striding behind their CEO on route to a major fashion conference where they would be discussing the metaphysical question “What is the ideal Elle woman?”. Even though he had never been to Hong Kong, the site of the conference, he was able to picture the demeanour of his international colleagues and imagine the location and proceedings.

The Diving-Bell serves as a memoir of Jean-Dominique’s time in a Navy hospital after suffering his stroke. It captures his shock and disorientation on waking from a 20-day coma to find that he was totally paralysed and unable to talk. He shares intimate details of his hospital experience and his mental roaming with his uniquely dry humour.

Communicating with locked-in syndrome

In his memoir, Jean-Dominique explains how he was able to communicate by virtue of his “Guardian Angel”, a speech therapist, who devised an alphabet with the letters of the alphabet arranged in order of the frequency of their use in the French language. People, medical staff and visitors, could point to the letters in turn and he would wink to indicate that they had chosen the letter he was trying to convey. This tiresome and slow process enabled him to express his discomfort, needs and wishes.

The constructed alphabet was the method of communication that he used to dictate his book to Claude Mendibil who was transcribing his communications for publishing. Jean-Dominque stated that he frequently revised letter and words in his head and would memorise paragraphs to communicate them to Claude via this special alphabet.

In true humorous style, Jean-Dominique described his visitors in terms of their ability to utilize the newly devised alphabet to understand his communications. There were the taciturn people, nervous and reluctant to get a letter or word wrong; the impulsive who rushed in and anticipated what he was going to communicate (usually getting it wrong) and who saved him the effort of communicating by asking questions and answering them themselves; and the meticulous people who feared they would make a mistake and took things so incredibly slowly that it made an already tedious process more painful and demanding.

Experience of medical professionals in the hospital

Jean-Dominique’s sense of being “locked in” was further aggravated by the callous treatment he received at the hands of some medical staff. For example, an ophthalmologist arrived at his bedside unannounced and proceeded to sow together the eyelids of his right eye because the eyelids did not close in that eye – thus exposing his eye to infection (as he subsequently learned from someone else).

Jean-Dominique described the ophthalmologist as brusque and arrogant with “a couldn’t care less attitude”. He wondered (in his mind) whether such an uncaring medical professional was retained by the hospital to serve as a target for patients’ dislike of, or dissatisfaction with, their overall hospital treatment. He himself frequently felt anger but kept it at a manageable level , ”like a pressure cooker”, to prevent uncontrolled release of this emotion.

There were also two orderlies who “unceremoniously dumped” him in a wheelchair (like a piece of dead meat). Jean-Dominque’s way of managing his own maltreatment at the hands of some medical staff was to silently assign them descriptive names such as “the exterminator”. He did, however, appreciate the care and concern offered by other medical staff.

Dealing with false rumours

Jean-Dominique not only had to deal with his locked-in syndrome but also with harmful rumours that circulated in Paris about his health condition. As false rumours began to circulate, he decided to provide Bulletins to his circle of friends and associates (initially 60 people) to report on his life, his progress and his hopes. He indicated that the first bulletin “repaired some of the damage caused by rumour”. He heard that the City had “put him down for the count” or, at the very least, that he was in a “vegetable state”. He was particularly critical of patrons of Café de Flore, “one of those base camps of Parisian snobbery that sent up rumours like flights of carrier pigeons”. His friends overheard a conversation in the Café where he was being described as a “complete vegetable”.

His correspondence provided “gratifying results” in the form of return letters and the realisation of people that they could ”join him in his cocoon” through writing to him. This resulted in a daily ritual whereby letters were opened for him and “spread out before his eyes”. This proved to be a revelatory process about the character and personality of his contacts.

Reflection

Jean-Dominique demonstrated that although you may be bedridden or severely handicapped, you can travel, at least virtually, by using your memory or intentional imagination. This mental roaming has been facilitated recently by the free release of drone images of multiple countries and scenic sites. I also have a gift from one of my daughters – a digital photo album that can serve to stimulate my memory of places I have visited including Paris, London, Bath, Rome, Lake Como, Turin, Venice and Cartagena.

In out Creative Meetup, after we were introduced to The Diving-Bell & the Butterfly, we were given two prompts for our reflection and writing:

Even if bed-ridden (or compromised in any way),where do you travel in your mind?
How has illness impacted your ability to travel? You can write about a specific travel experience from the past or one you hope to have in the future.

As I reflected on these questions I became acutely aware that my present chronic health conditions severely restrict my capacity to fly long distances. In particular, my multilevel spinal degeneration makes lying or sitting in one place for any length of time very difficult, sometimes resulting in sciatica, a condition I experienced previously following a trip from Milan to Hong Kong. This realisation saddened me, but I resolved to take on board Jean-Dominque’s inspiring journey and undertake virtual travel journeys, aided by visual technology.

Mindfulness practices can help us to regulate our emotions, appreciate what we do have and can do and be more aware of nature and its capacity to inspire wonder and awe. As we grow in mindfulness, we can find creative solutions to our limitations and constraints.

I composed the following poem when reflecting on our discussion and writing:

Finding Inspiration

There is inspiration everywhere,
if we seek to become aware.

Portability through podcasts,
audibility through audiobooks.

People creatively managing multiple challenges,
resolving restrictions and incredible constraints.

Driven by passion and purpose,
to rethink, reframe and redefine.

Sharing without stint,
shaping their environment.

Their agency hard-earned,
Look, listen and learn.

__________________________________________

Image by Pierre Blaché from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

To Care for Ourself is to Care for the World

Self-care is often considered to be narcissistic or self-indulgent in a fast-paced world where we have multiple responsibilities and ever-changing demands. However, the reality is that in caring for ourself, protecting ourself from burnout, we are able to give time and energy from a place of abundance rather than from depletion.

In a previous post, I wrote about strategies suggested by various experts on how to manage ourselves in times of overwhelm. The focus in that article was on the overwhelm resulting from external events and circumstances as well as from our own health situation such as chronic illness.

In a talk given for UCLA Health, Diana Winston focused on the internal causes of “overwhelm”, namely, our own self-stories and patterns of thinking and doing. Her talk, Taking Care of Myself I Take Care of the World, focused on what we can do to redress the frenzied state of our lives as we endlessly pursue multiple conflicting goals. Diana stressed the need to prevent personal overwhelm, exhaustion and burnout and offered strategies for addressing this modern-day challenge.

The internal messaging that drives us

We might be caught up in activism over climate change, addressing issues of domestic violence or working to help redress the growing levels of homelessness. We might think that we must be doing something to help those in need and cannot rest until these needs are met. Diana cautions us that working in a frenzy is not going to enable us to make a “long-run, sustainable contribution”. She argues that if we are operating from “depletion”, we cannot give to the world in a “real and meaningful way”.

Diana quoted Thomas Merton who talks about self-violence when people over-commit in the face of conflicting demands. He argues that “frenzy” depletes our inner peace and “kills the root of wisdom that makes work fruitful”. This raises the question as to why we work in a frenzy when such a state destroys both the rewards and productivity of our work.

Diana suggests that sometimes this need to help everyone and “commit to too many people” comes from a sense of self-identity, needing to do something compassionate to feel validated. It might also be that it makes us “feel okay” if we are doing something to help others, we feel useful and not “empty” or useless. Diana acknowledged that in an early period of trying to help everybody all the time, she was working from a sense of feeling “not enough”, her inner voice was critical of her output.

Meditation and reflection to reverse frenzy

Thomas Merton argues that “we are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being”. Diana maintains that we can recapture our sense of being-in-the-world through meditation and deep reflection. In the process we can unearth our negative patterns of thinking and gain clarity about the way forward for peace and productivity.

Diana argues for scheduling “a time of not-doing” in our diaries so that we can become less frenzied and less focused on doing. We can change our attitude from “running out of time” to expanding our time through delegation, asking for help and learning to act more productively and calmly by devoting some time to self-care. We can then contribute to the world through “overflow’, rather than depletion.

Diana also argues for the process of self-resourcing, building “positive states of mind” through pleasurable activities. This can involve forest bathing, meeting with friends, spending time in our garden, journalling, blogging, and engaging in compassion practices. We can imagine beautiful places that have brought us joy or revisit activities such as pickleball that offer enjoyment and fun. Tai Chi, meditation-in-motion, is another way to replenish our inner resources and develop our overall health and fitness.

When we don’t care for ourselves

When we get consumed by our work and frenzied activity we exhaust ourselves and operate from a state of depletion. Burnout, for example, causes depletion on the physical, mental and spiritual levels. We become tired and exhausted, overly negative and cynical and lose a sense of meaning in what we are doing.

Diana points out that we can’t give to others from this state of “emptiness”. Self-nurturing can rebuild “our bathtub” so that we can offer service and help from a state of “surplus” rather than deficit. When we are in deficit, every small challenge appears large and adds to our depletion. We become short-tempered, impatient and critical of others. So many things are seen to “stand in our way”.

Diana suggests that The Nap Bishop, Tricia Hersey, has a lot to offer through her focus on rest and relaxation. In her book, Rest Is Resistance, Tricia promotes the idea of napping, being prepared to say “no” and upholding personal boundaries as ways to “free yourself from the grind culture and reclaim your life”. She argues that in this approach lies true liberation and justice.

Reflection

When I think about self-care, what immediately comes to mind is my weekly glass of wine that I have to relax and wind down from the week. I rationalise this aberration from my diet on the grounds that it helps me focus away from work and is restful. However, with my chronic illness of MCAS, drinking alcohol is not self-care but self-harm. When I really reflect on what alcohol does to my body and mind, I have to ask myself, “Why do I persist in having my one glass a week when I know it is injurious to my health?”

As I grow in mindfulness through meditation, reflection and mindfulness practices, I can gain a greater insight into what drives my behaviour and develop the courage to create change so that self-care becomes a priority.

As part of this reflection, I wrote the following poem to help me unearth my thought patterns and reframe wine as self-harm, not self-care. Wine can no longer be viewed by me as a reward – it is a source of harm.

What is There About Alcohol?

What is the attraction?
like light to a moth.

It hurts my head,
makes my throat sore.

It damages my stomach,
strains my liver.

It aggravates my arthritis,
disturbs my sleep.

The pain outlasts the pleasure,
a mythical creation.

Is it for companionship?
Is it for conformity?
Is it for comfort?
Is it for control?

What do we see in this delusion,
where are the rewards?

_________________________________________

Image by Niels Zee from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Discovering Pickleball – An Alternative to Tennis

I never thought I would be writing a post that elevates pickleball to a similar level as tennis. As a “tennis tragic” I thought that pickleball was not the “real thing” as it is played on a court the same size as badminton and is promoted as a mix of this sport together with table tennis and tennis. It clearly hasn’t the depth of traditions of tennis and the great battles of the Grand Slams and Davis Cup matches. My disparagement of pickleball was shared by many in my tennis fraternity.

Necessity is the stimulus for innovation and a mind shift

I found as winter progressed again in Brisbane that the arthritis in the middle finger of my playing hand had worsened to the point that I had difficulty holding my tennis racquet and playing tennis caused a lot of pain. Added to this, was the ever-present threat of exercise asthma caused by exertion in the cold air (I take a couple of puffs of my inhaler before playing to prevent an asthma attack occurring).

The arthritis in my finger makes it difficult to execute my tennis shots with any consistency to the point that the attraction of experiencing competence in the game of tennis is diminished considerably and is replaced by frustration at not being able to execute what I have been able to do previously without difficulty. The arthritic condition of my finger is aggravated by “allergic arthritis” brought on by my MCAS chronic illness.

I have not been able to use my first serve in tennis for a number of years as it puts too much pressure on my weakened back. A recent diagnosis of multilevel disc degeneration in my spine has made this even more critical.

Ageing and pickleball

As I age, I lose speed in my reflexes, stamina in my body, strength in my arms and legs and overall fitness. While I use walking, stretch exercises and Tai Chi to offset these diminishing physical capabilities, there is an inevitability about the downward trend owing to wear and tear over many years.

The experts in ageing tell us that we can prevent the onset of dementia by physical and mental activity, especially by learning new skills that involve a cognitive component. For tennis players, pickleball requires a new language (paddle instead of racquet, dink instead of a drop shot) as well as new rules. New rules to learn for pickleball doubles include:

You have to be serving to earn a point
With the exception of the first serve of a game, once one server (Server 1) loses a point, their partner (Server 2) starts serving until they lose a point (then serving reverts to the opposing team)
For the first serve of the first game, the first server is treated as Server 2 and once they lose a point, the serve immediately reverts to the opposing team (this can be difficult to get your head around!)
You are not allowed to volley in the “Kitchen” (an area seven feet from the net which exists on both sides of the net).
You have to serve underarm
Double bounce rule – the server must let the return bounce before hitting the ball (unlike tennis where you can volley a service return).

While there are competitions and international tournaments dedicated to young pickleball players, there are distinct advantages of pickleball for older people. These advantages include:

It is not as physically demanding as tennis
There is a strong social element to the game (if you do not play competition)
There are protocols for frequent rest breaks/drink breaks
The rotation system enables at least an eleven-minute break (the length of a game) when your time off the court arrives
You can take advantage of your competencies in other racquet sports acquired over the years
The Kitchen rules re volleying “keeps the athletically and physically superior from dominating the game”
It helps to maintain fitness and the motivation to keep fit
The underarm service action places a lot less pressure on your back in comparison to the overhead motion of a tennis serve. (This has proved important for me as a recent diagnosis of neuropathy led to the discovery of multilevel disc degeneration in my spine.)
Provides a chance to meet new people and extend your social network
It can be played at various levels ranging from social to Advanced (competitive and tournament play); “social” means social. As one Pickleball trainer/coordinator explained – in social pickleball you are meant to play to the level of the opposition (e.g. withholding more advanced shots when playing beginners) – an ethos rarely shared in social tennis.

Using pre-existing skills and competencies

One of the attractions for me in pickleball (being a new arena for me) is the opportunity to try out different shots each time I play. Unlike a tennis racquet, the pickleball paddle does not have strings and the ball comes off the paddle differently to a tennis racquet. While you may have competencies in spinning, volleying, lobbying and smashing from playing tennis, you have to make adjustments when using a pickleball paddle with a plastic ball.

The bounce of the ball is very different and requires a lot of knee bending. However, the challenges associated with a new “bat” and ball make it necessary to make adjustments to playing shots and to learn new skills.

Existing tennis skills such as anticipation and preparation can stand you in good stead when playing pickleball. You can also draw on different spins you have mastered such as topspin, backspin and slice. For those who have mastered the two-handed backhand in tennis, there are pickleball bats with an extended grip to enable two-handed shots.

Competency in devising game strategy is transferable from tennis to pickleball. For example, tennis drills designed to develop skills in controlling the net in tennis doubles can be drawn on when playing pickleball. This could involve drop shops (dinks), or playing the ball long, sliced or angled to place an opponent at a disadvantage. Other tennis drills associated with playing the ball down the line can come in handy in pickleball as very few people use (or able to use) this strategy in social pickleball.

Reflection

In a previous post I explained how tennis can help us to grow in mindfulness by developing our focus on the present moment, improving our capacity to pay attention, increasing our ability to act with intention and strengthening our resolve to “accept what is” (both our mental and physical capabilities at the time and those of our playing partner and opponents). Likewise, pickleball can provide growth in mindfulness as a rich fringe benefit, especially when we play socially and choose, on purpose, to play at the level of our opponents.

I have also shared how I have found that Tai Chi, as a regular mindfulness practice, can develop tennis competence by improving concentration, coordination, reflexes and the ability to tap into heightened insight and instinctive responses embodied in body memory. I’m discovering that this is true also of pickleball as I unconsciously access tennis skills developed over many years of tennis practice and playing.

In reflecting previously on my tennis game and skill, I wrote a poem called, For the Love of Tennis. Reflecting on my discussion of pickleball, I have now developed an Ode to Pickleball titled, For the love of Pickleball.

For the Love of Pickleball

Pickleball can be playful and fun:
Accessing our childlike creativity,
Building partner relationships.

It can promote growth:
Learning a new language, rules and skills,
Growing in mindfulness and sensitivity.

It can develop competence:
Using new tools in different ways,
Experiencing joy in execution.

It can enhance fitness:
Using new muscles,
Increasing motivation to stay fit.

Pickleball for quality of life and longevity:
Learning, laughing and enriching,
Moving beyond limited mindsets.

_________________________________________

Image by Nils from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Using Bodily Sensations as an Anchor for Mindful Walking

Diana Winston, Director of UCLA Mindful, introduced the idea of bodily sensations as an anchor in meditation. As she was specifically explaining standing and walking meditations (in lieu of sitting meditation), she focused on the sensations in our hands, our legs and our feet.

Diana’s guided meditation podcast was one of the free, weekly podcasts offered by meditation teachers at UCLA Mindful. At the outset, she explained the concept of an anchor in meditation.

Diana asked us to envisage a ship’s anchor keeping a ship in place despite being buffeted by winds and tidal surges. The analogy means that a “meditation anchor” serves to help us maintain our focus despite being “buffeted” by our thoughts and emotions. Just as a ship is surrounded by water, we are immersed in our thoughts and emotions – a fact of life that is inescapable.

The secret power of meditation is the capacity to constantly return to our focus despite ongoing distractions and our anchor supports this process. Over time this capacity builds concentration and resilience as we develop the ability to deal with “negative self-talk”, difficult emotions and the vicissitudes of the human condition.

A standing meditation

Diana suggested that we explore a standing meditation by slowly shifting our weight from one foot to the other. She pointed out that a lot of our functions such as standing and walking are performed unconsciously. Meditation involves paying attention to specific functions/activities as they occur and, in the process, exploring the bodily sensations that occur with a sense of curiosity and openness. It also involves accepting things as they are, e.g. accepting an inability to stand for longer than two minutes or unevenness of our posture due to a spinal injury.

As we shifted from one foot to the other, Diana asked us to pay attention to the sensations in our legs and feet. We can notice the added pressure on one foot as we move our weight from the other foot. We can notice tightening of the muscles in the weight-bearing leg . As part of the process of a standing meditation, we can effect a progressive focus on each of the muscles in our leg and then focus on the sensations in our foot. There could even be the experience of muscle spasms or cramping. Diana encourages us to undertake the standing meditation being conscious of our physical limitations, e.g. if we are unable to stand without pian, then a sitting meditation is a better option.

A walking meditation

A walking meditation involves walking slowly while being conscious of the physical sensations as we raise and lower our feet. It takes considerable discipline to slow down enough in our hectic world to pay attention to minute bodily sensations. However, the act of mindful walking can create a sense of calm and peace if we maintain the focus on our anchor.

We can also add surrounding sounds as an additional focus. On my morning walks in another area, I used to listen to the call of birds that were in bushes above, below and beyond me. This focus enhanced the practice of mindful walking for me.

In previous posts I have detailed approaches to mindful walking inside and mindful walking outside. The latter approach can incorporate awareness of all the senses, a form of natural awareness.

Reflection

Through much of life we hasten to get somewhere or to achieve a goal, e.g. a fitness goal as we walk or run at pace over a specified distance. Mindful walking helps us to become more conscious of our surrounds and our bodily sensations. The process enables us to slow down, detach from our goal-oriented behaviour and build our capacity for natural awareness, being in nature with curiosity and wonder.

As we grow in mindfulness, we can enhance our self-awareness, build our concentration and capacity to focus, develop emotional regulation and experience equanimity. The following reflective poem, that I wrote as I developed this post, communicates something of the magic of mindful walking:

Mindful Walking

Slowly walking seeing what surrounds us,
Sounds surfacing from hidden spaces near and far,
Sensations seeping into our consciousness.

Anchored in our body,
Mindful of our sensations,
Calm and peace pervade.

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Image by 춘성 강 from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

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