Grow Mindfulness – By Dr. Ron Passfield

A Journey Into Sobriety

Seana Smith in her memoir, Going Under, graphically describes her journey into sobriety – a state achieved for four years at the time of publishing her book. Her memoir tracks her early childhood, addiction to alcohol and multiple attempts to escape both physically and mentally. For each step forward, there was always a backward step until she found the solution to her addiction. Her insightful, inspiring and humorous account traces the ups and downs of a life burdened by alcohol addiction.

Early childhood

Seana had adverse childhood experiences as a result of her father being a violent alcoholic and the inability of her mother to cope with his addiction and the physical and mental abuse against her. The verbal abuse by her father extended to Seana and her siblings, especially to Callum who had a serious mental health issue. Seana’s home environment lacked consistency and warmth and was constantly unpredictable, despite some happy childhood moments with her parents individually or together.

Year of sobriety

Seana was able to achieve a year of sobriety when her twins were seven years old. The catalyst was a period of heavy drinking that resulted in her trying to pick a fight with her husband, Paul. She was mean to him but fortunately he did not react to her” sarcasm and barbs”. The twins had started school and Seana had a strong sense that her drinking was undermining “her urge to feel healthy and bright and well”. She joined AA and took up ocean swimming which gave her challenge , excitement and a modicum of fear.

Despite this outstanding sobriety effort, Seana dropped back into her old ways, moving from drinking once a week to drinking a bottle a day. Alcohol provided an escape from the mind-numbing routine of motherhood and the associated domesticity. This led her to her endless cycle of “thinking and thinking and thinking about drinking”. She described herself as “white knuckling” as she fought to regain control and overcome the very real physical and mental urge to drink…and drink to excess.

The ever-present opportunity for free drinks from social events added to her pain and temptation, and ultimately resulted in her submission to the impulse to lose control over her drinking habit. While Seana did not consider herself to be an alcoholic, she acknowledged that she engaged in “gray area” drinking, leading to morning hangovers and severe headaches impacting her ability to function fully. She often alternated between moderate drinking and risky drinking.

Trauma and addiction

Gabor Maté contends that addictions, in multiple cases, originate from the pain of adverse childhood events. The addiction, in whatever form it takes, is often an ineffective attempt to remove the trauma-induced pain. The experience of trauma evokes negative self-stories and Seana’s book is replete with continuous self-deprecation. Seana was in the grip of the “need to please” and believed that if she did not drink with others in social settings, she would not be “accepted”. She also acknowledged that in her twenties, she was addicted to sex – another form of failed attempt to escape from trauma pain.

As part of her journey to sobriety, Seana discovered that her father’s “drinking story” continued through her. It impacted her need to “keep moving and moving”. She sought help from a therapist to assist her in “letting go of old trauma”. The therapist employed EMDR therapy to great effect. Seana was able to progressively move beyond the past, focus on the present, express gratitude for the “positive gifts my family and upbringing have given me” and to remember “all the good parts of Dad and Mum” and the adventures they took her and her siblings on.

The journey to sobriety

There are many perspectives on, and paths for, recovering from trauma and its muti-dimensional impacts. The road to sobriety is complicated by trauma-induced beliefs and behaviour. Seana like many others who have achieved sobriety found that it was a very long journey with many setbacks to recovery. She also recognised that recovering from alcohol addiction required multiple pathways which served to positively reinforce each other.

She took up pool swimming that, along with the social encounters and new friends, provided her with release from the physical tension of trying to overcome her alcohol addiction. She also bought a dog, “a wee black poodle called Maisie” – which reduced her urges to escape and travel.

A key to her recovery was listening to sobriety podcasts constantly. From Janey Lee Grace’s podcast, Alcohol Free Life, Seana discovered a solution, “keep the ritual – change the ingredients”, that she was able to implement by substituting “alcohol-free wines, cocktails spirits and mixers” for alcoholic drinks whenever she had a ritual of drinking, e.g. at 5pm. She listened to multiple sobriety podcasts including Annie Grace’s podcast, This Naked Mind. Seana also devoured Annie’s book, This Naked Mind: Find Freedom, Discover Happiness and Change Your Life.

A key factor for Seana in her journey to sobriety and freedom was the use of the affirmation, “My life will be better if I never drink again”. This mindset shift refocused her belief and energy because she had always valued health, fitness and happiness but had pursued these goals in the wrong areas such as social drinking.

Reflection

Going Under is a courageous memoir recording a history of childhood trauma and the constant physical and mental battle to overcome alcohol addiction. It makes you realise what is happening “on the inside” when someone is struggling with such addiction. Seana approaches her story with incredible insight and resilience. Her humour adds character to her insightful tale.

As I read her book, I found that some parts triggered the memory of my father who was an aggressive alcoholic, physically abusing my mother and creating fear for myself and my siblings. Seana’s book helped me to appreciate his internal struggle and the inability of my mother to cope with his alcoholism, sometimes aggravating the situation by berating him when he was drunk. Seana recounts how her own mother learnt a little too late how to relate to an alcoholic partner.

There are multiple social support groups such as The Sober Club developed by Janey Lee Grace which Seana refers to. I have found that the Creative Meetup group hosted by the Health Story Collaborative is a strong support for me while I experience chronic illness and deal with my adverse early childhood experiences as a result of my alcoholic father.

Following one such Creative Meetup on Zoom, I reflected on my father’s war experience and resultant PTSD. It helped me to better understand what he was going through and his daily challenge of just coping with life and family. I wrote a blog post and a reflective poem titled, Paternal Forgiveness, to express my thoughts and feelings at the time.

I found that meditation and prayer helped me immensely to deal with my adverse childhood experiences and gave me the strength to overcome the tendency to addiction. As we grow in mindfulness, we can unearth our negative self-stories, express gratitude for the positive aspects of our life and progressively build courage and resilience.

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Image by Alicia from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

The Trauma-Disease Connection – Lessons Learned

Dr. Aimie Apigian recently conducted a masterclass on the theme, How to Help the Body Live, Love and Let Go. Her guest speaker for the interactive session was Dr. Gabor Maté, world-leading trauma physician and author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Together they shared their clinical experiences and research and highlighted the lessons learned about the trauma-disease connection.

Gabor highlighted the impact of trauma on the body, reflecting the unity of mind and body. He emphasised that the body is inseparable from all aspects of human existence, including the ecological and social environment. He maintained that his new book, The Myth of Normal, provides insight into the lessons he has learned from “working with trauma in the body”. In writing the book he also drew on thousands of articles and newspaper reports.

Gabor contends that everyone has experienced some form of traumatic experience and that trauma embedded in the mind and body contributes to chronic illness. In his view, healing begins with waking up to the body’s sensations as well as to “what the mind is suppressing”. It is increasingly acknowledged that trauma is not the precipitating experience/event itself but the negative impact on a person’s mind, body and emotions – how the experience/event is internalised.

The early experience of Aimie

In responding to Gabor’s question about what motivated Aimie to study diverse medical fields and to get into trauma healing, she told the story of her early experience in adopting 4 year old Miguel from the foster care system. He had extreme behavioural problems and in his rages would try to kill Aimie. Caring for Miguel and undertaking her third year residency as a doctor resulted in “severe fatigue”. It was then that Aimie came across Gabor’s book, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress – the title of his YouTube presentation where he discusses the trauma-disease connection resulting from the unity of mind and body.

Aimie’s response to her own trauma-induced health issues was to try to understand Miguel’s behaviour and her own mind/body response. She undertook training in trauma healing and somatic healing through her functional medicine studies. Aimie also completed master’s degrees in biochemistry and public health as well as “specialized training in neuro-autoimmunity, nutrition, and genetics for addictions, mental health, mood, and behavioural disorders”. Her book on The Biology of Trauma looks at trauma’s impact at the cellular level and explores approaches to holistic healing from trauma. The title of her book is also the theme of her podcasts and the focus of her training for other health professionals.

Trauma’s impact

Both Aimie and Gabor stressed the holistic impact of trauma on a human being. They described how someone who has experienced trauma develops a disconnection from themselves and their bodies. In their view, trauma leads to a degeneration of the nervous system, a loss of energy and emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. They point out that the various systems of the body are interconnected and interdependent – so trauma can affect the gut, the cardio-vascular system and the emotional system.

Reflection

As Aimie points out, trauma may result from adult experiences, not just adverse childhood experiences. She emphasised that given trauma’s influence on the whole person – body, mind and emotions – a range of healing modalities may be necessary. For this reason she has undertaken extensive trauma training including Somatic Experiencing, Sociometric Relational Trauma Repair, NeuroAffective Touch and the Instinctual Trauma Response Model.

Mindfulness has a key role to play in healing from trauma. As we grow in mindfulness, we can calm our nervous system, reduce our negative self-stories, get in touch with our bodies and build the resilience to restore our health – thus, gradually breaking the trauma-disease connection.

Aimie offers a 6 week online program, The Foundational Journey, designed to provide a safe way to open up “stored trauma”. The evidence-based program has a strong emphasis on the mind-body connection and provides tools that include somatic healing.

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Image by Daniel R from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Autumn: A Time for Reflection and Shedding

The Health Story Collaborative sponsors a monthly, online Creative Meetup for people anywhere in the world who are experiencing chronic illness or disability. The Meetup via Zoom is facilitated and is designed to enable participants to spend time writing while in a supportive community and, in the process, “to access and release our emotions, personal stories, and creative spirits”. The Health Story Collaborative was created by Dr. Annie Brewster, author of The Healing Power of Storytelling: Using Personal Narrative to Navigate Illness, Trauma and Loss.

During our Creative Meetup session in September, Jennifer Harris (our facilitator) guided us in reflecting on Autumn and the significance of the season in terms of harvesting and shedding. By way of stimulus, Jennifer quoted Mary Oliver’s Fall Song and the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall”. This led to a session for our creative writing around the themes of “harvesting” and “shedding”.

Autumnal reflections

The four seasons of the year are often used to represent times of transition. Vivaldi’s Four Seasons – “four violin concerti giving musical expression to a season of the year” – epitomises the seasonal transitions we can observe in temperature, the migration of birds, changes in landscapes and in human behaviour. Autumn is associated with harvesting, the gathering of food and growing fur by animals to prepare for the impending winter and significant temperature/weather changes. Many cultures celebrate the arrival of autumn with rites and rituals, especially the Autumnal Equinox (when day and night are equal in length) occurring at the start of Fall (Autumn).

Autumnal rites and rituals often signify change and harvesting. In Japan, the National Autumnal Equinox holiday is a time dedicated to paying respect to “deceased parents, grandparents, and other family members”. In India, Autumn is a time of cleansing. There are various rituals involving shedding to reflect the falling of leaves and regeneration during this season.

Reflections on harvesting

Harvesting is a time of reaping what you have sown. Our reflections focused on the metaphorical meaning of harvesting in terms of abundance or achievements realised throughout the year. We were asked to reflect on blessings we experienced, tending/nurturing received, projects accomplished, and personal growth. Associated with these reflections was encouragement to express gratitude for what we had harvested in our personal life.

I noted the following in terms of my “harvest” during the 2024 year:

Joined the Creative Meetup group of the Health Story Collaborative and participated in the monthly sessions
Integrated the themes and discussion of the Meetups into my blog posts
Wrote poems that reflected the themes of the Meetups and related blog posts – giving creative expression to my feelings
Conceived and structured a book on management – for co-authoring with my colleague (co-facilitator of 80 longitudinal manager development programs, conducted over 16 years)
Organised a publisher for our book and signed a contract for assisted self-publishing
Completed the first draft of 20 chapters of our book on management
Wrote the following posts exploring ways to express gratitude and sharing my gratitude for what I have experienced and am experiencing:

In our discussion of harvesting we acknowledged that it was okay to “harvest less”, given that all participants in the Meetups are people suffering from chronic illness or disability who often experience setbacks in their recovery.

Reflections on Shedding

During autumn we can observe the trees and plants shedding their leaves and fertilising the soil with the decaying material – death generates new life.

There are many things that we can shed if they are holding us back from realising our potential – e.g. identity, old beliefs or expectations. During the Creative Meetup I became aware of the unrealistic expectations I was placing on myself in terms of output for my co-authored book on management. The expectations were not coming from my co-author who is currently consumed by her caring role for an ill relative. The expectations are my own – setting a timeline and trying to determine a daily output.

What I realised is that my personal output expectations needed to be shed in the light of the continuous disruption I am experiencing in relation to health-related issues and medical testing. I have been losing momentum in my writing because of the continuous need to undertake important health-related tasks. I have to accept that this is my current situation and shed my expectations about high levels of output in my writing. I have already changed my expectations of the frequency with which I produce a blog post. However, to date, I have failed to adjust my expectations concerning writing my co-authored book.

My participation in the Creative Meetup with the focus on the autumnal shedding theme, highlighted the need for me to shed my current expectations about output for our book in order to create the freedom and space for other important things such as maintaining good health and my connections with family and friends.

Reflection – a poem

The seasons can help us to grow in mindfulness by enhancing our observation of what is changing around us and cultivating gratitude for what we have experienced and achieved. Autumn promotes reflection on what we have harvested and what we need to shed. I wrote the following poem to reflect the process of shedding:

Autumnal Shedding

Autumn leaves falling softly
Silently seeking the soil.
Shaken from their anchor
Shrivelled, shrunken, distorted shapes.
Shedding, signalling rebirth
Death begets new life.
New growth, new possibilities
Transcending the past.

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Image by Sven Lachmann from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Paying Attention to the Spaces Between

Chris Willard provided a 12-Minute Meditation podcast on the 15 August this year on the theme, A Meditation to Notice What’s Present and What Isn’t. He noted that spaces are everywhere if we look and by paying attention to the “spaces between” we can grow in awareness of what is around us as well as what is missing. Focusing on the spaces between grounds us in the present, enables us to see the potentiality in spaces and heightens out powers of concentration. Bringing our awareness to these spaces enriches our creativity and deepens our appreciation of the magnitude of our world, the beauty of nature and the uniqueness of the people who are around us.

Chris Willard has a Doctorate in Psychology focusing on neuroscience and positive psychology. He is an author, practising psychologist and consultant, a trainer and faculty member of the Harvard Medical School. He specialises in teaching mindfulness to adolescents and young adults. Chris’ books are readily available on Bookshop.org and his online courses can be accessed on his website. He is the co-author with Olivier Weisser of The In-Between Book – designed as an interactive resource for children to develop mindfulness. Chris is also a public speaker and videos of his talks can be found on YouTube.

Guided mediation

Throughout the podcast, Chris guides us in a meditation process designed to increase our ability to pay attention to the “space between”, both internally and externally. At the outset he suggests that, after adopting a comfortable position, we focus on our breathing. This initial process involves concentrating not only on our in-breath and out-breath but also on the spaces between these – learning to rest in our breathing space between our inhale and exhale.

Spaces between objects in a room

As we progress with this meditation, Chris turns our attention to the spaces between objects in our room:

the shape of objects
the form of spaces between objects
the dimensions of those spaces
how frequently the spaces occur
the patterns of spaces – small, large, irregular
intentional or unintentional spaces
the sense of openness or closure
the visual impression of clarity or clutter.

Spaces between thoughts and emotions

Viktor Frankl reminds us that there is a space between a stimulus and our response and in that space lies our freedom – we can choose how we respond. Chris encourages us to explore this inner space:

what emotion arises with a thought?
what events have given rise to the link between the thought and the emotion?
how often do we employ the S.T.O.P. process to create space before we respond?
are we carrying resentment and its attendant adverse behaviours?
does our inner landscape reflect a stance of “victim or freedom”?
do we have space within for creativity, alternative actions/responses and creating meaning in our lives?

Spaces in nature

Chris is very conscious of the natural world and the spaces within. He encourages us to explore our external world by observing the spaces in nature:

between plants
between trees
between leaves
between gardens and lawns
between water and land
between clouds.

Associated with this noticing is paying attention to:

the shape and colours of clouds
the merging of colours in the sky – yellow into green, red into purple, light into dark
the changing shape and spaces on the horizon
the crowded space of a worm farm
the flight of birds and formations
the sounds of nature and the gaps between
the bird calls and delayed responses
the movement of the wind and the spaces it creates.

Spaces in our interactions with others

Everyday we are in interaction with people close to us, our colleagues, associates and strangers. We can become more conscious of the spaces between us and others by noticing:

how our assumptions and stereotypes leave no room for sustained engagement
how we listen by creating space for others to talk
the pace of our thoughts leaving no gap for deep listening
the absence of spaces in our interactions to truly get to know someone, their life history and their feelings.

Reflection

We can extend our focus on the “spaces between” by reviewing our day:

have we created space for reflection and review?
have we taken the opportunity to pause?
has there been time set aside for walking and/or exercise, adequate sleep and rest?
have we made time for a life review to protect our attention?

Our awareness of space can be shaped by cultural influences and environmental conditions. Often, we need to experience another culture/country to appreciate how we view the “space between”. Following a trip to France, I became so much more aware of my own spatial environment in Brisbane – the space between cars, buildings, people and cities, the openness compared to the “constriction”.

Shelley Davidow in her memoir, Whisperings in the Blood, describes how her grandmother found the environmental shift from America to South Africa disarming – “At night, Africa closes in around the house and bathes it in its foreignness”. Associated with this sense of restriction are the shrieks of nightbirds, grunting of hippos, and the “distant drumming and singing”. Her grandmother was overcome by the open spaces and the loss of “signs of human habitation and civilisation” – the city comforts, landmarks and buildings of various sizes and shapes.

As we grow in mindfulness by paying attention to the “space between’, we can enrich our lives and interactions, enhance our awareness of possibilities, and make room for innovation and creativity. Consciousness of space can improve both our mental and physical health – we can avoid being consumed by the busyness of our life and the endless negative pattern of our thoughts.

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Image by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Cultivating Gratitude Through Nature

Georgina Miranda facilitated a meditation on the theme of Awaken to the Flow of Gratitude in Nature. In her guided meditation on the 12-Minute Meditation podcast on 12 July 2024, Georgina takes us through a meditation practice that can be conducted anywhere in nature – it could be in our backyard, the local park, or our favourite place in nature. People typically have some favourite place where they experience nature – it could be at the beach, in the mountains or by a river or creek. Georgina encourages us to use nature to reset, to open ourselves to our unity with nature and to let a sense of gratitude flow through us as we experience its stimulation of our wonder and awe.

Georgina is an author, activist, mountaineer, transformation and leadership facilitator. She helps individuals and organisations globally to move beyond their comfort zone, expand their awareness and “shift mountains within themselves and the world around them”. Her activism focuses on protection of nature and our planet, and protection of women against violence. Through her social enterprise, She Ventures, she works consciously to “unleash the untapped potential of women around the world”, offering consulting, coaching and inspirational events designed to achieve self-realisation and effect positive global change.

Georgina herself uses nature, and especially her mountain climbing, as a way to move beyond life’s challenges and to achieve a different perspective on whatever is troubling her. For her, nature provides a “reset” – enabling a movement from emotional turbulence to emotional regulation and calm.

Guided meditation process

Georgina suggests at the outset that we take our place in nature – wherever that may be in terms of accessibility and convenience. She encourages us, for the purposes of this meditation practice, to avoid treating the activity in nature, e.g. walking, as an exercise (an act of “doing”) but as a mindful moment (an act of “being”). The focus is on connection with nature through our breath and sensory awareness.

Georgina begins by having us become aware of our own breath – its pace, its temperature (hot or cold) and its evenness or fluctuations. She reminds us of our connection with nature through our breath – our outbreath is nature’s inbreath. Also, we draw vital oxygen from the plants and trees that surround us.

Georgina then leads us on a sensory journey. We are invited to take in the sights that surround us at a macro and micro level – the broader terrain and the proximate features of nature. We can notice the undulations in the landscape or the flow of waves breaking on the shore; the small plants and larger trees; the cultured lawns and the wild bush. On a closer look, we can view the colours that surround us, taking in plants, water and sky (with the colours of clouds – black, white, blue and grey). With a closer inspection, we can observe the leaves (their form, distribution and colour), the veins coursing through the leaves and the lines or markings that are visible to the naked eye. We could be watching dragonflies flutter above tall grass, grasshoppers gnawing on leaves of citrus trees, butterflies flitting through the air with no apparent goal, birds descending on bottlebrushes to draw nectar, Pelicans gliding gracefully across the Bay in search of schools of fish, or ladybirds landing on roses in our garden to feed on aphids.

We can take in the smells that surround us. It could be the salt from the sea, the earthy smell from soil and fallen leaves, or the tree born odours such as eucalyptus or wattle. It could be the strong smell emitted by herbs such as basil, lavender, or oregano – each with its own distinctive aroma. There may also be the smell of approaching rain or the earthy smell of sodden ground.

We can attune our ears to the sounds in nature. It could be the breeze blowing and rustling the leaves of the trees, the sound of rain hitting the ground, the whistle or song of adjacent birds. In paying attention to the sounds of birds we can notice sounds above, below, beside and in front of us – sometimes as small finches flitter amongst small, colourful bushes. Along with the sounds of the birds, we can pay attention to the colours, size and form of the birds we observe.

Attention to nature through conscious awareness can engender calm and contentment, increase our resourcefulness and enhance our sense of connection with all living things. Through immersing ourselves in nature we can experience gratitude for the air we breathe, the sights and sounds we experience, and the feelings of awe and wonder. We can appreciate how nature helps us to reset, broaden our perspective, reduce our agitation and heal us. We can bathe in nature’s beauty, aliveness and adaptability.

Reflection

I’ve been reading Kate Legge’s novel, Kindred: A Cradle Mountain Love Story, that traces the story of Gustav Weindorfer and Kate Cowie who fell in love with each other and with Cradle Mountain in Tasmania. They were both amateur botanists and members of the Field Naturalists Club of Victoria, established in 1880. They set about establishing eco-tourism in Cradle Mountain and Gustav is credited with strongly promoting (and achieving) the development of a national park in the area so that its beauty could be enjoyed by all nature lovers. Cradle Mountain is now visited not only by thousands of tourists but also by scientists from all over the world.

Kate Legge gives us a glimpse of Cradle Mountain and its surrounds through the eyes of dedicated botanists, Gustav and Kate, as they travelled the mountains collecting, documenting and preserving plant specimens some of which they sent to Germany, Austria and Britain. In 1903, before Kate and Gustav were married, Kate presented a paper to the Naturalists Club about Mount Roland in the region of Cradle Mountain. She expounded on the magnificent view from the top of the mountain and contended that botanists and geologists alike “must pause to admire it, with that silent outreach of the soul toward eternal beauty”.

Gustav himself frequently recorded his travels and discoveries as he indulged his “wanderlust” through nature. He wrote letters for his botanist colleagues around the world, reports for the Naturalist Club and articles for newspapers. One such article published in 1910 in The Weekly Courier describes Holidays in the Cradle Mountains in these effusive words, capturing sights and sounds of the mountain as he gazed in awe and wonder:

…through the silent darkness of this supreme mountain solitude stole the murmuring sound of rippling water leaping from rock to rock, gladly escaping from the sombre shadows of the lake to the sunshine of the valley. [Notice how the alliteration with the letter “s’ evokes silence penetrated by awesome sights and sounds]

Kate Legge, herself a mountaineer as well as author and journalist, found inspiration for her writing in walking mountain trails. In a chapter in her later book, Infidelity and Other Affairs, Kate discusses her “walking life”. She likens walking to writing – “walking is one foot in front of the other, just as writing is one word before another”. Other similarities she identifies are obstructed progress, concentration and shifting attention, movement towards and away from a destination. For Kate, walking is “thinking time” that provides a “fresh perspective”. She maintains that walking “rejuvenates the body and the mind and gives rise to rumination”. Kate shares the perspective of naturalist Henry David Thoreau who advocates “sauntering” and who communed with nature “on daily rambles, rarely taking the same path twice”. She suggests that with this approach we can succumb to a “meditative trance” as we scan the horizon or focus “on small miracles”, such as a “leaf curled in a web”.

So often “shoulds” get in the road of our communion with nature – the “doing” deadlines that are often self-imposed. However, when we make the time to grow in mindfulness through natural awareness, we can really appreciate the benefits of nature and our connection with our natural environment.

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Image by Penny from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Expressing Gratitude Daily

Kim Armstrong provides a meditation on the theme of Cultivating Gratitude Daily. In the 12-Minute Meditation podcast on 21 March 2024, she takes us through a process of reviewing our day (or the previous day) at micro-points to reflect on instances, interactions or events that brought us joy, happiness or contentment. She encourages us to reflect on these moments to express appreciation for them. They don’t have to be big happenings, but by reflecting on the small positive moments in our life, we can cultivate gratitude on a daily basis.

Kim is co-founder and facilitator of Space Between, a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to bringing the benefits of mindfulness to teachers and school-aged youth. She has a Master’s Degree in Child and Adolescent Psychology and is a certified meditation and yoga teacher. Fun-loving Kim is a strong advocate and practitioner of deep listening and draws inspiration from Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote, “Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life”.

Space Between draws its name from Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, and his observation that:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lives our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our greatest happiness.

Guided meditation process

In her guided meditation, Kim helps us to explore the minutia of daily life and to learn to savour each moment that has enriched our lives in small and significant ways. Her process begins with encouraging us to take two deep breaths, inhaling through our nose and exhaling through our mouth, as a way to become grounded for the meditation practice. This initial breathing process could be accentuated by vagal toning. She then leads us to reflect on different stages in our day. The reflections below are my own recollections of moments I appreciated as I progressed through her “Cultivating Gratitude Daily” practice:

Waking up – the warm morning hug from my partner; the sound of birds greeting the morning light (especially the Kookaburras and their raucous “laughter”); the red and yellow glow of the sunrise spreading across the horizon and being reflected in the waters of Moreton Bay; the view of Green Island and its sandy beach from my lounge room and deck; the sand dunes of Moreton island providing a very white backdrop; the early morning silence punctuated by the calls of birds and the sea breeze.
Moving from the bedroom – appreciating having the water and toothpaste to brush my teeth; the opportunity to shower and freshen up for the day in a bathroom (instead of in a lake or river); observing the sunlight spreading throughout the rooms of the house I share with my partner and one of my sons; having a house to live in that is spacious and open to views of the Bay.
Beginning the day – being able to make a cup of coffee on our Expresso machine; having access to Almond Milk (to avoid dairy milk intolerance); savouring the foam and taste of the cappuccino I made; providing a coffee for my partner; having distilled water and vitamins to energise my day; enjoying gluten-free toast and avocado for breakfast; watching the birds feeding off the nectar from our native Bottlebrush trees; enjoying the colour and shape of the Bottlebrushes.
Transition to work, play, or exercise – having a focus and a purposeful task such as my blog and book; being able to write well; having a talent for integrating ideas, concepts and practices from multiple sources; having focus and clarity (not encumbered by “brain fog”); being able to form an intention and pursue it; being able to create poems to reflect my thoughts and emotions.
Transition to home life – being able to walk on the Esplanade beside the Moreton Bay; seeing pelicans gliding gracefully across the water at the creek’s edge and resting contentedly on rocks beside the seagulls as they survey the surrounding Bay waters glistening with sunlight; having access to shops to buy a wide assortment of foods; having food to prepare for dinner; preparing the dinner meal for my partner and son; the pleasure of eating and sharing; the taste of food and drink (peppermint herb tea).
After dinner – sharing a favourite TV show with my partner; being able to watch the Olympics and European soccer (having the resources to fund streaming services such as Stan and Kayo).
Sleeping – being able to sleep (not suffering from insomnia); having a comfortable and warm bed to sleep in (not sleeping in the street on our Winter nights); the stillness of the night.

Kim points out that the “cultivating gratitude practice” has many benefits. She maintains that it offsets the negative bias of our brains and the tendency to focus on what is unpleasant or dissatisfying. Kim argues that gratitude builds resilience, displaces envy and resentment and builds a positive mindset. In her mindfulness training with teachers and school-aged youth, she aims to help them to achieve “integration and wholeness”. Cultivating gratitude helps us to get in touch with ourselves.

Kim and her colleagues at Space Between employ trauma-informed mindfulness training to help members of the school community to use the space between stimulus and response to make better choices for the benefit of themselves and their community. Research supports the organisation’s observation that undertaking mindfulness practices intentionally provides “systemic support for the mental health and well-being of students, teachers and families”.

Reflection

The “Cultivating Gratitude Daily” practice helps us to grow in mindfulness and experience the benefits of heightened creativity, greater calm and clarity, and improved focus and productivity. It assists us to see more clearly what we have in life – the things that bring us happiness and joy and builds positivity that contributes to increased resilience.

It also helps me to appreciate the opportunity to pursue a purpose, the creation of this blog, that is helpful for other people as I contribute to awareness of what resources are available to develop mindfulness and the multiple benefits that can accrue from pursuing mindfulness intentionally.

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Image by John Hain from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Meditation for Clarity and Calm at Work

Neuroscience has highlighted the multiple benefits of mindfulness practice. These include the capacity to pay attention, sustain task-focus and regulate our emotions. Mindfulness can contribute to our overall happiness by enabling us to be in the present moment (rather than the past or future), to sustain positive emotions and recover from perceived adverse events. Mindfulness enhances our capacity in a work situation by enabling us to handle abstract ideas, to be reflective and to strengthen the communication between the hemispheres of the brain. Nadine Cherry who teaches meditation and other mindfulness practices to corporate organisations around the world, maintains that meditation can also develop clarity and calm.

In a 12-Minute Meditation podcast (25 April 2024), Nadine facilitated a session on the theme, Meditation to Cultivate Calm and Clarity. In that session, she introduced two mindfulness practices that she contends can be used in the workplace or when working at home. They are short and can be undertaken anywhere:

1. H.A.L.T. Practice

In this process we can explore the bodily sensations and our thoughts associated with hunger, agitation, loneliness and tiredness. It involves stopping for a brief period to focus on each of these states and how they are affecting us in the present moment. It requires tuning into our bodies and our thoughts to assess where we are at in terms of these four human conditions. It also involves reorienting ourselves when we find that we are being impeded by what is going on both in our bodies and our minds. Nadine maintains that this mindfulness practice can contribute “to inner peace and outer performance at work”. It can be very useful as a prelude to a potentially tense meeting, a formal presentation or a challenging conversation.

2. Vagal Toning

Vagus nerves are a critical component of our parasympathetic nervous system and are responsible for creating signals between our brain, heart and digestive systems. Before challenging activities at work, we can experience tightening of our throat or chest. Vagal Toning involves deep breathing and exhaling with a particular sound that relaxes the vagal nerves. The process requires deep inhaling through the nose and then exhaling while making a “v” sound. This action expands the chest and calms the body, enabling clarity of thought and decision-making. Vagal toning helps us to become more grounded and connected to ourselves, enabling us to relax and to achieve optimal performance in the moment.

Nadine asserts that these two mindfulness practices facilitate “authentic expression” and enable us to overcome “overwhelm” when working. By helping us to become more connected to ourselves, they assist us to become clear about what we want to do and say in a work situation.

Reflection

While listening to Nadine’s podcast and participating in the mindfulness practices she described, I recalled another calming benefit of mindfulness that has personal relevance to my health situation. I had been watching Dr. Darin Ingles’ Q & A video presentation on the Inflammatory Auto-Immune Response where he mentioned strategies to manage Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) – a condition that I am currently experiencing.

Mast cells release chemicals that produce an inflammatory response to a “perceived invader” – something the body may misperceive as harmful (e.g. a particular protein found in gluten or milk). The activation of the mast cells can range on a spectrum from mild to severe. Darin maintains that in addition to medication, natural processes such as bodywork “can be helpful in resetting your autonomous nervous system and getting it back under control”. He mentions explicitly bodywork such as meditation, Tai Chi, acupuncture, vagal toning, yoga and deep breathing as being especially helpful in toning down the body’s “hyper-active” immune response.

The calming influence of Tai Chi on MCAS provides an added motivation for me to practise Tai Chi regularly. I have previously developed a mnemonic, FRAICHE, to remind me of other potential benefits of this mindfulness practice – flexibility, reflexes, awareness, intention, concentration and coordination, heart health and energy. So, as we grow in mindfulness through practices such as H.A.L.T. , vagal toning and Tai Chi we can calm our body and mind and develop clarity in our thinking and decision-making.

Darin is the author of The Lyme Solution: A 5-Part Plan to Fight the Inflammatory Auto-Immune Response and Beat Lyme and provides a regular podcast on health issues, Resilient Health Radio.

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This post is provided for information purposes only and is not intended to replace personal medical advice provided by a trained medical practitioner. Please seek advice from a qualified professional before deciding on treatments for yourself or other members of your family.

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Image by Fabiana pfernandes from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Deprivation Can Engender Gratitude

We take so much for granted – that we can breathe, walk, talk, see, and hear. Deprivation makes us aware how privileged we are to have these functions and other functions such as choosing what we want to eat, achieving basic elimination functions with ease or being able to write or key (not encumbered by arthritic pain and distortion). The recent Reversing Mast Cell Activation and Histamine Intolerance Summit 2.0 brought home the stark realities of how Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and/or histamine intolerance can impact the quality of our life.

As I listened to various expert speakers who themselves had experienced these conditions, I became more aware of what I do have in terms of quality of life and daily functions. Some of the speakers had periods when they were super-sensitive to smells (such as the perfume of their daughter), unable to eat a wide range of foods because of allergies) or were sensitive to mold in their homes. Others spoke of the symptoms of histamine intolerance and the impact this had on their daily life and their capacity to choose what they would like to eat.

Hope and social support

Parental and social support build hope and agency and enable people with chronic illness or disability to rise above their health challenges and achieve a successful recovery, often beyond peoples’ wildest dreams.

Alexa Leary’s story – from tragedy to triumph

The recovery story of Alexa Leary, Australian Paralympic Swimmer destined for Paris 2024 Olympic Games, is a hugely inspiring account of how parental support and social support have helped her to achieve her goals. Three years ago Alexa had a very serious accident on her bike as a world-class triathlete – causing traumatic brain injury and multiple other significant injuries. She was not expected to live, and, even if she did survive, she was not expected to be able to talk or walk. Alexa’s parents set aside their own lives and spent six months by her bedside in hospital to support her recovery.

Alexa’s rehabilitation efforts are starkly illustrated in the video story, Triumph Over Tragedy. Her incredible sporting accomplishments since the accident reinforces the value of the social support she received from organisations such as the global Pho3nix Foundation, dedicated to helping young people through sport and activity to develop a “sense of purpose, focus and possibility”. Alexa was a participant in their Athlete Program designed to enable underfunded, aspiring Paralympics and Olympic athletes to compete in the Olympic Games. When sharing her story of recovery through radio, television and social media, Alexa emphasised the critical role music played in her life and recovery.

Specialised Support through ADDA

Duane Gordon, President of Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), elaborates on the benefits of social support and shares multiple stories of how ADDA’s many support groups have facilitated the recovery of its members. Tom, an accomplished engineer, experienced overwhelm in everyday tasks such as shopping but was able to gain support and ADHD-friendly strategies through ADDA’s Healthy Habits and ADHD Brain Group. People with ADHD typically experience relationship difficulties but ADDA’s support group Loving and Living with ADHD: Partners Connecting helped Mark and his partner to rise above the challenges of this condition and strengthen their relationship. ADDA’s support group, ADHD @ Work> Survive and Thrive Support Group, helped James recover from the loss of his job caused by ADHD challenges such as confusion, meeting deadlines and remembering tasks.

Reflection

I was recently diagnosed with early stage, normal tension Glaucoma which has reduced my peripheral vision. I am undertaking a series of tests to determine what the cause is and what kind of treatment is required. The diagnosis has forced me to face the prospect of increased loss of sight, retraction of my driver’s licence and loss of the associated independence. The social support provided by the Creative Meetups, sponsored by the Health Story Collaborative, is particularly critical at this point in time.

I wrote the following poem as a way of reflecting on my present circumstances with the possibility of increased loss of vision:

Losing Sight

Sight lighting my way,
expanding my horizons,
disclosing people and cultures,
revealing nature’s beauty,
enabling enjoyable activity.

Playing a game of tennis,
writing a book,
driving a car,
watching a video,
reading a book,
creating a poem,
developing a blog.

Encroaching blackness,
moving in from the edges.
Losing sight a real prospect.
Rescinding of independence.
Storing recollections for future reference.

A long-playing internal videotape,
of my best tennis shots,
played over the years.
Now categorised by tennis stroke –
forehand, backhand, volley, serve and smash.

A rich palette of memories of nature’s beauty –
blue and white, purple and brown,
red and orange, yellow and green,
grey and black.

Moving from sight to sound,
from reading to listening,
from writing to recording,
from driving to walking.

Feeling my way.
Testing to understand.
Exploring my options.
Appreciating what I do have – while I have it.

As we grow in mindfulness through reflection, meditation and time spent in nature, we can increase our appreciation and gratitude, fortify our hope and strengthen our resilience.

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Image by Shan from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Managing Adult ADHD

Recently BrainWorx launched a virtual interview series that they called the ADHD Toolbox Live with more than 20 speakers involving both live and prerecorded interviews. Some of these highly informative interviews are available on the BrainWorx blog. The Mayo Clinic explains that Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a chronic condition in some children and adults that cannot be cured but can be managed through behavioural interventions and medication.

Mel Robbins in her podcast, Six Surprising Signs of Adult ADHD, draws on her extensive research and interviews with leading ADHD experts to explain that ADHD is “a chronic neurobiological disorder” that has an impact on the brain both structurally and chemically and can affect how the brain communicates amongst its various parts.

Duane Gordon, President of the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), explained in his BrainWorx Toolbox presentation that ADHD results in “differences in brain development” that can negatively impact capacity to pay attention, to exercise self-control and to remain inactive (“being hyperactive” – a description often given to “naughty children” at school).

Misconceptions about ADHD

Duane was at pains to explain that there are many misconceptions/myths surrounding ADHD. These misconceptions include:

The belief that ADHD is only a children’s disorder – increasingly adults are diagnosed with it when an adult (however, research shows that ADHD is formed before 12 years of age)
The assumption that people with ADHD “lack intelligence” (the opposite is often true)
The exhortation that people with ADHD should just “try harder” (which Duane explains is the most damaging of all misconceptions because it attacks a person’s self-esteem as they are already doing everything in their power to “keep afloat” with everyday demands).
The perception that ADHD is a “little inconvenient” (Duane explains , however, that ADHD can deeply affect every facet of your life – such as financial health, career and relationships). Duane, who himself has ADHD, comments that it “digs into every aspect of your life”.

Symptoms of Adult ADHD

In her podcast of the six surprising signs of adult ADHD, Mel Robbins identifies the following key characteristics:

Hyperfocus – ability to focus intensively in particular settings (e.g. when working on a creative project or writing) despite an inability to focus in other settings (e.g. with children, hyper-focus on computer games but inability to pay attention in class at school)
Difficulty controlling emotions – can be impulsive, easily frustrated and reactive
A tendency to shop impulsively and over-spend – Mel cites Dr. Amen who explains that the compulsive shopping or drug and alcohol abuse can be an attempt to “stimulate the brain with a dopamine rush” (a chemical that has a role in learning, attention & mood)
Time management problems reflected in lateness, being the last person to arrive
Capacity to function at a high level – workaholism (including “all-nighters”) and entrepreneurial success
Highly self-critical – constantly “beating up” on oneself for “disappointing everyone”.

Mel, however, drawing on the work of Dr. Ellen Littman and others who co-authored the book, Understanding Girls with ADHD, points out that the ADHD symptoms of girls are often different to those of boys. She explains that this contributes to the fact that adult women are often diagnosed with ADHD later than men. Mel herself was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 47 (by accident when her son was formally diagnosed with the same condition). She explains that the major difference between women (girls) and men (boys) with ADHD is that the symptoms are typically internal rather than external.

Boys, for example (like her son), express their symptoms physically such as impulsive physical behaviour, fidgeting, inability to keep still, inability to pay attention and concentrate, easily distracted, continuous leg movement and a tendency to interrupt proceedings (such as classes). Girls/women (like herself) tend to daydream and are disorganised and forgetful, and are hard on themselves, seeing their ADHD as a “character flaw”.

Mel notes, again drawing on the work of Dr. Littman and colleagues, that the outcomes for girls tend to be worse than those for boys – resulting in low-self-esteem, self-loathing, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation. In common with boys, girls can experience “overwhelm” but Ellen Littman contends that outcomes for girls (and women) can be “horrendous”.

Managing Adult ADHD

Duane argues that a starting point is to “embrace” your ADHD. By this, he means to “look for aspects that make you special” such as storytelling, leadership capability, capacity for public speaking and creativity. He points out that some of the world’s leading entrepreneurs have been diagnosed with ADHD as adults. He explains that when people are first diagnosed as adults they tend to experience shock, feel shame, resist the diagnosis and tend to become absorbed in regret. He notes, however, that many of the forward-looking organisations are seeking out people who are neuro-divergent because they “think outside the box”.

Duane was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult in similar circumstances to those of Mel – his own diagnosis was accidental when his daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. He explained that when he was first diagnosed with ADHD he did not have a phone number on his business card because he could not talk to people – now as President of ADDA he talks to people all over the world about the condition and its personal and social impacts.

Duane strongly advocates for self-compassion, which involves not only self-acceptance but also self-forgiveness. He explains that there is often a stigma attached to ADHD because “neuro-typical” people tend to attach negative meanings to the ADHD condition, they are blind to the unique talents of those people who are “neuro-divergent”. Kevin Bailey, a Certified ADHD Coach, argues in his ADHD Toolbox interview, that we should acknowledge that “we’re all perfectly imperfect” and suggests that adults with ADHD could employ his strategy of acting “as fast as I can, as slow as I need”. His interview with the Wired for Winning video podcast relates his experience of “otherness” as a neuro-diverse, black person with ADHD and Autism.

Duane counsels us that everyone’s ADHD is different – he comments that his daughter’s ADHD “is different to mine”. Accordingly, it is not possible to offer a precise solution for an individual adult for managing their condition, there is, in his words, a “group of solutions” that others have found helpful and can be used as personal experiments to see what works for you.

Duane strongly recommends the social support offered by a community of people with adult ADHD such as that offered by ADDA, the largest such organisation in the world. Not only does ADDA provide resources but it also facilitates exchange between members so that people can share their stories, the manifestations of ADHD in their lives and the solutions that have worked for them. This is similar to the healing power of storytelling embraced by the Creative Meetups hosted by the Health Story Collaborative (HSC). Duane suggests that organisations such as ADDA help adults to “take your ADHD and discover it for yourself” – facilitating the process of learning, experimentation, making adjustments and continuously applying new learning.

ADDA provides a free monograph which offers what it calls, 5 Pillars to Manage Your ADHD:

Learn self-acceptance
Take control of your life
Get enough sleep
Avoid over-committing
Engage a support system

Duane’s interview for the ADHD Toolkit, Why Entrepreneurship is a Great Match for ADHD, can be found here.

The metabolic approach to managing adult ADHD

Mel in another podcast interview with Dr. Chris Palmer, Harvard psychologist and author of Brain Energy, explored the metabolic approach to managing adult ADHD. In the podcast, The Truth About ADHD in Adults, she delved into metabolic health issues as the root cause of mental health disorders. This led her to a discussion with Chris about key elements impacting metabolic health such as nutrition, sleep , exercise and other lifestyle elements – all of which can negatively impact brain functioning when they are lacking or inadequate.

Chris argues that an elimination diet over two weeks could help to identify what foods you are sensitive to, e.g. dairy and gluten (which could lead to brain inflammation). He contends that metabolic health (and associated brain functioning) can be improved by increasing protein intake, lowering carbohydrates, eliminating alcohol and smoking (vaping) and undertaking daily exercise (even Cardio 2 level exercise – e.g., light jog, hiking, swimming).

Chris maintains that children with ADHD internalise the messages they receive at school and elsewhere, e.g., “you are a “problem child”, and this negatively impacts their self-esteem, both in childhood and adulthood. From his research, he contends that 50% of people with ADHD have “more than one diagnostic label”, e.g., Autism, Bipolar Disorder, and 10% will develop Schizophrenia.

Reflection

Gaining knowledge about ADHD helps us to understand better the challenges faced by adults with this condition. It can help us to develop greater tolerance of their hyperactivity, messiness, disorganisation, inability to concentrate, poor time management and incapacity to “remain on task”.

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Image by Chen from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Surrender: A Pathway to Gratitude

In the May Creative Meetup, sponsored by the Health Story Collaborative, we focused on the theme of “surrender”. The discussion proved to be both inspiring and insightful with participants freely sharing their wisdom born of their lived experience of dealing with chronic illness or disability. One area we looked at was the act of “letting go” of what is holding us back – our old beliefs, self-doubts, negative self-stories, fears, and expectations of ourselves and others. Associated with surrender, too, is the possibility of shedding an identity that no longer works for us.

Another sub-theme was that of “giving up” as Lily Tomlin comments, “to give up all hope of a better past”. It also means accepting ourselves “as we are” with all our foibles, mistakes, deficiencies, hurts, disappointments, losses and limitations. It involves accepting that we are not perfect and, in the process, opening ourselves to life’s challenges and vicissitudes. It is about achieving equanimity through acknowledging the fragility of the human condition. Our facilitator for the Meetup, Jennifer Harris, shared a passage from Jeff Brown in which he encourages us “to celebrate how far we have come”, noting that the “river doesn’t ask itself why it is not an ocean”.

Negative self-talk – an impediment to creativity

In their book, What Happened to You?, Dr. Bruce Perry and Winfrey Oprah point out that personal trauma can lead to a distorted worldview, sensitivity to cues (triggers) and negative self-messages. In reflecting as part of the Creative Meetup process, I realised that my adverse childhood experiences contributed to my sense that I was “not good enough” and, at times, that I was actually an “impostor”.

Seth Godin, best-selling author of 21 books, maintains that this kind of negative self-talk is an impediment to creativity and the realisation of our potential. There were times in my life when I was full of self-doubt and beset with “fear of failure’ or inability to achieve my desired outcomes. I also felt discouraged by resistance to organisational changes or innovations I was trying to create.

Seth Godin contends that uncertainty about outcomes is integral to the concept of creativity – we “go out on a limb” or “leap into the unknown” when we attempt to develop something new or introduce a change to the way things are done. For Seth, the chance of failure is always present when you are being creative. He argues that focusing on process rather than outcomes can free us from fear and enable us to explore new opportunities unimpeded by uncertainty.

Seth reinterprets the concept of “impostor” to acknowledge that whenever we are being creative the outcomes are uncertain. In that sense, we will feel that we are “fake” or not the “real thing” because we cannot guarantee the outcome – a natural sensation in the face of uncertainty. The ”impostor syndrome” can occur whether we are engaged in writing, facilitating, managing people or undertaking some other creative activity.

Gratitude for social support

Social support can take many forms and may involve groups or individuals. Sometimes it is being supported by a group, such as the Creative Meetups, where you share your stories, challenges and insights. At other times it may involve emotional and intellectual support from someone who helps you overcome fear of failure. When I reflected on the theme of surrender, I became acutely aware of the many people who have helped me during my life to achieve significant outcomes despite my ingrained self-doubts – to help me “let go” of the fear and embrace the creative challenge. This reflection, in turn, engendered a strong sense of gratitude towards all of these individuals who have had a positive influence in my life by believing in me and my capabilities. Some outstanding examples include:

My Mother, a devout Catholic, who supported my education at a private school and believed that I was destined to be a priest and was capable of successfully undertaking the relevant study and training. To that end, I joined a Contemplative Order and completed five of the six years required for ordination as a priest. However, I left before my final year owing to illness and external factors. During my training, I excelled in my studies, was exposed to the emerging fields of Existentialism and Phenomenology, enjoyed the practice of silence and learnt to meditate and sing Gregorian Chant. It was a life of incredible richness and balance – with strong group social support, challenging learning, daily prayer and meditation, sport and recreation and work on the farm owned by the Order.
Charlie Venning, my boss and mentor in the Brisbane Taxation Office, who believed in me to the point of promoting me to be Chief Internal Auditor, Manager of 90 staff engaged in collecting AUD700 Million of taxpayer revenue and, eventually, an Executive Director.
Peter Sullivan, a visionary Executive who worked in the Canberra Head Office of the Australian Taxation Office. Peter had such a strong belief in my capabilities that he engaged me over a number of years to work on three significant national projects involving the organisation-wide development of the Taxation Office. Peter always believed that I was capable of achieving more than I ever dreamed was possible.
Emeritus Professor Ortrun Zuber-Skerritt, author/co-author of 50 books, who first engaged me in 1989 to be the Government representative on the First International Symposium on Action Research in Higher Education, Government and Industry held in Brisbane. In 1991, Ortrun and I were founding executive members of the Action Learning and Action Research Association which continues today and has had a significant role in promoting action learning and action research on a global basis through World Congresses, international conferences, publications and speaking engagements. I was President of the Association for five years from 1992. Ortrun proved to be my mentor, PhD supervisor and friend of more than 30 years. When I doubted my capacity to do a PhD, she encouraged me strongly and provided me with ongoing support. I have become one of her international “critical friends” for her book writing and provided concept editing for some of her books as well as book reviews. I have also contributed chapters to four of her books and a chapter, The Practical Visionary, to the book produced to honour her lifelong contribution to action learning and action research. Ortrun is a visionary who has enviable tenacity, resilience and resourcefulness – part of her German inheritance.
Reg Revans, Father of Action Learning, I met Reg Revans in 1990 when he was a Keynote Speaker at the First World Congress on Action Learning and Action Research. Ortrun was Convenor of the Congress and had invited Reg. I picked up Reg from the airport when he arrived in Brisbane from the UK and took him to his motel opposite Griffith University. Reg asked if I could show him the QE11 Stadium, the site for the 1982 Commonwealth Games which was adjacent to the University. In 1930, Reg had represented Britain at the Commonwealth Games and won a silver medal in the triple jump and long jump. After taking him on a car tour of the site, I joined Reg for dinner at his motel and his charisma was evident to all in the restaurant – he was a great storyteller. Reg inspired everyone at the Congress and his work continues to inspire me today. I completed my action learning PhD in 1996 drawing heavily on Reg’s work and his book, The Origins and Growth of Action Learning. My colleague, Julie Cork, and I have conducted over 70 longitudinal, action learning programs for managers over the last 16 years (involving more than 2,000 managers). We are currently co-authoring an action learning book for managers based on our experience in our manager development programs. Julie, too, has been a very positive influence on me through her belief in my facilitations skills, my understanding of action learning, and my knowledge of manager and organisation development, as well as her willingness to explore the unknown and to collaborate on creating innovative programs.
Dr. Bob Dick taught me about organisation development and facilitation skills at the University of Queensland in the 1980’s when I undertook my MBA majoring in training and development. Bob had an acknowledged, unique, participative style of teaching. I have modelled my facilitation/co-facilitation of more than 1,000 workshops on his style. Bob also provided mentorship for me when I was engaged in organisation development activities in the Taxation Office over a number of years. We have also worked together to promote action learning and action research and to co-author a book on this topic. I highly value our 40 years of friendship and collaboration.
Selva and Param Abraham who had an unshakeable belief in my action learning expertise and sound knowledge of the Tertiary Education Sector. They are founding owners and now co-owners of the Australian Institute of Business (AIB) – accredited to doctoral level and the largest provider of MBA’s in Australia. During my 32 years working in an adjunct capacity at AIB (1985-2017), I designed postgraduate courses, was a member of the Academic Board and eventually, Chair of the Research Committee. I also contributed substantially to the organisation’s ongoing accreditation within the Australian Higher Education System. In my final year when I retired as a Professor of Management, I was honoured with the award of Emeritus Professor.
My State Director in the Federal Government Department of Social Security who appointed me as HRM Director as an external applicant (against the trend of internal promotions) and, subsequently, Director, Corporate Services, with responsibility for training and development, human resource management, staffing levels and pay for 3,000 staff in 30 locations across Queensland. He eventually recommended me for secondment to Griffith University where I spent 11 years as an academic.
Emeritus Professor Fals Borda of the Bogota University who believed in my capacity to co-convene a World Congress on Action Learning and Action Research, held in Cartagena, Colombia (South America) in 1997. The Congress was attended by 1,800 people from 61 countries. I arranged seeding money for the Invitations to Present; participated as a member of the International Planning Committee as well as an Expert Panel Member; acted as Coordinator of the Organisational Development Stream; and officially opened the Congress with Orlando. The occasion led me to conduct an impromptu workshop on action learning and organisational change with a group of postgraduate students who were Spanish-speaking. One of their number acted as interpreter as I progressively explained a major action learning, organisational development project that was the subject of my PhD.
Seth Godin, among other things, was the creator of the social media platform, Squidoo (2005). The platform enabled people to create Squidoo Lenes (effectively individual, modular websites) on any topic – a very strong encouragement to write and share knowledge and understanding. Revenue from the site, generated through affiliate links/modules, was shared with authors and charities. Squidoo was also an active community of writers from across the world and became the source of two of my long-standing friendships with my German counterparts, Anne Corcino and Achim Thiemermann, who were resident in America. Together we collaborated in 2011 with two resident German programmers, Hans Braxmeier and Simon Steinberger, to build the Wizzley social media site – an online community of writers still operating today. Seth and Squidoo proved to be a great inspiration for my writing and I became a “leader’ in the platform with more than 100 Squidoo lens. I then went on to create a 6-month social media training program and developed a blog and e-book on Squidoo Marketing Strategies. Seth provided personal encouragement when he featured my biographical Squidoo lens in his monograph, For the Love of Squidoo, commenting positively on my interesting career and humourous article, An Ethnographical Study of Cartagena Taxi Drivers. Unfortunately, Squidoo became one of the dead websites after a very successful run and was sold to HubPages – which proved to be a sad day for Squidoo advocates. Seth, a globally acknowledged marketing guru, has a blog on which he writes daily posts. Seth’s blog has been a long-standing inspiration for my own blog on mindfulness. I started writing posts daily too but this became too much when I had to conduct workshops in multiple locations across the State. However, since 2016, I have created in excess of 750 posts on this Grow Mindfulness blog.

I am conscious that, owing to time and space, I have not done justice to the level of influence that these people have had on my career and life. I am also conscious that I have omitted other people who strongly influenced me in a positive way such as Emeritus Professors David Limerick and Richard Bawden.

Reflection

It is clear to me that social support is critical for personal development and the realisation of a person’s potential. It also has a significant healing power. The social support, both individual and group support, that I have enjoyed over many years has enabled me to overcome some of the residual effects of adverse childhood experiences. Social support enables us to surrender – to let go of negative self-stories, to build self-efficacy, open new horizons and go beyond where we have travelled before. I can relate strongly to the metaphor, Standing on the Shoulders of Giants – an allusion to achieving intellectual and emotional progress by building on the ground-breaking understanding of those who have gone before.

In reflecting on the social support provided by the individuals who helped me to let go of my self-doubts and fear, I am filled with gratitude for their positive contributions to my career and life. Surrendering by “letting go” thus provides a pathway to gratitude.

As we grow in mindfulness through reflection on our life journey and appreciation of all who have helped us on our way, we can gain renewed strength to move forward and contribute to a better society. The Creative Meetups sponsored by the Health Story Collaborative have a key role in this endeavour by enabling writing, reflection and storytelling for health and personal development.

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Image by John Hain from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.