Category: Mindfulness Practice

Poetry as Mindfulness

In the previous blog post, I discussed the mindfulness practices that Mary Fowler, international soccer star, uses to grow her resilience, support her mental health and develop calm and happiness. What I did not include in these discussions is the poetry that Mary writes and incorporates in the chapters of her memoir, Bloom: Creating a life I love.

Poetry can be a rich source of mindfulness, both when reading poems or writing them.  Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, author of Exploring Poetry of Presence 11: Prompts to Deepen Your Writing Practice, explains how writing poetry can be a mindfulness practice.  Her book provides not only a guide to reading Poetry of Presence 11- More Mindfulness Poems, but also a stimulus to our own poetry writing.  To achieve guidance for reading the focal book, Rosemerry draws on every poem in the book and uses them and other poems to stimulate our own writing of poetry.

Rosemerry co-hosts the podcast Emerging Form that discusses how to develop the creative process and provides examples.  Her poetry is published widely and her anthologies include Hush (a winner of the Halcyon Prize), Naked for Tea, and All the Honey.  She has written a poem daily since 2006 and these can be accessed by subscribing to her mailing list and/or by reading her blog, A Hundred Falling Veils.  Rosemerry also produces an audio daily, The Poetic Path, which she describes as “an immersive daily experience of poetry and reflection”. 

Writing poems as a mindfulness practice

Writing poems develops our capacity to be in the present moment, to be open to the richness of our daily experience and to engage more consciously with others and the world at large. Writing cultivates curiosity and acceptance of what is.  It enables us “to show up in the moment”, if we arrive daily with a pen in our hand or a digital device for capturing our thoughts, observations and reflections in-the-moment.

Writing poems changes the way we engage with others, ourselves and our daily environment. It makes us more aware of, and open to, both our external and internal worlds and helps us to achieve an integration between them.  When we are seeking to write poetry, we are on the lookout for inspiration and are more conscious of what is going on in our life, in our body and in our mind – it makes us so much more grounded in the reality of our everyday life.

Rosemerry maintains that we should not seek to write “good” poetry according to external standards or those of other people. She argues that this only taps into our negative self-thoughts and cultivates a mindset of criticism and can lead us to get stuck or frustrated.  For her, this self-criticism is the opposite of being mindful – it is not accepting what is and how our writing reflects the vicissitudes of our daily life and our natural responses to how we experience our reality.  She encourages us to write from our own truth – what is true for us in this moment of writing.

The outcomes of writing poems as a mindfulness practice

Rosemerry draws on her own poem-writing experience to provide a “caveat” for the readers of her book.  She counsels us to be aware that not only will our writing change but a lot of other things in our life will change too in unpredictable ways.  She explains that using writing as a mindfulness practice has made her more open to life, softened her perspective on many things and enabled her to be “more willing to be vulnerable”.

She found that through her poetry writing she became more honest and trusting.  A key outcome of this mindfulness practice was her ability to meet “great loss”, in particular, when her son took his own life.  Rosemerry contends that the mindfulness practice of writing poetry really matters when we are faced with “trauma, loss, fear and woundedness”.  In her anthology of poems titled The Unfolding, written after the deaths of her son and father, she shares her aching heart while savouring beauty and wonder.  Her poems in this collection convey contrasting states such as playful and sombre. They express a life lived fully, consciously and openly.

Despite her grief over her son’s death, Rosemerry experienced an ever-increasing capacity and desire to be open to the richness of life. In the process, she was able to love and connect even amidst “the tough stuff”.   She attributes the mindfulness practice of writing poetry to her ability to avoid “shutting down” in the face of extraordinary pain.  Having established a “practice of presence”, she was able to show up each day.  Her daily stimulus for writing was a set of questions such as, (1) “What is here?” and (2) “What is true right now?”.  We could add for our own writing practice the question, “How do I want to show up today?”.

Rosemerry contends that gaining these mindfulness outcomes does not depend on our talent, wisdom or skill level – all that is required is to “show up with a blank piece of paper and a pen”.  She maintains that using other people’s poems as a guide can help us to write as well as drawing on the writing prompts she provides in her book or other books such as Exploring Poetry of Presence: A Companion Guide by Gloria Heffernan.

Writing prompts for poems

Throughout her book, Rosemerry provides a series of writing prompts to enable us to write our own poems if we need an external stimulus.  Sometimes poems just come to us, catalyzed by significant events in our lives. The writing prompts she offers are an invitation to write our own poems and are an excellent stimulus for self-expression.  An example of the prompts she provides includes the following prompt:

Paying attention – the challenge to be in the present moment, noticing the world around us and within us.  We can view the world (and our writing) through our senses – sight, sound, smell, touch and taste.  Consciously noticing our outer world can lead to cognisance of our inner world – our thoughts, our feelings, our sense of wonder and awe.  Rosemerry claims that writing poems mindfully can “build a bridge between these two worlds” – our outer and inner reality.

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, meditation teacher and practitioner, paying attention is central to mindfulness and enables openness, curiosity and self-awareness (particularly of our negative self-talk).  Rosemerry suggests that an easy way to start to pay attention and write is to create a list, e.g. of “what could be”, “what I sense in the moment” or “what I find interesting about the world”.  She maintains that by “naming things outside the body” we are led to a “revelation inside the body”. 

Reflection

I have found that writing a reflective poem has helped me to manage my frustration and pain associated with chronic illnesses.   Writing poetry enables me to take a different perspective, explore the consequences of my own actions and often acts as a “bridge to action” when I am faced with inertia.

Writing poems has been particularly helpful for me to stay grounded during a recent family crisis where violence and injury, destruction and dissolution, were very real.  Mindfulness heightened by poetry writing enabled me to reflect on what was occurring, explore alternatives and be conscious of my whole-body stress.

As we grow in mindfulness by poetry writing, we can tap into the power of being present, enhance our creativity and build our resilience in the face of “the tough stuff”.  We can also develop self-care strategies that enable us to withstand the ever-occurring forces of overwhelm.

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Image by Janusz Walczak from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Managing Adversity with Mindfulness

Mary Fowler recently published a memoir, Bloom: Creating a life I love, that covers the period from her teens to early adulthood. Mary is considered one of the brightest female talents in soccer in Australia.  In 2018, when under 16 years of age, she was the fifth youngest soccer player to represent Australia.  Since then she has gone on to represent Australia in soccer on 64 occasions, scoring 16 goals.

The highs

Mary had been selected to represent Australia at the 2019 FIFA Women’s World Cup but owing to a hamstring injury was unable to play.  She had always dreamed of being an Olympian and, although a gifted long-distance runner, chose soccer as her sport to excel in.  The highpoint of her soccer career, in her own words, was being chosen in the Australian team for the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo.  She scored a goal in extra time in Australia’s quarter final win over Great Britain.

Mary was elated to be chosen in the Matilda’s team for the home-based 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup.  With the loss of team captain, Sam Kerr, through injury, Mary’s role in the team increased significantly.  She scored her first World Cup goal against Canada and was instrumental in the win over Denmark in the Round of 16 game.

In her memoir, Mary recounts the lead-up and successful execution of a penalty goal in the penalty shoot-out against France in the quarter final.  She expressed appreciation for her coach’s extensive pre-game practice of taking penalties in a shoot-out, including the line-up at halfway, the slow progression to the penalty spot and the elation on scoring against the goalie.  After her World Cup performance, Mary was chosen to represent Australia at the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris.

The Lows

Throughout her soccer career and much of her early life, Mary was plagued by negative self-thoughts – questioning whether she was good enough, looked good enough or was a good person.  Her low self-esteem was frequently aggravated by social media messaging that reinforced her negative self-image.  With the sudden advent of fame, Mary’s social media following expanded dramatically and so did the “haters” and belittlers (which only fed her negative view of herself).  Wisely, a close friend advised her to stop responding to the online “haters” and spend her efforts commenting on messages from supporters who sought to acknowledge her skills and achievements and wanted her to do well.

In her memoir, Mary describes her period at Montpellier Football Club as her lowest point.  She joined the club on her 17th birthday and spent three years with the club (2020-2022).  In her early period there she spent a lot of time on the bench.  She was very conscious that being the youngest player in the team, she lacked the experience of the other players.  However, she felt acutely the status differential between the “starters” and the “benched” players – the latter sometimes being totally ignored by the coach.

Mary found that as the team suffered a series of losses, conflict within the team grew. She was challenged for the amount of time she spent in the gym, as if she was contributing to their losses by trying to improve her fitness and overall stamina.  She also felt keenly the divide within the team between the French players and the “internationals”, the later considered of a lower value. 

Mary’s mixed race (Irish and Papua New Guinean) had always been a source of low self-esteem and differentiation by others.  These feelings of inferiority were compounded when she finished up at Montpellier.  Players leaving the team were given flowers at the end of the of their tenure whereas Mary and her close friend (two of only six black players in the team) were given bananas.  She didn’t know whether this was an intentional slight or just a consequence of an accidental series of events. 

Mary, who valued her creativity in playing soccer, had offered suggestions on ways to improve the team’s play but had been told by the Montpellier coach to “do what you are told”.  This frustration of her creativity was another source of dissatisfaction for her.  However, her experience was the opposite when she played with the Australian team as coach Tony Gustavsson encouraged her to be adventurous.  Mary found, too, that the move from “striker” to “wing” reduced the pressure on her to score but enabled her to provide plenty of “goal-assists” and become a real team player.

Mary reached an absolute low point during her time with the Montpellier soccer team.  She describes cutting herself and engaging in other forms of self-harm, ultimately leading to thoughts of suicide.  She also lost her love of the game and thought seriously about giving up the sport (to the point of planning her “retirement”).  What helped Mary recover was the very strong support of close friends and family, together with therapy.  In her memoir, Mary strongly encourages people who are not coping to reach out for help and therapy if needed.  She argues that, like her, people who are stressed have to get past feelings of vulnerability and be willing to share their feelings and concerns with others.  Mary learnt that being vulnerable with friends actually deepened her relationships.

As Mary’s fame grew, so too did the pressures on her.  She could not go out to do shopping without people recognising her and seeking “selfies” and autographs.  She had to deal with increased performance expectations from her friends, fans, team mates and coaches. Negative social media commentary intensified.  An additional pressure was the invasion of privacy, particularly in relation to her emerging relationship with Nathan Cleary (who was famous in his own right).

Managing adversity with mindfulness

Mary turned to a series of mindfulness practices to help her restore calm and balance to her life and provide her with the mental clarity and stamina to manage the stresses in her life.

Mary found the strength to go on and pursue what proved to be a stunning international career, as well as eventual success with the Manchester City English Premier League team (2022 till now).  She drew on a range of mindfulness practices to help her manage the downside of her career as an elite athlete and to achieve her potential:

  • Journalling – Mary had been journalling since she was a child but found new commitment and energy for journalling as she progressed in her career and had to deal with the pressures of international fame.   Journalling enabled her to deal with the unpredictable and daily challenges.  She also found that journalling helped her to get in touch with her feelings, which she tended to hide from others and herself.  It provided her with a different perspective on issues and served to challenge her negative thinking about herself.
  • Positive Affirmations – Mary had to deal with constant negative self-talk that told her she was “not good enough” in many ways.  She turned to daily recitation of affirmations to reinforce what was good in her life and was good and positive about herself.  Danette May argues that affirmations can replace unconscious negative thoughts with reinforcement of what is good in ourselves.  This change in focus (from negative to positive thinking) can alter our mindset and reality.
  • Drawing nurture from nature – spending time in nature played a major role in Mary’s life and, in her memoir, she acknowledges the role of nature in providing her with calm, new insights, energy and a source of awe and wonder.  While in Montpellier she undertook daily mountain walks with her brother to absorb the peace and tranquility of nature.  In her memoir chapter on “Stop & smell the flowers” (Chapter 8), Mary explains how she began an intentional practice of stopping to admire a flower, closely observing its colours and textures, and smelling its aroma.  This became a habituated practice and extended to stopping to observe any animals along her path (such as birds and possums).  She experienced excitement and a warm glow from these animal encounters.   Mary often spoke of the Moon as a personal source of stability, energy and positive self-affirmation.   Mary’s discussion of her encounters with nature and her slow, observant walking resonates with a mindful walking approach to developing mindfulness.
  • Reframing goals – Mary was an obsessive goal-setter.  She had goals for when she would get pregnant, get married, own her own home and many other things in her life and career.  Her goals had set times for achievement.  While this aided her outcome focus, it eventually created undue stress through self-created time-pressures and left no room for the vicissitudes of life (such as sporting injuries) that can prevent or delay goal achievement.  In a discussion with her “bestie” at the time, Mary decided that she would set “targets” instead of “goals”, removing the constraining effect of detailed timelines.
  • Expressing gratitude – Mary discovered the power of gratitude to offset negative feelings. Like Kim Armstrong, she found that daily gratitude practice builds resilience, overcomes resentment and envy, and develops a positive mindset.  In the final analysis, expressing gratitude helps us “to get in touch with ourselves”.  Mary found that routinely expressing gratitude helped her manage the downside of her soccer injuries – times on the sidelines from concussion, an ACL injury and hamstring injury.
  • Present moment awareness – Mary consciously sought to be in the “present moment” whether playing competitive soccer or being with friends and family.  She was strongly influenced by a book, The Power of Now, written by meditation teacher, Eckhart Tolle.  She routinely practised meditation to develop this present moment awareness.  Mary found that through this mindfulness practice, she began to savour the small things in her life.
  • Mindset change –  Mary had publicly stated that she wanted to be the “best in the world” as an international soccer player.  After a period of reflection on how self-limiting this goal can be (she pursued it at the expense of her relationships with friends and the opportunities for fun and new adventures), she changed her target to “be the best that I can be”. This change in mindset freed her from obsessive practice, a sole focus on soccer and a tendency to envy the success of others.  Instead, she developed better as a team player, savouring the success of others.

Reflection

Mary Fowler experienced some great highs and some serious lows.  Her negative self-talk contributed to many of her lows.  However, by turning to mindfulness practices she discovered that as she grew in mindfulness she developed resilience, changed her mindset, increased her happiness, savoured the small things in life, developed a positive self-image and increased her capacity to deal with the stressors in her life.

In her memoir; Mary states that she has now achieved a high level of happiness; increased her tools for managing challenges; and developed sound, close friendships that support her daily.  By using a range of mindfulness practices, she has developed a toolkit to address mental health issues as they arise and to draw on the positive energy that surrounds her.

Throughout her memoir, Mary provides several reflection questions that are relevant to the discussion in each chapter.  She offers reflection questions such as:

These questions can provide a rich source of reflection and insights and can serve as journalling prompts.   The discussion that precedes these reflective questions provides a basis for challenging our own mindset and identifying ways to enhance our own life and happiness.

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Image by Lori Dunn from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Happiness and Fulfillment in Retirement

In the previous post I explored aging and retirement planning.  In that post I drew on the work of Bec Wilson, creator of the Epic Retirement Flagship Course and the author of the book, How to have an Epic Retirement.  In the current post, I want to focus on Bec’s discussion of happiness and fulfillment in retirement while drawing on the writings on the topic by other authors.  At the outset, Bec debunks the image of a retired person who is spending their days in a lazy chair on the beach while drinking wine – research highlights the fact that this portrayal is a recipe for boredom and a shortened life span.

Ways to achieve happiness and fulfillment in retirement

Bec offers a series of suggestions for how we might go about achieving these retirement goals:

Examining your personal stories for sources of happiness and fulfillment

In her Epic Retirement Workbook (that accompanies the Course), Bec offers a way to examine our personal stories including recording our key experiences and challenges, triumphs and passions.  She also offers some probing questions to identify themes in our responses such as resilience, creativity, and sources of happiness.  This approach to recording personal stories is consistent with the research supporting the use of storytelling to manage life transitions.  Such storytelling is often described as narrative therapy – an emerging area for university-level study.

Identifying your purpose and source of happiness by exploring your curiosity

Bec’s Workbook has a series of questions designed to elicit your level of curiosity about your future options, friendships, challenging pursuits, and what you might do with your time in retirement.  She maintains that without a degree of curiosity in your retirement years, “you might find yourself isolated, bored and even becoming stale”.    Frank Ostaseski, author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully, encourages us to cultivate openness and curiosity to achieve intimacy with ourselves, live life fully, develop self-forgiveness and “a deep sense of belonging”.

Creating meaning in your life as a retiree

Bec discusses various ways to create meaning because research confirms that a meaningful life can lead to happiness and a sense of fulfillment.  She encourages retirees to volunteer to contribute to a cause beyond ourselves and lists multiple arenas in which to volunteer, including volunteering for charity shops, aged care residents and sporting clubs.  A psychologically-rich life can generate a meaningful life and a sense of fulfillment. Pursuits such as the following can create meaning in our retirement years:

  • Collaborating with others in learning
  • Exploring part-time work options
  • Pursuing new sporting challenges and social relationships
  • Expressing gratitude and kindness which are contagious and cultivate health and happiness in others and ourselves.
Identifying your skills and strengths to develop your sense of purpose

Bec suggests that developing a happy and fulfilling life as a retiree depends largely on having a sense of purpose.  She draws on the work of Richard Leider and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to maintain that developing a sense of purpose involves employing your skills and strengths in areas that you are passionate about, are congruent with your values and contribute to something beyond yourself (such as a charity or other  organisation pursuing social goals).  In her Workbook, Bec offers a columnar chart to assist us to identify the relationships amongst our skills, passions, values and purpose.

Exploring your courage

Bec points out that it takes courage to move beyond our comfort zone, to pursue “endings” to the way we do things and to try new things that are challenging.  She encourages us to tell ourselves the truth about our life, our happiness and sense of fulfillment; to make difficult decisions that will present challenges to our self-concept and our comfort zone; to make mistakes as we try out new things; to dream big; and to say ‘no” or “yes” when it is appropriate for self-preservation or to achieve our potential.

Engaging in epic pursuits

Bec draws on research to show that to achieve an “engaged, curious and happy life” as a retiree we need to adopt three or more pursuits  that we enjoy and that ideally engage us physically, cognitively and socially.  To this end, she lists (on pages 280-281 of her 2025 Book) epic pursuits that “active and engaged retirees” have adopted to pursue their passions.  This can serve as a  stimulus and checklist to help us to identify epic pursuits that might interest us.  Home swapping can also bring excitement and a change of location (either domestically or overseas).

Exploring different types of work that may be compatible with semi-retirement

Bec suggests that this work could provide supplementary income and draw on existing knowledge and skills (such as lecturing, tutoring, consulting or training) or , alternatively, provide the opportunity to learn new skills (such as starting a small business built on a hobby or a special interest area).   Her other suggestions include roles such as driving for rideshare services such as Uber, baby-sitting, pet-sitting, carer/helper, or landlord.  The opportunities are numerous and include having a hobby farm, house-sitting, or developing bed and breakfast accommodation. 

Developing a new daily routine

It is important that this is developed over time as you become more accustomed to life beyond full-time work or being a home-parent.  Research in this area suggests that a daily routine enhances longevity and meaningful living.  A retirement routine is very individual and takes some planning and acknowledgement of your own “circadian rhythms”.  Bec offers suggestions for rebuilding our morning routine and creating purposeful evenings.  Penny Pennington Weeks shares her comprehensive retirement routine to encourage us to plan our own “to enjoy a retired life”.

Practising mindfulness for a happy and fulfilling retirement

Throughout her Epic Retirement Book and Course, Bec strongly encourages cultivating  openness, curiosity and reflection – key components of mindfulness practices.  Research and personal experience confirm the multiple benefits of mindfulness that accrue from regular mindfulness practices such as Tai Chi, mindful eating, and engaging with nature.  Mindfulness practice has been shown to enhance happiness, improve health, strengthen our sense of self-efficacy and enable fulfillment by helping us to realise our potential.

Reflection

I identify as a Morning Person, so in retirement I tend to do creative pursuits such as writing in the mornings and the more routine activities in the afternoons or evenings.  As we grow in mindfulness, we can increase our self-awareness, self-compassion, and perception of options.  We can also reduce negativity and self-limiting beliefs to enable us to achieve happiness and fulfillment in retirement.

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Image by Ahmet Yüksek from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Finding Stability and Predictability in Times of Uncertainty

In the previous blog post, I discussed a UCLA talk by Bhanu Joy Harrison on the topic of Unpredictability and Adapting.  Bahnu emphasised our constant mind-body search for stability and predictability despite continuously encountering uncertainty in our personal lives as well as the world at large. She maintained that we are constantly seeking “an island of coherence in a sea of chaos”. 

The reference to “islands of coherence” is based on the work of Nobel prize winning chemist, Ilya Prigogine, who stated that when systems move away from equilibrium and create chaos, “small islands of coherence” can “shift the entire system to a higher order”.  When applied to our inner world, this concept relates to our capacity through interconnectedness to develop stability and predictability that, in turn, provides us with “strength, calm and groundedness”.

Bhanu maintained in her UCLA podcast that mindfulness practices are a way for us to create our own “islands of coherence”.   On the InsightTimer website, she offers a range of guided meditations on topics such as slowing down, getting unstuck and managing anxiety.  During her podcast, she also  provided a guided meditation on supporting ourselves by creating “islands of coherence”.

Guided meditation – providing support and groundedness

Throughout the guided meditation, Bhanu encouraged us to trust our support. As a starting point, this trusting involved letting our chair support us by enabling our weight to sink into the chair. While being conscious of this support, we can let our mind focus on the power of gravity to hold our posture in place (not allowing us to fly into the air but to stay grounded on the earth).  We can sense the “grounding effect of gravity” on our body.

While being conscious of this groundedness, we can notice what is happening in our body – a slowing of our breathing, loosening of our muscles and bodily tension.  The aim is to drop from our brain into our bodies like dropping an anchor “into the bottom of a lake”.

If we want to contain ourselves bodily we can give ourselves a hug – placing our left hand on our right shoulder and then reversing the process.  Alternatively, we can “feel the solid edges of our body” by squeezing along the length of our arms.  I often found that joining the fingers of both hands together can have this grounding effect as I feel the sensations pulsing through them.

Bhanu reminded us  that “our body holds so much”, including the visceral imprint of trauma.  She suggested that one way to calm the body and mind is to hold our head with two hands – one holding the base of the skull while the other holds the forehead.   Again, she encouraged us to notice any change in bodily sensations, our emotions and our mental activity. 

Bhanu then suggested that we focus on our legs because our legs help us to carry a lot of weight embedded in our torso from the “intensity of life”.  Our body, especially our torso, is activated by stress and being aware of this activation through our legs can “help spread out that activation”.  In particular, exercises such as pressing our feet into the ground (together or alternating) and squeezing down our legs with our hands, can serve to reduce the activation in our torso by spreading the load.  Squeezing down our arms can have a similar positive effect.

Working with the predictable – breathing

Bhanu suggests that when we are overwhelmed by the unpredictable, in whatever form it takes, we can focus on the “predictable” things in our life.  A key element of this strategy is to focus on our breath because “our body knows how to breathe”, no matter what is going on in our life.  Mindful breathing is an important aspect of mindfulness practice and there are many ways to achieve this re-focusing.  James Nestor, for example, promotes intentional breathing as a path to improved health and longevity.

We can breathe with the earth, engage in lower-belly breathing, or rest in our breathing.  Richard Wolf argues that we can develop deep listening through focusing on our breathing which he calls “the sound of your life”.  He maintains that we can listen to our breath just like a musician listens to music.  He provides a number of ways of doing this including listening to the sound of our breath (the inhalation and exhalation), resting in the silence between breaths and breathing in time.

Mast Cell 360 offers breathing as one of the strategies to de-activate the body’s over-active nervous response to perceived “invaders” (food allergies and, in particular, high histamine foods).  For example, in the masterclass, Mast Cell Nervous System Reboot, the course creator, Beth O’Hara provides examples of  “alternate nostril breathing” as one of the strategies she employed to redress the histamine activation effects of Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS).  “Resonance breathing” also forms part of her holistic approach to MCAS and histamine intolerance.

Working with the predictable – alternative strategies

In addition to breathing practices, Bhanu offers other strategies that we can easily employ on a day-to-day basis to focus on the predictable and work to de-activate our bodies from the stress effects of the “unpredictable”.  These practices include:

  • focusing on the seasons of the year which are predicable, especially winter and summer whose arrival is often celebrated with special rituals
  • consciously viewing the sunrise and sunset occurring each day
  • observing the emergence of flowers in Spring, the fall of leaves in Autumn (Fall), the shortening of the day in winter and their lengthening in summer
  • noticing the sun rising early in summer and later in winter
  • thinking about the way you are greeted by your children and your dog when you return from work each day
  • observing the millions of stars that appear each night.

Bhanu suggests that these grounding practices can help us to find peace and calm in times of turmoil – they can become our “island of coherence” in the advent of chaos.

Reflection

Chronic illness is often unpredictable and can prove to be complex and difficult to resolve.  The uncertainty about its development and resolution and the lack of help from the medical profession can exacerbate the situation.  Chronic illness too is disruptive, impacting quality of life and self-identity.

The mindfulness practices proposed by Bhanu can help to manage chronic illness.  As we grow in mindfulness, we can better regulate our emotions, draw inspiration from people who have mastered their debilitating situation, and find creative ways to address our own limitations and constraints.

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Image by Kanenori from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Adapting to Unpredictability

Bhanu Joy Harrison provided a meditation podcast  on Unpredictability and Adapting in September this year.  Her session was one of the weekly meditations and talks offered by UCLA Health.  Bhanu is an accredited meditation teacher and clinical social worker specialising in the resolution of trauma.  She integrates neuroscience with mindfulness practices to enable people to achieve greater joy, balance and resilience.  Bhanu provides classes, workshops and resources to assist people to manage the daily challengers of unpredictability.  Her website provides a series of guided meditations and she offers access to an app that serves as a journalling guide. 

Impact of unpredictability

Drawing on neuroscience, Bhanu maintains that our brain and nervous system is forever seeking stability and predictability as this provides us with an abiding sense of control and safety.  In our daily life, however, we have to deal with the unpredictability of our own health, our workplaces and interactions, our shopping and entertainment environments and our social and family encounters.  The unpredictability and challenge to our stability of these daily events can lead to stress, overwhelm and inability to cope.

In her talk, Bhanu pointed out how much we rely on past experience to predict what will happen in the future as a result of current events.  We look for reliability and steadiness in our life.  She contends that our past experience provides us with some form of scaffolding or framework that influences our perceptions and our predictions.  

Mindfulness as a toolbox for managing unpredictability

Bhanu contends that mindfulness practices progressively build our personal resources and provide us with a toolbox to draw on to manage unpredictable situations.  In contrast, mindless absorption of news and replaying of adverse events serves only to destabilise us and reactivate our stress response.

Bhanu argues that we often look to the past to seek out ways to achieve steadiness, comfort or groundedness.  Unfortunately, our past solutions typically involve short-term solutions which prove to be maladaptive in the medium to long term – solutions such as overeating, drinking excessive alcohol to numb the pain or discomfort, “seeking illicit pleasure”, increasing caffeine consumption or scrolling endlessly through social media to distract us from the challenge of the present moment.  

Drawing on her extensive experience with clients and the increasing body of research on mindfulness, Bhanu asserts that mindfulness practices undertaken with clear intention and self-kindness effectively create “a different input” for our nervous system than that created by our maladaptive solutions.  In her words, mindfulness is capable of enabling us to “generate a different kind of sensory, emotional and mental response” to unpredictability and the related stimuli such as fear, anxiety and sense of loss of control.

Bhanu argues for creating an “ever-growing toolbox of ever-adaptive and helpful skills” through mindfulness practices. She encourages us to develop a “big variety of options” so that we can resource ourself effectively when we encounter the  diverse challenges associated with unpredictability. Her suggestions for mindfulness practices include:

Bhanu argues that by developing a mindfulness toolbox, we are resourcing ourself for times when we are overwhelmed by the unpredictable such as a chronic illness diagnosis or the death of a loved one.  She provides the example of one of her clients who experienced a “tsunami of grief” to illustrate this point.  As Bhanu explains, when we experience grief our rational, analytical brain is hijacked by the amygdala and our lower brain. This shuts down our capacity to engage in logical thinking and solution generation.  We then need “an escape hatch out of lower brain structures” (limbic system and brainstem). 

Bhanu’s client developed an “escape hatch” in the form of a Mason jar where she stored pieces of paper recording “things that I can do in the moment” – simple things such as drink water, pat an animal, call a friend or relative or breathe deeply and slowly.  On the jar she placed a picture of a life-jacket to remind herself “to put her life-jacket on” by accessing her jar and the suggestions within that could help her “settle herself, come back to the present moment and ground herself”.

The jar proved to be a ready resource that was both physical and accessible and provided a choice of pathways back to mindfulness and groundedness.  It meant that she did not have to think in the moment about what resources she had available to her to access the stability and control provided by mindfulness.

Awareness of our “Circle of Influence”

Bhanu suggests that we think about our Circle of Influence – identifying the things that we can control and those that are outside our control. This then involves letting go of what we can’t control.

By way of example, Bhanu suggested that the things you can’t control include:

  • the weather
  • events beyond our country
  • the emotions or opinions of other people
  • traffic flow
  • natural disasters.

Unfortunately, we can spend a lot of time going over events beyond our control through obsession with the news, over-concern with other people’s views of us, and anxiety about potential natural disasters.

Bhanu indicated that one thing we do have control over is our choices.  For example, we can choose to be continually disrupted by “external noise” or we can spend time with relaxing music, enjoying nature or just being quiet.  We can choose to avoid foods that create a “flare-up” for us or indulge at our own expense. We can also choose how we respond to stimuli – recognising that there is a gap between stimulus and response.

We can choose to listen to our internal critic telling us that “we are not good enough” or “consciously shift to something else” that is positive and helpful.  Our choices extend to controlling our words and tone of voice – we can reaffirm that “I can control what comes out of my mouth”.  Our boundaries are also under our control if we choose –  for example, deciding when to say “yes” or “no”.  We can develop a mindset consistent with an “internal locus of control”– where we are not totally controlled by external events but believe that we have some influence on our environment, are willing to take responsibility for our actions and respond proactively to unpredictable events in our life such as chronic illness.

Reflection

In seeking to manage the unpredictable in our life we can learn from people like Jean-Dominique Bauby.  Despite suffering a massive stroke that left him unable to talk or move, he was able to create his memoir by blinking one eye to let his specialist nurse know word by word what he wanted to say.  His other strategies for gaining stability and control included humour and virtual travel.

As we grow in mindfulness through a range of mindfulness practices, we can enhance our personal resources and develop a readymade toolbox to achieve stability and control in times of unpredictability such as chronic illness or the death of a loved one.

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Image by Martine Auvray from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Finding Inspiration When Living with Chronic Illness

I have previously written about the inspiration provided by Joni Mitchell and her remarkable life as a singer/songwriter despite experiencing multiple chronic illnesses.  Joni’s song Both Sides Now epitomizes her approach to chronic illness  – accepting both the dark and the light in her life.  Like many inspiring people she made the most of the light (the good things) in her life.  Joni was rewarded with multiple Grammy Awards and induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

During the recent online Creative Meetup (for writers-with-chronic-illness), our facilitator, Jennifer Crystal introduced a book by Jean-Dominique Bauby, titled The Diving-Bell & the Butterfly. This book is incredibly inspiring as it shows Jean-Dominique’s ability to make the most of what was a totally debilitating situation.  His book composed under extremely difficult conditions is replete with humour and a commitment to make the most of his devastating chronic illness.

At the time of experiencing his illness he was Editor-in-Chief of the famous Elle France – Elle being the “the  world’s largest fashion and lifestyle magazine”.   While in his early forties, when he was married with two children, he suffered a massive stroke, resulting in a condition known as “locked-in syndrome (LiS)” –  “total paralysis but still have consciousness and their normal cognitive functions”.  All he could do physically was turn his head and wink with his left eye.  Though he frequently experienced pain, he could not breathe, eat or swallow without assistance.

Jean-Dominque described his bodily condition as being “imprisoned in an invisible diving-bell”, while his mind was free to roam “like a butterfly”.  He used his very limited capabilities to revisit his memories and undertake virtual exploration of the world at large.  Though he often described his body as a “cocoon”,  he was not mentally constrained by its disabling limitations.

He used his imagination., for example, to picture his colleagues from 28 countries, striding behind their CEO on route to a major fashion conference where they would be discussing the metaphysical question “What is the ideal Elle woman?”.  Even though he had never been to Hong Kong, the site of the conference, he was able to picture the demeanour of his international colleagues and imagine the location and proceedings.

The Diving-Bell serves as a memoir of Jean-Dominique’s time in a Navy hospital after suffering his stroke.  It captures his shock and disorientation on waking from a 20-day coma to find that he was totally paralysed and unable to talk.  He shares intimate details of his hospital experience and his mental roaming with his uniquely dry humour.   

Communicating with locked-in syndrome

In his memoir, Jean-Dominique explains how he was able to communicate by virtue of his “Guardian Angel”, a speech therapist, who devised an alphabet with the letters of the alphabet arranged in order of the frequency of their use in the French language.  People, medical staff and visitors, could point to the letters in turn and he would wink to indicate that they had chosen the letter he was trying to convey.  This tiresome and slow process enabled him to express his discomfort, needs and wishes.  

The constructed alphabet was the method of communication that he used to dictate his book to Claude Mendibil who was transcribing his communications for publishing. Jean-Dominque stated that he frequently revised letter and words in his head and would memorise paragraphs to communicate them to Claude via this special alphabet.

In true humorous style, Jean-Dominique described his visitors in terms of their ability to utilize the newly devised alphabet to understand his communications.  There were the taciturn people, nervous and reluctant to get a letter or word wrong;  the impulsive who rushed in and anticipated what he was going to communicate (usually getting it wrong) and who saved him the effort of communicating by asking questions and answering them themselves; and the meticulous people who feared they would make a mistake and took things so incredibly slowly that it made an already tedious process more painful and demanding. 

Experience of medical professionals in the hospital

Jean-Dominique’s sense of being “locked in” was further aggravated by the callous treatment he received at the hands of some medical staff.  For example, an ophthalmologist arrived at his bedside unannounced and proceeded to sow together the eyelids of his right eye because the eyelids did not close in that eye – thus exposing his eye to infection  (as he subsequently learned from someone else).

Jean-Dominique described the ophthalmologist as brusque and arrogant with “a couldn’t care less attitude”.  He wondered (in his mind) whether such an uncaring medical professional was retained by the hospital to serve as a target for patients’ dislike of, or  dissatisfaction with, their overall hospital treatment. He himself frequently felt anger but kept it at a manageable level , ”like a pressure cooker”, to prevent uncontrolled release of this emotion.

There were also two orderlies who “unceremoniously dumped” him in a wheelchair (like a piece of dead meat).  Jean-Dominque’s way of managing his own maltreatment at the hands of some medical staff was to silently assign them descriptive names such as “the exterminator”.  He did, however, appreciate the care and concern offered by other medical staff.

Dealing with false rumours

Jean-Dominique not only had to deal with his locked-in syndrome but also with harmful rumours that circulated in Paris about his health condition.  As false rumours began to circulate, he decided to provide Bulletins to his circle of friends and associates (initially 60 people) to report on his life, his progress and his hopes.  He indicated that the first bulletin “repaired some of the damage caused by rumour”.  He heard that the City had “put him down for the count” or, at the very least, that he was in a “vegetable state”.  He was particularly critical of patrons of Café de Flore, “one of those base camps of Parisian snobbery that sent up rumours like flights of carrier pigeons”.  His friends overheard a conversation in the Café where he was being described as a “complete vegetable”.

His correspondence provided “gratifying results” in the form of return letters and the realisation of people that they could ”join him in his cocoon” through writing to him.  This resulted in a daily ritual whereby letters were opened for him and “spread out before his eyes”.  This proved to be a revelatory process about the character and personality of his contacts. 

Reflection

Jean-Dominique demonstrated that although you may be bedridden or severely handicapped, you can travel, at least virtually, by using your memory or intentional imagination. This mental roaming has been facilitated recently by the free release of drone images of multiple countries and scenic sites. I also have a gift from one of my daughters – a digital photo album that can serve to stimulate my memory of places I have visited including Paris, London, Bath, Rome, Lake Como, Turin, Venice and Cartagena.

In out Creative Meetup, after we were introduced to The Diving-Bell & the Butterfly, we were given two prompts for our reflection and writing:

  1. Even if bed-ridden (or compromised in any way),where do you travel in your mind?
  2. How has illness impacted your ability to travel?  You can write about a specific travel experience from the past or one you hope to have in the future.

As I reflected on these questions I became acutely aware that my present chronic health conditions severely restrict my capacity to fly long distances.   In particular, my multilevel spinal degeneration makes lying or sitting in one place for any length of time very difficult, sometimes resulting in sciatica, a condition I experienced previously following a trip from Milan to Hong Kong.  This realisation saddened me, but I resolved to take on board Jean-Dominque’s inspiring journey and undertake virtual travel journeys, aided by visual technology.

Mindfulness practices can help us to regulate our emotions, appreciate what we do have and can do and be more aware of nature and its capacity to inspire wonder and awe.  As we grow in mindfulness, we can find creative solutions to our limitations and constraints.

I composed the following poem when reflecting on our discussion and writing:

Finding Inspiration

There is inspiration everywhere,
if we seek to become aware.

Portability through podcasts,
audibility through audiobooks.

People creatively managing multiple challenges,
resolving restrictions and incredible constraints.

Driven by passion and purpose,
to rethink, reframe and redefine.

Sharing without stint,
shaping their environment.

Their agency hard-earned,
Look, listen and learn.

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Image by Pierre Blaché from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

                          

Proactive Acceptance and Personal Research of Chronic Illness

I was very recently diagnosed with osteoporosis – an addition to my multiple chronic illnesses.  This diagnosis comes on top of existing chronic medical conditions including multilevel degenerative disc disease, exercise asthma, skin cancers, arthritis in my middle finger and MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome) with Histamine Intolerance (leading to multiple allergies/food sensitivities).  The existence of multiple chronic diseases prompted my medical practitioner to develop a Medicare-supplemented Chronic Disease Management Plan.

What I have learned from trying to manage my other chronic health conditions is that the way forward begins with acceptance of what is.  This is not a passive position but a proactive one entailing:

  • acknowledging the limitations imposed by your chronic illness
  • exploring the boundaries of the limitations (not accepting imagined restrictions or ones suggested by  a medical professional based on a limited perspective on your illness)
  • seeking expert and social support, e.g. the International Osteoporosis Foundation
  • redefining personal identity where that seems advisable
  • expressing gratitude for what you do have and can do
  • undertaking recommended testing
  • educating yourself about your medical condition – it’s precursors, progression and prognosis
  • researching healing modalities.

Why do personal research?

The reality is that medical practitioners, no matter how dedicated they are to your healing, are limited by time, training and discipline approach.   Very few are able to adopt a holistic perspective.  Given that chronic illness is typically complex, having a multisystem impact compounded by interdependency and interaction, a holistic perspective is often necessary to establish effective healing modalities.

Often medical practitioners, who are frequently time-poor because of the patient demand of their practice, adopt a symptomatic approach that just touches the surface of an illness and does not address the root causes.

I have experienced these limitations of medical practitioners and found that I had to supplement their perspective and approach with my own research and be an advocate for my own health improvement.  This personal research does not supplant the advice of a medical practitioner but supplements it, enabling you to ask, “What if…?”

My personal research in relation to osteoporosis

Following the personal research principle, I began to question why I was experiencing  osteoporosis when I had been exceeding the recommended intake of calcium for many years, mainly through Ostelin (Calcium and Vitamin D) and almond milk.  The question then arose as to how well my body was absorbing the calcium. 

In following this line of questioning, I learnt the following:

  • MCAS negatively impacts bone strength.  Dr. Lawrence B. Afrin (2013), international expert in MCAS, reports on research that shows that “premature osteopenia/osteoporosis is frequently found in mast cell disease patients”.  More recent research by David Harris (2024) shows that MCAS has a “direct role in bone metabolism” through the chemicals, such as histamine, released in the inflammatory response of MCAS.  He states that “this overactivation can lead to an imbalance in bone remodeling, favoring bone loss and increasing the risk of osteoporosis”.  So the focus on repair should include reducing histamine release through food control and anti-histamine medication/supplements.
  • My medical practitioner has given me a referral to an exercise physiologist to develop a weights exercise program which research shows helps to develop bone density and strength.  However, while this is important to undertake, it still addresses the symptom (loss of bone density), not the cause (potentially MCAS acting negatively on bone density).  To their credit, my medical practitioner had organised a bone density scan to identify the root cause of my degenerative disc disease and loss of height.  The scan established the existence of osteoporosis.
  • Exercise is an important part of the healing process for osteoporosis.  So my transition from playing tennis to playing pickleball, necessitated by arthritis of the middle finger on my right hand, is an important means to maintain an exercise regime and one that is less exacting but still providing weight-bearing activity essential for developing bone density and strength. There is also research that shows that people with osteoporosis should “avoid exercises with extreme spine curving forward, such as toe touches and sit-ups”.
  • I have previously written about the multiple benefits of Tai Chi and how it can improve your tennis game, as well as that of other racquet sports such as pickleball.  Tai Chi has been shown to improve bone health, being a gentle, weight bearing exercise.  This works in two major ways, (1) improving bone density and (2) improving balance and coordination (to prevent falls and related broken bones).  There are resources readily available to help people manage osteoporosis through Tai Chi such as Tai Chi for Osteoporosis (DVD by Dr. Paul Lam) and Tai Chi for Older People.

Further revelations from my personal research and experience

As I continued to research my chronic medical conditions, I discovered the following things that can impact my health:

Exercise anaphylaxis

Skin prick testing revealed that I have wheat allergy (among many other food sensitivities).  However, no medical practitioner mentioned to me that this could lead to what is known as “exercise anaphylaxis”.  Apparently, according to the Mayo Clinic, if you have a wheat allergy and you exercise “within a few hours after eating wheat” you can experience exercise-induced anaphylaxis. 

A holistic approach to MCAS incorporating nervous system regulation

Most practitioners who accept the existence of MCAS adopt a biomedical model which focuses solely on the body and the use of medications and supplements as the only healing modality.  Beth O’Hara, creator of Mast Cell 360, determined through her research and extensive work with patients that this approach adopted by most medical practitioners failed to address the nervous system, a key component of MCAS disease. Beth stated that righting the nervous system represented 50% of the necessary healing modality.  She was able to demonstrate through actual results that a healing modality for MCAS must include rewiring of three interrelated systems:

  • Parasympathetic re-balancing
  • Vagal nerve signalling
  • Limbic system re-regulation

To this end, Beth designed a masterclass titled Mast Cell Nervous System Reboot.  I have purchased this course and have been working my way through the science explaining the nature of MCAS and the underpinnings of Beth’s healing protocol. I am looking forward to undertaking the practices she incorporates in the course to calm the nervous system.   Her Mast Cell 360 website has multiple resources, including health coaches, for people experiencing MCAS and histamine intolerance.

Allergic arthritis

One of the things I discovered independently was the existence of allergic arthritis.  I had been wondering why the joint in my right middle finger was swollen whenever I experienced other allergic reactions.  Research has shown that allergies /food sensitivities, creating an inflammatory response, can aggravate existing arthritis and cause osteoarthritis in other parts of the body.

Low histamine foods – apples

Apples have been identified as a low histamine food.  I have found that I can readily tolerate Pink Lady apples without an allergic response.  However, I have also found that Red Delicious apples cause a serious reflux reaction, leading to a sensation of choking. 

High histamine foods – avocados

Avocados are identified as a high histamine food and can impact people who have a histamine intolerance.  However, research shows that avocados that are firm and not too ripe are lower in histamine than those that are soft and over-ripe.   This revelation was important for me as avocados have multiple health benefits and are a key part of my diet and are necessary to help me maintain my weight (which is a challenge given my restricted diet because of allergies/food sensitivities).


Reflection

The winter of my osteoporosis is yet to come as it is early days.  However proactive acceptance and personal research can enable me to maintain a summer perspective in relation to my chronic illnesses.  My research has highlighted things that I need to avoid, opened up new lines of inquiry, highlighted potential healing approaches and strengthened my ability to be an advocate for my own health with medical practitioners.

The more we grow in mindfulness through Tai Chi and other mindfulness practices such as mindful eating and mindful walking, the better we will be able to develop proactive acceptance, engage in personal research and find creative solutions to our chronic illness.

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This post is provided for information purposes only and is not intended to replace personal medical advice provided by a trained medical practitioner.  Please seek advice from a qualified professional before deciding on treatments for yourself or other members of your family.  This article reflects my personal patient experience – MCAS and related diseases affect each individual differently.  I frequently share my research findings with my medical practitioner and this informs my treatment.

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Image by Yana Vakulina from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Mindfulness Meditation for Full Catastrophe Living

In the movie Zorba the Greek, Alexis Zorba contends, “I’m a man, so I married. Wife, children, house, everything. The full catastrophe.”   Jon Kabat-Zinn draws on this analogy in writing his landmark book, Full Catastrophe Living, in which he contends that mindfulness meditation enables us to “make use of the full spectrum of our experiences, the good, the bad, and the ugly”.  He argues that mindfulness meditation helps us to deal with “what comes our way” as part of the human condition and to do so in ways that are both healing and deeply nourishing.

In his book, Jon draws heavily on the mind-body connection to show how we can use our inner wisdom “to cope with stress, pain and illness” and demonstrates how mindfulness meditation facilitates this interconnectedness.  He contends that through mindfulness practices, we can experience not only joy and satisfaction but also suffering in a positive way that enriches our life.

In his book, he explains the benefits of mindfulness meditation, drawing on scientific evidence and the researched benefits of the Stress Reduction Clinic which had been operating for 25 years at the time of his writing, with “over 16,000 medical patients completing its eight-week program”.  His aim in writing the book was to make the practice of mindfulness meditation and its benefits readily accessible to people in everyday living –  contending with the vicissitudes of life in an ever-increasingly, fast-paced world.  To this end he describes in detail a range of mindfulness practices that can be employed by anybody as part of their daily living.

The nature of Mindfulness Meditation

Jon makes the point that in the Stress Reduction Clinic the facilitators don’t do anything for the patients apart from giving them “permission to live their moments fully and completely”.  He states that mindfulness meditation is “non-doing”, by “being in the moment”.   Through this process of paying attention to their minds and bodies – becoming fully in touch with themselves – patients come to terms with “the full catastrophe that can make life more joyful and richer”.

In the final analysis, participants in mindfulness meditation achieve a new way of seeing their situation, a “way of awareness” that is characterised by wholeness instead of fragmentation.  The challenge for participants is to “stop doing” and to “start being”.  Given the “non-doing” nature of mindfulness meditation, it is self-defeating to set a specific goal for the practice such as lower blood pressure, heal a specific illness or overcome reactivity.  Such goal-oriented behaviours are the product of a doing-culture.

Mindfulness meditation draws its healing power in part from addressing our thought patterns.  Jon points out the research that highlights how our thought patterns, beliefs, emotions and attitudes can “harm or heal”.   Our thought patterns are pervasive, impacting every aspect of our life as they:

  • lie behind our motives and choices
  • determine how we perceive the world and ourself
  • shape our level of confidence in our ability to achieve things
  • underpin our beliefs about how the world works and “what our place in it is”.

Research shows that thought patterns can impact our health and contrasts the positive impact of optimism versus the negative impact of pessimism.  It also highlights the power of self-efficacy (belief in your ability to achieve/succeed) and its capacity to influence your ability to grow and develop.

Mindfulness Meditation practices     

In Full Catastrophe Living, Jon highlights a range of mindfulness meditation practices that we can engage in at any time during our day.  He makes the point that the deciding factor in how beneficial the practices are is not how perfectly you do them but the regularity with which you practise.  Here are some thoughts on the anchors for each of the practices he mentions:

  • Breath – is fundamental to our existence, without it we are not alive.  Jon describes breathing as “the unsuspected ally in the healing process”.   The basic process he advocates  involves getting in touch with our breathing, focusing on the rise and fall of our abdomen or chest or the sensation of air entering and leaving our nostrils.  The aim here is not to try to control our breath but to be aware of it happening and noticing its character – fast/slow, easy/laboured,  deep/shallow.  Resting in our breath can be healing and relaxing.   Beyond this basic process of being in touch with our breath as it happens there are various techniques available to us at anytime to consciously vary our breath.  We can breathe with intention or adopt one of the breathing exercises advocated by James Nestor such as  resonant breathing or box breathing.  Alternatively, we can adopt “rhythmic breathing”, advocated by Richard Wolf as a form of mindfulness meditation. 
  • Sounds – listening to sounds as you meditate, “hearing what is there to be heard, moment by moment”.  It does not involve “listening for sounds” nor judging the quality, duration or resonance of what we hear.  Jon maintains that we can treat the sounds as “pure sound”  and simultaneously be conscious of the space between – the silences that occur whether we are listening to music or sounds in nature.  He encourages us to breathe the sounds into our body and “letting them flow out again on the outbreath”.  Listening to sounds can occur in any meditation posture – sitting, standing, lying down or walking.
  • Sitting meditation – Jon advocates this form of meditation as a way to “nourish the domain of being”. as a counter to incessant moving and doing. He maintains that we can employ several objects of attention (anchors) in the process of a sitting meditation, including our breath, sounds, our whole body or our feelings and thoughts.  Jon suggests that you can start this form of meditation by first being grounded in your breath so that you are not easily carried away by the content of your thoughts or feelings.  In relation to your feelings, he recommends that you observe your moods and associated feelings and thoughts “as they come and go”.  When focusing on thoughts he reminds us that they are “impermanent”, coming and going often at speed.  He says the challenge is to identify the “me” thoughts and to be able to delineate thoughts associated with anger or resentment,  greed or clinging.  Jon maintains that this type of mindfulness meditation is taxing and should only be done for short periods. 
  • Walking meditation – involves consciously “attending to the experience of walking itself”.  This may involve recognising the marvellous coordination of the whole body required to be able to walk or acknowledging with gratitude that you are able to walk at all (while there are numerous people who are unable to do so).  It could involve focusing on the sensations in your legs or feet but not looking at your feet.  Jon indicated that in the Stress Reduction Clinic, people walk in circles or in a straight line to avoid goal-oriented walking – focusing on the act of walking not the destination.  He suggests that when you pay more attention to the process of walking, “you appreciate that it is an amazing balancing act”.  Barriers we can experience in undertaking a walking meditation can include loss of balance, strong emotions and invading thoughts.

Reflection

What Jon describes in the above mindfulness meditations can be undertaken anywhere, anytime.  They can become a part of a daily routine and/or a spontaneous mindfulness practice in the midst of doing other things.  The more frequently we undertake routine mindfulness practice, the more we can grow in mindfulness and become spontaneously mindful of our bodies and our surroundings.

In Ella Ward’s novel, The Cicada House, her main character, Caitlin, comments that the wind through the trees sounds like waves.  After reading that comment, I spontaneously paid attention to the strong winds blowing  from the Bay through the trees to our back deck. As I focused on the sound of the wind amongst the trees, I could sense the sound of waves rising and falling.

My reflection on Jon’s discussion of mindfulness meditation led to the following poem:

Mindful Walking

Walking with intent,
process not destination.

Grateful for the balance and coordination,
grateful that I can walk.

Focusing on the sensations of feet and legs,
feeling pressure on the soles.

Listening to sounds,
hearing the birds,
above and below, in front and behind, to the left and the right.

The world of “doing” falling behind,
overtaken by “being”.

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Image by 춘성 강 from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

To Care for Ourself is to Care for the World

Self-care is often considered to be narcissistic or self-indulgent in a fast-paced world where we have multiple responsibilities and ever-changing demands.  However, the reality is that in caring for ourself, protecting ourself from burnout, we are able to give time and energy from a place of abundance rather than from depletion.

In a previous post, I wrote about strategies suggested by various experts on how to manage ourselves in times of overwhelm.  The focus in that article was on the overwhelm resulting from external events and circumstances as well as from our own health situation such as chronic illness. 

In a talk given for UCLA Health, Diana Winston focused on the internal causes of “overwhelm”, namely, our own self-stories and patterns of thinking and doing.  Her talk, Taking Care of Myself I Take Care of the World, focused on what we can do to redress the frenzied state of our lives as we endlessly pursue multiple conflicting goals. Diana stressed the need to prevent personal overwhelm, exhaustion and burnout and offered strategies for addressing this modern-day challenge.

The internal messaging that drives us

We might be caught up in activism over climate change, addressing issues of domestic violence or working to help redress the growing levels of homelessness.  We might think that we must be doing something to help those in need and cannot rest until these needs are met. Diana cautions us that working in a frenzy is not going to enable us to make a “long-run, sustainable contribution”.  She argues that if we are operating from “depletion”, we cannot give to the world in a “real and meaningful way”.

Diana quoted Thomas Merton who talks about self-violence when people over-commit in the face of conflicting demands.  He argues that “frenzy” depletes our inner peace and “kills the root of wisdom that makes work fruitful”.   This raises the question as to why we work in a frenzy when such a state destroys both the rewards and productivity of our work. 

Diana suggests that sometimes this need to help everyone and “commit to too many people” comes from a sense of self-identity, needing to do something compassionate to feel validated.  It might also be that it makes us “feel okay” if we are doing something to help others, we feel useful and not “empty” or useless. Diana acknowledged that in an early period of trying to help everybody all the time, she was working from a sense of feeling “not enough”, her inner voice was critical of her output.

Meditation and reflection to reverse frenzy

Thomas Merton argues that “we are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being”.  Diana maintains that we can recapture our sense of being-in-the-world through meditation and deep reflection.  In the process we can unearth our negative patterns of thinking and gain clarity about the way forward for peace and productivity.

Diana argues for scheduling “a time of not-doing” in our diaries so that we can become less frenzied and less focused on doing.  We can change our attitude from “running out of time” to expanding our time through delegation, asking for help and learning to act more productively and calmly by devoting some time to self-care.  We can then contribute to the world through “overflow’, rather than depletion.

Diana also argues for the process of self-resourcing, building “positive states of mind” through pleasurable activities.  This can involve forest bathing, meeting with friends, spending time in our garden, journalling, blogging, and engaging in compassion practices.  We can imagine beautiful places that have brought us joy or revisit activities such as pickleball that offer enjoyment and fun.  Tai Chi, meditation-in-motion, is another way to replenish our inner resources and develop our overall health and fitness.

When we don’t care for ourselves

When we get consumed by our work and frenzied activity we exhaust ourselves and operate from a state of depletion.  Burnout, for example, causes depletion on the physical, mental and spiritual levels.  We become tired and exhausted, overly negative and cynical and  lose a sense of meaning in what we are doing.

Diana points out that we can’t give to others from this state of “emptiness”.  Self-nurturing can rebuild “our bathtub” so that we can offer service and help from a state of “surplus” rather than deficit.  When we are in deficit, every small challenge appears large and adds to our depletion.  We become short-tempered, impatient and critical of others.  So many things are seen to “stand in our way”. 

Diana suggests that The Nap Bishop, Tricia Hersey, has a lot to offer through her focus on rest and relaxation.  In her book, Rest Is Resistance, Tricia promotes the idea of napping, being prepared to say “no” and upholding personal boundaries as ways to “free yourself from the grind culture and reclaim your life”.  She argues that in this approach lies true liberation and justice.

Reflection

When I think about self-care, what immediately comes to mind is my weekly glass of wine that I have to relax and wind down from the week.  I rationalise this aberration from my diet on the grounds that it helps me focus away from work and is restful.  However, with my chronic illness of MCAS, drinking alcohol is not self-care but self-harm.  When I really reflect on what alcohol does to my body and mind, I have to ask myself, “Why do I persist in having my one glass a week when I know it is injurious to my health?”

As I grow in mindfulness through meditation, reflection and mindfulness practices, I can gain a greater insight into what drives my behaviour and develop the courage to create change so that self-care becomes a priority.

As part of this reflection, I wrote the following poem to help me unearth my thought patterns and reframe wine as self-harm, not self-care.  Wine can no longer be viewed by me as a reward – it is a source of harm.

What is There About Alcohol?

What is the attraction?
like light to a moth.

It hurts my head,
makes my throat sore.

It damages my stomach,
strains my liver.

It aggravates my arthritis,
disturbs my sleep.

The pain outlasts the pleasure,
a mythical creation.

Is it for companionship?
Is it for conformity?
Is it for comfort?
Is it for control?

What do we see in this delusion,
where are the rewards?

_________________________________________

Image by Niels Zee from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Discovering Pickleball – An Alternative to Tennis

I never thought I would be writing a post that elevates pickleball to a similar level as tennis.  As a “tennis tragic” I thought that pickleball was not the “real thing” as it is played on a court the same size as badminton and is promoted as a mix of this sport together with table tennis and tennis.  It clearly hasn’t the depth of traditions of tennis and the great battles of the Grand Slams and Davis Cup matches.  My disparagement of pickleball was shared by many in my tennis fraternity.

Necessity is the stimulus for innovation and a mind shift

I found as winter progressed again in Brisbane that the arthritis in the middle finger of my playing hand had worsened to the point that I had difficulty holding my tennis racquet and playing tennis caused a lot of pain.   Added to this, was the ever-present threat of exercise asthma caused by exertion in the cold air (I take a couple of puffs of my inhaler before playing to prevent an asthma attack occurring).

The arthritis in my finger makes it difficult to execute my tennis shots with any consistency to the point that the attraction of experiencing competence in the game of tennis is diminished considerably and is replaced by frustration at not being able to execute what I have been able to do previously without difficulty.  The arthritic condition of my finger is aggravated by “allergic arthritis” brought on by my MCAS chronic illness.

I have not been able to use my first serve in tennis for a number of years as it puts too much pressure on my weakened back.  A recent diagnosis of multilevel disc degeneration in my spine has made this even more critical. 

Ageing and pickleball

As I age, I lose speed in my reflexes, stamina in my body, strength in my arms and legs and overall fitness.  While I use walking, stretch exercises and Tai Chi to offset these diminishing physical capabilities, there is an inevitability about the downward trend owing to wear and tear over many years.

The experts in ageing tell us that we can prevent the onset of dementia by physical and mental activity, especially by learning new skills that involve a cognitive component.  For tennis players, pickleball requires a new language (paddle instead of racquet, dink instead of a drop shot) as well as new rules.  New rules to learn for pickleball doubles include:

  • You have to be serving to earn a point
  • With the exception of the first serve of a game, once one server (Server 1) loses a point, their partner (Server 2) starts serving until they lose a point (then serving reverts to the opposing team)
  • For the first serve of the first game, the first server is treated as Server 2 and once they lose a point, the serve immediately reverts to the opposing team (this can be difficult to get your head around!)
  • You are not allowed to volley in the “Kitchen” (an area seven feet from the net which exists on both sides of the net).
  • You have to serve underarm
  • Double bounce rule – the server must let the return bounce before hitting the ball (unlike tennis where you can volley a service return).

While there are competitions and international tournaments dedicated to young pickleball players, there are distinct advantages of  pickleball for older people.  These advantages include:

  • It is not as physically demanding as tennis
  • There is a strong social element to the game (if you do not play competition)
  • There are protocols for frequent rest breaks/drink breaks
  • The rotation system enables at least an eleven-minute break (the length of a game) when your time off the court arrives
  • You can take advantage of your competencies in other racquet sports acquired over the years
  • The Kitchen rules re volleying “keeps the athletically and physically superior from dominating the game”
  • It helps to maintain fitness and the motivation to keep fit
  • The underarm service action places a lot less pressure on your back in comparison to the overhead motion of a tennis serve.  (This has proved important for me as a recent diagnosis of neuropathy led to the discovery of multilevel disc degeneration in my spine.)
  • Provides a chance to meet new people and extend your social network
  • It can be played at various levels ranging from social to Advanced (competitive and tournament play); “social” means social.  As one Pickleball trainer/coordinator explained – in social pickleball you are meant to play to the level of the opposition (e.g. withholding more advanced shots when playing beginners) – an ethos rarely shared in social tennis.

Using pre-existing skills and competencies

One of the attractions for me in pickleball (being a new arena for me) is the opportunity to try out different shots each time I play.  Unlike a tennis racquet, the pickleball paddle does not have strings and the ball comes off the paddle differently to a tennis racquet.  While you may have competencies in spinning, volleying, lobbying and smashing from playing tennis, you have to make adjustments when using a pickleball paddle with a plastic ball.

The bounce of the ball is very different and requires  a lot of knee bending.  However, the challenges associated with a new “bat” and ball make it necessary to make adjustments to playing shots and to learn new skills.

Existing tennis skills such as anticipation and preparation can stand you in good stead when playing pickleball.  You can also draw on different spins you have mastered such as topspin, backspin and slice.  For those who have mastered the two-handed backhand in tennis, there are pickleball bats with an extended grip to enable two-handed shots.

Competency in devising game strategy is transferable from tennis to pickleball. For example, tennis drills designed to develop skills in controlling the net in tennis doubles can be drawn on when playing pickleball.  This could involve drop shops (dinks), or playing the ball long, sliced or angled to place an opponent at a disadvantage.  Other tennis drills associated with playing the ball down the line can come in handy in pickleball as very few people use (or able to use) this strategy in social pickleball.


Reflection

In a previous post I explained how tennis can help us to grow in mindfulness by developing our focus on the present moment, improving our capacity to pay attention, increasing our ability to act with intention and strengthening our resolve to “accept what is” (both our mental and physical capabilities at the time and those of our playing partner and opponents).  Likewise, pickleball can provide growth in mindfulness as a rich fringe benefit, especially when we play socially and choose, on purpose, to play at the level of our opponents.

I have also shared how I have found that Tai Chi, as a regular mindfulness practice, can develop tennis competence by improving concentration, coordination, reflexes and the ability to tap into heightened insight and instinctive responses embodied in body memory.  I’m discovering that this is true also of pickleball as I unconsciously access tennis skills developed over many years of tennis practice and playing.

In reflecting previously on my tennis game and skill, I wrote a poem called, For the Love of Tennis.  Reflecting on my discussion of pickleball, I have now developed an Ode to Pickleball titled, For the love of Pickleball.

 For the Love of Pickleball

Pickleball can be playful and fun:
Accessing our childlike creativity,
Building partner relationships.

It can promote growth:
Learning a new language, rules and skills,
Growing in mindfulness and sensitivity.

It can develop competence:
Using new tools in different ways,
Experiencing joy in execution.

It can enhance fitness:
Using new muscles,
Increasing motivation to stay fit.

Pickleball for quality of life and longevity:
Learning, laughing and enriching,
Moving beyond limited mindsets.

_________________________________________

Image by Nils from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield- Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution-Non-Commercial -No Derivatives.

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.