mindful listening – Grow Mindfulness

The Need for Mindful Listening by Doctors

After completing my last blog post about Dr. Rafael Campo’s view that poetry expresses the rhythm of the body, I began to reflect further on my recent medical experience. Rafael contends that doctors can access the “interior story” of a patient by listening to the poetry of the patient. The patient’s medical story encapsulated in their poem provides the “context” for the evolution of the patient’s illness.

Uncovering strong emotions

On writing about Rafael’s perspective on what makes a “good doctor”, I began to realise that my “interior story” was really one of resentment and frustration with my recent treatment by doctors and specialist consultants. It has been difficult for me to own this part of my medical story because of my inherent respect for doctors and their calling to help people in need of medical assistance.

In the past, I had focused on the “data” about my medical story . For example, when I wrote the poem The Sounds of My Medical Story, I was very focused on eliciting the sounds and not on exploring the meaning and feelings behind them. Through a process reflection, I became more aware of the disruptive nature of my chronic illnesses and my frustration about the lack of support from the medical profession.

It was left to me to find a way to tone down the sounds/noise of my body by exploring “periods of silence and solitude” so that my body could emit a “soft pattern of soothing sounds”. I have found these soothing sounds disturbed on a number of occasions recently when my body reacted to specific foods and elevated my heart rate to twice its normal level (from 50 beats per minute to 110 beats per minute) for a period of hours.

Lack of knowledge and understanding of many doctors

Part of the problem is that there is a lack of knowledge and understanding amongst doctors and specialist consultants in relation to my core dermatitis and digestive illness, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). In consequence, there is a tendency to deny its existence or to ignore it as a part of my medical story.

It is interesting that one of the new questions added to the survey for the joint Influenza/COVID vaccination asks, “Do you have MCAS and do you suffer anaphylaxis from it?’. This new question for the Federally-funded, free vaccinations gives an indication that the existence of MCAS and its potentially serious impacts are recognised by some medical professionals in positions of authority.

In contrast, last year I had asked my gastroenterologist to undertake a biopsy during my routine colonoscopy to diagnose officially whether or not I had MCAS (apparently, a biopsy is the only reliable way to test the presence of MCAS as a blood test alone does not provide the necessary information). My gastroenterologist refused on the grounds that “MCAS is a controversial area” and not accepted by all medical professionals. At the same time, he gave me the name of a specialist consultant in another area who recognises MCAS and works with patients on this illness.

Disinterest and disdain of some doctors

I subsequently obtained a referral to a specialist allergist who refused to read my medical history (that I spent hours preparing) but undertook a number of skin prick tests that showed that I was allergic to soy, wheat and dairy products among other things. He lost interest in my case when he established that I do not suffer from anaphylaxis. It was left to me to ascertain what foods, in what quantities, are harmful to my body and mind.

I then turned to my General Practitioner (GP) who has a Doctorate in Immunology and again I received no insight into MCAS and how to manage it. However, my GP referred me to a specialist dermatology clinic at a hospital because they were of the view that I would be “a good candidate for biologic treatment” as my MCAS was not under control and I was restricted to 10 foods (that were not harmful to me). No explanation of biologics or its potentially harmful effects were given to me (I had to research this treatment myself). From my own research, I have established that biologics are complex and expensive, can cause an allergic reaction and expose the body to more serious infection. They are often given by injection and can require regular visits to a hospital (e.g. fortnightly).

During my initial visit and a follow-up to the dermatology clinic, I saw two different registrars. The first took my medical history record “for the file” but did not discuss my MCAS or subsequent events such as a tick bite, Mammalian Meat Allergy or Ciguatera fish poisoning. The registrar was totally data-focused on assessing my suitability for biologics. I was given a request form for a battery of blood tests (20+) to check whether I had one of the conditions that would eliminate me from further consideration for biologics.

Apparently my blood tests results were “good” which I ascertained to mean that they did not invalidate me as a biologic candidate. On the follow-up visit to another registrar, I was not given the test results but told, after a physical examination, that I did not qualify for biologic treatment as my dermatitis “did not cover my whole body”. From the outset, I had explained that I was not interested in biologics but this was ignored.

Since my visits to the hospital dermatology clinic involved more than three hours (including travel time), I cancelled a further follow-up meeting. I received no useful help with my dermatitis (no one was interested in my symptoms or triggers) – the registrars were only interested in pursuing their biological model which, in this case, entailed biologics.

In a recent Q & A session with MCAS 360 practitioners I asked whether they supported using biologics for MCAS, the response was that they did not support this approach because it was very much trial and error as it was very difficult to determine the appropriate level of intervention and because it had potentially damaging side effects.

Reflection

Interestingly, during a live presentation by Dr. Neil Nathan, author of The Sensitive Patient’s Healing Guide, a participant from Chicago described her experience with the medical profession when she attempted to discuss her MCAS triggers and symptoms. She visited an allergist (who claimed expertise in MCAS) and “ was belittled” and told to go to a dermatologist. However, the allergist ordered a serious of tests despite saying it “was a waste of time”. The participant then visited a dermatologist who “put his hand up” and told her “to shut up”. He prescribed steroids which proved to be “useless”. The original allergist’s office rang the participant back after the test results and told her she had MCAS and needed to return. The participant chose not to return and over time progressively researched her own condition and improved her health by herself. Dr. Nathan himself, during his presentation, commented that “if you can find someone who will listen to what you are saying about how sensitive you are, that’s a godsend”.

Rafael highlights the fact that doctors are taught “detached concern and distancing”. They are “immersed in the biological model” and think only in terms of diagnosis and the “treatment algorithm”. Poetry, in contrast, expresses emotion fully and thus “abets empathy”. The cadence of poetry demands mindful listening, attention and attunement to emotive expression and the human sounds within. It challenges doctors who are caught up in endless checklists, “overwhelmed with diagnosis codes” and disabled by “distancing”.

The Health Story Collaborative is designed to close the listening and empathy gap. It creates multiple platforms for health storytelling and provides an empathetic audience of people-with-chronic-illness, as well as doctors. A supportive community is a key element in the healing journey of people with chronic illness. I have participated in HSC’s Creative Meetups for the past two years. This group of writers-with-chronic-illness meets online once a month and provides an opportunity to write about our “interior story” and to share the outcomes in this supportive community.

I have written a poem to reflect my experience with medical professionals and my feelings about their lack of listening and empathy:

The Inner Story Laid Bare

Frustration and resentment abound,
each professional with deaf ears,
not listening to my subjective medical story,
intent on objective data exploration,
missing the “interior story”.

Failing to understand the context of my chronic illness,
blind to its origins, effects and impact on quality of life,
always grasping for what is scientifically known,
shared patient experience ignored,
in the interests of a deemed correct diagnosis and treatment.

Lack of knowledge and understanding,
desensitized by a biological model,
closed to our “interior story”,
unable to listen mindfully,
unwilling to summon empathy.

A peer support community,
ready to share their health story,
prompts for prose and poetry,
collaborating to close the empathy gap,
willing to be vulnerable for each other.

If medical professionals practised some form of mindfulness they can develop the art of mindful listening to patients. Rafael Campo has used poetry as his way into mindfulness. Research demonstrates that mindfulness practices are highly effective for the medical professionals.

As they grow in mindfulness, medical professionals can enhance their physical wellbeing, reduce the risk of burnout, improve their care of patients and develop emotional regulation. Training in mindfulness, undertaken by hospitals and medical institutions, is designed “to train doctors to actively listen and engage with patients mindfully” thus increasing empathy amongst doctors and improving the accuracy of diagnosis.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Developing Compassionate Action through Mindfulness and Listening to Personal Stories

Tara Brach recently spoke to Jon Kabat-Zinn on the theme of How Mindfulness Can Heal the World. This discussion took place as part of the online Radical Compassion Challenge held over ten days in January 2020. Jon’s central theme was that that it is not enough “to sit on the cushion” and meditate at a time when the world is experiencing such suffering, injustice, racial divisions and hatred; the challenge is to take compassionate action, activated by our growing awareness of our own reality and that of the world around us developed through mindfulness.

Many doors to one room

Jon argued that there are “many doors to the one room” – not only in terms of how we deal with the “agitation” we experience in today’s world but also in terms of how we individually respond by taking action. Mindfulness can help us deal with our fear and anxiety either through experiencing that fear at a fully emotional and bodily level or by examining the fear conceptually to see its origins and its manifestation in our behaviour e.g. by blaming or judging. The compassionate action we take will depend on our circumstances, our abilities and our self-awareness. Jon, for example, stated that the Mindfulness- Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program he developed was a political and compassionate action designed to relieve suffering at a time when professors at his institution, MIT, were developing weapons of mass destruction for the Vietnam War. Tara, too, has taken compassionate action in many ways, including the establishment of Sounds True, a multimedia publishing company with a mission “To Wake Up the World”.

The role of personal stories and mindful listening

Both Jon and Tara highlighted the need to hear the stories of people who are less privileged than ourselves (e.g. in terms of their race, education, background, mental health, intellectual and physical abilities, careers, opportunities and overall wellness). While they acknowledge that mindfulness is necessary to develop awareness of ourselves and the world around us, it is insufficient by itself to stimulate compassionate action. Personal stories of suffering in its many forms can help us identify how we can take action and provide the emotional stimulus to act. Stories in the mental health arena, such as What It’s Like to Survive Depression … Again and Again, can stimulate compassionate action.

Mindfulness can help us to develop our life purpose, build resilience and develop creativity but the real challenge is to channel these into compassionate action. We are sure to encounter blockages such as our unrealistic expectations, biased assumptions, fear of failure and mistakes, but our growing awareness can help to overcome these. The challenge is to find the momentum to begin and to revisit our motivation to sustain our effort and have a real impact on some aspect of the suffering of others.

Reflection

As we grow in mindfulness, we become more aware of the suffering and pain of people in the world around us. This awareness can translate into compassionate action if we listen mindfully to the stories of people who are less privileged than ourselves. Self-awareness can heighten our acknowledgement of how much we are privileged in so many ways and help us to identify both an arena for personal action and a point of intervention. This will demand overcoming procrastination and the fears that hold our inaction in place.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

How to Resolve a Dilemma or Conflicting Polarities as a Leader

Often a leader is faced with resolving a dilemma or deciding between two different options that represent opposite polarities and are supported by different groups of people. Each of the parties, too, that support opposite perspectives are very ready to highlight the deficiencies of the other party’s perspective and ignore the deficiencies of their own option. The leader then is confronted with an “either or” situation. Both options have advantages and disadvantages.

The tendency is for the leader to come down on the side of one option or other because it might appear as the “lesser of two evils”. But even this solution depends on what priority the leader is assigning to the adverse impacts of the options – for themselves, the opposing groups, for consumers/clients or for the wider community.

Ginny Whitelaw in her book The Zen Leader suggests that each of us resolves the tension of a dilemma on a very regular basis when we are breathing. The actions of inhalation and exhalation are polar opposites, and each has advantages and disadvantages. For example, when we inhale, we can take in oxygen and refresh our blood; when we exhale, we can remove carbon dioxide and relax our body and mind. Each action – inhale or exhale – when taken to extremes (like holding our breath for too long) can have serious adverse effects on our health and wellbeing. Neither action is sufficient of itself to sustain life.

Ginny points out that for a leader to lead effectively and in a fearless way, they must move away from “either or” thinking and reframe the issue or problem. She argues that this involves a flip “from Or to And”. Ginny suggests that in the tension of a dilemma or opposite polarities lies a creative solution.

How to resolve a dilemma or conflicting polarities

Ginny maintains in her book that the real impediment to moving to the And position (resolving the dilemma), is when a leader or a group becomes locked into one option by overstating the benefits of their solution and highlighting the deficiencies of the opposing solution, while simultaneously underplaying the deficiencies of their own solution and the benefits of the opposing solution. This occurs frequently in organisational settings when leaders and their managers are engaged in strategic planning involving decisions re product/service offerings, pricing, place of operation, marketing approach or target customers/clients.

Ginny proposes a process she describes as a “paradox map” which has four quadrants that participants can work through to find a solution that encompasses the best of both options, while reducing the downsides of each. This process entails seeking out the resolution of the tension between opposites by focusing on the And.

My colleague and friend Bob Dick has described a similar process over many years which he calls “option one-and-a-half”. Bob provides a detailed process for a leader to work with a group to resolve conflicting polarities or opposing positions on an issue or problem. His group process entails identifying the advantages and disadvantages of each option and then employing a creative group problem solving process and voting to come up with a solution that incorporates the best of each option.

As I was thinking about this challenge of moving “from Or to And”, I encountered a situation where my partner and I were trying to decide how to arrange a meeting with a mutual friend who lived on an island about 45 minutes by sea from our location. I was strongly of the view that we should take a car across in the car ferry because it was convenient, provided independence and enabled flexibility when we were on the island. My friend argued that the cost of the car ferry would be exorbitant considering we were only attending a lunch meeting and would not need the flexibility of our own car while on the island.

After exploring the advantages and disadvantages of each solution we came up with the idea of having our friend travel to a location on the mainland that involved a similar travel time for each of us, reduced the costs for us and fitted in with other reasons our island friend wanted to come to the mainland. The final solution incorporated the best of both initial, opposing options – reduced cost, flexibility, independence and a bonus of being able to extend an invitation to another mutual friend to join our “catch-up” meeting on the mainland.

Reflection

Being able to flip from an “either-or” position to what Ginny describes as a position of “And“, enables us to resolve dilemmas, reduce conflict and identify creative solutions incorporating the best of opposing options. Underlying the process involved is the ability to move from a fixed position of “being right” to being able to explore the perspective of the other person or group. This entails mindful listening and the capacity to be open to alternative perspectives and solutions. As we grow in mindfulness through meditation, mindfulness practices, reflection and exploration of alternatives, we can develop the necessary self-awareness, self-management and creative capacity to have the openness and curiosity to achieve the personal flexibility required.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Re-energise through Meditation

In this day and age of hectic living, people are constantly tired or exhausted – basically drained of energy. In the absence of a conscious effort to re-energise ourselves, we can become prone to all kinds of physical and mental illness. Meditation provides multiple ways to re-energise and restore physical and mental balance.

The daily pressures at home and work can leave us drained. Added to this are increasing financial demands, adverse environmental conditions (e.g. extreme weather reflected in floods, cyclones and bushfires), increasing violence in communities and the growth of terrorism.

The human impact of these multiple pressures is reflected in constant tiredness and fatigue experienced by people of all ages, even children who are experiencing the demands of exams, parental expectations and university entry requirements. This constant energy drain can be reflected in many illnesses, not the least of these being chronic fatigue syndrome. Alan Jansson, Japanese acupuncturist with more than 30 years experience, has noted that chronic fatigue syndrome, which used to be the province of elite athletes, is now being experienced by managers in large organisations and people of all ages, including teenagers.

Re-energising through meditation

It seems contradictory that meditation, noted for its focus on stillness and silence, should be a source of energy. In fact, there are specific guided meditations that focus on re-energising the body and mind. One such 10-minute guided meditation offers an approach designed to boost energy and build positivity.

Other forms of meditation help us to release tension and trauma, e.g. somatic meditation, remove the energy draining effects of negative thoughts, build positive energy through appreciation and expression of gratitude, and access the energy in the natural world around us through open awareness. Even mindful listening, being fully present and attuned to another person, can energise us through openness to their ideas and passionate pursuits and through the power of connection.

Reasons why meditation re-energises

The Exploration of Consciousness Research Institute (EOC), drawing on the latest resesearch, advances five reasons why meditation increases energy. These reasons are summarised below:

Meditation changes the way we respond to stress: replacing energy-sapping fear and anxiety with resilience through a reduction in the “energy-zapping” chemical, cortisol.
Boosts endorphins thus increasing calm and focus and reducing the need for energy-depleting, temporary stimulants such as “energy drinks” and coffee.
Induces deeper sleep and energy restoration through increased awareness of the present moment (not locked into the past or the future) and through an increase in the sleep-enhancing hormone, melatonin.
Boosts two key chemicals DHEA (develops overall sense of well-being) and Growth Hormone (GH) which increases our strength and energy storage. The overall effect of these two chemicals is a reduction in fatigue and an increase in the energy of motivation.
Upgrades our personal battery and recharges it – by enhancing our emotional control centre (the pre-frontal cortex) and reducing our fear centre (the amygdala).

As we grow in mindfulness through meditation, we can re-energise our personal batteries when they run low, build resilience, reduce energy-sapping emotions and chemicals, and increase chemicals that have a positive effect on our overall strength, the restorative quality of our sleep and our sense of well-being.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Meditation For Increased Energy: How & Why it Works – 5 Reasons

Developing Leadership Capacity for the Digital Age

In the previous post, I discussed the challenges posed by the digital age and shared Sky Jarrett’s perspective on how mindfulness can enable a leader to thrive in the new world of work. Rich Fernandez, in his presentation during the Mindful Leadership Online Conference, provided a complementary perspective on what leaders need to do to cultivate “future-ready” leadership capacity. Rich was formerly Director of Executive Education at Google, a Master Teacher for SIYLI and founder of Wisdom Labs .

Rich described future-ready leadership as “having the mental and emotional clarity and balance to meet all of life’s challenges, situations and people that you might encounter”. His presentation focused on how to develop these leadership characteristics.

Developing mental and emotional clarity and balance

Rich identified the following ways to develop these core leadership characteristics for the digital age:

Mindful listening – being present enough to focus on what the other person is saying and sufficiently open to understand their message and be influenced by it so that common ground can be developed. Rich suggested that the American Senator John McCain was an exemplar of mindful listening because he sought “constructive bipartisan dialogue” and enabled continual conversation to reach that elusive middle ground. Mindful listening requires a preparedness to avoid reacting mindlessly, prematurely offering a solution or pursuing an agenda.

Response flexibility – to engage in mindful listening you also need to have what Rich calls “response flexibility”- which is the agility to be able to respond appropriately and in respectful way to the other person’s communication. I have discussed a way to develop response ability in an earlier post.

Values alignment – ensuring that your behaviour actually reflects your personal values. Rich mentioned that Marc Benioff – founder, Chairman and CEO of Salesforce – is an exemplar of values alignment and puts service to the community ahead of profit. For example, he has built meditation rooms on every floor in the new, towering Salesforce building. His organisation practises business consciously so that “stakeholder management” is top of mind and is discussed as often as shareholder management – placing the needs of consumers on a least an equal footing with the wants and needs of shareholders. Rich shared a series of questions that can help a leader check their values alignment – “What are your values?”, “Why are they important to you?”, “To what extent are your words and actions aligned with your values?” [poetic licence used here].

Personal vision – this flows naturally from a consideration of values alignment. So, this is about a vision for oneself as a leader, not the organisational vision (although it is ideal that there is a strong alignment between the two). Rich poses some relevant questions from the Search Inside Yourself Program to help clarify a personal vision, “What is your vision for yourself and your life?”, “What will your legacy be – your personal contribution to the world?”, “If your life exceeded your wildest expectations, what would it look like – what is happening and what are you contributing? [some poetic licence here too]. I previously discussed Goldie Hawn as an exemplar of someone who is committed to a personal vision and has aligned her words and actions in pursuit of this vision.

As we grow in mindfulness, we can develop the desired leadership characteristics to meet the challenges of the digital age. With persistent mindfulness practice, we can develop mental and emotional clarity, achieve balance in our life, progressively expand our response flexibility, and build alignment between our words and actions and our values/personal vision.

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Image source: courtesy of pixel2013 on Pixabay

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Mindful Leadership: Self-Management

Self-management relies very heavily on self-awareness. If we are not conscious of what we are thinking, saying and doing – and the impact of our thoughts, words and actions – we are incapable of managing ourselves.

Self-management, according to the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, is “the process of managing one’s internal states, impulses and resources”.

Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, identified the opportunity space for self- management:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lives our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our greatest happiness.

There are a number of ways to develop self-management. I will discuss two approaches in this post:

1. Managing Your Response to Negative Triggers

We all have situations, people or events that “set us off”. They may stimulate anger, frustration, annoyance or anyone of the multitude of negative emotions. As Vikto Frankl pointed out, we really have a choice of how to respond. In a previous post, I discussed the SBNRR process (stop, breathe, notice, reflect and respond) to help you manage your response to your negative triggers. Reflect is an important stage of the process because it seeks to get us to move beyond the particular negative stimulus and response to gain insight into any observable pattern, e.g. obstinacy when dealing with a person in authority.

2. Mindful Listening

Mindful listening requires us to be fully present to the other person, to understand what they are saying and the significance for that person. It also means to be able to reflect back their words and feelings, and the depth of those feelings. It requires discipline to stay with the other person’s conversation and to avoid diverting the conversation to yourself and your own experience. It also means avoiding interrupting the other person mid-sentence. All of this takes considerable self-management. Mastering mindful listening is a lifetime pursuit – in the process you will develop self-management and grow in mindfulness.

Self-management contributes to the development of mindfulness; as we grow in mindfulness it becomes easier to manage ourselves and our responses. Both contribute to the development of mindful leadership.

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Image source: courtesy of moulinaem on Pixabay