waves – Grow Mindfulness

Resting in Your Breath

Allyson Pimentel, in a guided meditation podcast, reminds us of the benefits of mindfulness that have been confirmed through neuroscience. Allyson is a mindfulness teacher with the Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), UCLA. She often leads the mindful awareness sessions, held weekly at the Hammer Museum and/or online.

Allyson defines mindfulness as “deliberately paying attention to what’s happening around you, within you and between you [and others]”. She asserts, along with other meditation teachers, that this means accepting “what is” while adopting a non-critical and non-judgmental stance. Our thoughts can be a distraction from this deliberate attention giving but, as Allyson points out, the role of the brain is to think. Our brains are designed to enable planning, memorizing, remembering/recalling. analyzing, critiquing, creating and comparing. In mindfulness meditation, we develop our awareness muscle by constantly returning to our anchor, not sustaining the distraction but treating it as clouds passing by.

One of the anchors that Allyson addresses during the guided meditation is listening to sounds. She suggests that our ears are a doorway to the outside world and all that is happening there. She argues that our senses – hearing, tasting, touching, seeing, smelling – are effortless tools for accessing the external world. She quotes from the poem of Joy Harjo, Remember, to reinforce the beauty and diversity that is around us to take in, if we are mindful – the plants, animals, dawn, sundown, earth, stars, and everything else that makes up our universe, including our parents and siblings and our ancestors who have gone before us. Joy Harjo is an acclaimed poet who was appointed United States poet laureate in 2019 and is the Chancellor of the Academy of Academic Poets.

Guided meditation

Allyson encourages us at the outset of the meditation to become comfortable, something that is different for every person depending on their current level of health and wellness and their means of physical comfort. Once we are physically comfortable, we can employ a strategy to become grounded and focused – for some it may mean taking a deep breath or for others it will involve stretching or yawning. Allyson invites us to close our eyes “so that our inner eyes can open”.

In the next stage of the guided meditation, she encourages us to listen to the sounds within us and around us – and to do so without interpretation, just opening our ears. Sounds can provide us with an anchor if our thoughts wander. However, I personally find them more of a distraction than using the alternative anchor Allyson proposes, our breath.

Allyson encourages us when using breath as anchor to try to locate the place in our body where we can best sense our breathing – chest, abdomen, or nose. Then to focus on the sensations associated with our breath, e.g., hot or cold, calm or agitated, slow or fast, deep or shallow. Our breath can be a doorway to ease and tranquility, provided it is not a stimulus to a trauma response. Many mindfulness teachers encourage us to choose a meditation anchor that best suits us individually and encourage us to be conscious of trauma-sensitive options. Allyson builds in this sensitivity throughout her guided meditation, including providing choice of posture, grounding technique and anchor.

Reflection

Stillness and silence provided through meditation enables us to surf the “waves” of life, and not go under when we encounter turbulence. Allyson’s guided meditation reminds us about how easy it is to access our breath which is always with us in the present moment. Meditation can enable us to develop a profound consciousness of our breath, as well as the sounds that surround us.

As we grow in mindfulness through meditation practices, we can experience ease and tranquility, develop the capacity to deal constructively with life’s challenges and open our minds and hearts to others as we increase our awareness of our connectedness.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Self-Care for Community Care

Shelly Tygielski – activist, author and mindfulness teacher – was recently interviewed by Fleet Maull as co-host of the Self-Care Summit. Shelly’s lifetime focus is on self-care with an emphasis on transforming self-care into care for the community. She is a living example of her beliefs and has worked with trauma sufferers including refugees from Ukraine and provided trauma-informed counselling and healing to victims of the Buffalo supermarket shootings.

Shelly is accredited as a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) facilitator. The creator of this intervention process, Jon Kabat-Zinn, describes her as “the real deal” – she genuinely and uniquely practices what she preaches. Her commitment to community action is also reflected in her creation of the Pandemic of Love – a global, mutual aid community that connects people in need with people who can provide help and resources. It has grown from one person, Shelly, posting a simple matching process online to more than 3,000 volunteers. Shelly was inspired by the fear and traumatising needs arising from the pandemic, such as the fear of one’s young family running out of food.

Shelly provides a range of resources to assist people with self-care, including a weekly guided meditation that is conducted with thousands of people. Her podcasts and webinars also provide insight into her philosophy and approach and the inspiration to engage in self-care for community care. Shelly’s experiences, insights and practices are also capture in her online course, The Power of Showing Up: Learn how to best support yourself and others.

Shelly acknowledges that she herself suffers from intergenerational trauma which involved, in part, the way women were treated in her own family line. She readily shares that she herself has had to deal with a lot of issues but has found that this makes her more empathetic to others and helps to build rapport and authenticity with the people she is attempting to help in whatever context she is working in.

Principles and practices

Underpinning Shelly’s approach and dedicated community service is a set of principles and practices that she shares generously with others in her writings, workshops and speaking engagements. In the limited space provided in this post, I can only hope to scratch the surface of what she provides elsewhere as a source of inspiration for others:

Self-care is self-preservation: self-care is not self-indulgent. We all need to care for ourselves so that we can manage the ups and downs of the waves of life, including the “dumpers” that leave us floundering. Without self-care, we can “go under” – drowned in the misfortunes, setbacks and failures we experience in everyday life. Carers and people in the helping professions tend to ignore self-care at the expense of their own physical and mental health – they identify with their role of care giver, not care taker. They see self-care as self-indulgence and in their view can ill afford the time to attend to their own needs.
Self-care is community dependent: we cannot survive without the support of others. One of the main causes of depression and addiction is disconnection from others – being isolated from the “helping hand”, the thoughtful word and the kind action. GROW, a peer-led mental health program, reminds us that “You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone”. We need the support of others – we may be “down” and de-motivated when they are “up” and providing energy and inspiration by their example, enthusiasm, commitment or encouragement. Shelly recommends having a personal self-care plan that we share with a “community of care” that can keep us accountable for our planned actions. She suggests that this is the way to achieve “sustainable self-care”.
Self-care is for community care: we are all interconnected and interdependent. The pandemic has highlighted our dependence on doctors and nurses, transport workers, farmers and farm workers, shop assistants and anyone who provides products and services. It deepened our sense of the pain and grief of others who experienced illness and/or loss of friends and family. Shelly’s Pandemic of Love provides a constructive way to help those in pandemic-driven need. She leads by example and asserts that self-care in isolation does not recognise our connection to others in all walks of life. Shelly argues that self-care for the community is what is ultimately important. She maintains that if we are depleted, cynical or depressed we cannot show up for others in need. Self-care re-energises and re-builds us to provide the help and support that members of our community need. This lesson was particularly brought home to Shelly after leaving behind the devastation of the lives of refugees from Ukraine whom she had been helping – besides experiencing emotional and physical exhaustion, she felt shame and guilt on returning home to peace, access to the healing power of nature and support of family and friends. She found that her self-care, micro-practices helped her to restore her perspective and energy.

Reflection

Kelly’s message is not only to engage in self-care but to transform this into community care through caring for others within our capacity and in accord with our knowledge and skills – the theme of her course, The Power of Showing Up. She acknowledges that many of us are “time-poor” and often feel guilty for taking time for ourselves, particularly if we are in a carer role. With this in mind, she highly recommends micro-practices which she utilizes extensively herself. Shelly shares her insights and practices in her podcasts and her recent book, Sit Down to Rise Up: How Radical Self-Care Can Change the World.

Shelly contends that we have a moral obligation to show up for others in need. We can create “ripples of influence” by joining with others to create social movements. The recent example of the success of TEAL candidates during the Australian Federal election shows how community activism around a shared set of values can cross the divide of location, socio-economic status and prior conditioning. TEAL is a loose connection of independent political candidates (not bound to any political party) who share a commitment to the common values of climate change, political accountability and gender equity. This solidarity led to unseating previously-elected members of the ruling political party who failed to demonstrate true commitment to these values, and, in some instances, had actively worked against them.

My takeaway from listening to Shelly and observing her vast array of actions and activism is my need to join or develop a community of care. To this end, I have purchased her course, The Power of Showing Up, so that I can engage more actively in community care. I also need to maintain my self-care activities in the form of Tai Chi, mindfulness activities, micro-practices and the reflective writing of this blog. As we grow in mindfulness through these kinds of activities, we can gain the necessary self-awareness, emotional regulation, self-care and courage to show up in the world and use our gifts to support others in their daily lives.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Body Scan Meditation – Being Present to Yourself

Gloria Kamler, stress-reduction expert and meditation teacher, provides a body scan meditation as one of the many UCLA weekly meditation podcasts. Gloria has been a meditation practitioner for more than 30 years and talks enthusiastically about the many benefits of mindfulness meditation. In the introduction to this guided meditation, she maintains that a body scan meditation can help us slow down, wake up to life and gain clarity about our purpose. She suggests that instead of floating like a balloon on the winds of life, we can choose how we want to live and be able to “show up for your life”.

Gloria argues that focusing on the body via a scan helps you to develop “moment by moment awareness” that can lead to equanimity. She maintains that our minds can lead us astray and delude us, while our body “always speaks the truth” if only we tap into it and pay attention to what we are sensing. Through a body scan, we can access a different part of our brain, develop self-caring and caring for others and build emotional regulation.

Body scan meditation

In her guided body scan meditation Gloria helps us to work progressively from our head to our feet dwelling on different parts of the body as we scan for tension, e.g. tightness in our neck, pain in our back, a tight furrowed brow, aching ankles or soreness in our knees. Recognising these sensations puts us in touch with our own bodies – it makes us present to ourselves and grounds us in the present moment as we experience it. Progressive releasing of tension as we bring our attention to different parts of our body, can create a sense of calmness and control. It can lift our spirits and help us to be ready for the day’s challenges and opportunities.

Awareness of positive sensations as we undertake the body scan can heighten our mood, develop confidence to move forward and strengthen our resolve. We could feel the firmness and solidity of our feet on the ground, energetic tingling in our fingers and arms and a calmness in our breathing – all of which portend and support our ability to surf the waves of life and make a real contribution to the lives of others, whether that is a simple smile, a random act of kindness, or compassionate action. In caring for ourselves through our body scan, we can be open to caring about, and caring for, others.

We can begin to realise that everyone is at some time experiencing some form of pain – mental and/or physical. We can feel connected to others just as we sense the deep interconnectedness of the parts of our body. The process of the body scan, like that of Tai Chi, helps us to appreciate the mind-body connection – if we are not at one with our body, we can be “all at sea” with our thoughts and emotions.

Reflection

A body scan meditation can really help us if our mind is racing or we are distracted by anxious thoughts. Becoming grounded in our body is the fastest route to being grounded in the present because our body is always present to us at every moment of every day – we just have to tune into it. As we grow in mindfulness through body scan meditations, we can access our capacity for conscious choice, emotional regulation and equanimity. We can approach life’s challenges with calmness, insight and openness to what is.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

The Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation

In an interview podcast with Bob O’Haver, Gloria Kamler, mindfulness meditation teacher and stress-relief expert, discussed her reasons for meditating and how her practice has evolved over more than 30 years. She indicated that in her first 10 years of meditation practice, she used to repeat mantras over and over for two and half hours each day. This proved not only to be unsustainable as she began working with clients, but she also found that she did not experience effective transfer to her daily life of the peace and calmness she experienced during meditation. It was then that Gloria turned to mindfulness meditation and the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn, the developer of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). She now offers training in MBSR and meditation.

She also indicated that her reasons for meditating have evolved from seeking peace and calmness (at the time of the Vietnam War) to achieving emotional regulation, living her life more consciously and developing kindness towards herself and others. She realised that, in working as a therapist with people with chronic pain, she needed to achieve kindness towards herself (despite her frailties and fragility) and others and develop the capacity to accept what is. Gloria suggests that we start each meditation practice session with the question, “Why am I meditating?” – this process strengthens our focus, raises our awareness of what we are actually doing and clarifies our purpose.

Benefits of mindfulness meditation

In a recent guided meditation podcast as a member of the MARC faculty, Gloria discussed what she experienced as the benefits of mindfulness meditation. She explained that her concept of meditation was the “training of attention” to be able to see more clearly what is happening in her life, to develop a different perspective and to be more settled and contented when dealing with the waves and vicissitudes of life.

Gloria maintained that mindfulness meditation developed our brains so that we were no longer fully captured by our habituated fight/flight/freeze response driven by our amygdala. She argues that for a majority of time we are working on “auto-pilot”, not being aware of what is going on inside us or in our immediate environment. When faced with a challenging situation we can revert to responding the way we always responded – with silence, anger, frustration, resentment, envy, aggression, or inaction. Mindfulness meditation enables us to develop choices and to become more skilful in navigating the ups and downs of life. In speaking of developing flexibility, freedom and choice, Gloria quotes Albert Einstein on how to create new ways of behaving, “The only way to change a habit is to do something different.”

Gloria found one of the benefits of mindfulness meditation that “totally surprised” her, was the tendency to be “much kinder and compassionate”. She found that this benefit was stimulated through a growing awareness of her connectedness to others and nature. She discovered that we are “naturally wired to be kind”. However, this capacity is often latent because we become “wired to the amygdala” that takes over – acting as our “Commander-in-Chief” determining what we perceive and how we think and feel, leading to our habituated responses. Gloria found that, through mindfulness meditation, she did not take her life experiences so personally, was able to “witness her own fragility”, act more skilfully and consciously and take compassionate action.

Skills developed through mindfulness meditation

Gloria suggests that there are three basic skills that we practice in mindfulness meditation:

Concentration – bringing our attention back to our desired focus, whether that be our breath, sounds, bodily sensations, or other anchor. In this way we reclaim our attention and build our “awareness muscle”.
Sensory and emotional clarity – being very aware of what we are sensing and our emotional responses to our perceptions. Associated with this, is developing the space between stimulus and response, and realizing that we have choice and freedom in how we respond – leading to emotional regulation.
Equanimity – allowing ourselves to be with what is, rather than resisting it. Gloria suggests that it is natural to resist, to hold tightly to things as they have been and resist what is new and challenging.

Self-Healing through mindfulness meditation

Kelly Noonan Gores in her book, Heal: Discover Your Unlimited Potential and Awaken the Powerful Healer Within, discusses the futility of the Disease of Resistance and the need to understand its message. She argues that the way forward and the means to break the hold of our tendency to resist is to “learn the language of the body”. Gloria suggests that technology can separate us from our reality and our bodies. By becoming grounded through mindfulness meditation, we can overcome self-sabotage and learn to work with our innate healing power and wisdom. In another meditation podcast, Gloria offers a guided meditation on “body and breath”.

In the meditation podcast that is the focus of this post, Gloria spends some time instructing us on how to become grounded, especially through our feet. She suggests, for example, that we concentrate on the bodily sensation in our feet – whether it is tingling or numbness, the sensation of socks on our skin or the feeling of something solid beneath us. When we become grounded, we no longer feel out of control or constantly buffeted by the turbulence of life. Mindfulness meditation becomes our refuge.

Reflection

As we grow in mindfulness through meditation, we can live our lives more fully, show compassion towards ourselves and others and experience joy, beauty and healing. We can become less controlled by our emotions and habituated responses and more open and creative.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Developing an Anchor for Your Meditation

A meditation anchor serves to stabilise your thoughts when your mind starts to wander during a meditation exercise. It is a way to secure your focus and restore your attention when you are invariably beset by distracting thoughts – a common occurrence for both experienced and inexperienced meditators. An anchor is a personal choice and what works at one time may not work in another situation. Diana Winston in her meditation podcast, Alternatives to Breath Awareness, highlights the difficulties that people are experiencing with breath as an anchor while wild fires are raging in California. People who suffer from respiratory problems, either chronically or intermittently, may also find that breathing is a difficult anchor to use during meditation. Diana suggests bodily sensations or sounds as alternatives to breath awareness that can serve as an anchor during meditation.

Bodily sensations as an anchor during meditation

Often guided meditations begin with a focus on bodily sensations, e.g. feeling the firmness of the floor or ground beneath your feet. This focus can be expanded to noticing the warmth or energy flow through your fingers when they are touching. You might alternatively focus on the breeze on your face, the sensation of uprightness in your chair, the support beneath your body from the ground or the sense of strength in your core. Personal preference plays a big part in choosing a bodily sensation as an anchor during meditation. It is important that it is emotionally neutral and does not evoke either strong emotions or racing thoughts. The anchor is designed to bring stability when everything around you is constantly changing, including your thoughts and emotions.

Sound as an anchor during meditation

Diana frequently recommends sounds as an anchor for meditation during her MARC meditation podcasts. The challenge here is to avoid evaluating the sound (e.g. in terms of whether it is good or annoying) or analyzing it (e.g. trying to identify the source of the sound). Evaluation or analysis can take you away from your meditation focus and set in train a whole new line of thinking. The sounds you choose can be anything that is relatively neutral. Every room has its own room tone, and this can be an anchor. If you tune into sounds, it can be useful to listen for the hardest to hear sound which intensifies your attention on listening. When engaging in mindful walking in the outdoors, it can be very rewarding to use the sound of birds surrounding you as an anchor.

Reflection

I recall that when we had the bushfires in Queensland, I found it very difficult to use breath as a meditation anchor because of the amount of smoke and ash in the air. I resorted to using the bodily sensation of fingers touching each other as an alternative. This has served me well ever since as I use this anchor during waiting time to increase my awareness.

The main point is to choose something as an anchor that works for you (this may require some experimentation) and being able to adapt as your circumstances change. What works at one time, may not work at another time. As we grow in mindfulness through different forms of meditation and developing our awareness muscle through effective meditation anchors, we will be better able to ride the waves of daily life and the challenges they present.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Finding Stillness and Joy in Turbulent Times With Mantra Meditations

Mantra meditation involves the repetition of a word or phrase while meditating. It typically combines mindfulness meditation with some form of chanting. It is an ancient meditation practice that has deep roots and is experiencing a resurgence in these turbulent times. Mantra meditations can be sung by an individual, group or choir and accompanied by music and/or calming visuals provided via video. These meditations through sound and vision often capture our connection with nature.

For example, the Epic Choir’s rendition of the Om SO HUM Mantra meditation simulates the movement of butterflies as the sound of singing rises and falls rhythmically. The epitomy of connection with nature in mantra meditation is provided by Lulu & Mischka’s video of “stillness in motion” which incorporates their chanting accompanied by guitar playing with visuals of sailing and singing with whales.

Lulu & Mischka – exemplars of the practice and benefits of mantra meditation

Lulu and Mischka are global exponents of the art of mantra meditation and have recorded two albums and produced a songbook in e-book form, as well as conducted workshops, concerts and retreats around the world. They recently provided mantra meditations over six days accompanied by Lulu’s harmonium and Mischka’s guitar playing as a contribution to inner peace in these turbulent times.

Lulu & Mischka describe themselves as “musicians and inner peace facilitators” who offer “joyful chanting and effortless meditation”. The capacity of mantra meditation to calm the nervous system, reduce emotional reactivity and destructive self-stories has been researched and validated by researchers at Linköping University, in Sweden. Other researchers have demonstrated consistently that “focused attention practices” such as meditation in its many forms develop “attention and awareness” while reducing self-obsession and harmful reactivity. Mantra meditations build our awareness of our connectedness to each other and to nature.

Reflection

As we grow in mindfulness through reflection and mantra meditations, we can achieve a stillness and inner peace in these turbulent times when everything is changing through the disruptive impact of the Coronavirus – through the constant and unpredictable disruption to our social, financial, employment, health, education and familial environments. Lulu & Mischka demonstrate in their own lives and their mantra meditations that that this approach to mindfulness can bring calm and joy to our lives – providing a retreat from the waves of uncertainty.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Building Your Relationship

In an earlier post, I looked at the different levels of connection involved in “love”. Before that, I explored ways to develop a sustainable intimate relationship through mindfulness. The reality is that building a relationship takes time and effort, but the rewards are great. No relationship is perfect and the belief that this is possible, leads to unrealistic expectations that can easily undermine a relationship. Every relationship experiences its ups and downs – its highpoints and low points – as two people try to negotiate the waves of life. Many people offer sound advice on things to do and to avoid in a relationship to enable it to grow and develop. Here are some suggestions that resonate with me:

Express gratitude and appreciation: this is a consistent theme and it is understandable why people recommend this so highly. No one likes being taken for granted, especially in an intimate relationship where there is always substantial give and take. Kira Newman points out that research shows that a lack of gratitude can drag down a relationship. Gratitude can not only help the relationship but it can also be healthy for you and enable you to deal with things that would normally get you down – things like wanting to complain, being bore or feeling overwhelmed by difficulties.
Don’t harbour resentment: Leo Babauta suggests that resentment is one of seven deadly sins that can kill off a relationship. Resentment can eat away at us and cloud our thinking as well as undermine our health and wellbeing. Leo offers ways to deal with resentment in a relationship in his discussion of the deadly sins. In a previous post, I offered a process of in-depth reflection designed to reduce resentment.
Challenge your unrealistic expectations: in the early stages of a relationship, the other person seems to be perfect (our perceptions can be clouded by the honeymoon stage of love). As time goes on, we begin to notice words and actions that we find annoying or upsetting. If we dwell unduly on these unmet expectations, they can outweigh our positive experiences in the relationship. Leo suggests that unrealistic expectations of perfection in our partner and our relationship can be the seeding ground for resentment. He argues that a foundational unrealistic expectation is wanting the other person to fulfill our lives – be the source of our personal fulfillment. He argues that it is important to find our fulfillment within our self and bring to the relationship a person who fully shows up in their life.
Comprehensive and regular communication with your partner: Leo reaffirms the views of many people that communication is “the cornerstone of a good relationship”. He suggests that this communication should not only cover what we appreciate in our partner but, in a kind and courageous way, involve sharing our resentments, jealousies or unfilled expectations that may arise over time in a relationship.

Reflection

It is so easy for a relationship “to go off the rails” and many people who have been able to sustain a long-term relationship, readily admit to the times when they experienced “darkness” or deep dissatisfaction in their relationship. The suggestions in this post can help to move us out of the dark and into the light again. If we can grow in mindfulness as we pursue our personal fulfillment, we can bring to the relationship a deep sense of gratitude, an enlightened self-awareness, a capacity for reflection-in-action (to prevent unnecessary escalation of a conflict), the resilience to meet relationship challenges and the ability to sustain the effort and the lifelong learning required to enrich our relationship. Developing our relationship will enable us to reap the rewards of companionship, mutual respect, love and a deep sense of psychological safety.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

Kindness and Meditation

Gloria Kamler recently presented a MARC meditation podcast titled, Body and Breath. Gloria teaches Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programs as a faculty member of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC). She draws on more than 20 years’ experience educating people in mindfulness meditation.

In her podcast, Gloria emphasised the benefits of mindfulness for everyday living. She stressed the importance of mindfulness in difficult times. From her perspective, mindfulness is fundamentally training our ability to focus and pay attention while meditation is the gym where we build our “mental biceps” – where we develop the part of our brain that enables us to deal with difficulties other than by the auto-pilot mode of fight, flight or freeze. In Gloria’s view, mindfulness builds our capacity for self-regulation, to make considered decisions, to follow through with our intentions and agreements and to deal more skilfully with the waves of life with their undulating calm and turbulence. She argues that mindfulness enables us to “fire on all cylinders” when confronted with difficulties, rather than become locked into what she calls, “the cycle of reactivity”.

Kindness and meditation

Gloria maintains that, in essence, mindfulness is about kindness and caring – for ourselves and others. Being mindful requires non-judgment of ourselves in the first instance and extending this stance to others – this sometimes requires forgiveness on our part.

Part of self-kindness is noticing what we are experiencing and accepting what is. It also means being able to appreciate and savour the pleasant things that are happening in our lives, even at the simplest level.

In the guided meditation that Gloria offers as a part of her podcast (at the 15-minute mark), she leads us in a progressive body scan and breath meditation. She stresses the role of noticing and naming distractions and returning to our focus as a way of building our “mental biceps” and our “awareness muscle”.

Reflection

As we grow in mindfulness, we become more aware of what is happening for us – our thoughts, feelings, interactions, and automatic responses (borne of prior conditioning and/or adverse childhood experiences). Through development of our “mental biceps” in meditation, we can build our capacity to regulate our emotions, make sound decisions and translate our good intentions into action. As we develop our personal mindfulness anchors in meditation, we can return to the calmness and equanimity afforded by mindfulness and provide kindness to our self and others.

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By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

How to Cope with Uncertainty

Recently, Diana Winston offered a meditation podcast on the topic, Dealing with Uncertainty. This was at a time of heightened uncertainty generated by the California wildfires that were threatening people’s lives and homes. Uncertainty arises when we do not know what will happen in the future, we have a sense of being out of control and we fear that the future holds potentially damaging outcomes for us physically, emotionally, financially or socially. Diana emphasised that uncertainty is an integral aspect of the world we live in today – in our increasingly global environment and resultant interdependence, many things are uncontrollable and beyond our capacity to influence.

Diana reminds us that we cannot deny the uncertainty of our reality, but we can learn to manage its impact on our lives – on our thinking, feelings, behaviour and relationships. Our anxiety in the face of this ever-encroaching uncertainty is exacerbated by our brain’s negative bias – often fearing the worst to enable us to prepare for fight or flight. We tend to anticipate negative outcomes from many activities such as a medical diagnosis and we begin to worry in anticipation of this unwelcome outcome. Diana maintains that meditation can provide a place of refuge when we experience uncertainty and the associated fear and anxiety – a secure retreat away from the waves of uncertainty that besiege us.

Meditation as an anchor in a turbulent sea

Diana offers several steps in her guided mediation for dealing with anxiety (MARC, UCLA). The meditation practice is designed to engender a sense of solace when uncertainty seems overwhelming:

Adopt a comfortable position and allow your body to begin to experience relaxation.
Focus attention on your body beginning with your breath as it courses through you. You can ground this attention by focusing on the expansion and contraction of your chest or abdomen.
Feel the sensation of your breath – coolness, energy flow, evenness.
Choose an anchor – e.g. your breath, sounds in the room or a bodily sensation such as tingling in your fingers when they are pressed together, or the feel of your feet placed firmly on the floor. You can then return to your anchor whenever you become unfocused or distracted by thoughts or sensations such as an itch or pain in a part of your body.
Notice any wandering off task and name what is happening e.g. lost in my thoughts; feeling anxious. Once you have named what is happening, return to your anchor.
Notice any sensation of discomfort or disturbing thought – give it some space and pay attention to it with kindness. You can change your posture if this helps or, alternatively, accept what is happening and plan to take action later, e.g. put some dermatitis cream on an itch.
Express appreciation for your safety, protection and wellness.
Extend your sense of gratitude to people engaged in making others safe and protecting them from harm, e.g. volunteers, the police and firefighters.
Focus on the groundedness of your body, take a deep breath and return to awareness of your surroundings.

Reflection

Meditation can help us to grow in mindfulness – awareness of our external reality and internal reactions such as fear and anxiety in the face of uncertainty. Meditation provides a refuge and a source of solace in the face of life’s uncertainty. The anchor we develop through meditation can serve us well throughout our daily lives, at work or at home. Mindfulness can help us scare away the darkness of uncertainty so that we can achieve what the singer, Passenger, suggests:

Feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up, we can scare away the dark.

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Image by Jerzy Górecki from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.

How to Develop Natural Awareness

Diana Winston, in her book The Little Book of Being, suggests that as we grow in mindfulness, we can more readily develop natural awareness (awareness that is not goal-oriented, but involves being conscious of experiencing awareness itself). She maintains that natural awareness can give rise to deep internal changes that can be sustained over a period or experienced intermittently. These changes involve a clarification of our life purpose and the desire to achieve alignment in our daily lives.

Diana argues that natural awareness is difficult to maintain but whenever realised it takes us into a state of profound peace and equanimity. This state enables us to better manage the vicissitudes of life – the waves of challenge and disturbance that are an integral part of being human.

Developing Natural Awareness

Diana suggests several ways that you can develop natural awareness as a part of your everyday life:

While undertaking a simple daily task like washing the dishes, focus your attention on the sensations associated with this action, e.g. the visual realisation of the suds that arise when dish washing liquid is added to the water, the sensation of the hot water on your hands, the sense of accomplishment or associated relief from completing an often unwelcome task.
Consciously monitoring how you spend your time during the day and deciding to let go of activities that take you away from alignment with your life purpose, e.g. watching “soap operas” or “reality television”, spending time criticising others/the government/service providers, reading magazines that are based on rumour and gossip or holding onto anger or resentment.
Ask yourself, “Who would you be if you were fully you?” and engage in deep listening as you attend to what emerges from this brief reflection.
Imagine something that is deep and boundless such as the ocean depths; something that is expansive and ever-changing such as the clouds in the sky; or something that is brilliant and visually contrasting such as a sunrise or sunset.
Notice what has changed inside you when you effortlessly handle a disruption to your meditation practice, an annoying comment from an spiteful person, an unwarranted criticism or time spent waiting for public transport.
Find a “new address” by moving out of Envy Boulevard or “Anxiety Street” or any other self-absorbed position or location – moving progressively instead to a new place to reside such as “Joy Avenue”.
Consciously avoid foods that cause inflammation in your body and negatively impact your health and well-being, and practise mindful eating with health-promoting foods.

Reflection

Natural awareness is a desirable outcome flowing from meditation and the associated growth in mindfulness. With natural awareness we can experience deep personal insight and change, clarify our life purpose and progressively move to achieve alignment with that purpose in our daily activities – our words, our actions and how we spend our time. This integration leads to sustainable happiness.

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Image by Eric Michelat from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group and the resources to support the blog.