Awareness – Page 3 – Grow Mindfulness

Awakening to Collective Trauma

In the previous post I discussed healing collective trauma in the light of presentations during the Collective Trauma Summit 2023. The discussion identified a wide range of trauma healing modalities that can be employed in helping individuals heal from trauma – whether individual, intergenerational or cultural trauma. One of the key themes was the need to normalise collective trauma so that a global healing movement can develop and thrive. A number of recent novels throw light on the manifestation of collective trauma in different communities.

Novels describing collective trauma

Alli Parker, descendent of an Australian soldier and his Japanese wife, vividly describes life within Japan during the time of the British Commonwealth Occupation Forces (BCOF) and within Australia at the time of the White Australia Policy (induced by fear of Asians). In her book, At the Foot of the Cherry Tree, Alli describes the stresses on the relationship of her grandparents, Gordon and Cherry Parker, and their extended, exhausting efforts to have Cherry successfully settled in Australia. The married couple experienced trenchant opposition at both ends – Japan and Australia. In Japan, Gordon was punished by the MPs for breaking the anti-fraternisation policy of the Australian Army and was viewed as an “enemy stranger” by the Japanese community. In Australia, Gordon and Cherry were bullied and harassed by people inheriting hatred and anger from traumatic events experienced at the hands of the Japanese during the war.

Elise Esther Hearst, author of One Day We’re All Going To Die, describes in vivid detail the life of Naomi who works at a Museum of Jewish Heritage and whose turbulent life is lived in the pervasive shadow of “the unspoken grief” of her Grandmother , a Holocaust survivor. The impact of Naomi’s intergenerational trauma is reflected in her maladaptive behaviour, e.g., toxic sexual relationships, and “need to please” and not disappoint. Naomi is enmeshed in community expectations, including the expectation that she would marry a good Jewish man (because non-Jews did not understand the trauma of the Holocaust and what Jewish families had to experience). Throughout her life, Naomi is surrounded by the “echoes of the dead and dying” as they are “in objects, in story, in her grandmother’s firm grasp”. This leaves her wondering what is “normal” and how to behave as a “normal person”. The novel highlights the identity crisis that can occur with intergenerational trauma.

Normalising collective trauma

During the Summit, Laura Calderon de la Barca highlighted the need to mainstream and normalise the experience of trauma and recovery and pointed to Alanis Morissette (A Summit presenter) as an example of this normalisation process. Alanis has spoken about her “tool kit” that has assisted her in her “trauma recovery journey” and enabled her to deal with her negative inner dialogue. Her toolkit included movement through stage performances, exposure to nature (sun and water), mindfulness practices, and writing songs. Her personal way forward included pursuing relationships which, in turn, required her to manage the associated vulnerability.

Awareness of collective trauma can also be developed through prominent journalists such as Helen Pick telling their story. Helen, a British-Australian journalist who was UN Correspondent for the Guardian newspaper, shares her story of being one of the children involved in Kindertransport, removal of children from Nazi Germany to London by trains. In her recollection, published in a Guardian article titled, My Family and Other Enemy Agents, she recounts how disorientating the experience was. She found that the transfer to a foreign land “muddled her sense of identity” and she was externally identified, even as a child, as a “foreign alien”. Despite being effectively “anglicised”, Helen indicated that at some level she feels “rootless”, having lost all memory of her childhood in Austria (possibly a form of dissociative amnesia). She pointed to the documentary, Into The Arms of Strangers, as a recounting of their Kindertransport experience by a number of refugees and noted that she could relate to some aspects of their experience especially the felt need “to meld into the social fabric of their new homeland”. Producer of the film, Deborah Oppenheimer, provides insights into tone of the film, the lessons learned and the impacts of the Kindertransport experience on the lives of the children involved. Deborah received the Academy Award for the Best Documentary (Feature) in 2001.

Reflection

Alli Parker provided me with an insight into what life was like for Australian soldiers engaged in the British Commonwealth Occupation Forces in Japan. My father was stationed in Japan as part of this occupation force and I had no idea how traumatic that would have been after having survived 4 years in Changi as a prisoner-of-war of the Japanese.

I am finding that as I grow in mindfulness through a range of mindfulness practices that I am better able to understand and emphasize with my father despite his alcohol addiction as a result of PTSD.

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Image by chulmin park from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

Healing Collective Trauma

Thomas Hübl. intergenerational trauma expert, recently convened the Collective Trauma Summit 2023, designed to share ideas and healing processes “to inspire action to heal individual, ancestral and collective trauma”. The Summit was conducted online from 26 September to October 4 and was attended by 100,00 people which reinforces how pervasive trauma is within the global community. One of the goals of the Summit was to “create a global healing movement”. Thomas is the author of Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds.

Thomas and his colleagues have been conducting these trauma conferences for the past five years to raise awareness of intergenerational trauma and its impacts on individuals and communities. Intergenerational trauma is a form of genetic inheritance of trauma experienced by descendants (typically children and grandchildren) of people who have survived catastrophic traumatic events. The inherited trauma can be reflected in hypervigilance and a wide range of physical and psychological responses to triggers associated with the original trauma experienced by ancestors. While the person experiencing intergenerational trauma does not experience “flashbacks”, as they were not present during the initiating traumatic event, they can experience maladaptive behaviour as a result of the transmission of trauma and trauma responses by their ancestors.

When we speak of intergenerational trauma we often think of survivors of the Holocaust or the devastation of Hiroshima. However, there are many sources of intergenerational trauma such as genocide of Native Americans and Aboriginals, institutional or familial child abuse and or neglect, domestic violence, war, colonisation, civil wars creating refugees, chronic illnesses/diseases (such as zoonotic diseases) and natural disasters (e.g., floods, wildfires, earthquakes, droughts and cyclones/hurricanes).

Developing awareness of collective trauma

Part of the focus of the Summit was to raise awareness of the “collective trauma” that resides in the global community as a result of the multiplicity of traumatic events in our world. It means that individuals and communities are not only coping with the challenges of day-to-day living in our fast-paced world but having to deal with the residual effects of inherited trauma – the “scar tissue of collective trauma”. One of the days of the Summit was thus devoted to “global social witnessing of world-wide uncertainty”.

Robin Alfred, in his usual articulate manner, maintained that awareness of the genetic transfer of trauma can help to reverse the ill-effects of collective trauma. He suggested that developing resonance by listening can enable people to heal through expressing themselves – getting the inside outside and achieving congruence in their lives. Robin contended that trauma clouds our minds so that we see ourself as a micro ecosystem, rather than as part of a global, social ecosystem. The way forward for him is for individuals and communities to plug into the massive, self-healing biosphere. He saw “relational resonance” creating a global healing environment as people around the world became aware of “systemic/intergenerational trauma” and explored their interconnectedness for healing. One of his own awareness practices involves exploring the lives and world of people he does not know, e.g., speaking to undercover police about their psychological distress, isolation and identity crisis. He epitomises the “not-knowing” mindset in pursuing understanding of people who hitherto he “has put far away” from himself.

Healing from the effects of collective trauma

Trauma can have multiple effects on a person’s life and relationships. During the Summit people told stories of their isolation and sense of aloneness, their fear and terror, their anxiety and depression and their disempowerment. One person described her experience of trauma as ”falling into a sinkhole”. People participating in the Summit were courageous and vulnerable in sharing their trauma and how it was playing out for them in their individual lives. Thomas reiterated the healing power of storytelling, especially with the support of a community of people “feeling with you and suffering also”.

Throughout the Summit, presenters and participants shared multiple healing modalities that they have employed to overcome the effects of trauma and intergenerational trauma. These modalities included:

Ceremony
Ritual
Calling in spirits
Dance
Joyful movement
Somatic Experiencing
Experiences of connection

Special attention was given to the arts such as music, poetry, literature, and paintings. Laura Calderon de la Barca, psychotherapist specialising in collective trauma, reinforced the power of art (e.g., poetry) to enable people to share experiences that are extremely stressful. In her view, art creates “an unfolding of space that needs to happen” to enable “ex-pression” (moving the inside to outside). The sharing, in whatever form it takes, creates movement towards healing. Laura noted that writing enabled her to bring order into her own life. She maintained that when people get engaged with the issue of collective trauma, compassionate action is created. She encouraged us to connect much more deeply with nature and embrace our own vulnerability through movement and dance.

Throughout the Summit, Kim Rosen read aloud poetry that spoke to the healing process, including The Song of the Man Who has Come Through by D.H. Lawrence. She also read a number of poems for Summit participants with the music of Jamie Sieber, electronic and acoustic cellist, playing in the background. Kim is the author of the book, Saved by A Poem: The Transformative Power of Words.

The way forward for healing collective trauma

Thomas stressed the desire for “global social witnessing”, and the Summit was one form of this solution. He emphasised the need for a global movement, a form of collective endeavour, that can work towards “healing the trauma between us”. He stressed the importance of melting the permafrost of trauma by enabling traumatised people to release their feelings, building connection through data sharing and facilitating interconnectedness through growing awareness of the community of people experiencing intergenerational and cultural trauma.

Thomas spoke of our horizontal as well as our vertical responsibility. Horizontally, our responsibility involves moving beyond our “hyper-individualised world” to respond to the pain and experience of others. Vertically, it entails developing awareness of our ancestors and indigenous populations and their collective trauma, as well as consciousness of younger generations and their collective anxiety. He particularly focused on the “fragmentation” of identities and communities caused by trauma and encouraged us “to refine and deepen our capacity to relate” because it is in alive relationships that we find the energy to create, new enabling structures “that are much better for the present point of evolution”.

He encouraged us to find “different ways to experience nature and each other” so that we can develop a more integrated “healing infrastructure” for collective trauma. He suggested that we can better tap into the “self-healing” mechanism of the body through connecting with each other and sharing our stories, power and resources. Storytelling is not only healing for the storyteller but also the listener.

Ruby Mendenhall shared her insights from the Summit and highlighted the motivation and inspiration that the experience provided. She especially noted how sharing in community can heal trauma and loneliness. Ruby argued that we have to become more aware of the cost and impact of unprocessed grief, especially that flowing from adverse childhood experiences. She maintained that a lot of people feel threatened around “gender norms or race” and that we need to take up the solutions that are already present to us but somewhat underdeveloped, such as somatic healing. Ruby stressed the urgency of educating children about adverse childhood experiences, the impact on the body and relationships and the ways to develop resilience with the aid of community. Ruby’s vision for black women who have experienced violence in their community is enunciated in her TEDx Talk, DREAMING and Designing Spaces of Hope in a “Hidden America”, where the mnemonic, DREAM, stands for Developing Responses to Poverty through Education And Meaning.

Reflection

I was particularly impressed with the emphasis on storytelling as a healing modality and the power of writing to facilitate healing. I am currently researching my own memoir that I plan to write as one way to process some of the traumatic events I have experienced in my lifetime – death of a baby brother, 18 months in an orphanage, my father as a prisoner-of-war in Changi prison for three years and absent for the first six years of my life, a serious car accident in the family car at age 12, my father suffering PTSD and becoming an aggressive alcoholic, and my divorce at age 37.

In the past, I have been able to process much of my trauma through living in a supportive community and growing in mindfulness through meditation, prayer and the practice of silence. I found too, that sport and especially playing tennis helped me to deal with tension and anxiety and to focus more on the present moment.

I realised through the Summit that I have had the tendency to individualise the trauma that I have experienced as a result of the traumatic events in my life. The Summit has made me more aware of the collective nature of trauma, especially intergenerational trauma. I am becoming more aware that I am part of the community of adult children of alcoholic parents; the community of children whose father went to war and was imprisoned and experienced physical and psychological injury; the community of children who experienced institutional neglect; the community of people who lost a sibling while growing up; and the community of people who experienced a missing parent in their early childhood. This realisation of different trauma-related communities that I am a part of reinforces for me the concept of “collective trauma”.

I have found it useful to connect with a community of people who share my current issue of chronic injury and who are able to openly share their experience of pain and recovery mechanisms. This community, the Health Story Collaborative, provides story sharing opportunities and mutual support for people experiencing chronic pain, disability or illness. It reinforces the Summit’s encouragement for mutual sharing in a supportive environment – becoming a microcosm of the global healing movement addressing collective trauma. The fundamental message is that we are not alone when experiencing trauma and its negative impacts on our quality of life and relationships. Together, we can muster the energy and creativity to access individual and global healing.

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Image by Big_Heart from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

Developing Mindfulness through Nature

Sylvie Rokab recently presented a Zoom workshop as a teaser for her 8-week online course, Discover the Power of Nature-Inspired Mindfulness. The course is designed to help us relieve anxiety and release our natural power. Sylvie is a multi-talented nature lover who inspires others to appreciate nature through her talks, filmmaking, forest bathing experiences and mindfulness workshops and courses. In a TEDx talk, she spoke of the healing power of nature and described nature as medicine. A highpoint in Sylvie’s life and work is the making of the award-winning film, Love Thy Nature, as Director, with Liam Neeson as Narrator.

In the Zoom workshop, Sylvie used a visualisation exercise to help participants get in touch with nature by envisaging walking beside water flowing in a river and immersing themselves in the related sensory experiences. Participants reported a sense of calm, relaxation and peacefulness as they became immersed in this mindfulness experience.

Negativity bias contributes to anxiety

Sylvie argues that the “negativity bias” that we have inherited from Mother Nature is designed to ensure our survival as individuals and as a species – the fight/flight/freeze response mechanism enables self-protection. As Tara Brach points out in her Power of Awareness Course, the negative bias of our genetic make-up can feed anxiety and deprive us of happiness. Mindfulness, in contrast, can nurture the seeds of happiness by building awareness of everything that is positive in our life, including awe-inspiring nature.

Sylvie also explained that the culture that we live in today induces anxiety and unhappiness. The negative dynamics of our society are reflected in colonisation, mineral extraction, and the greed of invasion and land grabbing. Sylvie maintained that this “dysfunctional living” leads to a sense of disconnection and isolation as we lose sight of our connectedness. Social media and advertising, too, are biased towards messaging that emphasises our deficits – not being good enough, and how to become smarter, cool, or sexier. Tara Brach discusses the resultant “trance of separation and unworthiness” in an insightful article that focuses on “awakening” from the trance through honouring our interconnectedness with all living things, including our own bodies and nature.

Valuing our interconnectedness

Sylvie highlighted our interconnectedness with nature by stating that “nature is breathing you” and “calming your brain”. She talked of the need for a “nature fix” to enable us to relax and unwind from the busyness of life and the concurrent negative messaging. Sylvie reminded us that the definition of mindfulness proposed by Jon Kabat-Zinn emphasises adopting a non-judgmental stance. Our society, however, encourages judgment, comparison and envy which act as blocks to kindness, compassion and happiness.

Sylvie reminded us that Quantum Physics has provided evidence of the interconnectedness of everything. She encouraged us to become amazed that we are part of something that is much bigger than ourself – just viewing the images and videos of the Hubble Space Telescope can expand our horizons enormously and cultivate our sense of wonder. She suggests that the more we can remind ourselves to observe nature (e.g., the sky, trees) and imagine the earth going around the sun, the better we will be able to achieve “calm showing up in the world and in our relationships”. Sylvie quoted Rumi’s comment that we are not just a drop in the ocean but “the entire ocean in a drop” – a theme that is embraced in Lulu & Mischka’s mantra meditation, “Stillness in Motion”.

Mindfulness practices to cultivate awareness

During the Zoom workshop, Sylvie encouraged us to explore mindfulness practices to cultivate awareness. A starting point could be observing silence for 10 minutes on a daily basis – observing silence and stillness in nature is a pathway to self-awareness and resilience. Sylvie reminded us of the neuroscience supporting the value of mindfulness in altering our mind and brain.

Another mindfulness practice that Sylvie encouraged is a practice called S.T.O.P. – promoted by Tara Brach. The practice involves pausing (Stop), deep breathing (Taking a breath), noticing our emotions and bodily sensations (Observing) and responding with self-regulation (Proceeding). This practice cultivates self-awareness, emotional regulation and calmness.

Sylvie maintained that mindfulness practices designed to commune with nature awaken the senses and enable us to connect with “nature beings”. She especially encouraged nature therapy through “forest bathing” which is scientifically proven to have healing effects both mentally and physically. She also recommended that we engage with, and attract, people who are committed to, and consciously pursuing, mindfulness – arguing that “many drops of water” can make a river or ocean of support and change.

Reflection

There are many ways that we can engage with nature. Sylvie’s presentation made me more aware of the ways that I attempt to connect with nature on a daily basis – growing plants, composting and worm farming, watering our herbs and native trees, observing and listening to birds (Rainbow Lorikeets, Kookaburras, Noisy Minors, Magpies, fish-eating birds and various nectar-eaters), walking along the esplanade beside the bay and marina, and cultivating natural awareness while standing on our deck (that overlooks our back garden with a view of the Bay and islands in the background). I am often amazed by, and savour, the stunning sunrises and sunsets reflected in the water of a morning or evening.

Sylvie maintained that her course on nature-inspired mindfulness enables participants to overcome confusion and distractions caused by information overload and to revitalize their purpose while developing “a sense of community” and connectedness with nature. She encourages us to explore contemplative practices to achieve clarity about our values, vison and life purpose. These practices can enable us to be true to ourselves and live in a way that is aligned to our purpose and values. She suggested, for example, going into nature and asking questions that are potentially empowering:

What is the lesson to be learnt here?
How do I grow from my connection to nature?
How am I sharing my gifts and passion for the benefit of others?
What would my life be like if I was fully aligned to my vision, values and purpose?

As we grow in mindfulness by connecting with nature, engaging in nature-inspired contemplative practices and savour our natural environment, we can deepen our awareness, heighten our connectedness and cultivate appreciation, gratitude and compassion.

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Image by Penny from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

A Mindful Approach to Memoir Writing

Hay House Publishing recently provided a Book Writer’s Bootcamp which was held over 4 days with two hour Zoom sessions each day conducted by Reid Tracy CEO and Kelly Notaras (a 20 year veteran of the publishing industry – including a role as VP and Editorial Director for Sounds True which specialises in spirituality publishing). Reid and Kelly covered a wide range of topics associated with book writing including identifying your audience, deciding the genre of your book, the “hook” for your book, basic research, developing an outline, the roles of editors, deciding your perspective (first, second or third person or a combination) and getting published.

Both Reid and Kelly make the point that once you get started as a writer, you never know where your writing will take you. Kelly is a very experienced editor and she eventually started her own business, KN Literary Arts, where she offers book coaching, writing support, editing and assisted self-publishing. Through her website and YouTube channel, she offers free, ongoing advice and encouragement for authors. Kelly is also the author of The Book You Were Born to Write: Everything You Need to (Finally) Get Your Wisdom onto the Page and into the World.

Adopting a mindful approach to writing your memoir

Memoir writing requires mindfulness – being conscious of what you are doing in the moment and why you are doing it. It entails dealing with your thoughts and feelings as they occur (rather than pushing them aside). You have to be mindful of your audience, understand their needs and distil the wisdom of your life for their benefit. Throughout, you need to be patient, be prepared to be immersed in your focus and allow time for the book to germinate (after developing fertile ground through mindfulness). Writing will demand openness to the lessons learned in your life and in the act of reflecting and writing. Below are some things you can do to develop a mindful approach to writing your memoir.

Dealing with your own negative messaging: Seth Godin, multi-award bestseller and expert marketer, reminds us that you have to quiet your lizard brain when attempting something new. You naturally tend (through fear) to identify all the objections and potential problems. You might think that “I am not good enough”, “I am going over old ground” or that “I am not good at writing”. Mindfulness practices can help us overcome negative thinking and remove this barrier to progress. Reid and Kelly remind you that no one has had your unique life experiences or been in your position to experiment with your insights or ideas. You can bring your own “mindset and methodology” to existing knowledge areas (such as raising children, handling grief, overcoming setbacks). In relation to writing skill, one of my Professors always said that to learn to write, you need to “write, write, write!” Writing begets writing skill and I have seen this in children in primary school – by beginning with something that is achievable in the first instance and then progressively expanding their capacity. In the early days (2016) of this particular blog with its special focus on mindfulness, I was struggling to write 300-word posts; now, after more than 700 posts, I have trouble restricting my writing to around 1,000 words (my desired length).

Identify your audience: It takes discipline and considerable thinking time to understand who specifically you are writing for. Kelly reminds us that writing a memoir is “80% thinking time” and the rest actually writing and doing related tasks. The more specific you can make your audience (even just focusing on someone you know or a particular small group you have had experiences with), the easier it will be to decide what to include or exclude. If you try to write “for everybody”, you will tend to ramble and this has no appeal for, or traction with, the reader. Kelly maintains that “the more niche, the greater the success” – the more you can target your message to a specific audience “who needs what you have to share”, the more likely you are to be successful.

Know your genre: According to Kelly and Reid, memoirs tend to fall into three categories – (1) Narrative Memoir, (2) Prescriptive Non-Fiction or (3) Teaching Memoir. A narrative memoir focuses on a particular period of your life (a story) and a related theme; prescriptive non-fiction focuses on “how-to-do” something, for example, writing, meditation, cooking or managing time; and the teaching memoir melds storytelling with “lessons” (e.g. through exercises or guides). Kelly helps you to delineate these different genres by providing a free download to subscribers in the form of Three Classic Book Outlines – outlines that cover each of the three types of memoirs mentioned above. An outline is critical for structuring your writing and determining your outline is typically an iterative process as you begin to write and understand your audience and your theme/focus. Kelly also talks about the differences between memoirs and autobiographies in one of her many YouTube videos.

Check whether your book has resonance with your audience: Both Hay House and KN Literary Arts focus on transformational non-fiction – this is where someone who has experienced some form of “transformation” wants to share their acquired insights and wisdom by writing a self-help book, an inspirational memoir, or focusing their book on personal growth or spiritual development. In one of her videos, Kelly provides the Three Keys for effectively undertaking transformational non-fiction. Besides focusing on your own wisdom (not that of someone else you admire), Kelly encourages you to take the time necessary to distil your wisdom from your own experience and to identify what will have resonance with your audience. She suggests “teaching before you write your book” is a good way to undertake what she calls “resonance and development” – through research, identifying more completely what your audience needs. Kelly argues that “books tend to germinate slowly” and will develop according to their own schedule, not yours. She maintains that you need to take the time necessary to build greater resonance with your audience and to develop the insight to discern the connections amongst seemingly discrete events/experiences. Too often, intending writers have failed to achieve the necessary immersion in their topic/theme to achieve the required level of clarity to facilitate effective writing. Lack of immersion will be reflected in “poor digestion” of the issues/problems being addressed and leave the reader confused and uncertain and unwilling to recommend your book.

Overcoming writer’s block: There are numerous suggestions on the Internet for overcoming writer’s block. Some people encourage mindful walking to clear your mind and develop self-awareness. Other suggestions include journalling (and naming your feelings about writing), speed writing or writing poetry. Nancy Levin, author of Writing for My Life…Reclaiming the Lost Pieces of Me: A Poetic Journey, offers insights into how to explore your own vulnerability and connect with others through poetry. Reading memoirs of others can also act as a stimulus to free up your thinking and writing (Kelly and Reid suggest that this reading research is a necessary component for effective memoir writing anyway).

Consciously overcoming the tendency to perfectionism: Both Reid and Kelly maintain that you should write your first draft of your book before you begin editing. This avoids the tendency to perfectionism – a tendency that can create a severe blockage in your writing. If you don’t hold off editing until you finish your first draft, you can end up in a process of continuous writing and rewriting without achieving any substantial progress on your manuscript. The same principle applies to your efforts to write a hook for your memoir or an initial outline. Start with a tentative hook and outline and refine them as you go – you will gain greater clarity for both as your write.

Reflection

What is very clear from the Hay House Bootcamp and related writing and videos is that in writing a memoir you are processing yourself as well as providing a resource for others. As Kelly points out, your book itself can actually be a milestone in your own learning (or spiritual) journey. Elsewhere, I have written about the Healing Power of Storytelling. Creating a reflective blog can also help you to discover your inner author and develop the mindfulness necessary to produce a successful memoir.

In participating in the Bootcamp, I became aware of a number of options that I have for advancing my own writing. One is a teaching memoir based on my varied life experiences as a contemplative monk, academic, consultant, manager, father and writer. The other is a form of prescriptive non-fiction focused on my action learning experiences. With the former, the teaching memoir, I need to do considerably more research to fill in the gaps in my life history and decide a particular focus or theme to write about (I view this as an iterative process). The prescriptive non-fiction option is something that I can start immediately because I have already completed the requisite “resonance and development” having conducted numerous workshops with my audience over more than a decade, undertaken PhD studies in the area, conducted participative presentations, written book chapters and articles on the topic and used this blog as a form of reflective journal. Reid and Kelly maintain that these kinds of activities along with the use of social media provide a “platform” for your book launch.

As I grow in mindfulness by adopting different mindfulness practices, I look forward to gaining greater self-awareness, consolidating my message (in both genres) and developing my concentration and writing processes. At the moment, I am exploring self-publishing options through the resources and guidance provided by Kelly’s KN Literary Arts and Balboa Press (a division of Hay House).

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Image by Anna from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

Our Friend Kay: A Life of Openness and Curiosity

Recently we lost a long-standing friend with the death of Kay Dickie on 3 August 2023. My wife and I have known Kay for forty years – from both a work and a personal perspective. Her career was interlaced with both our work lives during her many interludes in the world of work. More recently, Kay has shared her love of music with us in the wonderful setting of Stradbroke Island. Her life was lived with a mindful curiosity that manifested her inquisitee mind and her deep appreciation of everything in life – life’s mysteries, nature, her friends and beloved dog, .

Exploring the world of work with Kay

I first met Kay when she was Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) Coordinator in the Federal Department of Social Security and I was Director, Corporate Services reporting to the State Director. One particular case of sexual harassment stands out in my mind because it illustrates Kay’s commitment, compassion and dogged perseverance. She had been blocked by multiple levels of management when trying to investigate what proved to be a serious case of sexual harassment. Kay, through my agency, was able to act to unearth the issue, circumvent the power politics and prevent the harassment from continuing.

Kay’s inquisitive mind was not easily fobbed off by managerial intransigence – it only encouraged her to explore deeper and exhaust all avenues for a resolution. My current consulting colleague, Julie Cork, who was EEO Director at the Commonwealth Public Service Board in Brisbane at the time, commented that Kay had a profound understanding of the EEO Coordinator role and was able to articulate it clearly within her Department and in the broader Coordinator network.

Kay was a strong advocate of action learning and in her work and personal life she epitomised supportive challenge and asking fresh questions as encouraged by Reg Revans, the Father of Action Learning. From 1991 – 1994, Kay was the Project Manager for the University of Queensland Action Learning Program (ALP) which was judged Best Practice by the Committee for Quality Assurance in Higher Education. Kay and I wrote a report on the first two years of the Program which was published by the Tertiary Education Institute at the University of Queensland in 1993.

I was External Consultant and Mentor for the Program Team in the first five years of the ALP Program which eventually ran for 9 years. The program – its philosophy, processes and outcomes – was the subject of my PhD published in 1996, Action Learning for Professional and Organisation Development: An Action Research Case Study in Higher Education. The PALS Model developed as part of my PhD research was published in an article I wrote for The Learning Organisation Journal 2002, Creating innovation and synergy through a parallel action learning structure.

Kay was also Project Manager for the 1995 National Research Project, Action Learning in Vocational Education and Training. The project involved 9 researchers, including myself, and produced four major reports which became the foundation documentation for the nationally accredited Certificate 4 in Change Management – Action learning. As part of the project, Kay and I undertook a series of interviews of managers who had introduced action learning into their organisations. This research included an interview with the CEO of Kinney Shoes (Australia) that had nearly 500 stores throughout Australia. Kay and I collaborated with a number of other researchers on the project to produce Volume 3: Applied Principles for the national project. This volume incorporated cases studies developed through our interviews.

Curiosity about energy and consciousness

Kay was a prime mover in organising the ALAR National Conference in 1996, Energy Switch: the possibilities offered by action learning, action research, and process oriented methods. Dr. Bert Cunnington provided the plenary presentation on the topic, All you need is love: the loving, learning organisation. Bert maintained that organisations needed to move from “the negative energy of fear, doubt, and competition” to the “positive energy of love, faith, collaboration and creativity.” Bert referred to the research that highlighted the high incidence of illness and the related job dissatisfaction in organisations. He contended that the solution to dealing with the stresses of current organisational life lay in the 4 C’s – challenge, commitment, control and connection. The emphasis here is on stimulation through challenge, commitment to meaningful work, individual self-efficacy and agency and connection through social support (within and outside work and family). Bert’s presentation is documented in the ALAR Journal under the title, Dedication- to Dr. Bert Cunnington (Vol 2 No 2 – pages 3-17).

Kay was fascinated by consciousness and the relevant insights from quantum physics and frequently referred to energy as a key element of life. She cited Albert Einstein’s perspective, “What we call matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses”. Einstein’s perception that “everything is energy” that can only be changed, not destroyed, opened up Kay’s horizon on consciousness and spirituality. She agreed with Einstein’s statement, “We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us”. Kay reflected what Einstein said of himself, “I’m passionately curious”. On her 76^th birthday, three months before she died, Kay reflected, “the older I get, seeking is the only game in town”.

Reflection

Kay began exploring quantum physics and energy when she was undertaking a Masters Degree. Like Margaret Wheatley she was keen to learn what quantum physics meant for organisations and her own personal life. Margaret explored the writers in the area in her ground-breaking 1992 book, Leadership and the New Science: Learning about Organizations from an Orderly Universe. Margaret’s quest and challenging questions, mirrored Kay’s search for understanding.

Cliff Bunning, Kay’s supervisor, explored in depth how quantum physics relates to developing our spiritual life. In his 2011 book, The Direct Path to Self-Realisation and Beyond, he maintained that “all feelings good and bad are basically the same energy…flowing in the opposite direction”. He suggests that positive energy can be generated by expressing gratitude, being forgiving, giving positive vibes, having a pet, feeding your mind with positive information, connecting with nature regularly and “following your heart”.

Global leadership coach and biophysicist, Ginny Whitelaw, contends that leadership in organisations is about resonance. In her book, Resonate: Zen and the Way of Making a Difference, she maintains that the role of a leader is that of an “energy concentrator”, achieving “synchronous vibration” with followers through listening, mindfulness practices such as Tai Chi, connecting with the energy of nature and accessing our positive energy force through deep breathing.

Kay exhibited positive energy derived from her deep love of nature, her extended social network, and her positive outlook on life. She drew energy from everything around her and especially the waters and trees of Stradbroke Island. She once commented, “I need to be near water, otherwise I shrivel up”. Her life was a simple life that made a difference in the lives of the people she interacted with.

Diana Winston, Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), defines mindfulness as paying attention to our present moment experiences with openness and curiosity and a willingness to be with what is. Kay epitomised mindful living. As we grow in mindfulness through our own connection with nature and all that is positive in our lives, we can also make a real difference through the positive energy and vibration that we emit.

While composing this blog post, I came across a song, Curiosity Abounds, by Modus Operandi. Their instrumental album that this song is drawn from, Organic Exploratorium, involves “Discovery backdrops and positive soundtracks filled with the promises of education, research, the future”. The album includes other songs like Curiosity in Planets, Inquisitive Minds, Reality Beckons, Explore the Unknown, Another Day to Explore – all of which resonate strongly with Kay’s outlook on life.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

Consolidating a Career: Establishing a Career Identity

Angela Duckworth, in her book, Grit: Why passion and perseverance are the secrets to success, describes George E. Vaillant, Professor of Psychology (Harvard Medical School), as an exemplar of “grit”. George was Director of Harvard’s Study of Adult Development for more than 30 years and persisted in data collection and interpretation over those years – mining the “gold” within the longitudinal study undertaken over 75 years. He was particularly enamoured by the richness of such a prospective study which enabled data collection and interpretation as both the circumstances and characteristics of study participants changed over time – information being captured at different age points in their life (such as thirty, fifty, sixty and eighty).

George readily acknowledges that not only did the study participants change over time, but the interpretive framework, including his own evolving understanding, changed as well. He was very conscious of the biological mindset of the early investigators on the research project and his own latter bias towards psychological frameworks. His third book about the study, Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study, illustrates very clearly his personal evolution as well as that of the people undertaking the study – he often acknowledges how his assumptions about an individual’s potential proved to be wrong (based on his prior erroneous reasoning).

Consolidating a career – an evolutionary concept

George was strongly influenced by the adult development framework of Erik Erikson presented in his book, Childhood and Society. In his Pulitzer Prize winning book, Erik identified 8 stages of psychological development, including Stage 5 – Identity Versus Confusion. George attempted to fit the data on the psychological development of his study participants to this stage as described by Erik Erikson. However, George found that while study participants were able to establish a personal identity, they often had not developed a “career identity”. He decided to divide Erik’s “Identity versus Confusion stage” into two separate stages – “Identity” (versus “Identity Diffusion”) and “Career Consolidation” (versus “Role Diffusion”). Identity in George’s terms means “to separate from social, economic, and ecological dependence upon one’s parents”. Career consolidation, on the other hand, leads to “Career Identity” (a state he contrasts with experiencing role diffusion – an inability to commit to a “work” role that provides both personal enjoyment and social contribution).

Career Identity

The outcome of George’s “Career Consolidation” stage is “Career Identity”. He maintains that this stage of adult development involves four key tasks – commitment, compensation, contentment, and competence. George suggests that if all four are not present, then what is often involved is a job, not a career. The tasks of commitment and contentment reflect the perseverance and passion that I discussed as core elements of “grit”. Compensation often reflects competence but George points out that it can be a misleading concept where women’s compensation is involved (because of a lack of equal pay) and also for househusbands who he considered to have a “consolidated career” if commitment, contentment and competence are present (despite the lack of adequate compensation). Effectively, “compensation” is the more flexible element of his Carrer Identity stage.

George also argues that Career Identity involves a basic paradox in that commitment to a career that is sufficiently contributory beyond the self to warrant compensation, is also a “selfish” pursuit in that it requires the self-absorption necessary to develop the requisite competence. He suggests that society is tolerant of both men and women as they attempt to develop the “sense of competence” that underpins Career Identity.

Reflection

When I look at George’s concept of Career Identify, I reflect on my own work life as an academic. I can see that my academic career spanning more than thirty years had each of the four elements present – commitment, contentment, compensation and competence (the latter reinforced by the award of Emeritus Professor on retirement). While many elements of this career and associated identification were personally rewarding, some aspects were not. I enjoyed teaching students, examining Masters and Doctoral Theses and the researching/learning that such a career entailed; however, I did not appreciate the politics of academia that diverted my energy and attention away from my core role(s).

As I grow in mindfulness, through reflection and other mindfulness practices, I have come to value my career and its highlights, to be grateful for the opportunities that it provided (including overseas travel) and for the mentors and supporters (including my parents) who made my progression possible. Without their guidance and belief in my capacity, I would not have been able to achieve this aspect of the Identity Stage of adult development.

One of my mentors, Professor David Limerick, died recently after leading an exemplary life encompassing Career Consolidation, robust self-esteem, love of family, generosity towards others and an enduring love of nature and music. I can readily feel the imprint of his life on my own mindset and personal development, my love of nature and music, and my perspective on organisation change and development. To this day, I appreciate the time and effort he took to enable us to co-author an award-winning article – Transformation Change: Towards an Action Learning Organization (1995 Award for Excellence, The Learning Organization Journal).

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

A Reflection on Writing the Grow Mindfulness Blog

This reflection was stimulated by Haruki Murakami’s book, Novelist As A Vocation, in which he shares his origins as a writer, his approach to writing and some of the challenges he has had to deal with along the way. The ideas he shares resonate strongly with my own experience of writing this blog, even though this is not a novel but a very different writing genre. The fact that the blog involves creativity and the art of writing provides the common ground to explore Murakami’s experience and ideas.

The creative stimulus

Murakami begins a novel with a basic story that evolves as he introduces his characters – he explains, “In most cases, the characters who appear in my novels naturally emerge from the flow of my story”. The stimulus for his story is something he has observed happening, specific behaviours of an individual or an incident in his own life. Like Charles Dickens, he is a keen observer of behaviour – he maintains that the stimulus for a story comes from glancing at a person’s appearance, “how they talk and act, their special characteristics”. He notes, too, that it is not enough just to notice people that you like – you also need to notice those you dislike and try to understand why you feel this way about them.

Like Murakami, my stimulus for a blog post is typically an interaction that I have had, a behaviour I have observed in my organisational consulting/manager development work, a current experience that I am having or something I have read or heard. I often draw inspiration for a blog post from listening to a podcast, reading an article, or participating in a Summit or Conference. I typically focus on current issues such as Long Covid, trauma, mental health and working from home – all the time exploring the linkages with mindfulness and mindfulness practices.

The role of characters/ stimulators

Interestingly, Murakami maintains that he does not start out with a highly developed character or group of characters. He contends that characters emerge as he begins to write and becomes captured by the creative process that he enjoys immensely. He goes so far as to say that “characters take on a life of their own”, even leading the novelist to an “unexpected destination”.

I can relate to these comments about characters by substituting the concept of the “stimulator” – the author, podcaster, interviewee or presenter who stimulates my creative endeavour to write a blog post about their ideas, actions or perspectives. As the blog post emerges through my writing, the line of discussion or argument can take an unexpected turn as I often start out without a firm idea of where a blog post will end up. For example, in my latest blog post I wrote about nurture by nature and stewardship of nature in our immediate environment and ended up where I least expected.

When I started out writing, these two aspects (nurture and stewardship) were discrete elements in my mind and that of the “stimulator”. However, as I progressed with writing the post, I decided to add the ideas of Costa Georgiadis from his book, Costa’s World, as a way of reinforcing the message of the reciprocal relationship with nature – nurture and stewardship. However, through Costa’s influence, I ended up changing my perspective and began to understand that by stewarding nature we are simultaneously opening ourselves up to nurturing by nature (e.g. restoration of peace and calm, stimulation of wonder and awe). I came to understand that nurture and stewardship are not necessarily discrete activities (although they may be in certain circumstances). Costa’s World is the bible for my current composting and gardening activities.

Drawing on stored memories

Murakami states that the characters he employs in his novel are not real people (and definitely not himself) but represent an amalgam of characters drawn from stored memories of people, experiences and places. He weaves elements of different people into any one character to give them life and meaning in the context of what he is writing about. He may draw directly on his own experience relevant to the topic but it is often well disguised.

When I write a blog post, I draw on my stored memory of what I have written previously (not just my current blog) and books/novels/memoirs I have read that reinforce some aspect of what I am writing about (or, alternatively that put forward a contrary view). The blog post then tends to take on a life of its own and can arrive at a different place to what I intended at the outset. Sometimes I will even incorporate poetry or songs (especially mantra meditations) if they add to, or reinforce, the overall message – there are many occasions, synchronistically, where a song I am listening to reinforces where I am up to in writing a blog post (I typically listen to mantra meditations as I write). Examples of this are Alexa Chellun’s Healing Song and Metamorphosis by Lulu & Mischka.

Criticism and compliments

Murakami discusses one lesson that he has learnt as a professional writer – no matter what he writes or how long it is, someone will criticise his work. He concluded that it was best to ignore these adverse comments and just “write what I want to write, in the way I want to write it”. I can concur in this view because there is no way that you can please everyone. This approach creates a unique sense of freedom (unlike the constrictions of academic writing!).

Murakami also noted that “people of different age groups” seem to be reading his novels – e.g. parents encourage children to read his books (or vice versa). Compliments from people acknowledge the difference that his writing has made in their lives and hearing these comments “really cheers him up”. I too really appreciate the compliment when people comment positively on my blog posts and/or seek a link to what they are working on that is relevant to the topic of my post.

Gestation and the creative process

Murakami adopts the discipline of daily writing because this enables creativity to flow. He also employs a daily fitness routine which includes running (and sometimes marathons) – he maintains that you have to be fit to write for extended periods and physical activity stimulates the brain.

Gestation for my blog posts begins with reading (e.g. Tina Turner’s book), listening to a podcast (e.g. Life Through Transitions by Jon DeWaal) or watching a video (e.g. the video interview with Susan Bolt). I usually take notes and record any connections with something else I have written or remember – this enables me to expand my thinking beyond the original stimulus (and the stimulator’s perspective). Typically, I will let my subconscious mind work on the topic overnight and begin afresh the next morning (being a “morning person”, I write best in the early mornings). I find that this gestation process usually leads to the emergence of a structure for my blog post and unearthing of connections that I had not previously thought of – these connections become “top-of-mind” rather than staying submerged. I also try to keep fit through walking, Tai Chi and physical exercises designed to redress my spinal degeneration.

Reflection

Murakami maintains that each person has to find their own style of writing, whether they are writing a novel, an essay or a short story. The same is true of writing a blog – the writer’s life experience and perspectives, as well as the focus of the blog, influence the nature and structure of the writing process.

As I reflect on my life and my reading/listening/viewing, I am able to grow in mindfulness. Like Murakami, I can attain a deeper level of self-awareness and new perspectives while enhancing my capacity to think and write. Examples of my growing sense of self-awareness include my discussion of resentment and blind spots.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Developing a Reciprocal Relationship with Nature – Nurture and Stewardship

In the recent Nature Summit, Roshi Joan Halifax –writer, teacher, artist and activist – stressed the need for a reciprocal relationship with nature. She suggests that too often mindfulness practitioners focus only on the nurture that they can obtain from nature but overlook the “imperative to steward where we are’ – to look after, and care for, nature in our immediate environment. Joan contends that this reciprocal relationship is critical in our current challenging times when we are confronted by the devastation of climate change simultaneously with the ongoing global erosion of mental health.

Experiencing nurture in nature

Joan mentioned that she is “restored in the natural world” but not in the “constructed world” of cities. However, she counsels against despising or devaluing the constructed world. Nature surrounds us wherever we are. Joan mentioned seeing a hawk nesting on the edge of a building in New York and visiting Central Park. While these experiences of nature in the built environment are part of restoring our spirit, the depth of nurture achieved through immersion in the natural environment is of a different order and more pervasive and lasting.

Joan explains that in nature we can recapture the silence that the busy world of today has taken from us – we can access the power of stillness and silence to cultivate our creativity and our resilience. Joan describes her mindful practice in the mountains of “just sitting in choiceless awareness” and gaining the restorative benefits of nature through this goal-less approach. She explains how she sees mountains as “places of meditation’ and has learned to value “solitude in nature”.

Joan discussed how her work through the Nomads Clinic (a form of socially engaged Buddhism she established in 1980) brought her into contact not only with the Himalayas but also the people of remote places such as Nepal and Tibet. She describes the Himalayan mountains as “very raw, very tough, very dangerous” and the people of these remote communities as “fantastic people, very robust, with a wonderful sense of humour”. She acknowledges that the mountains and the mountain people have taught her much about “humour and resilience”.

Many mindfulness authors such as Louie Schwartzberg highlight the power of nature to stimulate wonder and awe in us. Louie, in his Wonder & Awe podcast, shares the recent research of Michelle Shiota, that demonstrates that we become “better thinkers when we are feeling awe”. In his talks and films, Louie stresses that nature induces healing and helps us to develop a sense of gratitude and appreciation that lead to happiness, health and profound joy.

Pamela Anderson, in her memoir Love, Pamela, describes nature as her friend and teacher. She states that she is “always curious and wants to know what nature is trying to teach” because to her “everything is a clue or a sign”. Nature had always been a part of her life growing up on Vancouver Island and for her birthday each year she asked her two boys to volunteer with her at the California Wildlife Center – which involved cleaning birdcages and feeding birds and squirrels. In line with this work Pamela and her family cared for a possum as well as pelicans and seals, even undertaking a marine mammal rescue course together.

At one stage in her performing career she was exhausted in “mind, body and soul” and decided to spend a month reconnecting with her adult sons in Malibu and with nature. She found that connecting with nature (including during her five-mile daily walks), along with Pilates, enabled her to reconnect with her body and detox both physically and emotionally. When she was at Café Sénéquier at Port de Saint Tropez in France (where she went to recover from an abusive relationship), she watched the sunrises and yachts in the harbour, while “luxuriating in my own blossoming life” – nature again elicits gratitude and appreciation.

There are many ways to engage the nurturing power of nature, to understand and appreciate our interconnectedness with nature and deepen our relationship with nature. Louie Schwartzberg reminds us that we are able to widen and deepen our perspective on nature beyond our unique childhood experience and understanding. One way to do this is to adopt the mindset of stewardship of nature.

Stewardship of nature

Joan Halifax stressed the “moral responsibility” to undertake stewardship of our immediate natural environment – in her words, “to steward, protect and restore”. She argues that it is important to plant diverse species because diversity is “essential for the health of any ecosystem or social system”. Her interviewer and founder of the Nature Summit, Mark Coleman, stated that we are currently experiencing “a painful time of degradation, loss of species and places that we love”.

Stewardship can involve many different environmental caring actions such as:

Composting
Planting trees
Caring for pot plans (both exterior and interior plants)
Growing herbs
Planting native trees that attract birds and bees
Providing shelter for birds and possums
Creating gardens of diverse species
Trimming dead leaves or branches
Enriching our soil
Cultivating worm farms
Conscious consumption.

Costa Georgiadis in his book, Costa’s World, suggests that we take up gardening “for the soil, the soul and the suburbs” – in his view, nurture through nature and stewardship of nature are not discrete activities, they occur together. He encourages us to be mindful of our immediate environment and get to know our microenvironment.

Pamela Anderson stressed her sense of being responsible for stewardship of nature in her home environment. She luxuriates in her garden developed when she returned to Vancouver Island in her latter years. Her first garden involving “five thousand feet of roses and vegetables” (planted by seed by herself) grew impressively. She developed solar energy, a sustainable water management system and set about “re-wilding” her property – a concept involving complementing the natural environment and protecting what already exists. She immersed herself in her “Garden of Eden” and the “salty, earthy fragrance” of the sea. Pamela attests to Costa’s perspective that nurture and stewardship go hand in hand and complement and reinforce each other.

Reflection

In his book, Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World through Mindfulness, Jon Kabat-Zin urges us to develop mindfulness through our senses. He talks of the immediacy of our external environment – the soundscape, the touchscape, the tastescape, the smellscape and the sightscape. Joan Halifax reminds us that nature provides the whole sensory experience – we can hear birds, touch plants, smell aromas from trees, taste native fruits, see the beauty and wonders of nature and feel the strength of the wind and the pressure on our bodies.

By spending time in nature and stewarding our immediate natural environment, we can grow in mindfulness and experience happiness and joy, peace and tranquility, gratitude and resilience. Nature has many gifts to offer but it needs to be visited and cared for. Micah Mortali offers ways to connect with nature in his book, Rewilding: Meditations, Practices and Skills for Awakening in Nature.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Managing Life Transitions through Storytelling

Many writers and podcasters highlight the challenges involved in life transitions. Some focus on specific transitions such as aging, menopause for women, or transitions precipitated by organisational change. Their discussions frequently highlight the need to reframe specific transitions such as aging or job loss as periods of growth and creativity rather than decline – this means changing our mindset and our narrative about these transitional periods. As William and Susan Bridges point out in their book, Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, many people become stuck in the “endings” phase of transitions because they focus solely on what is being lost, rather than appreciating the potentiality of “new beginnings”.

Bruce Feiler, in his TED Talk©, The Secret to Mastering Life’s Transitions, contends that one of the core problems people have in managing life’s transitions is that they have a linear mindset, a perception that life is always “onwards and upwards” with a predictable forward-moving pattern – schooling, job, home purchase, marriage, and children, and career promotion. We are thus ill-prepared for “setbacks” or deviations that occur through job loss, ill-health, loss of a partner, or physical disability. Bruce, who was diagnosed with cancer when he was a new father of twin girls, suggests that when we are “side-tracked” or things go “offtrack”, we can feel as though we are “living life out of order” – living a life that is totally unexpected. In his TED Talk© and his book, Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at any Age, Bruce maintains that life is a series of “disruptors” and some of these are “lifequakes” that involve massive change and demand managing the transition to a new state.

The role of storytelling in managing life transitions

Bruce, along with many other writers, podcasters and public speakers, offers tips for managing life transitions that we encounter. He maintains that a key to transition is to explore our “life story” – this is the narrative we create about our own life. The solution to mastering transitions is often in our own narrative – false assumptions, self-deceits, delusions or denials (e.g. “it can’t happen to me”!). Bruce maintains that a life transition, especially a “lifequake”, is an invitation to “revisit, rewrite and retell our life story”. He offers a catalyst for this process through his Life Story Online Interview which provides an interactive form for reflection on, and recording of, our personal narrative. Bruce’s insights on life transitions have been gained through his own life experiences as well as through over 1,000 interviews with people about their life story.

Jon DeWaal, in his TED Talk©, Two Factors that Make or Break Every Messy Life Transition, stresses the need, when exploring our life story and the associated narrative, to adopt two practices to ensure that the exploration leads to a constructive outcome. Firstly, he contends that we need to be honest with ourselves – to own up to our own part in contributing to our side track or offtrack experience. This requires deep reflection, total honesty, self-awareness and avoidance of the tendency to blame others rather than look at ourselves. Associated with this is what he calls “community support” – not the gentle, warm kind that confirms our invalid self-assessment, but the kind that offers “supportive challenge” which makes us confront our weaknesses, unfounded assumptions or persistent mistakes/oversight. Jon is a learning facilitator and life transition guide at Liminal Space – a team of transition experts who can help us grow and thrive through difficult transitions. Jon is also the creator of the podcast, Life Through Transitions, drawing ideas and inspiration from interviewees who have been able to make life’s “formative transitions” into opportunities for personal transformation.

Dr. Annie Brewster, MD, and journalist Rachel Zimmerman, in their book, The Healing Power of Storytelling, focus on the personal narrative as a way to “navigate illness, trauma and loss”. Annie shares her own life experiences and transitions and, together with her co-author, offers specific guidance in the process of using storytelling for healing. She is also the founder of the Healing Story Collaborative which provides shared stories and resources through a collaborative blog – processes that are open to anyone to engage with personal storytelling for the purpose of healing.

Reflection

We are continuously controlled by the narrative in our head and this is particularly true in times of significant life transitions. We can become embroiled in negative self-stories, get stuck in the endings phase or be blind to the creative options open to us in a life transition. We need to break this destructive cycle especially when confronted with what Bruce describes as a “lifequake”.

Using reflective storytelling, meditation and other related practices enables us to grow in mindfulness and can help us to increase our self-awareness and insight, to have the courage to move beyond our “comfort zone” and to creatively explore options to manage difficult life transitions and move forward to a new personal identity and reality.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Feeling Free through Mindfulness

Allyson Pimentel recently facilitated a guided meditation podcast on the theme, Mindfulness and Feeling Free – one of the many weekly Hammer meditations offered through MARC. Allyson is a very experienced meditation teacher and is highly qualified in Human Development and Psychology. Her interests include helping people to achieve positive mental health and social justice activism.

Allyson explains at the outset that mindfulness involves paying attention purposefully on the present moment (not on the future or the past as these can lead to anxiety or depression). This paying attention is done with kindness towards ourselves and others and with an openness that enables us to accept what is, while having the courage and compassion to address toxic situations.

Allyson reminds us that mindfulness now represents the intersection of ancient traditions (such as Buddhism) with the new (e.g. neuroscience investigations such as those undertaken by MARC, the Mindful Awareness Research Center). These two macro streams of thinking and practice have merged to enable us to explore our inner landscape, improve our quality of life and assist us to show up in our life and our everyday context.

Achieving freedom through mindfulness

Allyson contends that mindfulness can liberate us from ways of seeing the world, ourselves and others that are self-limiting and potentially injurious. Our reality is very much influenced by our thoughts which can constrain us and leave us stuck in habituated patterns of behaviour. We can become immersed in negative thoughts and be captured by the “inner critic” that devalues who we are and what we have achieved.

Through mindfulness we can increase our awareness of negative and disabling self-beliefs and free ourselves from the chains of “victimhood”. As Dr. Edith Eger points out, we can choose freedom over victimhood. Mindfulness enables us to become aware of how our victim mentality is shaping our worldview, our interpersonal relationships and our mental health. Increasingly, research into the benefits of mindfulness reinforce the view that gratitude, savouring what we are and have through mindful awareness, can serve as an antidote to negativity and challenging emotions such as anger, resentment and envy.

Guided meditation

In guiding our approach to developing freedom through mindfulness, Allyson suggests that we identify a firmly held belief that is holding us back (it does not have to be something of massive import, but a simple belief that negatively impacts in some way where we are at in this moment). She leads us through a meditation process that enables us to identify the way this belief constrains our view of ourselves, our interactions with others and our options for addressing our current dissatisfaction, delusion or distress.

During the meditation, I found that I wanted to focus on my recurring belief that my recently diagnosed “multi-level spinal degeneration” cannot be redressed thus impacting my willingness to undertake a range of healing modalities. Associated with this is the belief that I will never be able play tennis again, despite assurances to the contrary from a number of my healing practitioners. The guided meditation helped me to restore my belief in the body’s capacity to heal itself and to strengthen my motivation to earnestly undertake a range of alternative healing modalities that have proven successful in the past in reversing the disabling impact of spinal degeneration.

Reflection

In introducing her guided meditation, Allyson reminds us that as we grow in mindfulness we are building our resilience and renewing our commitment to persist with mindfulness practices (a commitment that works very much through the power of the psychological principle of “self-efficacy”).

Resilience is important when we encounter challenging situations that stretch our capacity to deal with the potentially negative outcomes of the situation. Mindfulness helps us to change our perspective on obstacles to personal growth and health and to view them as a means to grow in insight and wisdom. Allyson quotes the following saying that invites us to view our everyday experiences as opportunities for growth:

“Grow through what we go through.”

Mindfulness practices deepen our self-awareness, enhance our curiosity about ourselves and others, opens up the window of opportunity, heightens our ability to shape our intentions and strengthens our resolve to make a difference in our own lives and that of others.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.