mindfulness practice – Grow Mindfulness

Developing Mindfulness through Nature

Sylvie Rokab recently presented a Zoom workshop as a teaser for her 8-week online course, Discover the Power of Nature-Inspired Mindfulness. The course is designed to help us relieve anxiety and release our natural power. Sylvie is a multi-talented nature lover who inspires others to appreciate nature through her talks, filmmaking, forest bathing experiences and mindfulness workshops and courses. In a TEDx talk, she spoke of the healing power of nature and described nature as medicine. A highpoint in Sylvie’s life and work is the making of the award-winning film, Love Thy Nature, as Director, with Liam Neeson as Narrator.

In the Zoom workshop, Sylvie used a visualisation exercise to help participants get in touch with nature by envisaging walking beside water flowing in a river and immersing themselves in the related sensory experiences. Participants reported a sense of calm, relaxation and peacefulness as they became immersed in this mindfulness experience.

Negativity bias contributes to anxiety

Sylvie argues that the “negativity bias” that we have inherited from Mother Nature is designed to ensure our survival as individuals and as a species – the fight/flight/freeze response mechanism enables self-protection. As Tara Brach points out in her Power of Awareness Course, the negative bias of our genetic make-up can feed anxiety and deprive us of happiness. Mindfulness, in contrast, can nurture the seeds of happiness by building awareness of everything that is positive in our life, including awe-inspiring nature.

Sylvie also explained that the culture that we live in today induces anxiety and unhappiness. The negative dynamics of our society are reflected in colonisation, mineral extraction, and the greed of invasion and land grabbing. Sylvie maintained that this “dysfunctional living” leads to a sense of disconnection and isolation as we lose sight of our connectedness. Social media and advertising, too, are biased towards messaging that emphasises our deficits – not being good enough, and how to become smarter, cool, or sexier. Tara Brach discusses the resultant “trance of separation and unworthiness” in an insightful article that focuses on “awakening” from the trance through honouring our interconnectedness with all living things, including our own bodies and nature.

Valuing our interconnectedness

Sylvie highlighted our interconnectedness with nature by stating that “nature is breathing you” and “calming your brain”. She talked of the need for a “nature fix” to enable us to relax and unwind from the busyness of life and the concurrent negative messaging. Sylvie reminded us that the definition of mindfulness proposed by Jon Kabat-Zinn emphasises adopting a non-judgmental stance. Our society, however, encourages judgment, comparison and envy which act as blocks to kindness, compassion and happiness.

Sylvie reminded us that Quantum Physics has provided evidence of the interconnectedness of everything. She encouraged us to become amazed that we are part of something that is much bigger than ourself – just viewing the images and videos of the Hubble Space Telescope can expand our horizons enormously and cultivate our sense of wonder. She suggests that the more we can remind ourselves to observe nature (e.g., the sky, trees) and imagine the earth going around the sun, the better we will be able to achieve “calm showing up in the world and in our relationships”. Sylvie quoted Rumi’s comment that we are not just a drop in the ocean but “the entire ocean in a drop” – a theme that is embraced in Lulu & Mischka’s mantra meditation, “Stillness in Motion”.

Mindfulness practices to cultivate awareness

During the Zoom workshop, Sylvie encouraged us to explore mindfulness practices to cultivate awareness. A starting point could be observing silence for 10 minutes on a daily basis – observing silence and stillness in nature is a pathway to self-awareness and resilience. Sylvie reminded us of the neuroscience supporting the value of mindfulness in altering our mind and brain.

Another mindfulness practice that Sylvie encouraged is a practice called S.T.O.P. – promoted by Tara Brach. The practice involves pausing (Stop), deep breathing (Taking a breath), noticing our emotions and bodily sensations (Observing) and responding with self-regulation (Proceeding). This practice cultivates self-awareness, emotional regulation and calmness.

Sylvie maintained that mindfulness practices designed to commune with nature awaken the senses and enable us to connect with “nature beings”. She especially encouraged nature therapy through “forest bathing” which is scientifically proven to have healing effects both mentally and physically. She also recommended that we engage with, and attract, people who are committed to, and consciously pursuing, mindfulness – arguing that “many drops of water” can make a river or ocean of support and change.

Reflection

There are many ways that we can engage with nature. Sylvie’s presentation made me more aware of the ways that I attempt to connect with nature on a daily basis – growing plants, composting and worm farming, watering our herbs and native trees, observing and listening to birds (Rainbow Lorikeets, Kookaburras, Noisy Minors, Magpies, fish-eating birds and various nectar-eaters), walking along the esplanade beside the bay and marina, and cultivating natural awareness while standing on our deck (that overlooks our back garden with a view of the Bay and islands in the background). I am often amazed by, and savour, the stunning sunrises and sunsets reflected in the water of a morning or evening.

Sylvie maintained that her course on nature-inspired mindfulness enables participants to overcome confusion and distractions caused by information overload and to revitalize their purpose while developing “a sense of community” and connectedness with nature. She encourages us to explore contemplative practices to achieve clarity about our values, vison and life purpose. These practices can enable us to be true to ourselves and live in a way that is aligned to our purpose and values. She suggested, for example, going into nature and asking questions that are potentially empowering:

What is the lesson to be learnt here?
How do I grow from my connection to nature?
How am I sharing my gifts and passion for the benefit of others?
What would my life be like if I was fully aligned to my vision, values and purpose?

As we grow in mindfulness by connecting with nature, engaging in nature-inspired contemplative practices and savour our natural environment, we can deepen our awareness, heighten our connectedness and cultivate appreciation, gratitude and compassion.

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Image by Penny from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

Our Friend Kay: A Life of Openness and Curiosity

Recently we lost a long-standing friend with the death of Kay Dickie on 3 August 2023. My wife and I have known Kay for forty years – from both a work and a personal perspective. Her career was interlaced with both our work lives during her many interludes in the world of work. More recently, Kay has shared her love of music with us in the wonderful setting of Stradbroke Island. Her life was lived with a mindful curiosity that manifested her inquisitee mind and her deep appreciation of everything in life – life’s mysteries, nature, her friends and beloved dog, .

Exploring the world of work with Kay

I first met Kay when she was Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) Coordinator in the Federal Department of Social Security and I was Director, Corporate Services reporting to the State Director. One particular case of sexual harassment stands out in my mind because it illustrates Kay’s commitment, compassion and dogged perseverance. She had been blocked by multiple levels of management when trying to investigate what proved to be a serious case of sexual harassment. Kay, through my agency, was able to act to unearth the issue, circumvent the power politics and prevent the harassment from continuing.

Kay’s inquisitive mind was not easily fobbed off by managerial intransigence – it only encouraged her to explore deeper and exhaust all avenues for a resolution. My current consulting colleague, Julie Cork, who was EEO Director at the Commonwealth Public Service Board in Brisbane at the time, commented that Kay had a profound understanding of the EEO Coordinator role and was able to articulate it clearly within her Department and in the broader Coordinator network.

Kay was a strong advocate of action learning and in her work and personal life she epitomised supportive challenge and asking fresh questions as encouraged by Reg Revans, the Father of Action Learning. From 1991 – 1994, Kay was the Project Manager for the University of Queensland Action Learning Program (ALP) which was judged Best Practice by the Committee for Quality Assurance in Higher Education. Kay and I wrote a report on the first two years of the Program which was published by the Tertiary Education Institute at the University of Queensland in 1993.

I was External Consultant and Mentor for the Program Team in the first five years of the ALP Program which eventually ran for 9 years. The program – its philosophy, processes and outcomes – was the subject of my PhD published in 1996, Action Learning for Professional and Organisation Development: An Action Research Case Study in Higher Education. The PALS Model developed as part of my PhD research was published in an article I wrote for The Learning Organisation Journal 2002, Creating innovation and synergy through a parallel action learning structure.

Kay was also Project Manager for the 1995 National Research Project, Action Learning in Vocational Education and Training. The project involved 9 researchers, including myself, and produced four major reports which became the foundation documentation for the nationally accredited Certificate 4 in Change Management – Action learning. As part of the project, Kay and I undertook a series of interviews of managers who had introduced action learning into their organisations. This research included an interview with the CEO of Kinney Shoes (Australia) that had nearly 500 stores throughout Australia. Kay and I collaborated with a number of other researchers on the project to produce Volume 3: Applied Principles for the national project. This volume incorporated cases studies developed through our interviews.

Curiosity about energy and consciousness

Kay was a prime mover in organising the ALAR National Conference in 1996, Energy Switch: the possibilities offered by action learning, action research, and process oriented methods. Dr. Bert Cunnington provided the plenary presentation on the topic, All you need is love: the loving, learning organisation. Bert maintained that organisations needed to move from “the negative energy of fear, doubt, and competition” to the “positive energy of love, faith, collaboration and creativity.” Bert referred to the research that highlighted the high incidence of illness and the related job dissatisfaction in organisations. He contended that the solution to dealing with the stresses of current organisational life lay in the 4 C’s – challenge, commitment, control and connection. The emphasis here is on stimulation through challenge, commitment to meaningful work, individual self-efficacy and agency and connection through social support (within and outside work and family). Bert’s presentation is documented in the ALAR Journal under the title, Dedication- to Dr. Bert Cunnington (Vol 2 No 2 – pages 3-17).

Kay was fascinated by consciousness and the relevant insights from quantum physics and frequently referred to energy as a key element of life. She cited Albert Einstein’s perspective, “What we call matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses”. Einstein’s perception that “everything is energy” that can only be changed, not destroyed, opened up Kay’s horizon on consciousness and spirituality. She agreed with Einstein’s statement, “We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us”. Kay reflected what Einstein said of himself, “I’m passionately curious”. On her 76^th birthday, three months before she died, Kay reflected, “the older I get, seeking is the only game in town”.

Reflection

Kay began exploring quantum physics and energy when she was undertaking a Masters Degree. Like Margaret Wheatley she was keen to learn what quantum physics meant for organisations and her own personal life. Margaret explored the writers in the area in her ground-breaking 1992 book, Leadership and the New Science: Learning about Organizations from an Orderly Universe. Margaret’s quest and challenging questions, mirrored Kay’s search for understanding.

Cliff Bunning, Kay’s supervisor, explored in depth how quantum physics relates to developing our spiritual life. In his 2011 book, The Direct Path to Self-Realisation and Beyond, he maintained that “all feelings good and bad are basically the same energy…flowing in the opposite direction”. He suggests that positive energy can be generated by expressing gratitude, being forgiving, giving positive vibes, having a pet, feeding your mind with positive information, connecting with nature regularly and “following your heart”.

Global leadership coach and biophysicist, Ginny Whitelaw, contends that leadership in organisations is about resonance. In her book, Resonate: Zen and the Way of Making a Difference, she maintains that the role of a leader is that of an “energy concentrator”, achieving “synchronous vibration” with followers through listening, mindfulness practices such as Tai Chi, connecting with the energy of nature and accessing our positive energy force through deep breathing.

Kay exhibited positive energy derived from her deep love of nature, her extended social network, and her positive outlook on life. She drew energy from everything around her and especially the waters and trees of Stradbroke Island. She once commented, “I need to be near water, otherwise I shrivel up”. Her life was a simple life that made a difference in the lives of the people she interacted with.

Diana Winston, Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), defines mindfulness as paying attention to our present moment experiences with openness and curiosity and a willingness to be with what is. Kay epitomised mindful living. As we grow in mindfulness through our own connection with nature and all that is positive in our lives, we can also make a real difference through the positive energy and vibration that we emit.

While composing this blog post, I came across a song, Curiosity Abounds, by Modus Operandi. Their instrumental album that this song is drawn from, Organic Exploratorium, involves “Discovery backdrops and positive soundtracks filled with the promises of education, research, the future”. The album includes other songs like Curiosity in Planets, Inquisitive Minds, Reality Beckons, Explore the Unknown, Another Day to Explore – all of which resonate strongly with Kay’s outlook on life.

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Image by Sven Lachmann from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

Consolidating a Career: Establishing a Career Identity

Angela Duckworth, in her book, Grit: Why passion and perseverance are the secrets to success, describes George E. Vaillant, Professor of Psychology (Harvard Medical School), as an exemplar of “grit”. George was Director of Harvard’s Study of Adult Development for more than 30 years and persisted in data collection and interpretation over those years – mining the “gold” within the longitudinal study undertaken over 75 years. He was particularly enamoured by the richness of such a prospective study which enabled data collection and interpretation as both the circumstances and characteristics of study participants changed over time – information being captured at different age points in their life (such as thirty, fifty, sixty and eighty).

George readily acknowledges that not only did the study participants change over time, but the interpretive framework, including his own evolving understanding, changed as well. He was very conscious of the biological mindset of the early investigators on the research project and his own latter bias towards psychological frameworks. His third book about the study, Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study, illustrates very clearly his personal evolution as well as that of the people undertaking the study – he often acknowledges how his assumptions about an individual’s potential proved to be wrong (based on his prior erroneous reasoning).

Consolidating a career – an evolutionary concept

George was strongly influenced by the adult development framework of Erik Erikson presented in his book, Childhood and Society. In his Pulitzer Prize winning book, Erik identified 8 stages of psychological development, including Stage 5 – Identity Versus Confusion. George attempted to fit the data on the psychological development of his study participants to this stage as described by Erik Erikson. However, George found that while study participants were able to establish a personal identity, they often had not developed a “career identity”. He decided to divide Erik’s “Identity versus Confusion stage” into two separate stages – “Identity” (versus “Identity Diffusion”) and “Career Consolidation” (versus “Role Diffusion”). Identity in George’s terms means “to separate from social, economic, and ecological dependence upon one’s parents”. Career consolidation, on the other hand, leads to “Career Identity” (a state he contrasts with experiencing role diffusion – an inability to commit to a “work” role that provides both personal enjoyment and social contribution).

Career Identity

The outcome of George’s “Career Consolidation” stage is “Career Identity”. He maintains that this stage of adult development involves four key tasks – commitment, compensation, contentment, and competence. George suggests that if all four are not present, then what is often involved is a job, not a career. The tasks of commitment and contentment reflect the perseverance and passion that I discussed as core elements of “grit”. Compensation often reflects competence but George points out that it can be a misleading concept where women’s compensation is involved (because of a lack of equal pay) and also for househusbands who he considered to have a “consolidated career” if commitment, contentment and competence are present (despite the lack of adequate compensation). Effectively, “compensation” is the more flexible element of his Carrer Identity stage.

George also argues that Career Identity involves a basic paradox in that commitment to a career that is sufficiently contributory beyond the self to warrant compensation, is also a “selfish” pursuit in that it requires the self-absorption necessary to develop the requisite competence. He suggests that society is tolerant of both men and women as they attempt to develop the “sense of competence” that underpins Career Identity.

Reflection

When I look at George’s concept of Career Identify, I reflect on my own work life as an academic. I can see that my academic career spanning more than thirty years had each of the four elements present – commitment, contentment, compensation and competence (the latter reinforced by the award of Emeritus Professor on retirement). While many elements of this career and associated identification were personally rewarding, some aspects were not. I enjoyed teaching students, examining Masters and Doctoral Theses and the researching/learning that such a career entailed; however, I did not appreciate the politics of academia that diverted my energy and attention away from my core role(s).

As I grow in mindfulness, through reflection and other mindfulness practices, I have come to value my career and its highlights, to be grateful for the opportunities that it provided (including overseas travel) and for the mentors and supporters (including my parents) who made my progression possible. Without their guidance and belief in my capacity, I would not have been able to achieve this aspect of the Identity Stage of adult development.

One of my mentors, Professor David Limerick, died recently after leading an exemplary life encompassing Career Consolidation, robust self-esteem, love of family, generosity towards others and an enduring love of nature and music. I can readily feel the imprint of his life on my own mindset and personal development, my love of nature and music, and my perspective on organisation change and development. To this day, I appreciate the time and effort he took to enable us to co-author an award-winning article – Transformation Change: Towards an Action Learning Organization (1995 Award for Excellence, The Learning Organization Journal).

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Image by Alexa from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

Grit: Realizing our Potential

Angela Duckworth describes “grit” as the “combination of passion and perseverance”. According to Angela, high performers are separated from under-performers (as measured against natural talent) because they not only have determination but a direction inspired by a passion. In her book, Grit: Why passion and persistence are the secrets to success, she provides substantial research and multiple examples that underpin her perspective on “the psychology of achievement”. She argues exhaustively that talent is not the determinant of success – despite “the global war for talent”.

Talent is misleading

There are many people in numerous areas of endeavour who have what we call “natural talent” but who fail to realise their potential. Angela argues that we often resort to the word “talent” as a way to explain high performance or what we see as exceptional achievement beyond what is perceived as the norm. As I read this, I remembered an incident when I played social tennis recently – I had produced a winning running, cross-court forehand shot which elicited the unexpected comment from my tennis partner, “That’s just natural talent”. Little did he realise that I had been playing tennis for more than 65 years and that my brothers and I used to spend hours each week doing tennis drills, including practising endless cross-court shots.

Angela suggests that high performance or achievement is often described as “magical” because it serves to protect a person’s self-esteem and offers an excuse for not competing or attempting to match the seemingly unattainable level achieved by others. She contends that more often than not, exceptional performance or achievement is the result of grit – the combination of consistent hard work and persistence in the face of setbacks. She maintains that labelling high performance as “natural talent” can mislead us into not making an effort. She gives the example from her own teaching career where she was mislead into thinking that effort had to go into the seemingly talented at the expense of the “strugglers”. This absolved her and the strugglers from making the extra effort required to bring them up to speed.

Perseverance: the hard work behind exceptional performance or achievement

Angela gives many examples of people lacking natural talent who nonetheless are exceptional performers/achievers. For example, she writes about John Irving, author of 12 exceptional books (half of which have been turned into movies) and his struggle with dyslexia. In his school days, John was described as “lazy and stupid”. He overcame his disability by reading with his finger slowly which resulted in his ability to pay attention to an exceptional degree and to realise that repeating something over and over enabled him to understand that through such repletion “something that was never natural becomes almost second nature”. John indicated that his greatest ability as a writer is ”reworking” – having the willingness and stamina to do multiple redrafts of his novels.

Angela also highlighted the “work ethic” of Will Smith who claimed that he was “not to be outworked” – he would go so far as “to die on the treadmill”. He claimed that he lacked the smarts, talent and sexual appeal of other actors, but understood that effort, not talent, determines results. As Angela points out, there are many people who have a precocious level of talent who under-perform because they are not prepared “to put the work in” – it all comes too easy for them so they quickly plateau.

People often drop out before they realise their potential, whether they are attempting to achieve elite performance or just using their exercise bike, running track, weights or tennis practice. The defining personal quality for excellence is “stick-to-itness” which is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “the ability or capacity to see a course of action through to its completion” – which translates into “dogged perseverance”. According to Angela’s research on excellent performance and achievement, “the highly accomplished were paragons of persistence”. She maintains that we can overlook the persistent, consistent hard work involved because we “see the performance but not the training”.

There is a certain mundanity about the hard work involved – repetition of seemingly boring tasks done daily over an extended period. Angela cites Dan Chambliss who studied Olympic Swimmers and wrote a report titled, The Mundanity of Excellence: An Ethnographic Report on Stratification and Olympic Swimmers. Dan concludes, after three years of research, “Excellence is achieved by the doing of actions, ordinary in themselves, consistently and carefully.” The actions are done with care to ensure they are “correct” but are repeated ad nauseum to enable them to become “habituated” and combined in performance to achieve excellence. He stated that “superb performance is really a confluence of small skills or activities”.

Passion: the driver of perseverance

Angela describes high performers and achievers in her research as people “chasing something of unparalleled interest and importance”. Passion drives persistence. A singular focus maintained over time requires an underlying passion. I used to tell my PhD students not to start a thesis unless they are passionate about the topic – without the passion they will inevitably “run out of steam”. As Dan points out in his report, ‘a dissertation is a mundane piece of work” and the real test is whether you can complete it to the point of submission (which explains why some doctoral attrition rates [dropping out] reach 50% or higher).

Angela cites the work of Francis Galton who undertook a longitudinal study of high achievement in fields such as law, science athletics and the arts. He concluded that exceptional zeal and “the capacity for hard work” enabled the “outliers” to “demonstrate exceptional ability”. Angela also notes that Charles Darwin, Francis’ cousin, agreed that zeal and hard work are “the eminently important difference” in high achievement, not intellect. Darwin claimed that he was not so remarkably clever but his “industry” (application to observation and understanding) were exceptional. He indicated that what drove this persistence and perseverance was a “love of natural science” that has been “steady and ardent”. As Angela points out, it’s not just a love of, or passion for, an area of endeavour but the ability “to stay in love” with it that counts in the final analysis.

Angela describes the work of George Vaillant who persisted with following the Harvard Medical School’s Study of Adult Development (which was undertaken over 75 years). George who was the director of the study for more than 30 years published key insights from the study in three books, the latter of which was Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study. He claimed that he was “not naturally persistent” but undertook the Harvard study on a consistent and persistent basis. He maintained that he was “totally fascinated by the Study” and stated that “there is nothing more interesting than watching people grow”. His passion drove his perseverance.

Effort – the determinant of skill level and achievement

Angela contends that talent can determine how quickly skill is improved if you put in the effort. However, effort builds skill and also enables us to make that skill productive. As skill develops through hard work, we are better able and more willing to use our acquired skills. Angela illustrates this theory of skill development and achievement through effort, with the work of Master potter Warren MacKenzie (considered an American Treasure). Warren initially attempted with his wife Alix (Alixandra Kolesky) to try different arts such as jewellery and textile design and decided to focus on pottery. He thought that excelling at one thing would be much more satisfying than being amateurish at many things. So together he and his wife concentrated on ceramic work “because that was where we felt our true interest lay”.

Warren invested effort in making about fifty pots a day and indicated that the first ten thousand pots were difficult. Each day his skill grew and his achievement in terms of what he considered good pots grew. Looking back on his early pots he viewed them in hindsight as not very good, lacking the richness that he was looking for. Being a potter for most of his adult life (he died at age 94) he was able to apply his expertise and insight to teach ceramic arts at the University of Minnesota over a period of 37 years.

Warren showed that his hard work and application – making pots every day and trying to improve his art – led to skill mastery and enabled him to apply his skill to not only excel in his chosen art form but also to become an esteemed Professor and teacher.

Reflection

Angela cites William James, American psychologist and philosopher, who maintained that people very often failed to actualize their potential – “we are making use of only a small part of our possible mental and physical resources”. The gap in actualization, according to Angela, often comes down to a lack of willingness to persevere with the hard work that is required to turn passion and interest into skill, mastery and application. She encourages everyone to put the work in to pursue their passion – an exhortation echoed by Naomi Simpson in her book, Live What You Love: When Passion and Purpose Change Your life.

I found by applying myself to writing this blog (over 700 posts) that writing has become easier – I can more readily focus on a topic, integrate material from multiple sources (podcasts, novels, videos, articles, blogs) and create an original post. The act of writing has become easier as I have refined my writing process through perseverance (despite many setbacks and distractions) and pursued my passion to grow mindfulness. I continue to learn about being mindful in everyday life and have learnt to adapt my mindfulness practices to changing circumstances. I am always on the lookout for mindfulness exemplars.

When I look back on my tennis experience over more than 60 years, I can see how Angela’s theory of skill acquisition and application through hard work bears fruit in terms of high performance. I have played over 1,000 sets of tennis and practised individual shots over numerous hours over my lifetime. Even when no one else was available to play a game of tennis with me, I would take a bucket of balls to a tennis court and practise my serves and shots up and down the forehand and backhand sidelines as well as crosscourt. Even today in my seventies, I can complete tennis shots that surprise the people I am playing with (such as a backhand half-volley drop shot or a backhand half-volley lob). I find that mindfulness, especially Tai Chi, improves my game.

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Image by Shahid Abdullah from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site and the resources to support the blog.

The Simplicity of Meditation

Marvin Belzer, PhD, provided a guided meditation podcast emphasising the simplicity of the process and the fact that its eminently “doable” – even if we have to fit it into a busy life by dedicating 3-5 minutes to focused attention on the present moment and our bodily sensations. He emphasised that it does not have to be difficult or challenging but does require effort and regular practice. He emphasised the need to avoid setting a goal that we pursued through meditation – this can create stress and distraction. His emphasis is on keeping it simple while paying attention to some aspect of our everyday life.

Marvin indicated that he has practised meditation for more than 30 years and has taught mindfulness for 20 years. He offered the meditation as part of the free weekly guided meditations provided by MARC, UCLA. His role in UCLA is that of Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences. He has taught mindfulness to many groups including semester-length courses for university students and courses for teens. We can gain some insight into Marvin’s mindfulness orientation by listening to his interview with Bob O’Haver on Bob’s “Why Meditate?” Podcast – the interview provides some insight into Marvin’s approach to meditation, mindful living, and the cultivation of compassion in our lives.

Guided meditation

In the guided meditation, Marvin maintains that by keeping the process simple, we can more readily access the calming effect of meditation and not be so readily distracted by complex or abstract thoughts. The focus is on the present moment awareness as we are experiencing it. His starting point is deep breathing to help us to ground ourselves – with a sigh on the out-breath. Marvin offers a choice of anchors – bodily sensations, surrounding sounds or our breath. He encourages us to sustain our attention on one of these anchors so that we can experience a sense of calm, peace and stability. Marvin emphasises that this simple approach to meditation can be a refuge in busy or turbulent times, if we make it a regular practice.

In his view, meditation enables us to pay attention to what is real in our life, not what we wished it would be. Marvin encourages us to persist with paying attention even when thoughts, emotions or sensations distract us from our focal anchor. He suggests that we adopt a playful approach to meditation not chiding ourselves, but noting something like, “There I go again, planning my day as if my life depended on it”. He recommends that even in this busy time of the year, with Christmas approaching, we can adopt the habit of brief meditations – a process I employ when “waiting” for someone or something, especially traffic lights.

Marvin encourages us to be non- judgmental towards ourselves but to “show up as we can”, given our commitments, health and family situation. This is sound advice as I often find myself, when I am unwell or have an injury, being critical of myself for not doing my Tai Chi mindfulness practice. His overall approach with his focus on simplicity and regularity is very encouraging.

Marvin also notes that sometimes we can be bored during meditation (I can relate to this!) but that boredom can be an important antidote to the endless stimulation provided by social media and invasive advertising. Our capacity to pay attention is continuously eroded by the “firehose of information” – a term used by Johann Hari in his book, Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention. If we persist with meditation despite our sense of boredom, we can reap the fruits of developing our awareness muscle and deepening our capacity to concentrate. It is critical for our mental health and the health of our minds to protect our attention.

Reflection

Marvin, like accomplished practitioners in many fields, is able to make complex concepts and processes simple. His approach encourages us to persist with meditation, no matter what is happening in our lives. He suggests, for example, that if we are anxious, we can pay attention to the bodily sensations of our anxiety – we can release any tension we locate or stay with the sensation in a softening, calming way through a compassionate body scan. As we grow in mindfulness through regular mindfulness practices such as meditation, we can access our inner landscape, enjoy tranquility, and gain clarity and insight.

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Image by nobutz from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

The Wounds of Trauma and Their Impact on Relationships and Communication

In their book, What Happened to You?, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry, provide a chapter where they bring together an understanding of the wounds of trauma and their impact on relationships, communication between people and physical illness. Throughout, they stress the mind-body connection and how the brain processes experiences. Bruce’s explanations are lucid and, together with Oprah, he illuminates the ideas and concepts with stories and examples. Oprah draws on her own traumatic upbringing and thousands of interviews with traumatised individuals of all ages; Bruce draws on his research and clinical practice, especially with traumatised children. The book reflects decades of experience and the ongoing conversations between the authors.

The book is incredibly rich in ideas, insights and stories and I found that I was better able to absorb its content by listening to the CD-Audio version which is narrated by the authors as an everyday conversation. The interchange of ideas and experiences adds to the clarity of their explanations of the wounds of trauma and the elucidation of their impact in individual cases. With the audio version of the book, Bruce also provides a series of diagrams that illustrate the conceptual framework behind the book and the shared understandings.

Understanding the wounds of trauma

Bruce contends that trauma-related symptoms are often overlooked – they are assumed to result from a functional breakdown or represent psychosomatic illness. He maintains that the symptoms of the wounds are often “dismissed, missed and misunderstood” by doctors. He illustrates this by sharing the heart-rending story of Chiara who suffered from Diabetes and at age 16 was admitted to hospital in an unconscious state resulting from “diabetic coma”. His explanation of how doctors tried unsuccessfully to treat her highlighted the doctors’ blindspot in relation to the wounds of trauma. Bruce explains how he achieved an effective diagnosis of Chiara’s condition by identifying the trigger for her traumatic response and using his understanding of neuroscience to develop a treatment protocol implemented by the doctors.

Bruce explains that different physical symptoms – such as chest pains, headaches, abdominal pain and fainting – are all potentially related to a “sensitised stress response” resulting from trauma. When I heard him explain “fainting” as one potential impact of trauma memory, I recalled how often I used to faint in Church in my childhood – simultaneously, I was experiencing the trauma of a violent, alcoholic father suffering from PTSD as a result of war service and imprisonment in Changi. My doctor had no explanation for these fainting spells. However, at the time, my home environment was heavily charged with parental conflict – unfortunately, none of us understood trauma, PTSD and the full extent of the wounds and impact of trauma, including addiction.

The impact of trauma on communication and relationships

Bruce draws on the concept of “sequential processing” of the brain to explain the impact of trauma on communication and relationships. Basically, the concept involves recognising that all sensory experience is firstly processed by the “lower brain”. Part of this processing involves matching the new input with “the catalogues of stored memories of the past”. The degree of matching with a traumatic experience determines whether or not a maladaptive stress response occurs. The smart part of our brain, the Cortex, can be shut down when the perception of risk (as a result of current or prior trauma) is very high – so the “thinking brain” is drowned out by the “survival brain”.

Bruce illustrates this by sharing the story of 3 year old Joseph who witnessed the abduction of his 11 year old sister, which resulted in her murder. At the time, Bruce was working with the FBI Child Abduction and Serial Killer Taskforce. He discovered that the FBI officers were unable to get any useful explanation from Joseph and he was asked to work with the child to try to find out information necessary to find the perpetrator and enable a conviction. Bruce provides a very detailed explanation of how he went about winning the boy’s trust and gaining the necessary information for conviction of the murderer.

As part of Bruce’s explanation of his process with Joseph, he discusses the impact of the “power differential” between the FBI Officers/himself as a stranger and the 3 year old traumatised child. He explained that when you are the person with all the power, you can be unaware of it or its potential impact. This fact has been brought home to me many times in co-facilitating the Confident People Management Program over 15 years (involving 2,000 managers in multiple programs and locations). What we have found is that the majority managers on the program (mainly drawn from the public sector) are totally unaware of their power to shape the team culture. At the outset of the program we say to them, “What you say, how you say it, what you do, how you do it and what you omit to do, shapes team culture hour in and hour out every day” – we add “whether you are conscious of it or not”.

Bruce’s discussion of the impact of trauma on communication in relationships highlights the wisdom of this advice that we have been giving to managers. He explains that the goal of communication is to achieve a “Cortex to Cortex” transmission. However, on both sides of the communication (giver and receiver), rational thoughts are first processed through “the emotional filters of the lower brain”. Hence, the message can be distorted in its transmission and reception. He explains lucidly that “our facial expression, tone of voice and words are turned into neural activity by the other person’s senses” – they can trigger a traumatised response or build the relationship with staff through developing trust, mutual respect and safety. A by-product of this approach is the development of a sense of agency in the manager themselves. One of the participants on our program provided concrete evidence of the wounds of trauma and their impact when she explained that her current highly nervous state resulted from a manager shouting at her in front of other staff – this experience was traumatic for her, the impact being compounded by the power differential (and possibly stored memories of like, past adverse experiences).

Reflection

Many researchers and therapists talk about the wounds of trauma and their impact on relationships and communication. However, Bruce and Oprah in What Happened to You, “join the dots” and “pull it all together” from their decades of experience and ongoing conversations and collaboration. They enrich the meaning of the neuroscience concepts and insights with relatable stories that clearly illustrate the points they are making.

At one stage when talking about the power differential, Bruce mentioned that it may take 10 or more sessions before a client will feel safe and be prepared to “share some of their most emotionally difficult experiences” or acknowledge their contribution to those experiences. This discussion reminded me of my experience mentoring a manager who was traumatised on a daily basis by a narcissistic Director who continuously belittled him by publicly calling out his “mistakes” in front of his staff (sometimes the “mistakes were not his, but the Director’s). It took me 7 coaching sessions of 90 minutes each over a few months before he admitted that he was defensive in his communication. He said he experienced the insight as a “blow to his stomach” – an expression which showed the embodiment of his resistance resulting from the wounds of ongoing trauma and their impact on his feelings of safety while working with me (the “power differential” was at play in a major way as I had been engaged as a consultant by the Director to coach the “inefficient” manager). I have come to realise that in this interaction, I was an external consultant with a high degree of expert, personal and referent power – I was the one that was in a position of power, what Bruce describes as “at the top of the power differential”.

There is so much that plays out in our daily interactions that we are unaware of, especially if we are in a power position. We can grow in mindfulness and self-awareness through personal study, reflection and mindfulness practices such as meditation.

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Image by Wilfried Thünker from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Guided Mindful Movement Meditation

Tom Heah, a highly accredited mindfulness teacher, provides a guided meditation podcast on mindful movement, his particular area of expertise. Tom was an Occupational Therapist in Vancouver Canada until 2021 when he switched to offering mindfulness training to the Vancouver Center which focused on mental health and substance abuse. Tom has conducted many mindfulness training courses, including Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Mindful Awareness Practices (MAPs). He offers free access to guided audio versions of mindfulness practices incorporated in these courses – they are available for streaming and/or download. His recent mindful movement meditation was offered as the last of the 2022 weekly, UCLA online meditations. From 12 January 2023, the weekly meditations will resume as in-person, face-to-face sessions at the Hammer Museum with live streaming. The guided meditations will continue to be available in audio podcast form after the resumption.

Tom discusses the nature of mindfulness in terms of focusing on the internal and external sensations of the present moment. He suggests that this involves openness, interest and curiosity about our current reality, both internal and external. By focusing on the present moment, we resist the natural urge to ruminate about the past (experiences, mistakes, losses) or to worry about the future. Tom maintains that cultivated present moment awareness enables us to show up in the various arenas of our lives.

Tom highlights the fact that despite the festivities of the Christmas season, many people will be experiencing sadness through loss, isolation, loneliness, illness or conflict with relatives. He observes that people often cannot sit still when they are stressed – so he focuses on mindful movement in his guided meditation.

Guided mindful movement meditation

From the outset of the mindful movement meditation, Tom stresses the need to stay within our own physical limits, engaging in the suggested movements only to the extent that they do not cause pain. The fundamental idea of mindful movement is to move parts of our body while breathing in a controlled way. The aim then is to focus on the bodily sensations experienced with each form of movement. Guided movements can be undertaken either standing or sitting, allowing for variations for the chosen posture.

In the guided movement meditation, Tom skilfully directs our movements while guiding our breathing – all the time reminding us not to stop breathing. Some of the movements involve raising both arms, moving our arms sideways and slowly moving the neck in a number of directions. It is important to follow the guidance provided so that we can remain focused on our bodily sensations, without thinking about the next step.

After completing the movement meditation, Tom guides us on a silent, still meditation where we can focus on an anchor of our choice to enable us to return to our focus when we become distracted by thinking or planning. The anchor could be our breathing, sounds that surround us or some form of bodily sensation such as our fingers touching.

Reflection

The guided meditation provided by Tom is one of the many meditations that involve mindful movement. Others include Tai Chi and Yoga. As we grow in mindfulness through mindful movement meditations, we can develop new perspectives on old problems, respond to triggers in a more skilful way and experience greater ease and restfulness. Our increased bodily awareness can help us to better access the wisdom of the body and develop openness to our intuition.

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Image by Moondance from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Mindfulness as a Way of Letting Go

Allyson Pimentel. mindfulness teacher with the Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), UCLA, offers a guided meditation podcast titled, Mindfulness as Letting Go and Letting Be. She describes the meditation as a Compassionate Body Scan and notes that it’s an adaption from a book by Susan Pollak, Thomas Pedulla and Ronald D. Siegel, Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy. While the Compassionate Body Scan is one of the many meditations offered for therapists working with clients, it has wider application for every-day use by non-therapists. To this end, the authors offer a series of audio meditation podcasts for personal use in downloadable format, along with handouts that list the steps in each mindfulness practice..

The Letting Go meditation offered by Allyson at the end of the 2022 is very timely as it coincides with a time when we have a natural tendency to review our year and begin to make resolutions about changes we want to make in our life. This could mean breaking free of the ties that bind us, e.g., shame, expectations, perfectionism, or fear of failure. It might entail overcoming self-protection or false beliefs that are preventing us from undertaking needed personal change. Alternatively, it could involve letting go of difficult emotions, such as anger, hatred and resentment.

Allyson reminds us that mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment as it is – not as we wish it to be. In this sense, it requires us to let go of “fantasy” and get in touch with our reality as it is, not distorted by wishful thinking. Her guided meditation involves adopting an attitude of compassion towards ourselves as we scan our bodies and get in touch with the here-and-now bodily sensations we are experiencing. Unlike some other forms of body scan, the focus of the compassionate body scan is not on release of tension but softening the sensation – staying with the discomfort and noticing how it changes over time as you soften its intensity. Allyson points out that the process “can begin to soften the hardened, contracted aspects of our life, our bodies, our minds”.

Guided meditation

At the outset. Allyson explains that letting go within the meditation is not an active process such as throwing out unwanted materials but a passive process of “letting be” – noticing and accepting what is. The goal is to develop “clear insight” into our current reality as reflected in our bodily sensations. Freedom lies in relating to ‘what is” with kindness and self-compassion, however painful. She quotes an insightful poem by a friend that acknowledges “the pain of letting go what defines yourself”.

During the guided meditation, Allyson helps us to focus on various body parts, starting with our forehead and extending to our feet, all the time bringing compassion to ourselves. This is a particular form of meditation that is better with a guide as it helps us to focus on our bodily sensations and supports us to soften our sensations rather than adopt the habituated behaviour of attempting to remove or release them. The meditation component of the podcast is about 20 minutes.

Reflection

During the guided meditation, I became conscious of my efforts at letting go when playing social tennis. After having played team tennis competitions for two decades, I had developed an ingrained “need to win”. I have had to progressively curb my need to win each point, each game, my own service game and eventually each set. Underpinning this letting go is the need to let go of the image of myself as a very fit 40 year old playing A-Grade tennis. The reality is that I am 76 years of age and losing strength in my arms, wrists and legs – my current reality, not my “fantasy’. The last milestone in letting go of my “need-to-win” mindset, is being able to genuinely “savour the wins of others” – the winning shots of my opponents.

At the outset of the guided meditation, Allyson encourages us to take in our environment. Fortuitously, I had decided to undertake the guided meditation while seated on our back deck – not in my office as I usually do. The environment I was able to take in was very calming and pleasant – the warm sun of a Summer’s afternoon, glimpses of Moreton Bay and the islands, a very blue cloudless sky, a gentle cooling breeze and the sounds of Rainbow Lorikeets returning to their nightly resting place.

Gabor Maté, leading trauma expert, reminds us in his latest book, The Myth of Normal, that healing “starts with waking up…to what our bodies are expressing and our minds are suppressing”. Edith Eger, holocaust survivor and world-renowned psychologist, suggests that what we need to do is to “remove the concentration camp of our mind” – thus choosing freedom over victimhood.

As we grow in mindfulness through reflection and guided meditations, we grow in self-awareness – awareness of our bodies, our mindset, the thoughts and emotions that are holding us back from genuine healing and growth. We need to give ourselves compassion and kindness as we are letting go. Allyson maintains that this process enables us to live our life with greater wisdom and skills and greater compassion towards others.

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Image by MrsKirk72 from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

Expressing Emotions or Being Imprisoned by Avoidance

Edith Eger In her book, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life, discusses the “the imprisonment of avoidance” – the refusal to express challenging emotions. She maintains that avoiding feelings through suppression leads to depression – the opposite involves release through expression. We can supress our feelings for many reasons, e.g. to avoid the pain and hurt of recollection or to protect others from seeing us as vulnerable and suffering.

If we are suffering from past hurts or trauma we can try to shield loved ones from the discomfort that comes with the expression of strong feelings. In the process, we are not being honest and we are also depriving them of the opportunity to express empathy and love. We can also unconsciously train our children to avoid the expression of feelings when they are hurt or upset. We can try to diminish their feelings out of our own discomfort or sense of sadness. We might say, “Don’t cry, there will be other opportunities to go to parties”, “You’ll forget about this tomorrow”, “Look how many friends you do have who let you play”, or “Let’s get some ice cream and make the pain go away!” (we can try to substitute something pleasurable to avoid the expression of pain and hurt, thus setting in place habituated avoidance behaviour).

Edith suggests that sometimes we suppress our feelings by trying to convince ourselves that we are happy and joyful when this is patently not true. We might even resort to affirmations to hide our true feelings. This form of subterfuge only acerbates our feelings because it denies our reality – the depth and breadth of our true feelings. Edith encourages us “to feel so you can heal” because “you can’t heal what you don’t feel”. Sometimes our underlying feelings can be mired in resentment and can be unearthed through a guided reflection.

There is a real cost to ourselves in avoidance. Despite our very best efforts, emotions are embodied – they manifest in our bodies as physical tension/pain and/or result in emotional or physical illness. By not living our truth or accepting the reality of how we are feeling, we undermine our own integrity and personal integration. Edith provides a detailed and graphic example of the impact of unexpressed feelings on a women who experienced incomprehensible violence by a family member. Her life was lived in fear and loneliness because she never owned up to her feelings of rage, anger and deep fear of the perpetrator.

There may be times in conversation with a friend that we withhold a true expression of our feelings about some matter relevant to our relationship with them. Edith suggests that we can revisit the conversation mentally, work out what we should have said and then approach the relevant person at a suitable time and in a neutral place to express our real feelings. We could even start by practising with restaurant waitresses and expressing our honest feelings about a meal (rather than hiding our true feelings because we do not want to hurt or embarrass them).

Facing up to our feelings and naming them provides a real release. Edith suggests that we can practise this by stopping ourselves at any time during the day and naming our emotion, whether positive or challenging, in the present moment. This is not only a form of mindfulness practice but is also a way to increase self-awareness and develop honesty about our feelings both to ourselves and others.

Edith explains that sometimes this challenge to express rather than supress feelings appears overwhelming. She writes about her inability to face the Auschwitz Museum for fear of the pain of recollection of her parent’s murder and her own torture and starvation as a prisoner in the concentration camp. It took her a lot of courage after 10 years to visit the Museum and she describes in detail what she felt when confronted with images of emaciated people, the cattle trains and arrival platform. She found herself cringing and curled herself up into a tight ball in a dark corner of the Museum – overwhelmed by grief, pain, anguish and anger. However, revisiting the trauma and owning the depth of her feelings provided a new level of release to enable her to be even more productive and helpful in her ongoing work as a trauma consultant – she had finally gained release from the imprisonment of avoidance.

Reflection

Edith’s own life experience, which she shares so freely in her books, bears out how difficult it is to free ourselves from the imprisonment of avoidance. It may take many years of progressive inner work, and trying out various ways of overcoming our entrapment, to achieve some degree of freedom and realise ease and joy. However, suppression leads to ongoing suffering and depression.

As we grow in mindfulness, we become increasingly self-aware of the different ways we avoid expressing our true emotions, develop the courage to own up to these emotions and achieve the resilience required to break free of the imprisonment of avoidance. _________________________________

Image source: Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.

On the Frontline During COVID – Self Caring for the Carers

Professor Cynda Hylton Rushton and Rheanna Hoffmann recently engaged in a moving video podcast conversation that highlighted the scars and distress of what it means to be a frontline nurse during the COVID pandemic. They covered not only the impact on nurses physical and mental health but also explored strategies that could be adopted by nurses to manage their distress. Cynda will be a key presenter at the free, online Healing Healthcare Summit in early February 2022.

Cynda is incredibly well-informed about nurses experiences during the pandemic, being a nurse herself and working with nurses to develop what she calls “moral resilience” – the ability of an individual to “restore or sustain” integrity in the face of the onslaught of challenges to their inner harmony and capacity to align their words and actions with their values and deep commitments.

Cynda, whose focus includes clinical ethics and contemplative practice, brings to the conversation penetrating insight and deep caring and compassion – characteristics that are manifested in her faculty work with the clinicians training program, Being with Dying. Cynda is the author of Moral Resilience: Transforming Moral Suffering in Healthcare.

Rheanna is an emergency nurse who is also a meditation practitioner and teacher with extensive experience in mindfulness and its benefits. During the worst of the pandemic in the US, she volunteered to work in New York City. Her personal recollections of this experience can be found in an interview where she shares an intimate insight into what happened for herself and others during the overwhelming crisis. Her presentation is part of the Mindful Healthcare Speaker Series which is readily available as a “resource for challenging times”.

In her discussion with Cynda, Rheanna provided an expose of her emergency nursing experience during COVID that is raw and vulnerable but manifests her openness and courage. I have previously reported on Rheanna’s interview about death and the dying process with Frank Ostaseski, Founder of the Zen Hospice Project. Rheanna herself is the Founder of The Whole Practitioner designed to help nurses “to rediscover health, balance and their core values” after experiencing burnout, exhaustion and deeply personal frustration.

The distress of frontline COVID nurses

Rheanna recounted in telling detail the nature and extent of distress experienced by COVID nurses, especially those who were engaged in emergency wards. She spoke emotively about the following experiences and sensations:

Reaching the limit of effectiveness of personal resources – whether that be yoga, friends or colleagues
Experiencing isolation and loneliness – tendency to withdraw physically and mentally to deal with the overwhelm
Feeling incredibly bare and vulnerable – the challenge of people dying and grief (that of relatives/friends and your own grief)
Physical exhaustion – tired beyond belief and suffering from lack of sleep, resulting from replaying adverse incidences
Feeling chronic hopelessness and helplessness – the challenges were beyond the capacity of individuals and the health system itself; exposure to personal limitations in the face of so much death and suffering. Associated with this sense of helplessness are nightmares, flashbacks, randomly crying and insomnia.
Separation from self – the natural consequence of traumatic experiences.
Loss of a sense of balance – impacting how time, health and relationships are valued or devalued (because of lack of time allocated to them)
Burnout – on physical, psychological and moral levels. Rheanna described this as “acute burnout” reducing the energy for self-care and potentially leading to thoughts of suicide.

Rheanna pointed out that nurses, including herself, were normally able to “compartmentalise” their adverse experiences and do so in a way that was healthy, However, the adverse experiences from the pandemic were “unrelenting”, leading to chronic distress. Part of the frustration was the inability of frontline nurses to help others at times when they were feeling so “fragile”.

Self-caring strategies for frontline COVID nurses

Cynda offered several self-care strategies for COVID nurses during her conversation with Rheanna. Some covered ways of addressing negative self-talk while others focused on adopting a changed perspective and mindset or instituting a mindfulness practice:

Mindfulness practice: Cynda offered a mindfulness practice that could be used by COVID nurses experiencing distress and burnout. This focused initially on the breath with the out-breath being viewed as a release of stress. In the exercise, the exhale stage was lengthened to accentuate and support release. Participants were encouraged to rest in the gap between the in-breath and out-breath and, where possible, extend this gap between breaths. A slow body scan was the next step with emphasis on identifying and releasing points of tension. Participants were encouraged to focus on an anchor of choice to stop their minds addressing their extended to-do list or diverting into worrying. Cynda suggested that nurse participants become conscious of how many miles their feet have travelled in pursuit of their daily caring and the level of support that their feet have provided. Lastly, she encouraged the nurses to employ statements such as:
- May I trust the wisdom of this moment consciously and fully.
- May I have the courage, honesty and openness to see things clearly and without judgment.
- May I be willing to let go of what impedes me rather than helps me.
- May I encounter a wise mentor to assist me to deal with these challenges.
Confronting your own limitations: Rheanna pointed out the sense of guilt and shame that she experienced that were driven , in part, by her self-talk – “you could have done more”, “if only you had acted faster”, “if you had paid attention more fully you could have saved more people”, “if only you had been able to convince people to make different decisions”, etc. Our minds are very creative when it comes to self-denigration and negative self-evaluations. It is important to acknowledge that no one could have handled the challenges for nursing presented by the pandemic and not experience their debilitating effects. Cynda suggests that nurses need to “turn towards their limitations” and do so “with as much compassion “ as they extend to others. There is scope here for loving-kindness meditation for oneself.
Changing your perspective: Cynda stated that the tendency in these crisis situations is to think that you are carrying the load by yourself because there is a natural tendency to turn inwards to cope with what is happening. She argues that what is required is a change in perspective. For example, she asked Rheanna to think about “Who else is carrying the load of the pandemic? “Who has your back? (e.g. friends, family, colleagues local and abroad & mentors).
Separate effort from outcomes: Cynda maintained that a form of self-care is to acknowledge that the health outcomes are often beyond the control of a nurse. She stated that In her own work she does the best she can in the circumstances to meet an identified need but recognises that the specific outcomes are not in her control – there are too many intervening aspects impacting the final outcome. Cynda maintains that freeing yourself from expectations and outcomes is crucial for a nurses’ welfare. In the pandemic, COVID nurses such as Rheanna attempted to “fix unsolvable problems”. Nurses’ health outcomes were not the result of lack of effort or smarts but because the pandemic situation exceeded the capacity of individuals and the health system itself.
Savour achievements – Cynda reinforces the view that the brain has a natural negative bias and is more likely to “mull over” what did not go well rather than “honour what we are able to do in the moment”, given the circumstances thrust upon us. She stated that nurses need to focus on how they made a difference in people’s lives, e.g., holding someone’s hands as they were dying, gasping for breath or having a tube inserted to enable them to breathe. This thought expressed kindly by Cynda precipitated a chain reaction from Rheanna who began to identify numerous moments when she “deeply showed up with people” and , in the process, rediscovered “what it means to be a nurse” and gained insight into the very core of her being and who she was. The other aspect that Rheanna savoured was her deep connection with people who were suffering – in spite of what was happening around her independently of her best efforts.

Reflection

Much of what Cynda proposed as strategies to help nurses deal with the extraordinary level of stress of frontline work during the pandemic can be incredibly useful for all of us to manage stress and resultant distress in our daily lives. As we grow in mindfulness through meditation, reflection and other mindfulness practices we can reshape our perspective and expectations, savour the positive in our lives (including being alive), confront our grief and limitations and achieve the freedom of separating outcomes from effort in our chosen endeavours.

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

By Ron Passfield – Copyright (Creative Commons license, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives)

Disclosure: If you purchase a product through this site, I may earn a commission which will help to pay for the site, the associated Meetup group, and the resources to support the blog.