February 2023 – Grow Mindfulness

Paying Attention to the Present Moment

Marvin Belzer recently facilitated a guided meditation podcast on paying attention to the present moment as a way of developing mindfulness. Marvin stresses the simplicity of meditation, especially for those who are new to meditation practice. He suggests that the focus for paying attention can be anything that is happening for us at present. The focus can be our breathing, sounds around us, our bodily sensations or emotions that we are experiencing at the time.

Marvin stresses that meditation does not have to be goal oriented or involve an attempt to achieve perfection. Being aware and paying attention to some aspect of our here and now experience brings with it a wide range of benefits, e.g., calmness, clarity, peace and positivity. Diversion from our focus will occur naturally but these distractions can serve to build our awareness muscle , if we consciously return to our focus once we become aware that we have become diverted.

Marvin offers a choice of anchors or meditation focus, consistent with trauma-sensitive mindfulness practice. He also provides a choice in how we meditate (e.g., sitting, lying down or walking) and whether or not we wish to participate with our eyes closed or open.

My experience of Marvin’s guided meditation

At the outset of the meditation, Marvin encourages us to become grounded through a number of deep breaths, including a heavy sigh on our out-breath. This process helps to anchor us in the present, release tension and remind us of our intention in pursuing the meditation practice.

When Marvin offered different foci for the meditation, I chose to focus on an emotion that was present (though somewhat buried). The emotion was unearthed as I started to do a light body scan focusing on points of pain or tension. My attention eventually landed on my right foot and ankle where I had been experiencing numbness and pain. I had come to associate this with post-exertion malaise resulting from the effects of Long Covid.

As I focused on the numbness and pain in my right foot and ankle, I became aware of an associated emotion of disappointment. The net result of the post-exertion malaise is that I am unable to take my walks along the Manly esplanade in Brisbane, practice Tai Chi, or play social tennis (all of which are normally an integral part of my life). As I focused on the emotion I was experiencing, I became aware of a tear forming and dropping on my face. So, even if I had not previously attended to what I was experiencing as a result of the post-exertion malaise, my body was keeping the score

I realise too that my reluctance to engage in any extended mental exertion (such as writing this blog) or gardening), was a result of recent experiences where limited exertion led to a very quick elevation of heart pulse rate and blood pressure, on one occasion resulting in numbness in both legs and difficulty in moving. Since these experiences, I have undertaken extensive research and participated in (and purchased) the 2023 Overcoming Long Haul and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Summit.

Reflection

Gez Medinger, who presented at the Overcoming Long Haul Summit, suffered from Long Covid himself and has produced over 90 video interview podcasts with experts in the field. His very strong recommendation is that people who suffer from Long Covid should “work out what helps them calm the nervous system down”. He mentioned that acupuncture helped some people, while others have benefited from the Rest, Repair, Recover Programme of yoga teacher Suzy Bolt. Gez interviewed Suzy Bolt as part of his video podcast interviews on Long Covid. Lorrie Rivers, Convenor of the ME/CFS and Long Covid Summit focused on mind/body techniques and mindfulness to aid her own recovery from Long Covid.

The insights I’ve gained to date about recovery from Long Covid encourages me to pursue various mindfulness practices to aid my own recovery. As I grow in mindfulness, I hope to maintain my calmness and acceptance of my condition, while working creatively towards complete recovery. Meditation is one practice that can help me use the power of the present moment to “calm my nervous system” and associated symptoms.

I am constantly reminded of Alexia Chellun’s song:

The Power of Now is Here Now

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Image by icecube11 from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Rebuilding Trust Within Your Hybrid Workplace

Mark Mortensen and Heidi K. Gardner reported in a Harvard Business Review article that dozens of companies are reporting declining trust in the Hybrid Workplace model, both amongst employers and employees. They point out that in the early days when the Pandemic hit, people were forced to work from home because of isolation requirements. In that environment, when everything was in turmoil and everyone was “in the same boat”, there was a lot of tolerance and trust within organisations, despite the existence of some forms of hybrid workplaces. However, now with the reduction in the Covid19 presence and associated risk, and the return to workplaces (for some of the time), the level of tolerance and trust has dropped.

The authors attribute the decline in trust to a number of factors including the lack of preparedness of employees for home-based work (such as the absence of established routines), inadequate home technology, and the unpreparedness of organisations to facilitate information flow. While the majority of people at some stage had to work from home (because of lockdowns), this prevented employers from choosing the most appropriate employees to work from home. The problem now is that employees have the very strong expectation that working from home for some part of the week is part of their revised, return-to-work employment contract. They have experienced the real benefits of working from home in terms of flexibility and reduction in travel time and associated costs. Some employees experienced heightened productivity and the associated sense of accomplishment.

Now employers are faced with many more employees wanting to work from home with high expectations of this highly desirable condition being granted. This then raises equity issues for employers in terms of who to allow to work from home now, the number of days that people need to be at work and what days of the week individuals will be allowed to work in their home environment. It is interesting that in Brisbane City at present, Mondays and Fridays are very quiet traffic days (and there is plenty of parking at railways stations), while the other days of the week have returned to normal traffic flows and associated peak hours and delays.

Declining trust within hybrid workplaces

There is a problem that not everyone is suited to a work-from-home environment and not every home environment facilitates effective at-home work. Desirable traits for work-at-home employees include initiative, ability to work autonomously, reliability, results oriented and resilience. If employees lack the desired qualities to be effective working from home then a manager’s trust in their capacity and quality of output is eroded.

While people are working from home, there is a reduced opportunity for workplace relationships to develop through such random activities as the “water cooler chat” which has clear benefits for communication flow, collaboration and team-building. The resulting limitation on relationship-building impacts on levels of trust and tolerance amongst co-workers.

In the absence of “line-of-sight” for managers and supervisors there is a declining level of trust in how employees are spending their working day at home. Many managers and supervisors report that they don’t trust their employees working from home because they “can’t see what they are doing”. Mark and Heidi report that this has led to increased remote surveillance via electronic monitoring (e.g., keystroke counts) and virtual visual monitoring such as webcams and drones. All of which communicates to the employees that their managers do not trust them – which, in turn, impacts the reciprocation of trust (from employee to employer).

How to rebuild trust in a hybrid workplace

There are many strategies for building trust within a team, especially in a hybrid workplace. Below are some suggestions:

Create culture change: Lynn Haaland suggests that managers of hybrid work teams can actively promote a “speak up culture” so that issues are addressed in a timely manner. The willingness to share what is not working well is even more paramount within the hybrid context as dissatisfactions can fester and lead to conflict and lower productivity.
Provide guidance for working from home: Many people have written about how to be productive while working remotely. Managers can share the best suggestions and facilitate team exchanges of what works well for individuals in their home environment.
Demonstrate trustworthiness: Mark and Heidi stress the importance of understanding that trust is “reciprocal and bi-directional”. This puts the onus on the manager to demonstrate trustworthiness in their words and actions and to align them so that they are perceived as congruent.
Be empathetic: Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman argue that empathy is one of the three key elements that build trust in a workplace team. They explain that empathy can be displayed by resolving conflict, building cooperation, providing helpful feedback, and balancing concern for task with real concern for employees’ welfare. Empathy also helps to build the manager’s own resilience in the face of the increasing demands of their hybrid workplace.
Adopt regular “check-ins”: If the focus of these check-ins is staff welfare as well as progress on assigned tasks, this will demonstrate empathy and build trust. This focus involves being prepared to really listen to how an employee is feeling, whether they are coping and what they need to rectify what is not working well.
Use collaborate planning processes: Collaborative planning processes such as Force Field Analysis (FFA) and Brainstorming facilitate on-going collaboration, the exchange of ideas and the development of a sense of connection. Genuine Involvement in planning processes develops employee’s sense of agency and demonstrates that their views are valued, trusted and respected.
Establish cross-team projects: Going beyond the immediate team to develop cross-team projects with other teams that have a common interest, concern or problem, helps to build rapport and trust, to break down barriers and silos, and to generate new ideas and perspectives.
Be a good role model: The Mind Tools Team suggest that being a good role model is central to rebuilding trust in the workplace. This involves honesty, transparency, avoiding micromanagement, clearly communicating expectations and being a team player (not putting own promotion ahead of the team’s welfare). It can also extend to modelling working from home.
Undertake more conscious planning and thinking: Bill Schaninger in a podcast interview stressed the need for managers to put more planning and thought into how they manage their hybrid teams. The world and workplaces have changed dramatically with the advent of the Pandemic and the way we manage has to be re-thought and re-designed. We can no longer assume that it is “business as usual” but be willing to change and adapt and reinforce for employees that we are across their issues and the new demands on them.

Reflection

The demands on managers are increasing with the widespread adoption of hybrid workplaces. Yvonne Stedham and Theresa Skaar maintain that what defines a leader is their capacity to see a need for change, make things happen, and encourage others to engage in actions and behaviors that create a “new reality”. They argue that mindfulness is an essential trait/characteristic for leaders in these changing and challenging times. Yvonne and Theresa, on the basis of a comprehensive literature review, contend that as managers grow in mindfulness they are able to shift their perspective (re-perceiving), increase their flexibility and cognitive capacity, regulate their emotions and behaviour, and grow in self- and social awareness.

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Image by Ernesto Eslava from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Moving from Trauma in a Relationship to Trust

Dr. Aimie Apigian recently offered a Trauma to Trust Masterclass in which she discussed the body’s response to trauma, ways to recognise if a relationship is causing trauma and ways to move from trauma in a relationship to trust. Aimie is a Preventative Medicine physician with Masters in Public Health and Biochemistry. She specialises as an addiction, trauma and attachment physician – a career that resulted from her desire to heal from own traumatic life experiences and attachment issues and to help other people to achieve healing and recovery. She shares her career story and her work with Guy Macpherson on the Trauma Therapist Project podcast. Her experience with foster-parenting led to her consuming interest in helping children experiencing pain and suffering from trauma.

On her YouTube© channel, Aimie provides videos where she discusses topics like addiction, trauma, nervous system, negative thinking, inflammation and emotional regulation. She draws heavily on her personal experience of adopting a son from her foster care – a child who was traumatised by his insecurity, constant mobility and uncertain future. She found that love and nurture and time together by themselves did not help to heal him – the manifestations of love themselves became a trigger for his trauma response.

The day Aimie’s six-year old adopted son told her that he would kill her the following day was the catalyst for a lifetime of study, research and specialisation in helping children and adults recover from trauma. To help her son, she researched multiple modalities including nutrition, somatic experiencing (developed by Dr. Peter Levine), and Neuro-Affective Touch. For other parents in a similar situation with a traumatised child, she created the not-for-profit organisation, Family Challenge Camps, that are designed to help families deal with trauma and attachment issues.

3 steps to the trauma response

Aimie drew on her training in the Instinctual Trauma Response Model to explain how the body responds to trauma. Initially when the body experiences a perceived threat (including a “trigger”), it goes into a startle response (envisage a deer in the wild hearing or smelling the presence of a lion). This is followed by the stress response which energises the fight/flight response.

When the stressor(s) are perceived as overwhelm (we sense we are unable to cope), the body adopts the freeze response which constitutes the “lowest energy state” (in comparison to the “high energy state” of the fight/flight response).

Recognising trauma created in a relationship

Aimie provides three ways to recognise if a relationship (that we are part of) is a source of trauma for us. At the foundational level, the early indicators relate to a lack of energy. So the first step is to check our bodily sensations – is the relationship energising or depleting us? This can be an early indicator of trauma in an emerging Controlling Relationship.

On the second level, is exploration of our thoughts about our relationship. Do we perceive that being in the relationship is too much and beyond us? Do we feel safe and supported? Are we wondering why we have built up a dependency in the relationship to make up for some personal deficiency?

The third indicator is how we feel health wise – are we constantly feeling sick in the relationship? Does the relationship “make us sick” (with worry, anxiety or fear, for example). Aimie reminds us that sometimes we can delude ourselves when our mind says “I love them” but our body gives us away through constant sickness.

3 step approach to releasing stored trauma

Aimie has developed a 3 step approach to assist people to release stored trauma. She argues that the release process requires certain actions completed in the right order. In fact, from her own experience and research, she has found that the order of the required steps is the reverse of the trauma creation process described in the previous section (startle, fight/flight/, freeze).

Aimie argues that the trauma release process involves (1) developing a personal sense of safety, (2) building a sense of support and (3) expansion where we begin to lead “the life we’ve always wanted”. She provides an explanation of the 3 step process in her publication, The Essential Sequence Guide: How to release stored trauma, that is available as a free e-book from her website, Trauma Healing Accelerated™.

Aimie offers specialised training for individuals who want to deal with trauma in a relationship in the form of a 21 Day Journey that provides a somatically-based process of addressing stored trauma in the body. Each of the three steps of trauma release are addressed by providing seven somatic exercises for each step (safety, support, expansion). Aimie and an online community provide the supportive relationships necessary to enable people to heal and recover. During the Trauma to Trust Masterclass, Aimie provided an experience of one of the somatic exercises designed to develop a sense of safety. It involved linking the stomach to the heart by placing one hand on each body part and exploring the nature of the felt connection (e.g., rejection, resistance, warmth, welcoming, disrupted, undulating).

Aimie provides other experiential and educational workshops, a certification program for practitioners and one-on-one coaching by a certified trauma-informed health coach. She is also the Creator and Host of the Biology of Trauma Summit.

Reflection

Each of us have had our own experience of personal trauma from challenging life events – whether a car accident; death of a child, spouse or parent; a relationship breakdown/breakup and/or divorce; loss of work through redundancy; chronic illness or cancer; loss of a home through fire or flood; adverse childhood experiences or a combination of these (or any other traumatising event).

Aimie and her colleagues provide a clear pathway for trauma release by focusing on the body and providing somatic healing. Her dedication to releasing trauma in others (whether parents, children or professionals) is a lifetime and whole-hearted commitment. She offers insights from her own traumatic life journey and in-depth study and research.

As we grow in mindfulness through somatic experiencing, meditation, connecting with nature and other mindfulness practices, we can develop greater self-awareness, a stronger sense of safety and support and build the confidence and creativity to explore our potential and life purpose.

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Accessing the Present Moment through Mindfulness Meditation

Diana Winston, Director Mindfulness Education at MARC, offers a guided meditation podcast on the theme, “Back to Basics”. She reminds us that mindfulness is very much about the capacity to pay attention in the present moment and to do so with curiosity, openness and a willingness to be with what is, including our habituated distraction behaviours. Without mindfulness meditation we tend to spend out time thinking about the past (replaying undesirable events/outcomes) or the future (worrying about possible negative events which rarely happen).

Mindfulness meditation enables us to build our concentration by staying fully focused on the present. The beauty of the present moment is that it is always accessible to us if only we focus our attention. However, our busy human brains are forever active – engaged in planning, categorising, criticising, exploring, and many other mental activities that manifest our intelligence. Diana notes that everyone gets distracted during mindfulness meditation but the power of the process lies in the ability to return to our anchor to restore present moment awareness and build our awareness muscle.

Diana suggests that if we become distracted by thoughts we can name what we are doing, for example, “planning” or “critiquing” and return to our anchor. She reminds us of the research that demonstrates the benefits of mindfulness, including building relational resilience and relieving pain. Neuroscience research shows us how mindfulness can increase our capacity to manage stress, enhance positivity and happiness and even alter the physical shape of our brains. Dr. Dilip Jeste, Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, provides research to highlight the role of mindfulness in developing wisdom and compassion. Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson in their book, Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body, explain that mindfulness research provides very strong evidence that meditation builds self-awareness, self-management and social awareness.

Diana maintains from her research and extensive training of others in mindfulness practice, that “people who practise mindfulness report more gratitude, more appreciation and more connection with themselves and other people”. Sometimes, a particular location can provide us with the right environment to develop mindfulness. It may provide solitude and silence or reinforce our connection to country and community as Brooke Blurton frequently describes in her memoir, Big Love: Reclaiming myself, my people, my country. Nature has a way of developing mindfulness because it stimulates wonder and awe and all our senses – sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste.

The guided meditation

In the guided meditation, Diana encouraged us to adopt a comfortable posture to enable us to sustain our focus throughout the 20 minute meditation. She suggested we choose an anchor to enable us to restore our attention whenever we notice that we were distracted. The anchors suggested were our breath, external sounds or bodily sensations. I chose to focus on my joined fingers that were resting on my lap. I find that I can very quickly sense the tinkling, vibration and warmth in my fingertips once I have them joined. As I focused on the associated bodily sensations, I became aware of pain in my fingers and wrists which then became my focus.

Diana suggests that when you are starting out using meditation, it is best to maintain a focus on your anchor and not be diverted by strong emotions. There are, however, specific guided meditations for dealing with challenging emotions.

The guided meditation provided by Diana (which begins after 6.35 minutes of introduction) incorporates a 10 minute silent meditation. Towards the end of the meditation, Diana encourages us to sense how we are feeling, e.g., whether we are experiencing ease or relaxation.

Reflection

After the meditation, I recalled that one of the first mindfulness books I read was that by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. Also In an interesting occurrence of synchronicity, I had been listening to mantra meditations on Spotify (via a Janin Devi Mix) as I wrote the first draft of this blog post and Alexia Chellun starting singing The Power Is Here Now (a song I have never heard before).

As we grow in mindfulness through our regular mindfulness practice, we can access the power of the present moment to gain greater self-awareness, heightened creativity, improved emotional regulation and a deeper sense of happiness and ease. There are many options available for us to choose, e.g., chanting, meditation, yoga, mantra meditations or movement meditations. We just need to choose the modality that works best for us and enables us to sustain our practice. I find that Tai Chi provides the greatest immediate benefits for me and that is my primary mindfulness practice (supplemented by other practices as well).

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Image by Ryan KLAUS from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.